TVBO 40

Chapter 40

“What do you mean by that? If you knew I loved you… at least…”
At least you shouldn’t have said something like that.
More tears streamed down from my eyes than before. No matter how hard I tried to hold them back, I couldn’t suppress this sadness and pain.
“You shouldn’t say things like that…”
“Your Highness, the Princess has no right to interfere in my affairs. I hope you do not forget that.”
“…Have I been too lenient with you until now?”
I don’t need to be anymore.

My desire to be loved by you hasn’t changed, but I won’t beg for it anymore — not without using power like before.
There’s nothing I can’t have.
I’m the princess — the most noble, the highest-ranking person in this empire.
I can control you with power. Father will surely support me.

“I will never… allow you to look at anyone else but me, Chester!”
“…”
“There’s nothing I can’t have. You don’t even need to love me anymore.”

I used to long for your affection, but now I won’t even be able to see that warm look in your eyes anymore.
Even though I could have anything I want, I have no intention of letting someone else take you from me.
I am a selfish person.

“Because I love you… even if you come to hate me, I will never let you go.”
Until now, I didn’t want you to hate me. I tried so hard to avoid doing anything that might make you resent me.
But now, if you don’t hate me, I’ll lose you to someone else.

“Your Highness, please refrain from doing anything rash.”
“I think I’ve been too soft on you. Like you said, I’m a princess…”
Was it foolish of me to yearn for your love?
I could have just used my authority to push for our marriage. Like a fool, I wanted love instead.

In truth, I already knew it — that you would never look at me with eyes full of warmth.
Even though I knew, I still held on to that faint hope and refused to crush you with my power. That was my foolishness.
Even though I have power!

“We’re going to get married. You can’t refuse.”
“…”
“Even if you don’t want to, you’ll have to. I’m the empire’s only princess — and the princess wants you!”
I will never allow what’s mine to be taken away. And you are mine.
“I’ll no longer give you the right to refuse me.”

The devoted affection I once had turned into obsession.

“Ugh…”
“Yulia, are you awake?”
“…Chester?”
When I barely opened my eyes, I saw Chester’s face.
I reached out and pulled him close. Maybe because I didn’t want to lose him — I held him tightly.

He leaned close and whispered softly enough that only I could hear, his voice slightly awkward.
“Um… Yulia, it’s not just me here right now.”
At those words, I pushed him away in a panic.

The moment I looked around, I could feel my face burning red like a tomato even without seeing a mirror.
It wasn’t just Chester in my room — my father, my brother, my nurse, and even the imperial physician were there.
If there had been a mouse hole nearby, I would’ve crawled into it and hidden.

“Uh… um… everyone was worried?”
It wasn’t that it felt burdensome — it was embarrassing.
I hadn’t realized so many people were in the room when I hugged Chester like that. I couldn’t even lift my head.

“Yulia. I told you to speak up if you felt sick.”
“No… I wasn’t sick… I swear it’s not an excuse, brother!”
“How could someone who wasn’t sick suddenly collapse?”
“If I said I wasn’t sick, then I wasn’t!”

I was fine now. I tried to sit up in bed, but Chester stopped me and gently laid me back down.
I stared at him blankly, not understanding his behavior.
“You shouldn’t get up yet.”
“No… I’m really not sick, I’m totally fine…”
“What if you move too soon and faint again?”

With those worried eyes looking down at me, how could I possibly get up? I just stayed lying there.
All these worried looks — well, I guess it’s my karma.

“Brother.”
“Yes, Yulia.”
“Get married soon.”
“…”
“Before I collapse again, hurry up and get married. I have to see you married before I die.”

I just wanted him to marry Cecile soon, to confirm that the story had completely gone off its original course.
I knew it was selfish, but I wanted assurance that my family and I could live on in peace.

Now, whenever I saw Chester, my heart pounded wildly — just like in that dream.
My feelings for him in reality and in the dream were starting to blend together, and I was terrified that things might unfold the same way they had in that nightmare.
I prayed that my fate wouldn’t follow that path — where I ran away holding my brother’s hand and ended up alone.

