🔊 TTS Settings
Chapter 67
“Lady Ji-woo, does the food suit your taste?”
Noeul spoke in a sageuk drama tone.
Ji-woo giggled. After a few drinks, she seemed to laugh even more easily.
“Yes. It’s quite good. Did Lady Han make it?”
“Yes, indeed, Your Ladyship.”
Hansol stirred the hotpot once with a ladle.
As she was adding meat and vegetables onto their plates, Ji-woo said,
“Oh, there are eggs in here too.”
There were boiled eggs inside the pot.
Ji-woo cleared her throat in an exaggerated way and asked,
“May I… eat that egg?”
Noeul replied,
“Of course you may! You absolutely must. Please, go ahead.”
“…You’re not being sarcastic, right?”
“What are you saying, Your Ladyship?”
Noeul turned to Hansol.
“Quickly, present the tribute dish to Her Highness.”
Wanting to match the mood, Hansol scooped the egg into Ji-woo’s bowl.
“Here you are, Lady.”
“Thank you, dear.”
Ji-woo nodded with satisfaction. Then, with a suddenly curious face, she asked,
“But… what’s a tribute dish?”
“…You really didn’t learn about tribute items in high school history…?”
Noeul was about to scold her but suddenly realized it and changed to a gentle tone.
“I used a difficult word for no reason. Please forgive me.”
“Snfff… You were definitely about to nag me.”
“Oh, not at all. Just your imagination, Your Ladyship.”
“Oh-ho. Are you looking down on me?”
“Heavens, what nonsense!”
“Hmph. I am offended. Hmph!”
Ji-woo dropped her spoon and buried her face in her knees.
Noeul moved next to her and gently shook her shoulder.
“Your Majesty~ I was wrong. Please spare me~ Just have one more bite. The hotpot is getting cold.”
Hansol also felt awkward sitting alone and moved to Ji-woo’s side.
Patting her shoulder, she said,
“Come on, let’s eat. Ji-woo, let’s eat.”
Ji-woo shook her head, acting sulky.
Hansol quietly patted her shoulder.
In truth, Hansol had been feeling strange for a while now. Tired, maybe. Or bored. She just wanted to go home.
How much longer do I have to babysit this princess…?
She felt she needed to help soothe Ji-woo’s mood for Noeul’s sake. Noeul wasn’t the type to actively comfort Ji-woo. If they ended up drifting apart, Hansol would feel terrible.
She also hated the idea of Noeul resenting her someday. Hated the idea of Noeul thinking Hansol was a burden.
At this point, it felt less like doing it for Noeul and more like doing it for herself.
— You have to make sure Ji-woo feels better today.
— Pretend I’m not here and focus on cheering up Ji-woo.
— Match everything to Ji-woo.
That’s why she had said all that to Noeul.
Noeul followed Hansol’s advice and matched Ji-woo’s mood. Ji-woo, seeing both Noeul and Hansol trying, quickly softened. Everything unfolded just as Hansol intended.
But strangely, her mood kept sinking. Even as she thought, I should comfort her, I should go along with her, bursts of irritation flickered in her chest—like static between radio frequencies.
Maybe it was the alcohol, but the irritation felt sharper.
She felt a sudden urge to shout, “Enough already!” at Ji-woo.
She had to clamp her mouth shut to suppress the impulse—nothing good would come out if she spoke.
Maybe she should stop drinking. If she got any more drunk, her real feelings might come out.
Of course, Ji-woo hadn’t done anything wrong.
Ji-woo liked Noeul. Anyone would feel bad hearing the guy they liked say some other girl looked pretty in a graduation photo.
And learning your friends hung out without you—anyone would feel hurt. It’s like realizing there’s a group chat that includes everyone except you. It feels like betrayal—sad, lonely.
Hansol understood because she had lived through that her whole life.
That’s why she pushed to visit Noeul’s home and told Noeul not to worry about her.
But people are funny. These thoughts suddenly crept up:
I didn’t do that.
If it were me, I would’ve held it in.
