WTFUDLS 66

Chapter 66

It wasn’t that Noeul wanted to look good in front of Jiwoo or Hansol.

Well… he couldn’t say it was 100% not that.

But right now, it wasn’t even about looking good. He just wanted to look like a normal human being.

Good-looking people get away with having messy rooms because people call it “charm,” but the same doesn’t apply to someone unattractive. A bathroom used by a handsome guy somehow seems cleaner than a bathroom used by an unattractive one. You know what I mean.

When they were kids, girls would avoid scissors or glue that Noeul had touched, as if germs were smeared on them. If someone ran around shouting, “Noeul used this!” and held up a pencil, the kids would part left and right like the Red Sea.

Humans perceive “dirtiness” with their eyes. You can’t see bacteria or viruses, but you can see grime. To children, maybe ugliness and dirt overlapped. And adults feel the same; they just don’t say it aloud.

Anyway, that’s why Noeul’s room had to be cleaner than anyone else’s.

But it also couldn’t look like he had cleaned up meticulously just because girls were coming over. It had to be moderately tidy. Not perfectly organized, but dust-free. Even if the desk was a little messy, the bathroom had to be spotless.

Most importantly—
the smell.

Noeul’s nose was already used to the house smell. So he sniffed the air outside the window to reset his senses, then sniffed the house air again, then outside air again… repeating this.

“Sniff… sniff… Okay, maybe this is good enough.”

He had kept the windows open day and night for three days to air things out. He sprayed deodorizer in between.

If he got lazy and just sprayed cologne, the stale smell mixed with perfume might create something absolutely revolting.

Visual dirtiness is unpleasant, but olfactory dirtiness is worse. Visual dirtiness makes a spot seem dirty. But if something smells bad, the entire space feels dirty. Like the air itself contains something harmful. You want to get out immediately.

The girls probably wouldn’t open his closet, but he still hid anything embarrassing deep inside…
And then—

Noeul stopped in the middle of the room holding a box of tissues.

Where should he put it so that it looks the most natural… and not suspicious(?)…

On the bed?
No.
In front of the computer?
Definitely no.

He placed the tissues on top of his mini fridge—neutral enough.

This looks about right, he thought.

…Yet before he knew it, he’d changed the pillowcase and duvet cover too.

He briefly wondered if he needed fancy items like a rug or diffuser. But pretending he normally used such things felt too pretentious, so he skipped it.

He also tried placing two books on the desk in different configurations, then realized how pathetic that was and shoved them into a drawer.

Really. This should be enough. This was really enough.

But because he finished too early, he had nothing to do for two hours until the meeting time. And he couldn’t lie on the bed he had just neatly arranged.

So Noeul sat blankly on the floor waiting for Jiwoo and Hansol.

“…”

After a while, he chuckled bitterly.

His situation—and his relationship with Jiwoo and Hansol—felt almost comedic.

Hansol regained her old confidence and immediately went off to interact with other people.

Then, when she was nearly dragged back into the shadow of her past, Noeul swooped in to help her.

Not out of pure intention.

In truth, when Hansol stood timidly in front of her old high school friends, Noeul secretly felt a bit satisfied. He wanted her to believe she wasn’t someone who could easily mingle with lots of people—so she’d return to Noeul. Like a prodigal child who leaves home and regrets it.

Someone who knows Hansol’s past but would never reveal it.
Someone who would help her.
Someone she could rely on—the only person she could rely on.
He wanted that someone to be him.

And because of that, he hurt Jiwoo.

—She was pretty, though.

When he said that, he hadn’t really been thinking.
Well, maybe he had. He wondered if he might look kind of cool in Jiwoo’s eyes—someone who stands up for a friend, someone who resolves problems without fighting. Maybe that would appeal to her.

But it seemed Jiwoo had been hurt.

Noeul still wasn’t used to the fact that Jiwoo liked him. That his actions could upset her.

Even using the word hurt felt unfamiliar.

He kept thinking it didn’t feel real. It didn’t seem like something that could actually happen in real life.

Even if, as Hansol said, Jiwoo hung a giant banner declaring she liked him and held a press conference, Noeul still wouldn’t believe it.

Maybe that’s why—
every time he found new evidence that Jiwoo liked him, he felt happy all over again.

Even after that incident, when Jiwoo seemed down for days. Even when she got irritated at him in the café over nothing, Noeul felt overjoyed.

The more upset Jiwoo was, the happier he became.

He didn’t endure her annoyance. He didn’t hold back anger.
He simply didn’t feel angry at all.

How petty was that?
Feeding his self-esteem off someone else’s negative emotions. Even when the person he liked was upset.

But he wanted to savor this feeling just a bit longer. When would he ever feel something like this again? Even if it turned out to be delusion, he wanted to bask in it a little more. No one could willingly stop something that sent dopamine shooting through their body.

…The truth was, none of Noeul’s feelings were pure.

Could he still call Hansol a close friend?
Could he say he liked Jiwoo?

Why were his feelings never fully sincere?
Why was his selfishness always first…?

Ding-dong.
Ding-dong.

The doorbell rang.

Jiwoo and Hansol had arrived.

He saw them every day outside, but seeing them in his home strangely made him nervous.

Noeul opened the door with a neutral expression.

The moment they entered, each of them said one thing:

“Hi~ Wow, your place is nice.”

“Ooh, why is it so clean? Did you clean because we’re coming?”

