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Chapter 05
Elfwin was destined to die in childbirth.
But if not for the childbirth itself, she probably would have lived to around twenty-nine on average.
Money was useless once you were dead anyway, so I wanted to take it all in advance this time and spend it on the five months fate had given me.
Money couldn’t buy health itself.
But money could at least buy an environment for a healthy life.
And I needed enough health to shatter the death rushing toward me, which meant I needed a lot of money.
‘I’m the Duchess of Wiltson!’
I lifted my chin proudly in my mind.
If I was the Duchess of Wiltson, then I should be able to confidently demand at least this much from Duke Zekron Wiltson, the greatest man in the empire in both wealth and political power.
At least, that was what I believed.
After finishing the speech I had rehearsed beforehand, I cautiously watched Zekron’s reaction.
He looked like he was barely suppressing his anger.
His face flushed red and blue like a volcano on the verge of eruption, and it almost seemed as though hot steam was puffing out of every pore.
Gulp.
I swallowed dryly, trying hard to shake off the feeling that I was a criminal awaiting sentencing.
“And what exactly are you planning to spend all that money on?”
At last, a sharp voice escaped his lips.
It was a voice honed enough to carve flesh from bone.
I grabbed onto the courage threatening to slip through my fingers and took a deep breath.
“I’m going to use it for my health. My body is weak, you know? If I could buy health itself, that would be wonderful, but that’s impossible… so I want to try anything I can instead. And that’s going to require a lot of money.”
“Why are you suddenly so concerned about your health?”
“You’re asking because you really don’t know?”
“……”
Well, of course he wouldn’t know.
He was a Sword Master.
A man with a body that could practically be considered the pinnacle of humanity.
I spoke calmly.
“Because I want to live, obviously. The physician told me this. The chance that both the baby and I survive the childbirth is only about fifty-six percent.”
Zekron’s eyes widened slightly.
He looked shocked by how low the number was.
Which was understandable.
Even I had been startled when I first heard the number fifty-six percent.
“It barely exceeds half. I want to be within that fifty-six percent.”
“Hmm… I didn’t realize childbirth was such a dangerous thing for women.”
Huh?
Zekron’s voice had softened.
So had his gaze.
The sharp edge in his eyes was gone.
He was actually listening to me. Actually understanding.
Was my plan really working?
Just how much money would eight years’ worth of allowance be?
Warm, fluffy fantasies bloomed in my head, and the corners of my lips kept twitching upward.
“But there will be no advance payment.”
“Thank— …Excuse me? What did you say?”
I doubted my ears.
I thought you were generous about advances!
You were shocked by how dangerous childbirth was!
Then why won’t you give it to me?!
Too many thoughts flooded my mind at once.
Unable to voice them all, I could only flap my mouth like a goldfish.
Meanwhile, he looked at me calmly.
Ugh!
No matter the era, no matter the class system, no matter the relationship between people, those who possessed money always looked relaxed and composed.
Those without money always ended up anxious and pitiful.
‘Damn capitalism! Damn materialism!’
The curses came naturally.
Only in my head, of course.
“Let’s do this instead. Even though you already received an advance last month, I’ll still give you this month’s allowance.”
“……”
“But this is the last advance. There won’t ever be another one. Even if you beg. From now on, you’ll receive only the fixed amount every month.”
Tch, what kind of deal was that?
My lips puffed out in dissatisfaction.
“However, I am genuinely concerned about your health as well. So if there are additional expenses necessary for your health, I’ll provide money for them each time.”
In other words, if I wanted to spend extra money, I’d have to get his permission every single time.
“Anything?”
“Yes. Anything, as long as it isn’t absurd.”
“And who decides whether it’s absurd or not?”
So in the end, he planned to judge everything according to his own standards, didn’t he?
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“I will. Based on common sense.”
“Of course you will.”
All my energy drained away.
“If you don’t want to give it to me, you could just say so instead of pretending to be generous and rejecting everything later.”
Did he think I couldn’t see right through him? Hmph!
He used to be one of my favorite characters. Who knew I’d end up seeing him as such a jerk?
“You’ll see for yourself whether I reject your requests or not. I sincerely hope you deliver the child safely and remain healthy.”
‘Huh?’
Was he… worrying about me right now?
What was this, a cat worrying about a mouse?
That cold, indifferent husband of mine?
Could a character really change this abruptly?
Thump, thump.
My heart beat softly.
“At the very least, you succeeded in securing this month’s allowance. If you have nothing more to say, then please leave. I’m busy.”
Zekron’s gaze returned to the documents on his desk.
Right. Of course.
No character changed that easily.
I stood from my seat.
“Thank you for today’s allowance. And please continue to take care of me in the future. Then, have a productive day.”
I gave a formal farewell while internally babbling the words I truly wanted to say.
‘I just hope your idea of common sense and mine aren’t too different. Hmph!’
Zekron raised his head slightly, looking surprised.
Our eyes met in the air.
Gah… surely I hadn’t accidentally spoken my inner thoughts aloud?
My heart dropped.
Financial power dynamics really did make people timid and pathetic.
