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Chapter 43
As I slightly turned my head, the sunlight reflected off golden hair caught my eyes.
“…Viscount Blair.”
“It’s been a while, Your Highness.”
“Yes, it has.”
“My offer still stands, Princess.”
Ha… To say something like that the moment we meet again.
I barely held back a hollow laugh and turned my gaze away, staring blankly at the sky.
A familiar bird was flying overhead.
“Don’t you have work to do, Viscount Blair?”
“Do I look that way?”
“Yes. You must be free if you’re idling around here.”
“I simply wanted to see Your Highness once more.”
It was quite a romantic thing to say—words that could almost make one’s heart flutter.
“But I can’t say I particularly wanted to see you.”
“…Forgive me. I haven’t been able to give up my feelings for you.”
“That’s enough. I’m not blaming you.”
I didn’t want to stay here any longer.
I’d come to this place hoping to recall a hazy memory from the past, but it was pointless with such a distraction around.
I dusted off my skirt and stood up.
“You’ve seen me now. Is that enough?”
“Your Highness… Don’t put too much trust in Chester.”
“…Do you even realize how your words sound right now?”
I turned my body toward where Idrian stood.
His golden hair swayed lightly in the wind. Those blue eyes, filled with melancholy, perfectly fit the word “wistful.”
But that was all.
“Right now, you’re hitting on your friend’s fiancée.”
“Your Highness… it’s not as if you truly love Chester either, is it?”
At those words, my heart dropped.
My pupils trembled, and my heart raced unevenly, thudding in a restless panic.
“We’re not married yet, so… could you not give me a chance until then?”
“Viscount.”
First Chester in the past, and now this man—why do they all ask me for a chance?
“Just forget it. Or give up.”
“Do you trust Chester completely, Your Highness?”
“…If you’re trying to drive a wedge between me and him, it’s pointless.”
“Do you really believe he has no ulterior motives toward you?”
“…”
“I’ll keep the seat beside me empty. If Your Highness ever changes your mind… you’re always welcome.”
“That will never happen, Viscount.”
The wind shifted, blowing strands of hair into my vision.
I had no intention of staying here any longer, so I turned to walk down the hill.
But his next words froze me in my tracks.
“Your Highness… Chester is incapable of love.”
“…Viscount.”
“Only those who’ve received love can give it, don’t you think? I believe you know that too.”
“…”
“But Chester… he’s never truly been loved—”
“Viscount. No matter what you say, my answer won’t change.”
I quickened my pace, heading down the hill.
What puzzled me was this—how had Idrian known I’d impulsively decided to come here this morning?
It was too precise to be mere coincidence.
Even if he somehow knew this place, it was far too early in the day for him to just “happen” to be here.
“Your Highness?”
“I think it’s best we return now.”
That meant one of two things:
Either one of the Blair family’s loyal agents was embedded near me,
or my memories were distorted—and the boy I’d met in childhood had actually been Idrian.
But no, I couldn’t possibly confuse black hair with blond.
Which meant someone from the Blair household really was keeping tabs on me.
Well, it would be stranger if they weren’t. Perhaps it’s better just to know and let it be.
Even if I rooted them out, they’d plant another. No point wasting energy—
and it’s not like they’d dare harm a princess. There was nothing to gain from that.
“Nanny.”
“Yes, Your Highness?”
“…Before returning to the palace, let’s stop by a café.”
“That won’t do. His Majesty ordered that you’re only allowed one dessert per day.”
“…”
I got into the carriage but suddenly felt a deep reluctance to return to the palace.
Not that I had the courage to face Chester either.
“Let’s go to Marchioness Chloe’s estate.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“Nanny… would hot chocolate be allowed?”
“…Normally, no, but I’ll turn a blind eye just this once.”
“Really?”
“Yes. But it’s our little secret from His Majesty.”
“Thank you, Nanny!”
A smile finally spread across my lips.
It felt a bit pathetic to be so happy over a single cup of hot chocolate—
but still, the thought of something sweet lifted my spirits.
By the time I’d calmed my fluttering heart, the carriage had arrived at the Chloe estate.
As soon as I stepped down, I spotted Cecile, almost as if she’d been waiting for me.
“Cecile!”
“Yulia, welcome.”
Cecile greeted me with a bright smile and naturally led me to her room inside the mansion.
As always, being with Cecile put my heart at ease.
“Honestly, I’m sick of it. Ever since the new head of house took over, the place has been chaos.