When she was in high school, this kind of thing was her everyday life. Real friends who genuinely liked her—fair, equal friendships—those were rare. She never expected them. Just being allowed to sit with the group felt like something to be grateful for.
Wishing someone liked her as much as everyone else… knowing they didn’t… wishing they’d at least feel sorry when they slipped up… wishing they’d try to understand her feelings…
That was too much for Hansol to expect.
So she pretended not to know. Pretended not to notice when the others hung out without her. Pretended not to notice the fake kindness, the subtle disregard, the snickering behind her back about her being ugly and fat.
She just smiled. Like a clueless idiot.
Not because she was kind. It was survival. Instinctively, she knew that if she ever said, How could you hang out without me? How could you talk behind my back? she’d be kicked out of the group instantly.
She spent most of her school years like that, so she understood Ji-woo’s feelings very well.
But at the same time…
Why could she endure it and Ji-woo couldn’t?
It felt like someone who had been stabbed with a knife watching someone cry over a paper cut—while the whole town rushed over to comfort them.
You know paper cuts hurt. You do sympathize.
But honestly…
You want to say: Stop being dramatic.
Hansol’s heart had been left full of scars for so long. So why did even the smallest scratch on Ji-woo’s heart require everyone’s attention? Why was it so unfair? What made Ji-woo so different from Hansol? Was it because Hansol was fat and ugly? Because Ji-woo had been born pretty?
“….”
The alcohol hit her.
She felt dizzy.
A silly laugh escaped her.
She knew the truth: Hansol had just been unlucky. Unlucky she wasn’t born pretty. Unlucky she didn’t meet good friends. She had a sad childhood, but it was all in the past. Thinking about it now only hurt herself.
If she was going to feel this way, she shouldn’t have volunteered to comfort Ji-woo. She could’ve just stayed quiet. Why pretend to be nice—
“Uwaaah~ This is sooo cute~!”
Ji-woo’s voice snapped her out of it.
When Hansol looked up, Ji-woo was holding a rabbit plush keychain.
Noeul said,
“Hey, that’s expensive.”
“How much?”
“Eighty thousand won.”
“Heh? Why is it so expensive?”
“I won it with Hyunsoo at a claw machine after drinking. Once we spent over fifty thousand, we couldn’t stop until we got it.”
“You idiots…”
“You want it?”
“Really? It’s worth eighty thousand!”
“But after we got it, neither of us wanted it, so we played rock–paper–scissors and the loser had to take it.”
Ji-woo burst out laughing.
“What is that? Why did you even try to win it then?”
“That’s why guys are all just big kids.”
The rabbit plush was adorable—white and fluffy, with pink cheeks and black eyes. It looked like something that had grown up never knowing sadness.
Hansol thought it resembled Ji-woo.
It was just a random thought. She didn’t even want it.
But then, a strange sentence slipped out of her mouth.
“I like rabbits too.”
Noeul looked at Hansol. His mouth opened slightly, like he didn’t know what to say.
Hansol quickly added,
“It would suit Ji-woo really well.”
Hansol tossed her phone beside her pillow. She played some games, browsed YouTube, scrolled through social media—nothing was fun.
She thought she should’ve developed a hobby. Then time would pass faster. Her mind wouldn’t get cluttered with random thoughts.
She changed position, lying on her side.
She could read. Or watch a movie. Or go for a walk—the weather was good. Or call someone and drink.
There were plenty of things to do… but she didn’t feel like doing any of them.
Were Noeul and Ji-woo having fun?
The weather was nice; they said they were drinking beer outside the convenience store.
Cool breeze, warm air… young, liking each other… good vibes… drinks… buzz… excitement…
How fluttery it must be for them. How nice a moment.
Hansol stretched her arm up and grabbed her phone.
She opened their group chat.
The last time she talked to Noeul was the day they visited his house. In the group chat. The last message was him asking her to bring alcohol.
Her last private chat with Noeul was even further back.
Hansol deliberately avoided messaging him. Constant private chatting with a guy friend made things weird. Ji-woo wouldn’t like it.