But judging by the fact that Zekron didn’t look angry, it seemed my thoughts had stayed where they belonged.
Then… was he surprised because I thanked him?
Had Elfwin never even properly said goodbye before leaving?
‘Good grief, Elfwin… tsk.’
I gave a light bow and left the office.
Thump-thump-thump.
Today, my heart—which I usually never even noticed—kept making its presence known.
After Elfwin left, Zekron turned his attention back to the documents, but he couldn’t focus.
“Thank you for today’s allowance. And please continue to take care of me in the future. Then, have a productive day.”
The words she had said before leaving his office kept echoing in his ears.
‘Had Elfwin ever thanked me that politely before?’
No.
Zekron shook his head.
She had thanked him before without sincerity, or in a mocking tone, but she had never properly expressed gratitude after finishing her business like this.
‘Had Elfwin ever told me to take care of her before?’
No.
She had always accepted everything she enjoyed as though it were only natural.
And if something was natural, then there was no need to say thank you or ask for continued favor.
Just like most nobles born with status and wealth.
The only beings they ever truly thanked were their parents and the gods.
‘But… gratitude? Asking for my favor?’
Ha… seriously.
He pulled his gaze from the documents, rubbed his face with both hands, and leaned back in his chair.
“Maybe it’s severe amnesia. Maybe I lost not only my memories, but my personality too.”
That was what Elfwin had said in the dining room.
Immediately after leaving the dining hall, Zekron had summoned the physician and asked about her condition.
And the physician had said something similar.
“It’s not uncommon for severe amnesia to alter a person’s personality.”
“Can it be treated? Is it possible her memories may never return?”
Matthew let out a small sigh and adjusted his glasses before replying.
“That depends entirely on the patient’s will. If the patient wishes to recover their memories and actively tries to do so, the memories may gradually return.”
“The patient’s will…”
“Yes. On the other hand, if the patient feels no attachment to their memories and has no desire to regain them, it will be difficult. In the short term, it is a problem of the brain. But in the long term, it ultimately becomes a matter of the heart.”
Elfwin had always been selfish.
Zekron had never asked much from his wife.
He only wanted her to fulfill her role as Duchess properly.
That alone would have been enough.
But she had struggled especially hard with even that single role.
“Have you ever even thought of me as your wife? Have you ever treated me like a person?! I should never have desired Wiltson, or the title of Duchess, or a place beside you!”
On their final day in the capital, Elfwin had screamed those words at him.
When he saw tears gathering in the eyes glaring at him, Zekron had been deeply flustered.
“…Elfwin.”
“Go away! Just leave! It’s all ruined now! I wish none of this had ever happened! I wish everything would just disappear!”
He had wanted to wipe away her tears, but she refused.
There had been no hesitation in the force with which she shoved him away.
So he had turned and left.
And now, Zekron regretted that choice.
“…A matter of the heart.”
He wondered if things might have been different had he not left Elfwin alone that day.
Their marriage had been political, but she was still his wife. Still his person.
There had never been love between them, but perhaps, with enough time, things might have slowly changed.
Like they did for everyone else.
Zekron abruptly rose from his seat.
There was still work piled up before him, but there was no point staying seated when he couldn’t concentrate anyway.
Thoughts of Elfwin kept stirring through his mind.
At times like this, it was better to move his body instead.
He set aside his work and headed for the training grounds.
I ate dinner in the dining hall as well.
After informing the maids that I would be taking all my meals there from now on, they had prepared everything perfectly.
The table was filled with a balanced assortment of meat, bread, and vegetables.
I originally had quite a hearty appetite.
I couldn’t stand being hungry.
In my previous life, I wasn’t exactly “fat,” but I was definitely “chubby.”
Well, at least from my perspective.
Ahem!
But now, despite being pregnant, Elfwin’s body was incredibly thin.
When I saw the stomach of a woman five months pregnant looking flatter than my old stomach from my previous life, I felt both pity and envy at the same time.
And unfortunately, this body’s stomach couldn’t keep up with my appetite.
The sight of the food made me drool, but the amount I could actually eat was very small.
Even forcing myself, I could barely manage half.
‘I’ll have to steadily increase my stomach capacity too.’
I resolved firmly to myself.
The duke’s chef was an exceptional cook, and it pained me that I couldn’t eat more of this delicious food.
After dinner, I rested in the private sitting room connected to my bedroom, sipping herbal tea, when I remembered something Zekron had said earlier that day.
“I sincerely hope you deliver the child safely and remain healthy.”
Whenever he looked at me, he usually frowned, deep creases forming between his brows.
But when he wished for my safe delivery, his expression had been so gentle that for a moment, I wondered if he was even the same person.
‘This is why facial expressions matter.’
I took another sip of warm herbal tea and thought quietly.
Thump-thump.
Once again, my heart softly announced its presence.
It was a warm, fluttering kind of heartbeat.
It had been so long since I’d felt something like this that the sensation itself felt strange.
Was this warmth filling my heart my emotion?
Or Elfwin’s?
I placed one hand over my chest and wondered.
‘Could it be… Elfwin actually liked Zekron?’
