TNLA 46

Chapter 46

His head lowered again, fastening onto her neck. She flinched violently and tried to pull away, but his firm grip held her still as his teeth sank into her nape.

Arlen clenched her teeth against the pain shooting from her neck. Kashien had never once cared about the agony she might feel, but never before had he sucked so hard, so persistently, and for so long.

The relentless pull felt as if her flesh might be torn away. She squeezed her eyes shut from the pain, tears welling up.

At last, Kashien lifted his mouth from her throat. He gazed with satisfaction at the deep, dark mark he had left—so dark it was almost black. He wondered how many days it would remain.

Gently brushing her hair back behind her ear, his fingers surprisingly soft, he lifted one of her hands.

“Since the lady does not wish for more, we shall stop here.”

Smiling into her eyes as she slowly opened them, he pressed a courtly kiss to her hand.

Like a gentleman.

Time passed. The chill of winter in Shuel’s air gradually faded, and spring’s warmth began to rise. Buds swelled on the branches, and the earliest blossoms of the season began to sprout.

And sometimes, the townsfolk of Shuel saw a splendid carriage escorted by stern guards rolling out of the Grand Duke’s castle.

That day, the carriage was headed toward Madame Foer’s dress shop.

Inside the gently swaying carriage, Arlen peered out through a narrow slit of the window, just the width of her thumbnail.

She remembered last spring, when she had ridden a carriage away from Shuel toward Baerun, thinking she would return in the fall.

Back then, she had believed she would return as always—happy, peaceful, smiling with her family come autumn.

They would hold the knighting ceremony, celebrate the harvest festival, and spend a cozy winter together. If snow piled up in the castle courtyard, she and Jexion would have a snowball fight, only to be scolded by her mother for catching colds like foolish children, and dragged back inside. Her nanny would warm her with hot drinks while Gina chattered on with endless nagging.

And Azen… Azen would have been there, watching with a smile.

But absurdly, the world she thought so solid had shattered in a single night.

And yet—

“Nothing has changed.”

Even as her world overturned, collapsed, and crumbled into dust, Shuel remained the same.

The bakery Gina loved was still crowded with customers. Couples walked hand in hand into the shop she once visited with Retvian. Through the hospital she had funded, she glimpsed busy workers inside. The streets bustled with passersby and carriages. Children’s laughter rang out as they played.

Leaning against the carriage wall, she stared blankly through the slit at the scenes flowing past.

Even while she had stopped breathing, while she had ceased to move, the world went on without trouble.

Without her.

Without her family.

Even without her father, Duke Ruthern, lord of this land.

Even without the Ruthern Knights, guardians of this domain.

Shuel went on.

Relief flickered in her heart at this, but then the cold wind blew into the widening void inside her.

Her father had been replaced by the Grand Duke Requies’s steward.

The Ruthern Knights had been replaced by the Requies Knights.

And she…

She required no replacement.

From the beginning, she had never been needed. A needless being, born for nothing…

When she closed her eyes, someone shut the window with a firm snap. Opening them briefly, she saw Kashien closing it, then shut them again.

Noise from outside seeped faintly in, but silence lay heavy inside. Arlen sat with her eyes closed, wordless, while Kashien reclined opposite, long legs crossed, watching her with relish.

Arlen, alive.

Arlen, who occasionally opened her eyes to look at him.

Arlen, safely inside his carriage.

The sight filled him with such satisfaction that he never tired of it.

But then, the thick lace choker around her throat caught his eye and irked him.

Leaning forward, he reached toward her neck. As soon as his fingers brushed the choker, she startled, recoiling with wide, trembling eyes.

Her hand flew up to shield her neck as she gazed at him desperately.

Arlen, looking at me.

How delightful a phrase.

He rolled it again on his tongue.

Arlen, looking at me.

Yes, he would allow this much.

She was a fragile creature. If he gripped too hard, she would break. He needed to hold just tight enough to keep her from escaping—never enough to shatter her.

When he withdrew his hand with a smile, she averted her eyes again, touching her throat as though to check that the choker was still intact.

Recently Kashien, very pleased with the changes in her, had permitted Arlen short outings—always with his company, of course.

When the first outing was planned, he remembered something she had once told him as a child.

“Wasn’t there some flower hill nearby you liked? Let’s go there.”

He had hoped she might be pleased. But after a long silence, she had spoken quietly of another place.

“…The lake. I want to see the lake.”

So, when the air warmed, they went. Knights secured the area, and she was only allowed to watch from a distance. A boat ride was never considered.

The day wasn’t truly warm, and besides, he would never risk taking a woman who might fling herself into the water near the shore. Too dangerous—even if she didn’t drown, the shock of the cold water alone could endanger her frail body.

But Arlen made no attempt to approach the lake. Whether she knew of the guards’ sharp vigilance or not, she simply sat far back from the water, staring at the sunlight glimmering on the rippling surface.

That was all. Despite asking to come, she didn’t explore, didn’t move closer—just sat where they placed her until it was time to return.

He had hoped for a smile, but it never came.

Still, sitting by the water with the sun on her hair, glinting in the breeze, she had been radiant. It was a worthwhile outing after all.

Even if she never smiled. Even if her expression was ice. She was still his only color, his only light.

A few days later, Madame Foer sent word: the dress was nearly finished, and it was time for a fitting.

Naturally, Kashien intended to summon her to the castle. But Arlen quietly spoke.

“I want to go to the shop.”

So the dress shop was thoroughly searched and secured, its entrances guarded by soldiers. And there, the Grand Duke arrived with his precious charge.

The staff lined up to greet their exalted guest—the highest in Shuel, perhaps even the highest in the whole realm.

The carriage door opened, and the Grand Duke stepped down first. When Arlen appeared, he frowned and lifted her lightly down by the waist, supporting her as if by habit.

Limping inside with his aid, she suddenly realized how naturally she was accepting his arm—and gave a bitter little laugh.

So this was how it happened. She was being stained, after all. By his color. Just as he wished. Black, through and through…

The shop inside was unchanged from last year. Madame Foer smiled elegantly as she introduced the half-finished gowns, then launched into a lively explanation of accessories—hats and shoes, fur cloaks for winter, sheer shawls for spring.

“And while the young lady is trying on her dress, perhaps Your Grace might view some of these accessories? Yueri, show His Grace the items we prepared.”

It all flowed so naturally. The Grand Duke, uninterested in such trifles, stayed behind while Ana remained at his side to help choose.

Madame Foer herself guided Arlen into the fitting room, as if it were only proper.

But Arlen quickly realized it was no accident. The lady’s movements were skillful, but her intent was clear: to keep the Grand Duke’s people from following inside.

Madame Foer knows why I came here.

She had planned this from the start. Yet now that it was happening, her heart pounded wildly.

Last time, Kashien had not been there.

This time, he was right outside.

Was this truly wise?

But stopping now would look stranger.

It would be fine. All she had to do was speak briefly with Madame Foer. Nothing more. If she received another note, she could simply swallow it, as before.

But the moment she stepped inside and saw who was waiting, Arlen’s heart nearly stopped.