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Chapter 41
Schwynn touched her now-bare philtrum.
It had hurt so much when she’d torn it off by herself. If it hadn’t been for Esselian, she might not have been able to remove it at all.
With her philtrum still red and swollen, Schwynn sipped her cocoa before looking up at the young man.
“By the way, may I ask your name, sir?”
“I’m not sure my name is all that important, but it’s Theo.”
“Theo. Nice to meet you.”
“……I can’t say the feeling is mutual. You two are rather uncomfortable guests.”
Schwynn had no intention of revealing her identity. That was why she’d said earlier that they were just passersby. But Esselian had suddenly disclosed who they were. Well, thanks to that, they were able to rest for a bit.
“I’m sorry if we’ve inconvenienced you.”
“It’s fine.”
“Would it be all right if we imposed on you a little longer? It’s just so warm here.”
“Why don’t you just stay the night, then?”
Theo hadn’t meant to sound so prickly, but when the Grand Duke stared at him intently, he quietly shut his mouth.
Why is he glaring at me like that? I can’t say a thing.
“Is that really okay?”
Theo went stiff when he saw the Grand Duchess’s eyes sparkle. It was such an unexpected reaction that he nodded without thinking.
“We actually came to see the aurora. But going back down now feels daunting… Theo, thank you. We’ll make sure to compensate you properly!”
“Well… yes. Do as you like……”
The Grand Duke and Grand Duchess of Ranied.
They were guests he’d never imagined hosting, but thankfully, they didn’t seem connected to the people Theo was avoiding.
Letting the Grand Duchess stay aside, having the Grand Duke here might actually be helpful. The mountains were full of dangers, and Theo’s family might come looking for him at any time. With a war hero Grand Duke present, he wouldn’t have to stay on edge like usual.
Looks like I’ll be able to sleep peacefully tonight.
Even so, after doing the mental math, Theo nodded with reluctance. Then he glanced at the Grand Duchess.
‘So that’s what the princess of Lutenia looks like…’
He’d never thought he’d see the princess he’d only heard rumors about. Even after becoming the Grand Duchess, she’d skipped all official events, so he’d assumed she’d keep avoiding them forever.
“But isn’t it scary living out here alone? I mean, it feels like thieves could break in at any time……”
Theo shrugged and pointed to the axe leaning in the kitchen.
Aside from one room, the cabin had no other spaces. The combined living room and kitchen, plus a single bedroom, made up the entire place. Even if a thief broke in, there was nothing to steal and nowhere to hide.
“I’d just beat them to death.”
“Ah… haha…… I see.”
It was a sensible response, but she couldn’t help thinking he might be dangerous. The only reason she’d suggested resting here was because Esselian was with her. If she’d been alone—or with someone else—she wouldn’t have dared.
“If you’re here to see the aurora, it’d be better to go a bit higher up. The view gets incredible.”
As if just remembering, Theo added that.
Schwynn’s skin, which had felt like it would split from the cold, had thawed by the warm fire and returned to normal.
“Yes. I was thinking of going a little higher anyway.”
“Seeing it from here isn’t bad either. You don’t look well, and this weather is perfect for getting stranded.”
“No. Since we’ve come this far, I want to go up. If I turn back now, I’ll regret it forever.”
Schwynn was firm. Theo nodded half-heartedly and went into the kitchen.
“Then we’ll be back shortly. We won’t be too late!”
“……All right.”
Theo watched Schwynn prepare to leave, putting her gloves back on and wrapping her shawl around herself.
Then he took out a can of food, went into his room, and returned with a shabby outer coat, handing it to her.
“If you go out like that, you might catch a cold. Wear it—or don’t.”
He tossed it onto the low wooden table and strode back into his room.
Watching his retreating back, Schwynn stood there blankly before calling out belatedly.
“I’ll wear it well!”
She’d been cold, so this worked out.
Though the coat was old and worn, it was better than nothing.
Schwynn reached out to pick it up, but Esselian got to it first.
“You mustn’t just wear anything you find.”
He took off his own coat and gently draped it over Schwynn’s shoulders.
She glanced toward the room, worried Theo might have heard such a rude remark, but there was no reaction. The door was closed—he probably hadn’t heard.
“But Your Highness, you’ll be cold too.”
“I’ll wear this instead. I can’t have my wife wearing something like that.”
“Shh, he’ll hear! And as long as it’s warm, I’m fine.”
This wasn’t the time to be picky.
“Mine will be warmer.”
Esselian put on the coat Theo had given them. He hadn’t noticed before, but now that Esselian was wearing it, it looked like rags. The hem was torn, and patches of fabric had been sewn in all over.
It was clothing neither Schwynn nor Esselian would ever normally wear.
“Does it suit me?”
“Huh? Um……”
What should she say? She couldn’t say rags suited him, but saying they didn’t felt wrong too.
“Oh dear. I suppose it doesn’t.”
“It’s just that Your Highness is so exceptionally good-looking……”
“Exceptionally?”
“No matter what you wear, you’re handsome.”
Schwynn spoke sincerely, offering a compliment meant to please. Esselian slowly rubbed his chin, humming softly as the corners of his lips lifted.
“Is that your taste?”
His face came closer, and Schwynn leaned back.
“My… taste?”
“……Uh, well, that is…”
She swallowed.
‘Why now of all times…!’
