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Chapter 04
“…An advance?”
“Yes. I’ve heard His Grace is actually fairly generous when it comes to allowance advances.”
“Hm… generous with advances?”
I hesitated.
It was hard to believe that cold-blooded Zekron would be generous about people spending money in advance.
And no matter how generous he supposedly was, I doubted he would willingly hand over money to someone who had argued with him so fiercely at breakfast.
‘More importantly… I don’t want to!’
The thought of facing him again made me deeply uncomfortable.
It would already be unpleasant enough to face him as equals, but meeting him in the position of someone who held the money while I was the one asking for it felt far worse.
‘Ugh… ngh…!’
A groan rose to the back of my throat.
I looked back at the dress and shoes.
The beautiful yet constricting dress and the elegant yet painfully high heels seemed to mock me.
‘Fine. It’s humiliating, but I don’t have a choice.’
There was no way I was squeezing this body into those tight clothes or balancing myself on those towering heels.
“Alright. Go tell the Duke I’m requesting an audience.”
“Huh?”
That look again.
At this point, I was used to it.
Honestly, I wished they’d start getting used to me too.
Shaking my head, I spoke.
My voice came out as a perfect mixture of sigh and speech.
“What now?”
“Well… whenever Madam originally wanted to speak with His Grace, you would simply go see him directly.”
“Haa… so I really used to live however I pleased. Without manners or any sense of financial responsibility.”
“……”
The maids’ faces twisted awkwardly, and they fidgeted nervously.
Well, anyone would react like this if they had to listen to their mistress criticize herself out loud.
I continued candidly.
“Listen, girls. I think I need to change from now on. After getting so seriously ill, I realized this isn’t the right way to live. Though admittedly, I don’t remember any of it.”
“……”
“So Kate, Judy… help me out a little. Help me live properly this time, alright?”
“You want… us to help you?”
Kate’s voice trembled slightly.
I could see moisture gathering in her eyes.
Judy looked the same.
Smiling softly, I nodded.
“Yes. Whenever I need advice, don’t hesitate to speak up. As you know, my memory isn’t in perfect condition, so I especially need the two of you to help me. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes! We will, Madam!”
“Of course, Madam!”
Their voices burst out at the same time.
Kate was nodding her head vigorously, while Judy tightly clasped her trembling hands together.
“Good. Then Kate, go see the Duke, and Judy, please look through my wardrobe and find the most comfortable clothes possible.”
As soon as I gave the order with a smile, the maids immediately sprang into action.
I stared blankly at them for a moment.
The feeling was strange.
In my previous life, I had always been the one receiving orders.
I was a student who had to complete her teacher’s assignments, a daughter who had to run errands for her mother, a younger sister who had to follow her older sister’s advice, and an employee who had to obey her team leader’s commands.
So seeing myself give orders to others still felt unfamiliar.
‘And yet, when I gave instructions to Kate and Judy almost like I was making requests, it didn’t feel awkward at all. There was barely any sense of discomfort. That’s what’s so strange.’
Looking at it this way, it didn’t seem accurate to say the “software” was one hundred percent me while the “hardware” was one hundred percent Elfwin.
After all, I could naturally speak this world’s language and use proper speech suitable for a class-based society.
Maybe it was more like… “eighty percent me, twenty percent Elfwin.”
‘If that’s true… then maybe the body is the same way too. Eighty percent Elfwin, but twenty percent me.’
That sudden thought gave rise to a bit of hope.
Because of whatever remained of Elfwin inside my mind, I could do things I never could have done with my original self.
And because my will now existed somewhere inside this body, perhaps this body could do things the original Elfwin never could.
‘If this were simply Elfwin’s body alone, she probably would’ve died helplessly… but if it’s Elfwin’s body infused with my will… then maybe I can survive!’
I didn’t want to lose to death.
I didn’t want to submit to some fate casually written by an author.
To the author, Elfwin might have been nothing more than a disposable chess piece.
But to me, Elfwin was my life itself.
‘I’m going to live my own life. I’m going to survive!’
So borrowing allowance money from my husband was nothing to be afraid of.
I widened my eyes fiercely.
I stood in front of Zekron’s office.
Knock, knock, knock.
After knocking, I slowly opened the door.
Even though I entered, he didn’t so much as glance my way and kept his eyes fixed on the documents before him.
Stacks of paperwork covered his desk, and he looked genuinely busy.
