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Chapter 31
When she suddenly fell silent and he glanced sideways, Muchelli cleared his throat awkwardly.
Whether he did or not, Schwen continued walking ahead.
“I said I’d just hold your hand, that’s all.”
Muchelli trailing behind her was, frankly, extremely annoying.
Unable to hold it in any longer, Schwen turned back to face him.
“I am the Grand Duchess. Please mind your manners.”
If she were simply Schwen Berk, Muchelli’s lack of courtesy wouldn’t give her much ground to complain.
But as Titiana von Lutenia, the situation was different.
If Muchelli treated her carelessly, gossip would spread even among the servants.
She didn’t want things to get complicated in any way.
“This is just how I am. I never learned proper manners, so I’m crude. Even His Highness talks to me casually—what’s the problem?”
“I am the Grand Duchess of Rained—”
“I know, I know. Do you think I’m acting like this because I don’t know?”
It felt like talking to a wall. Schwen decided to ignore him altogether.
Just as she was about to open the door to Esselian’s room, pointedly disregarding Muchelli—
The door opened from the inside.
“…Ronnie? Why are you—”
The person who emerged from Esselian’s room was Ronnie. Ronnie hadn’t expected to run into her either.
He froze reflexively, then soon gave a brief bow.
“Your Highness. I hope you are well.”
“……”
Schwen looked at Ronnie’s swollen face and the bundle he was carrying. So he’d come to say goodbye.
As soon as Schwen left the storeroom, she’d sought out the butler.
It was cowardly, but in Esselian’s guise she’d told him to give Ronnie money and a letter of recommendation.
The recommendation technically fell under the Grand Duchess’s authority, but she’d brushed it off by saying the Grand Duchess was unwell.
From Esselian’s perspective, Ronnie’s final visit must have been bewildering.
But even if Esselian found the situation strange, he wouldn’t stop Ronnie from leaving.
He was the type who neither blocked those who came nor held back those who left.
‘Ronnie must have been hurt quite badly too. Maybe that’s why he only said goodbye briefly.’
It would be best if Esselian never found out she’d impersonated him—but if he did, she planned to tell the truth.
Schwen had authority over internal affairs.
If she’d wanted to dismiss Ronnie, there’d been no need to impersonate Esselian.
If it came to it, she intended to explain by bringing up the recipe Ronnie had given her and the teacup incident—why she’d had no choice.
‘And if he doesn’t believe me…’
She would make a deal.
Schwen was willing to give him what he wanted in exchange for him overlooking this incident.
Just not sleeping together.
Maybe hugging twice a day… something like that.
“Ronnie, I heard you’re leaving.”
Schwen spoke as though she didn’t know.
“Yes.”
That was all Ronnie said before trying to pass her by without another glance.
Then, as if something suddenly occurred to him, he turned back and smiled cryptically.
“Your Highness, do you know this?”
“Hm?”
Schwen looked at him, her hand still on the doorknob. Ronnie took a deep breath, as if holding back tears.
Muchelli, now an unintentional spectator, watched silently.
“Do you know what His Grace fears the most?”
What Esselian feared most?
…His madness?
“I do.”
Ronnie let out a hollow laugh. There was venom in the twist of his lips.
“No, you don’t. Your Highness doesn’t.”
…Then why ask?
Did he just want to hear her say she didn’t know?
“You’ll probably find out soon. Or maybe… you never will.”
Schwen frowned, displeased.
“You’re the one who doesn’t know something.”
Childish. So childish.
Still, it left a bad taste in her mouth.
Being disliked couldn’t be helped—Ronnie loved Esselian, after all—but it didn’t make it feel any better.
Swallowing the countless words rising inside her, Schwen forced a smile.
“Goodbye, Ronnie.”
She didn’t want a mudslinging fight. She wasn’t interested in petty bickering either.
And above all, she couldn’t afford to provoke Ronnie further.
“…What is it that I don’t know?”
What Ronnie didn’t know?
There were many things.
That Schwen wasn’t a real princess. That Esselian was terrible at marksmanship. And the method for treating Esselian’s madness.
But Schwen said nothing.
‘Nothing is harder to endure than unresolved curiosity…’
It was her small, petty revenge against someone who hated her.
Later
‘He should be back in his room by now, right?’
Schwen passed the time idly, stroking the rabbit’s back.
After meeting Ronnie, she’d knocked on Esselian’s door—but no matter how long she waited, there was no response.