She suddenly remembered the kiss in the alley. Heat rushed through her body. Unaware of her thoughts, Esselian simply looked at her, waiting for an answer.
“…Yes. You’re handsome, and pretty too. It is my taste.”
Only the surface, of course.
She had seen his vulnerable side, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t frightening. She still remembered the wedding day, the vivid scenes described in words replaying in her mind.
It might have been exaggerated imagination, but regardless, Schwynn never forgot who he truly was.
‘At this rate, two kisses and I’ll fall in love, honestly…!’
Scolding herself for her own frivolity, she barely regained her composure.
“So you won’t be having an affair, then.”
“Pardon?”
“Because I’ll continue to be handsome and pretty.”
Schwynn stared at him in disbelief at his shamelessness. He had the looks to back it up, but wasn’t he embarrassed?
“That’s… good for you…?”
“It’s good for both of us. You’ll be on my side until the end, and I’ll continue to suit your tastes, so you’ll enjoy looking at me.”
When Esselian smiled and said she’d be on his side until the end, Schwynn was left speechless.
She’d only said that to calm him down. She had meant it—there was a six-month limit, after all.
But it felt awkward to correct him now.
‘I can’t exactly say we’re divorcing in six months…’
And if she did, she’d probably already be walking hand in hand with Death.
“I’m sorry, Your Highness.”
Seeing how sincerely he believed she was on his side made her feel guilty for deceiving him.
“For what?”
“Just… I feel like I only talked about your looks.”
Esselian waved it off lightly.
“As long as you don’t take someone else’s side over mine, you don’t need to feel sorry. Especially not for that reason.”
He opened the door.
Darkness settled over his icy silver hair, while the light from inside warmed his crimson eyes.
“Wow… wow—!”
Beautiful green light rippled across the sky. Countless stars filled the night, and the shimmering veil around them made it feel as though the heavens themselves had opened.
“Your Highness, Your Highness, can you see it?”
“Yes.”
Though she knew she couldn’t touch it, Schwynn reached out without thinking. As she craned her neck back, Esselian firmly supported her from behind.
The climb had been exhausting, but the moment she saw the aurora, all thoughts of hardship vanished.
She had deliberately avoided looking at the sky on the way up, even telling Esselian to keep his eyes on the ground. The reward at the end of that patience was far greater than she’d expected.
“It’s so beautiful!”
She wanted to say more, but unfortunately lacked the words. Still, that alone was enough.
Only then did Schwynn remember that she’d come here to comfort Esselian.
“Oh! I baked cookies to eat while watching the aurora, but I forgot.”
She’d been carrying them the whole time, but the beautiful sky had made her forget everything else.
She opened the basket and took out the cookies wrapped tightly in cloth.
“Will helped make them, so you can just eat them. If you’re worried, I’ll go first!”
She handed them out, opening her mouth to eat her own share—but before she could, Esselian took a bite of his first.
Her eyes widened.
‘He’s so suspicious he wouldn’t even eat what I made…?’
“Is it really okay for you to eat it like that?”
“You said it yourself—you’re always on my side. So I shouldn’t be afraid.”
“Oh… that’s…”
“I thought I’d try trusting you.”
It was completely unexpected. Schwynn felt embarrassed and awkward—and at the same time, warmth filled her chest.
‘Yes, yes. This is how it’s supposed to be. It worked.’
Sweets, a beautiful view—it was perfect for both giving comfort and receiving it.
Smiling, Schwynn tested the waters.
“This might sound cliché, but… if things get hard, you can lean on me.”
“…….”
“At least for now, I’m on your side. And that’s what marriage is, right?”
“Spouses are still strangers in the end. People who can turn their backs at any time.”
“But when you’re sad or tired, it’s okay to lean on someone for a little while.”
“Hm.”
Esselian sounded unconvinced. She understood why.
Being told to lean on someone out of nowhere—his heart must have been locked tight.
Whatever had happened between the former Grand Duke and Grand Duchess had clearly hurt him deeply. To the point that he couldn’t trust anyone—not even himself.
“Honestly, I’m not good at that either. It feels like a burden, like I’m making the other person uncomfortable.”
Schwynn spoke about herself first—something she’d never told anyone.
She had her own moments of sadness and exhaustion. Even if she eventually shook them off, it was still hard before that.
Since childhood, she’d sometimes envied other children. The noble girls she saw in the palace looked so close to one another. She didn’t know how many times she’d turned her head at their laughter as they talked about parties, dresses, and boys they liked.
“At first… I just said it. To my parents. That I wanted to play with other kids too.”
She hadn’t become a companion maid by choice—it had been decided by her parents. That was why she envied people who could laugh and chat freely.
“I can’t forget the look on my parents’ faces back then. Even now.”
They’d looked utterly broken—there was no better word for it.
“I wasn’t asking for much. I just wanted something ordinary, like other kids. But they looked like they were about to cry, and I couldn’t understand why.”
At first, she didn’t know the reason.
“Later, I told someone who treated me kindly—and that’s when I realized. Ah… saying things as they are can burden the other person.”
As a child, Schwynn had only felt stifled. Once, she’d poured her heart out to the Empress she happened to meet.
The Empress had stared blankly, then suddenly her eyes reddened as emotion surged up.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘…Pardon? For what?’
‘I’m sorry… because there’s nothing I can do for you.’