‘Tch, seriously? Even if he’s busy, couldn’t he at least look up when someone walks in?’
For a brief moment, sparks seemed to flash in my vision as I stared at him, but I had to endure it.
I hadn’t come here to fight.
I had come to ask for a favor.
And not just any favor—a financial favor.
“Thank you for making time for me even though you’re busy.”
I sat down in the chair across from his desk.
Of course, I didn’t forget to equip myself with a perfect business smile.
“Glad you understand. Since I’m busy, get to the point.”
“Give me an advance on my allowance.”
Just as he requested, I got straight to the point.
Almost as though I had been waiting for the chance.
The moment those difficult words slipped naturally from my mouth, even I was secretly impressed.
‘Good! That sounded completely natural!’
Only then did his gaze finally leave the documents and land on me.
Judging by his expression, Zekron was not at all pleased with the “point” that had come out of my mouth.
His blue eyes narrowed sharply, and his lips parted slightly.
He looked utterly dumbfounded.
According to the maids, he was supposedly rather generous with allowance advances, but it had been my mistake not to ask exactly what level of generosity they meant.
Or perhaps he was still sulking over the tension from breakfast.
“What did you say?”
“You heard me correctly. I just asked you to advance my allowance.”
“You already took an advance last month.”
“Yes, and apparently I spent it all last month too. Though naturally, I don’t remember doing that.”
I shrugged confidently.
I felt completely justified.
Because the one who borrowed that allowance last month and spent it all wasn’t me.
Of course, to everyone else, we looked like the same person.
So naturally, my shameless attitude probably irritated him.
Zekron outright looked away.
What, he couldn’t even stand looking at me now? Tch.
“So how much do you need?”
“How long do you think I’ll live?”
“…What?”
Yes, I knew my question sounded ridiculous.
That was exactly why I wished he wouldn’t make such an openly horrified expression right in front of me.
I was embarrassed saying it too!
Zekron seemed to think I hadn’t properly heard his question.
This time, he clarified it more directly.
“I asked how much allowance you need advanced.”
“What’s the average lifespan in this world? More specifically… the average lifespan of noblewomen?”
No backing down.
I responded to his question by redirecting it completely.
Zekron seemed like the type to give up quickly.
At least when it came to conversations with an impossible wife.
He rubbed his face with both hands as he answered, and it almost sounded like a cry of despair.
“How would I know that?”
“You can roughly estimate it by thinking about the people around you.”
I responded bluntly to his exasperation.
In a tone that showed absolutely no sympathy for his suffering.
Zekron answered me not with words, but with his eyes.
‘Cut the nonsense.’
But before coming here, I had carefully planned everything I wanted to say, rehearsed it repeatedly, and scraped together every bit of courage I had, so I remained calm.
“Your grandmother, your aunts, or… other noblewomen around you.”
Furrowing his brows deeply, Zekron sank into thought.
He seemed to be searching through his memories.
“I heard my grandmother died young. So did my mother. One of my aunts as well… Come to think of it, many of the women in my family never lived past thirty.”
“What… thirty?”
That shocked me.
So many people dying in their twenties?
Weren’t wealthy nobles supposed to live long, luxurious lives?
The chaebols and politicians in South Korea certainly did.
Hm… this was disappointing.
“So what exactly does average lifespan have to do with this?”
The edge in his voice was sharp.
Like a finely honed blade.
Leaning deeply against the back of his chair, Zekron took a sip of tea.
I followed his example, lifting my own teacup to wet my throat before inhaling deeply.
This was the most important part.
The section I had practiced countless times in front of the mirror before entering this office.
“Assuming I live until twenty-nine, I want all the allowance I would receive until then advanced to me right now.”
“What?”
His jaw dropped open.
“I’m twenty-one now, so I’d like eight years’ worth of allowance. Give it to me all at once this time, and I promise I’ll never ask for another advance again. Never.”
“……”
I could see all too clearly what emotion filled those deep, ocean-like eyes.
It was contempt.
My chest hurt.
Someone was looking at me with contempt.
That someone was my husband.
And that husband happened to be the male lead from the novel I had once adored so passionately.
The whole miserable situation infuriated me.
But I still had to continue.
“And if I’m still alive after twenty-nine, then I’ll start receiving my allowance again at that point.”
His blazing stare terrified me so much that my voice trembled slightly on the final syllables.