You should see all the leeches clinging on—it’s infuriating!”
“That must be hard.”
“Duke Zikbert has been supporting us—whether it’s because we’re in the same faction or for another reason, I’m not sure.”
“Cecile, I wish you’d just marry my brother already.”
“Yulia…”
“That way your family would be stable, and we could see each other more easily.”
“You’re right. Then I could spend more time with you—and I’d finally have my first love.”
Her words made me smile unconsciously.
For the record, my head was resting on Cecile’s lap, and she was gently stroking my hair like one would a puppy.
It was a familiar comfort. I’d always been the one to act spoiled with her,
and she, in turn, would vent her worries to me.
Neither of us opened up easily to others.
Cecile’s warmth always brought me peace.
“Cecile.”
“Hmm?”
“I fought with the Duke.”
“Why?”
“Because of the nightmares… I couldn’t control my emotions.”
“Nightmares?”
“Yes. And lately, I keep having a series of connected dreams.”
She’s my friend, so maybe it’s okay to tell her.
The things I couldn’t say to anyone else—maybe I could tell Cecile.
“What kind of dreams?”
“They’re jumbled, but… I die in them.”
“…”
“And my family dies too.”
“Yulia.”
“At the hands of my fiancé.”
“It’s just a bad dream. Don’t take it seriously.”
“I thought so at first… but lately, the pain I feel in the dream—I can feel it in real life too.”
That tightening pain in my chest still lingered, vividly.
The pain I never wanted to experience again—
the freezing sensation spreading through my body, the helplessness of watching loved ones die before my eyes,
my family sacrificing themselves to save me.
They were all too vivid, too real.
And the more I dreamed, the more it felt less like a dream and more like… a memory.
Or a premonition.
“More than anything, it feels like the future… not just a dream.”
“…”
“But to call it a prophecy doesn’t quite fit either. The details are too different.”
In the dream, my brother wasn’t married. Chester didn’t love me.
If anything, I was the one madly in love with him—enough to give up everything.
“I hope it’s just nonsense… but it’s terrifying.”
“Don’t worry. A dream’s just a dream.”
“…Right?”
“Of course. There’s no way Duke Zikbert would ever harm you or your family. You’re just overthinking it.”
“Yeah… I hope so. Just a meaningless dream.”
“Yulia, would you like some hot chocolate?”
“Yes!”
Just then, a maid entered carrying cups of hot chocolate and a tray of sweets,
setting them neatly on the table beside the bed.
I sat up and took a seat.
I popped a pastry into my mouth and took a sip of hot chocolate—
its sweetness filled my mouth, warming me from within.
“I saw Viscount Blair today.”
“…What?”
“Do you remember the boy I said I met long ago?”
“Of course.”
“I saw the Viscount at the same place I met that boy. I went there on a whim this morning.”
“But you said that boy had black hair.”
“Right? So my memory isn’t wrong, right?”
“Maybe you should talk to Duke Zikbert more about it.
If we’re being logical, he’s still the most likely person you described.”
She wasn’t wrong. I had asked before—but got nothing out of him.
“I did ask him, but Chester said he’d never seen me before. So it can’t be him.”
“Hmm…”
“And besides, my memory isn’t perfect. I could barely see back then.”
“…Because of those eye drops?”
“Yeah. There might’ve been hallucinations too. But I’m sure it wasn’t Viscount Blair.”
My vision might’ve been blurry, but my hearing was fine.
“The Duke and Duchess of Blair are both alive, after all.”
“…Right.”
“At first, I told myself it couldn’t be Chester—that it mustn’t be him.
But now that I know it really isn’t… why does it make me sad?”
“Yulia, you should just do whatever your heart tells you.”
“I think… I need to know the answer, Cecile.”
It might have been the wrong moment to ask, but—
“What is love, anyway?”
“Uh… what?”
“You said you love my brother, right? Then you must know.”
“Hmm… I guess it’s when you want to see someone,
and when they’re gone, you can’t stop thinking about them?”
So… am I dreaming about Chester because I love him?
No—that can’t be. Those dreams are far too horrifying to come from love.
“Yulia, think about yourself first.”
“…Myself?”
“Yeah. Whatever your feelings are, it’s obvious to anyone that Duke Zikbert loves you.”
“In your eyes… does it really look that way?”
Idrian and Cecile’s views of Chester were completely opposite.
Who was right?