Noeul answered casually,

“Just tidied up a bit. Why would I clean just because you guys are coming.”

“Wow, it’s cleaner than my room.”

Noeul gave an awkward smile.

He wanted to act natural, but it wasn’t easy. The whole scene felt strange.

Partly because his relationship with Jiwoo and Hansol wasn’t stable right now. But more than that—it was weird having two pretty girls in his room.

Their voices filling the space.
Their scent spreading through the room…

But it seemed Noeul was the only one feeling awkward.

Jiwoo and Hansol sat naturally on the bed and the floor like it was their own house. Meanwhile, Noeul stood around like he was the guest.

Suddenly remembering something, Noeul moved quickly.

He unfolded a small table and brought out his portable gas stove.

Time to prepare the drinks and food.

He was relieved to have something to do.

“Are we eating right away?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“I’m hungry.”

Noeul transferred the pre-packaged stew he bought earlier into a pot.

Jiwoo and Hansol took out the alcohol they bought at the convenience store.

As the stew began heating, Jiwoo said:

“This is nicer than getting delivery.”

“Right? Guess who thought of it. Someone’s so clever.”

Hansol patted her own head.

Noeul and Jiwoo giggled.

On the surface, everything seemed fine and cheerful. But all three of them carried something unsaid.

Even though they were supposed to be closest friends, even though they were sitting together in this small room, their hearts felt far apart.

Jiwoo stood up.

“I’m gonna use the bathroom.”

When she went in, Hansol scooted up right next to Noeul.

Noeul leaned back slightly.
“…What?”

Hansol put a finger to her lips, signaling for silence.

Then whispered:

“You need to properly cheer Jiwoo up today.”

“…Jiwoo’s mood?”

“Yeah. She’s been down for days because of me.”

Of course. Hansol must’ve been worried about that. That’s probably why she suggested hanging out at Noeul’s.

Was she just staying close to Noeul and Jiwoo out of guilt? After fixing the mess she caused, would she drift away from Noeul again?

Or had she fully returned to him, realizing no friend was better than Noeul?

Either way, Noeul felt resentful.

Could he ever like Hansol the same way again? She was someone who could leave him at any moment. Could he trust her fully again?

With a cooler tone, he said:

“Why are you blaming yourself? Hanging out today will take care of it.”

“Don’t be so careless. Just pretend I’m not here and focus on cheering Jiwoo up.”

“…Okay.”

“Hey, don’t just answer half-heartedly. Order more side dishes Jiwoo likes. Compliment her. Just… cater to her, whatever it is.”

“Are we comforting a first grader?”

“People are all grown-up on the outside and kids on the inside.”

“Fine, fine.”

“Do it for me, okay? Otherwise I’ll feel too uncomfortable. I won’t be able to sleep.”

She cared this much about Jiwoo’s feelings.
But how had she left Noeul so coldly back then?
Did she never consider how he felt?

…Was Noeul really not that important to her…?

“I said okay.”

Hearing the bathroom door, Hansol quickly returned to her spot.

Jiwoo came out, noticing nothing, and sat down.

The stew was now bubbling.

Hansol gave Noeul a signal.

Noeul ladled stew into a bowl and placed it in front of Jiwoo.

Hansol filled Jiwoo’s glass dramatically.

“Here you go~ Your drink, madam.”

Jiwoo seemed to realize what they were doing.

“…What’s this? Why are you guys acting like this?”

“What do you mean? We’re doing it because our Jiwoo is pretty.”

Noeul wasn’t sure if this was the right way to comfort her. But at least he wanted to show they were trying.

So he joined Hansol.

“Eat a lot. They say this stew is really good for your skin.”

“Hey, Jiwoo’s skin can’t get any better. If it gets any more radiant, we’re doomed. Can the world have two suns?”

“Oh dear, my mistake. How could I be so thoughtless.”

“That’s why you fail at life. Jiwoo, eat a lot. Stew doesn’t make you gain weight.”

“Right. There’s nothing fattening in here. Just protein from the meat.”

“Exactly.”

“These bean sprouts—dietary fiber. Hmm? All comes out as poop.”

“It’s mung bean sprouts, idiot.”

“Right, mung bean sprouts. Anyway—they all come out as poop.”

“Where do you get the confidence to say ‘poop poop’ like that?”

“…Anyway, the mushrooms, the pumpkin—not a single calorie sticks to your body.”

“It’s basically a salad.”

“Yeah, a soup salad.”

“So eat up, okay? Our best friend Jiwoo.”

“Mega best friend.”

Noeul and Hansol kept bouncing jokes back and forth.

Jiwoo snickered.

Her mood seemed fine now.

But she still spoke in a purposely sulky voice:

“You think doing all this will, hmm? Make me forgive you? You think I’m that easy?”

“Hmm… yeah, kinda?”

“…You little brats… I hate smart people. Okay, both of you—give me your glasses.”

Jiwoo poured them drinks.

“Cheers. Cheers.”

The three clinked their glasses.

After that, everything was like usual—nonsense talk, casual drinking.

It was all good.

Everyone was laughing, just like before.

So… was this enough? Could things just go back like this?

He knew not everything was resolved. He knew all three still had residue in their hearts.

But he didn’t know what more to do. Or what better way there could be.

Maybe this was the best they could do for now.

Maybe with time, the leftover feelings would settle. Maybe later, when each person could look at their own heart more calmly, they would have the chance to speak honestly.

So for now—
this would be enough.