“Brother?”
“All right. If you’re in such a hurry, I’ll do it.”
“Really?”
“Yes. But since it hasn’t been long since Marquis Chloe passed away, we should at least give it some time.”
“That’s fine! Of course!”
“All right.”
“…I’m sorry for worrying everyone. But I’m really fine! I’m not sick!”

My brother didn’t reply — he clearly didn’t believe me.
“If you don’t believe me, the imperial physician is right here…”

I gave the physician a subtle look, hoping he’d check my pulse and tell everyone I was fine — that my brother was worrying over nothing.
I didn’t want to make my family anxious.

The imperial physician seemed to understand my intention. He came over and checked my pulse.
Of course, since nothing was wrong, the result was obvious.
“Your Highness… there’s no serious illness, but your body is quite weakened.”
Well, that much was true, I guess.
“It would be best if you increased your food intake.”
“…”
“And you should cut down on desserts for a while.”
“…What?”
Wait — what? How could he say something so cruel?!
“Your Highness tends to eat more dessert than meals.”
“Ah… well, that’s true, but…”
“If you don’t cut down on sweets, your appetite for regular food won’t improve.”
He wasn’t wrong, but… dessert was my joy in life!

Soft, sweet cake that melts in your mouth — how could I give that up?
It wouldn’t be surprising if I did fall sick from the shock.

“For the time being… no, for one month, the princess may only have one dessert per day.”
“F… Father.”
“It’s an imperial order.”

And of course, Father had to pour oil on the fire.
“Father!”
“Yulia… I’m afraid you might collapse again.”
“Father! Still—”
“Lea too. She wasn’t sick at first either.”

At the mention of my mother’s name, I fell silent.
My mother’s death had deeply affected everyone — especially Father, who was broken by it.
He had been the one who grieved the most while watching her suffer.

He was worried I might end up like her — growing weaker and dying slowly.
But the truth was, her health had suddenly worsened because of my birth.
If only I hadn’t existed…

“…All right.”
“It’s for your own good, Yulia.”
“I know. I just… want to be alone for a while.”
“…All right.”

When I said I wanted to be alone, everyone started to leave. As Chester was about to follow them, I grabbed his sleeve tightly.
“Don’t go.”
“…”
“Everyone else can leave… Chester stays.”

My brother looked like he wanted to protest, but Father stopped him.
Thankfully, everyone left the room except Chester. Soon, there were no more footsteps — just the two of us remained.

“Chester.”
“Yes.”
“Sit down first.”
He pulled a chair close to the bed and sat down.
“Are you feeling all right?”
“I’m really fine… not even a bit sick. Father’s just overreacting.”
“Yulia.”
“Let’s go on a date at the café tomorrow.”
“…Yulia, didn’t the imperial physician say you should cut down on desserts? And His Majesty gave an imperial order.”
“I’m not sick.”
“I’m worried. Do you know how scared I was?”
“That’s…”
“You suddenly collapsed saying you were in pain… that helplessness — I never want to feel that again.”

He clasped my hand tightly and looked at me with sorrowful eyes.
The reason I fainted was probably because of that strange dream — not because there was anything wrong with my body.
But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about it.

“Chester.”
“Yes.”
“But I still want cake. If I eat it secretly, Father won’t find out.”
“…Yulia.”
“Hm? Can’t I?”

I looked up at him with sparkling eyes. This was the only way I could still eat dessert.
If Father had limited me by imperial decree, then sneaking around was my only loophole.
“Hm? Chester?”
“Haa… Yulia, that would be difficult.”
“So… it’s really not okay.”

Then I’ll seriously have to live a whole month with only one dessert a day?
After twenty years of enjoying sweets that melt in my mouth, now I can only have one per day?
There’s no torture worse than this.

“Yulia, instead, you could have some meat—”
“Chocolate. Cake. Macaron. Parfait. Cookie. Meringue cookie.”
“…”
“I want them. With you. Tomorrow.”

My voice was tinged with disappointment.
When I looked up at him from the corner of my eyes, a smile crept across my lips —

Because I saw Chester’s eyes waver.
Thankfully, it seemed I wouldn’t have to worry too much about cutting down on desserts after all.