She didn’t want to become that female friend who interferes with romance.
But even if she had reasons not to message him… why didn’t he message her?
Well, he was with Ji-woo. Why would he think of Hansol?
She threw her phone away again, farther this time.
— “You don’t tease classmates about looks, right? That’s rude unless you’re close.”
A laugh slipped out.
Junhee’s expression back then—it was priceless. Eyes shaking, wanting to clap back but unable because everything Hansol said was true. Taewoo standing clueless beside him…
— “I thought you were pretty.”
Her smile slowly faded.
— “I thought you were pretty.”
By now her heart should’ve stopped fluttering.
She thought about it so many times, yet her heart still raced.
She kept replaying that memory like an old scholar sneaking peeks at erotic paintings—secretly, repeatedly.
She thought maybe it’d be better if Noeul and Ji-woo just started dating already.
Then she wouldn’t have to avoid him. She could see him more comfortably. Ji-woo as his girlfriend. Hansol as his best friend. Clear roles—much easier.
Bzz—
Bzz—
Her phone vibrated.
Who would call her? She didn’t expect anyone.
She stretched her arm—but the phone was too far.
“Ugh… seriously.”
She got up and grabbed it.
[ Noeul ]
When the vibration started, she instinctively thought Is it Noeul? but dismissed it immediately. Why would he call when he was with Ji-woo?
But it was Noeul.
Why was he calling?
Should she answer?
Would she be interrupting him and Ji-woo?
Even as she wondered, her finger moved toward the answer button.
She wasn’t the one who called—he did. Answering should be fine. They weren’t cutting ties.
“…Hello?”
[ What are you doing. ]
“Oh, I…”
She suddenly remembered she had lied earlier about meeting friends.
“I’m with friends.”
[ It’s really quiet. ]
“Huh?”
[ It’s really quiet where you are. ]
“Oh… I stepped out to a quiet place to take your call.”
[ I see… I can’t talk long. ]
“Oh… right… You’re with Ji-woo now, right?”
[ We broke up early. I have things to do. ]
“Ah…”
Relief and joy bloomed inside her.
[ Hey. ]
“Yeah?”
[ … ]
“…Hello?”
[ …Why don’t you hang out with me anymore. ]
“……”
It felt like a hammer struck her chest.
…Was he hurt?
Or was he just saying it casually?
He hesitated—and that meant it wasn’t casual.
She thought he wouldn’t think about her while hanging out with Ji-woo. But maybe he did feel lonely without her.
She would too—no matter how much she liked someone, Noeul’s absence would leave a gap. He was Noeul. No one else could replace him.
Maybe… he’d been waiting to say this.
Why are you avoiding me? I’m sad. I like hanging out with you. I get bored without you. Even when I’m with Ji-woo… I still need you…
It felt like that.
What should she say? Should she brush it off? Say she was busy? Pretend not to know what he meant?
“…Well… I’ve been busy…”
[ Really? …Busy with what? ]
“Busy. Classes… and… other stuff…”
Why was she lying so obviously? She could’ve done it naturally. She was capable of lying flawlessly.
But she was letting it show.
She wanted Noeul to notice she was lying.
[ I see… ]
Noeul sounded disappointed. Hurt that Hansol had avoided him. Was this worth hurting him over? Wasn’t she doing all this for him? But if avoiding him made him sad… should she continue?
“…Actually… I wanted to give you and Ji-woo time alone. I felt like I was in the way. Like you two would’ve become closer if I wasn’t there.”
[ …So you avoided me on purpose? ]
“Yeah… You saw how Ji-woo got upset earlier. Because you came to my house. …Even if we’re just friends, she’d still be bothered. She might feel like you and I are closer.”
[ Hey, if things are meant to work out, they will, whether you’re there or not. Geez… I never realized. ]
“No, you don’t get it.”
[ You avoiding me makes things more awkward between me and Ji-woo. Stop worrying and hang out with us like you used to. ]
And then Hansol realized—
Ah… this is what I wanted to hear. That’s why I wanted to tell the truth.
“…Is that really okay…?”
