TVBO 21

Chapter 21

Today was the day the villain left for the battlefield.

I didn’t go to see him off.
No, to be precise, I didn’t want to.

I didn’t want to see his face.

But I still needed to understand what he was thinking — why he had spoken those lies that sounded so much like the truth, and what his intentions were behind them.

Heading toward the castle walls now had been an impulsive decision.

I hated the idea of seeing him, yet I still wanted to make sure he was really leaving.

I just wanted to confirm with my own eyes that he was gone — nothing more.

When I reached the ramparts, a strong wind whipped around me.

“Your Highness!”

“…”

I saw his back as he was about to leave.
Then, as if sensing me, the villain turned his head in my direction.

The distance between us was far, but I could swear our eyes met.
And then — he smiled.

All of it was just a mask.
His smile felt disgusting.

“…Liar.”

“Your Highness?”

Still, thinking that I wouldn’t have to see that deceitful face for a long time made me feel a little lighter.

The thought of not having to deal with that shameless man wasn’t unpleasant.

And on top of that, there was hope — hope that, in this gap of time, I could keep things from playing out like the original story.

Maybe his obsession with marrying me was, just like in the novel, because he had his eyes on the imperial throne.

Was he just pretending to put the imperial family at ease, planning to stab us in the back later?

Was that why he joined this war — to advance the same ambition?

“…Nanny, let’s go back.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

After all, this wasn’t a war that my precious father or brother would personally fight in.

The one going was the villain — a man whose death would, honestly, be convenient for us. There was no need to worry.

All I had to care about was the safety of myself and my family.

“Your Highness… are you perhaps troubled by something?”

“…No.”

“I can listen to everything, you know. I won’t tell His Majesty.”

“…Nanny. What do you think about me marrying Duke Zikbert?”

“Hmm… I’m not sure what the imperial family thinks, but I simply want Your Highness to be happy.”

“My… happiness?”

“Yes. If marrying Duke Zikbert makes you happy, then it’s the right choice. But if you think it will make you unhappy, then it’s one you’ll regret.”

From the beginning, this was a war I was destined to lose — so marriage to him would never happen.

But still, this uneasiness wouldn’t leave me.

“Nanny. If I marry Duke Zikbert, it might be good for the empire… but not for me.”

“I only wish for Your Highness to be happy.”

“…”

“Because the choice will always be yours.”

The choice was mine — and so was the responsibility that came with it.

What did I want? What was it that I truly wished for?

“For now, I think…”

After hearing my nanny’s words, I crawled into bed. Yes, the world outside the blanket really was a dangerous place.

Inside the blanket, everything felt so much safer.

“Nanny… should I run away?”

“To where?”

“…Or maybe just… go on a trip?”

“That doesn’t sound bad. If traveling helps Your Highness clear your mind.”

“Then I’ll go.”

I had plenty of time, after all. A trip might help me sort out these restless, tangled feelings inside me.

Father and brother were both too busy to come along, even if they wanted to.

I still wanted to stay their little girl, but I didn’t want to trouble them.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to travel around the imperial villas, admire the scenery, and refresh myself.

And if by some miracle I found the person I was searching for… that would be even better.
It was unlikely, but I couldn’t help clinging to that faint hope.

“I’ll tell Father now — that way, I can leave tomorrow!”

“Your Highness…”

“I’ll give you a vacation, Nanny. I want to travel alone anyway. I’ll just bring a few guards.”

It wasn’t even a difficult request — Father would surely agree.

Without hesitation, I went straight to his office, where he was working.

“Father!”

“Yulia?”

“I want to go on a trip.”

“A… trip?”

“Yes! Of course, I’ll take guards with me.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“I’d like to travel for about two months.”

“If only you hadn’t accepted Duke Zikbert’s proposal…”

“No, it’s not about that.”

Just — I needed some time.

I wanted to travel for a while, to clear my cluttered thoughts.

Maybe then I could come up with a plan to protect my family.

“It’s just… I’ve spent too much time in the capital. I need a change of scenery.”

“…You plan to go alone?”

“Please assign some guards.”

“You should also take a maid.”

“All right, I will.”

It didn’t matter who came along — I wasn’t running away. I’d be back.

This was my home, after all.

“I’ll definitely return within two months.”

“All right. But if you wish, you can stay longer.”

“It’s fine. If I can come back sooner, I will. Father… you’re busy, right?”

