URL~08

Chapter~08

Hernan’s interest in pharmacology was probably still ongoing.

‘With only a limited time left because of an incurable illness, who wouldn’t be interested?’

The reason I was in Hernan’s library was simple.

Kiara had gone off to Sanna’s room to spend time with her now that she had returned.

Left with nothing to do, I wandered into the library to find something to read, only to run into Hernan.

He was leaning back against the sofa with his eyes closed.

As I found myself recalling fragments of the past at the sight of him, Hernan slowly opened his eyes just as he had back then.

This time, however, I wasn’t standing right in front of him.

I remained by the library door, quietly watching him.

“I heard you were in your office.”

“I couldn’t concentrate on work.”

“…Is it because of us?”

“Perhaps.”

‘If that’s the case, then just say so.

What do you mean, “perhaps”?’

I turned around, intending to leave.

After declaring that I’d given up on my unrequited love, being trapped together in a confined room with him felt… awkward.

It was Hernan who stopped me.

“Why are you leaving?”

“…Pardon?”

“There’s a high chance you came here to read, Fidelia.

Unless, of course, you came to see me.”

“…And?”

“Then read.

I won’t disturb you.”

With that, Hernan immersed himself in his book once more.

I stared at him in disbelief before asking,

“Disturb you?

Isn’t it the other way around?

I feel like I’m the one interrupting your reading.”

“Not at all.”

“…Right.”

“Then I won’t hold back.”

And that was how we ended up in our current situation.

Tap.

Tap.

Raindrops struck the tall windows that stretched all the way up to the high ceiling.

The downpour showed no signs of stopping.

The gloomy sky hid the sun, making midday feel like the middle of the night.

‘Am I really going to make it home today?’

My mood had sunk lower than rock bottom.

The rain hammered the earth, leaving deep dents in the muddy ground.

That ground was the perfect reflection of how I felt.

‘Of all people, why did I have to end up tangled with Hernan like this?’

“There are a surprisingly large number of pharmacology books here.”

“I was interested in it once.”

I replayed that earlier conversation in my head as I continued searching for books that looked useful.

Rare diseases.

Incurable illnesses.

Terminal conditions.

Death.

Those were the keywords I was looking for.

They also described Hernan’s current condition.

‘I mean…

In most novels, the transmigrated protagonist usually ends up saving someone who’s destined to die.

Wouldn’t it be normal for me to wonder whether I could do the same…?’

Then something caught my eye.

‘Interesting.’

‘The title passes.

Definitely the kind of title that grabs a reader’s attention!’

‘Hmm, but…’

The cover didn’t inspire much confidence.

Its childish font and decorations looked as though it belonged next to the Corvalure Dictionary (Children’s Edition).

I quietly pulled it from the shelf and skimmed through it.

I had been skeptical before opening it, but the more pages I turned, the closer my face crept toward the book.

To my surprise, it was packed with useful information.

The encyclopedia documented countless rare diseases I’d never even heard of.

Some were related to magic, fitting for a fantasy romance world.

Others were more familiar conditions, such as dwarfism.

However…

None of them matched Hernan’s symptoms.

‘Just as I expected…

Hm?’

My hand stopped turning the pages when I reached the very end of the book.

A certain paragraph caught my attention.

“…”

Slowly, my right hand drifted toward my chest, rubbing the area over my heart.

‘…No way.’

‘…No way.’

“Have you picked a book?”

My shoulders jerked in surprise.

Feeling inexplicably guilty, I hurriedly hid the book behind my back.

“Yes.

I found one.”

“Then what are you hiding?”

What was I hiding?

‘Because…

I think this book contains the name of my illness.’

“Now you’re ignoring my questions altogether.”

Ah.

Unable to meet Hernan’s eyes, I looked away.

“Sorry.

It’s just… really interesting.”

“…”

“Can I borrow this?”

Hernan stared at me for a moment before casually waving his hand.

“Do whatever you want.”

I gave a small bow and turned to leave the library.

Or rather, I tried to.

“Fidelia.”

“…Yes?”

“What if…”

Hernan fell silent before finishing his sentence.

I wondered what could possibly make him hesitate so much.

Then he finally spoke.

“What would you do… if I were to die from an illness?”

“…What?”

I frowned, doubting what I’d just heard.

‘What did he just say?

Who’s dying?

…And why is he asking me that?’

‘Don’t tell me he’s planning to reveal that he’s terminally ill.’

‘But why?

What am I to him?’

“Why would you die?”

“It’s only a hypothetical question.

Surely you don’t think I’m actually going to die?”

“Of course not.”

‘You don’t look sick at all.

Not even the slightest bit.’

“I’m asking because you said you’ve finally ended your tearful unrequited love.”

“I guess it really was tearful.”

The corners of Hernan’s lips curved upward.

It was one of those rare smiles.

What lay behind that smile?

“If I were destined to die young… would you still have loved me?”

“…”

I quietly looked at Hernan.

I couldn’t understand why he was asking me this.

Even if I lived another life after death, I still wouldn’t understand the man named Hernan.

If he were sick…

If he were terminally ill…

Would I still have loved him?

I suddenly felt like laughing at him.

But, Hernan…

“Of course.”

‘I always did.’

“…”

“Of course I would.”

‘I’ve always loved you that way.’

‘…Always.’

Do you know what it’s like to love someone who’s terminally ill?

It’s waking up every morning feeling like you’ll burst into tears just thinking about them.

It’s wanting to cry because you love them…

And wanting to cry because you know they’ll soon disappear.

It’s forcing yourself not to cry in front of them.

Back when I used to chase after Hernan, I either smiled in front of him…

Or I didn’t.

There were only those two choices.

I never cried.

No matter what anyone said, the one who was destined to die was surely suffering far more than anyone else.

How could I throw a dramatic fit beside someone like that?

To begin with, perhaps my love had never been that extraordinary.

Seeing how exhausted I’d become before finally giving up, maybe it was a love I never should have pursued in the first place.

I returned to my room and walked straight to the vanity mirror.

Undoing several buttons of my blouse, I pulled down the left side of my collar.

There, just above my heart and below my collarbone…

‘The mark.’

Ever since puberty began, it had flared up with a burning pain every so often, tormenting me whenever I’d nearly forgotten about it.

Its cycle was once every month.

‘It’s practically a period.’

And I had just discovered something unbelievable.

So this had been a mark.

Not only that—it was a disease.

‘Not a blessing from God… but an illness?’

According to the encyclopedia, it was even hereditary.

A recessive genetic disease.

The mark itself resembled a radiant geometric pattern surrounded by three circular rings like halos.

Beautiful…

Ridiculously beautiful.

Now then.

I knelt before the vanity and opened the encyclopedia once more.

There was only one possible interpretation.

‘I…

I’m terminally ill.’

“…”

‘Just like Hernan…’

‘Terminally ill…’

Then I suddenly came back to my senses.

‘That wasn’t how it happened in the original novel.’

Kiara’s adoptive parents remained alive until she reached adulthood.

They simply neglected her without paying her any attention.

There were only two possible explanations.

Either I gained this mark after reincarnating…

Or the original Fidelia had cured the disease before her time ran out.

I believed the second possibility was far more likely.

Why?

If this was truly a hereditary disease, then changing souls wouldn’t suddenly create a genetic condition.

Inheritance.

By definition, it was something passed down through DNA.

A wandering soul couldn’t alter a body’s genes.

Which meant there was a very high chance that the original Fidelia had borne this mark as well.

And there was one more reason I believed the second theory.

‘Because the original Fidelia’s profession was…’