TVBO 39

Chapter 39

The word possessiveness echoed in my mind, and a sharp pain throbbed in my head.
My heart tightened, a tingling numbness spread through my chest, and cold sweat trickled down my body as the headache pulsed stronger.
It was hard to breathe.

“Ugh…!”

“Yulia?”

“My head… it feels like it’s splitting open.”

The clearer the pain became, the blurrier my consciousness grew.
Even as I started to lose consciousness, I could faintly hear Chester’s urgent voice calling for the royal physician.
But that wasn’t who I needed.

“Chester… stay by my side.”

I clutched his clothes tightly and let my body fall into his arms.
He seemed to be shouting something, but I couldn’t hear a thing.
My dim vision faded completely into darkness.

When I saw Chester with Lady Chloe, my heart nearly stopped.
More precisely—it was because, for the first time, his eyes weren’t cold.
I wanted to deny it, but I couldn’t.
The gaze I had longed for him to direct at me was instead fixed on another woman.

Crack—

My fingertips trembled. His gaze was supposed to be only on me, yet it was locked on someone else. It made me anxious.
I was the one who liked Chester first.
All my efforts—all my emotions—had turned to nothing.
For a moment, I wanted to barge in and ruin the moment between them, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I turned around and left.
If I looked at them for even a second longer, I felt like I would go insane.

“Chester!”

The next day, I went to find him.
I already knew what I had seen, but I pretended ignorance—as I always did—and went to him again.
When I flung open the office door, he wasn’t there.
I searched every corner of the duke’s mansion, but there was not even a strand of his hair in sight.
He, who had spent every day buried in paperwork without even sparing me a glance, was suddenly gone.

So, I went to the head butler.

“Butler! Where’s Chester?”

“The Duke has gone out, Your Highness. He had an appointment.”

“Where?”

Having visited the duke’s residence so often, the butler had grown used to me and told me where Chester had gone.

I hurried to the place he mentioned—after all, there was no such thing as “impossible” for a princess.

Even from far away, I could recognize Chester. I could see him, but he couldn’t see me from that distance.
He wasn’t alone. A blonde woman stood beside him.
That woman—she must have been Lady Chloe from yesterday.

I slowly walked closer, to a distance where I could see his eyes.
I didn’t care anymore if he saw me.

“Chester…”

Everything crumbled.
I had never once seen him look at anyone with such warmth—such tenderness.
I wanted to deny it, but I couldn’t. I had to accept it.
The smile he had never shown me, he was showing to that woman.

I was the one who liked Chester first.
I courted him first.
I met him first.
I confessed first.
So why?

Why was his gaze directed at someone else instead of me?

“…”

My legs gave out, and I stumbled.
I couldn’t bear to watch them any longer.
I wanted to deny, to ignore the fact that the warmth in his eyes was for someone else.

I didn’t even remember how I got back to the Imperial Palace.
When I came to my senses, tears were streaming down my face.
I let out a hollow laugh.

“No… I must’ve seen it wrong…”

Tomorrow, I would go to the Duke’s mansion again.
I had to see Chester’s face with my own eyes. Only then could I calm down.

I forced myself to sleep, and when morning came, I washed and dressed carefully.
Because of all the crying, my eyes were swollen and red, so I covered them with makeup.
Then, earlier than usual, I headed for the Duke of Zikbert’s mansion.
If I were even a little late, what if he wasn’t there?

Royal dignity? I threw that all away.
I rushed through the halls and threw open his office door.

Thankfully, Chester was there today.

“Haah… Your Highness the Princess.”

As always, he looked at me with that same expression of annoyance.
How could he smile so warmly for Lady Chloe, yet look at me like I was a burden?

But as soon as I saw his face, my heart still reacted.
No matter what, I was weak when it came to him.

“I would appreciate it if you left now, Your Highness.”

“Chester…”

“I’ll see you out myself. Please, return for today.”

I was weak for him, and yet he drove me away.

Was I asking for too much?
I wasn’t asking for his love—just that he wouldn’t push me away.
I was willing to wait, to keep showing him my heart until he could accept it…
But instead, he turned his eyes to another woman.

What was I supposed to do? My vision spun.

“I—I liked you first!”

Yes, what does royal dignity matter?
I love you.

So why did my chest ache as though I would burst into tears at any moment?
Why couldn’t I stand properly?

“What do I lack compared to her? Tell me, Chester!”

“Your Highness—”

“That’s right! I’m the Empire’s only princess! There’s nothing I can’t have! Then why… why you—”

My legs gave out, and I fell to the floor.
I clung to his leg, begging—something no princess should ever do.
Pathetically, desperately, I held onto him.

But Chester’s eyes were only cold.
There wasn’t even the faintest trace of warmth in his gaze.
In fact, he looked… annoyed.

“You shouldn’t waste your time here. It would be best if you returned home.”

I had followed him long enough to know this tone.
This was the bare minimum courtesy he offered me only because I was royalty.
He was at the very edge of his patience—but he couldn’t throw me out outright, because I was the princess.

But that wasn’t what I wanted.
I was the one who had fallen first, confessed first, and longed for him first.
Even before that woman appeared, I had loved Chester first!

“Chester! You can’t do this to me!”

I was first.

Then why did his eyes look so tired—so unwilling?
Do you hate me that much?

Would you look at me if I acted like her?
If I made myself look like her?

“Then I’ll dye my hair blonde like Lady Chloe’s! I’ll use medicine to make my eyes green! Then… then will you—”

Would you look at me with warmth, even just once?

If that’s what it takes, I’ll go back to that time I swore I’d never remember.
If you like blondes, I’ll dye my hair that color, no matter how much I hate it.

“There’s no need for that. No matter what you look like, Your Highness, I will never be interested in you.”

Chester was merciless.
I was the one who loved first, confessed first, approached first—so why wouldn’t he accept me?

It hurt.
I loved him more, waited longer… yet his gaze was always on someone else.

“No matter what Your Highness says, nothing will change.”

“…”

“Even if you dye your silver hair gold, even if you change your violet eyes to green, my heart will not change.”

My legs gave out again, and I collapsed.
Hot tears streamed down my cheeks uncontrollably.

With trembling hands, I grabbed his ankle.

“Chester… you can’t do this to me…”

“…”

“I’ll change. I’ll change myself. I’ll act like her, I swear!”

“No, Your Highness. You could never replace Lady Chloe.”

“I’ll give up everything. Please… I’ll match myself to you…”

Won’t you look at me?
After all the love I gave you—
Is this the price of my affection?

“No… You know how much I love you. You can’t mean this…”

“Your Highness. Please stop. You’re making this difficult.”

His eyes were cold—so cold they cut right through me.
My trembling hand slowly slipped from his leg.

“How… Chester, how could you do this to me? I said I’d give up everything for you…”

My voice shook.
All the time I’d spent hoping he would open his heart had turned to dust.

“Your Highness.”

He bent one knee and looked me in the eye.
For a fleeting moment, I still had a tiny bit of hope.

He took my chin in his hand.
Our eyes met—his red gaze piercing mine.

“Since you love me, Your Highness… please understand.”

“What…?”

Was that what you said—to someone who’s begging you, please, just look at me with warmth once?
You’re telling me to understand?

Because I love you… I should understand you loving someone else?

How dare you—
How dare you say that to me?