“…If not for work, I would have gone with you. I’m sorry.”

“No! It’s okay. I’ll go now!”

“Very well.”

As I left, I remembered my brother.

I wouldn’t see him for two months — I should say goodbye.

He was probably as busy as Father, but if I left without saying a word, he’d sulk for sure.

So I turned my steps toward his quarters.

Father might not mind my absence, but my brother was always strangely sensitive about me disappearing without notice.

Maybe he got anxious when I wasn’t around.

“Yulia?”

“Brother! I came to say goodbye.”

“…Goodbye?”

“I’m going to one of the villas for a while, to rest and refresh my mind.”

“Yulia. Maybe I’m mistaken, but… don’t you always rest?”

Seriously, why did I even bother coming here?

“I’m going, okay? I did tell you I’m traveling!”

“…How long will you be gone?”

“Probably about… two months?”

“All right. As long as you enjoy yourself. I’d come with you, but… you’d hate that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“So cold. You didn’t even hesitate.”

Despite his words, my brother smiled gently.

“Then be careful, Yulia.”

“Of course! I’ll take plenty of guards. You don’t need to worry.”

I couldn’t tell if that look in his eyes was worry for me, or sadness that he wouldn’t see the sister who resembled our mother for a while.

I wasn’t sure.

* * *

“Your Highness, everything’s ready! It’s time to get up!”

“Mmm… already?”

As expected — Father was fast to act.

Just one word from me yesterday, and everything had been arranged overnight.

“…Ugh. I’m still tired.”

“You can sleep in the carriage. It’s enchanted so you won’t get motion sickness, no matter how long the trip.”

“…Okay.”

After changing clothes, I went outside — and was immediately stunned by the sight.

The scale of it all was ridiculous.

There were so many guards.

My head throbbed, but I let it go.

More guards only meant Father cared — I decided to take it as a good thing.

With a knight escorting me, I got into the carriage.
As the door closed, I covered my face with both hands.

“Sigh… What should I do?”

There was no way left to escape the villain’s reach.

All I could do now was leave my fate to the heavens.

No — why was I even worried? This was a doomed story anyway. Why was I thinking he’d win and come back?

That’s how terrifying the subconscious could be.

“Well… I’m going on a trip now, anyway.”

Maybe I should just enjoy it.

Think of it as taking a break — empty my mind, focus only on myself.

If I could come back with a clear heart, maybe that would be enough.

The villain would be on the battlefield — I wouldn’t have to worry for now.

So I should make the most of the time I had before he returned.

Just think about me.

“…Ha.”

Anxiously, I clutched my head.

“Seriously… what am I supposed to do?”

It was absurd. It shouldn’t happen. But if he really won the war and came back alive…

There would be no escape for me.

No — maybe one.

Escape this world itself. My death.
Death was the only possible way out.

Once bound to him, I’d never have a peaceful day again.
Before, when we had no real ties, things had already been bad enough.

When I closed my eyes, I saw my future — pitch-black, endless, suffocating darkness.

Yulia’s character was meant to end in eternal night.
But I didn’t want that. I wanted to live.

To live drenched in my family’s love — to drown in that sweetness called affection.

“I want to live.”

Outside the carriage window, the sky stretched wide, filled with puffy white clouds.
It was so clear, so beautiful that I couldn’t look away.

I won’t die. I will survive.

“I don’t want to die.”

I would do everything I could to make sure my family — the Beatrice royals — never reached the original story’s tragic end.

If killing the villain was the only way to escape that fate, then I’d do it.

No matter what it took.

Maybe marriage to him would actually be the best way to watch him closely — from within.

So… I shouldn’t let despair win.

Don’t think so negatively. Stay positive.

“…It’d be nice if he just died in battle.”

Then I wouldn’t have to be afraid anymore.

Because he was a man built of deception — you could never tell what was real with him.
If he just died, it would all end neatly.

How foolish I’d been, trying to believe those words — “I love you.”

I’d almost let myself be swayed by that sweet lie, despite knowing the original story.

If I hadn’t known the ending, I might have believed him completely.

I might have believed his vow of loyalty to our family at the New Year’s ceremony.

But not anymore. I won’t be fooled again.
I won’t fall for that handsome face ever again.

“The weather’s nice.”

Still… maybe this trip would be fun.
As long as the weather didn’t turn, it might even be a pleasant journey.

I’d just have to hope this trip could wash away my anxiety — because even that would make it worth it.