After several tries, she realized there was no one inside.
Why had Ronnie entered an empty room in the first place?
She wanted to ask, but couldn’t.
By the time she realized the truth, Ronnie had already left the Grand Duke’s estate.
The castle was so well soundproofed that Schwen couldn’t tell whether Esselian had gone into the neighboring room or not.
Stars had risen in the dusk-colored sky—he must be back by now.
‘Alright. I’ll try again.’
Schwen adjusted the tray in her hands.
The tea had gone cold, but it couldn’t be helped.
She needed to conserve the medicine as much as possible.
Muchelli had also returned to his room.
To get rid of the persistently annoying Muchelli, Schwen had taken a risky gamble.
“I’m going to spend a passionate night with His Grace.”
She hadn’t expected that to work.
“I should’ve said that sooner.”
Feeling lighter, Schwen knocked on Esselian’s door.
“Your Grace.”
Knock, knock.
“Your Grace, are you inside?”
Still not back?
‘Then that’s that. I’ll pass again today.’
She was exhausted anyway.
Schwen turned away without hesitation.
Then—
A loud bang sounded from inside, as if something had slammed into the door.
The door rattled violently, as though it might break.
But the solid door endured whatever was crashing against it.
“What…?”
Something was inside.
But she didn’t have the courage to find out what.
“Is anyone in—!”
She hurriedly tried to call for a servant.
At that moment, the door opened.
Fear and relief collided.
“…Your Grace?”
The person who opened the door was its owner.
Schwen stared at Esselian’s wet face in disbelief.
His red eyes were unfocused, as though he were staring at an illusion.
She could only hold his gaze for a few seconds.
The teacup slipped from her hand and clattered across the floor.
The sharp crash screamed danger.
She couldn’t stop her body from being dragged forward.
“Ugh…!”
In an instant, Schwen was pulled into the room. The door slammed shut behind her.
She was thrown to the floor.
Her back and head throbbed with pain.
Esselian loomed over her threateningly.
Panic surged.
Schwen scrambled up and stumbled backward.
“W-why are you suddenly doing this…?”
Something was wrong with him.
The way he was crying, muttering words she couldn’t understand.
‘Is it because of the madness…?’
Was it because she hadn’t given him the medicine in time?
In the original story—what happened then?
Back then, things were different.
Titiana had been there.
Now, she wasn’t.
That difference was immeasurable.
Her wrist was seized, and she was shoved until her back hit the wall.
It hurt. So much her eyes watered.
“Ugh…”
She gasped as the hand gripping her neck tightened.
Esselian’s eyes were bloodshot.
He was looking at something.
But it wasn’t her.
She knew it instinctively.
He was seeing something else—someone else.
“Your Grace… please… let go of this…”
Fear crept up from her toes.
With his face inches from hers, he snarled,
“Disgusting medicine.”
“P-please, talk—j-just put this down—”
“More disgusting than that… is me.”
With trembling hands, Schwen grabbed the wrist choking her.
“What meaning is there in living like a parasite off you? I—filthy blood that can’t survive without leeching onto others…”
The grip on her throat slowly tightened, heavy with emotion.
‘I need to give him the medicine. Now.’
A little more pressure and she wouldn’t be able to breathe.
She frantically searched her pockets.
It wasn’t there.
No medicine.
Why?
Then she realized—she’d left it in her room.
Her vision went white.
At that moment—
The hand around her throat loosened.
“In the end, I’ll kill you.”
“……”
“Just like my father killed my mother…”
What?
“If I’m going to kill you someday… then I might as well now—”
Esselian was terrifying as he spoke.
Yet somehow, he also looked unbearably sad.
Maybe because he was crying.
Continued
Schwen didn’t miss the moment his grip slackened.
Summoning all her strength, she shoved his shoulder hard.
Of course, Esselian didn’t budge an inch.
But he no longer pressed her like before.
It was as if she had vanished from his sight entirely.
He stared only at empty air.
“Right now…”
“Y-Your Grace, I think you need to calm down first…”
Pressed flat against the wall, Schwen carefully slid one foot sideways.
Step.
‘Is this… okay?’
Bracing both hands against the wall, she watched his face carefully.
His unfocused red eyes still looked sad.
His hand dropped limply to his side.
‘Now!’
Schwen slid her other foot away, inching farther from him.
Esselian didn’t try to stop her.
“I will never become like you…”
When that self-mocking murmur escaped him, Schwen froze in place.
