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Chapter 17
The moment I opened my eyes, everything that had happened yesterday flickered through my mind like a film reel.
I really must’ve lost my mind. It wasn’t even under the influence of alcohol — I was completely sober — and yet I went and did that with the villain again.
When I tried to move, every muscle in my body screamed in protest.
If it wasn’t just my imagination, it actually hurt worse than before.
“Ugh!”
Unbelievable. Just unbelievably stupid of me.
Still, at least I’d told him not to leave any visible marks. Small mercy, I suppose.
…Though really, was that something to be thankful for?
All I could do was twitch a finger — that was the only strength I had left. There was no way I’d be getting out of this bed any time soon.
So much for him being “gentle.” At this point, I was starting to wonder if my understanding of the word had been completely wrong all along.
“Gentle, my ass.”
Yep. I had one more reason to never get married.
If I did, he’d definitely be even rougher than this.
And that supposed “tenderness”? I didn’t feel even a shred of it last night. If anything, all I saw was the depth of his possessiveness.
“It hurts like hell…”
I gave up on moving. Maybe if I stayed still for a while, I’d be able to move later.
Judging by how high the sun was, morning had long passed — probably around noon.
I’d slept late a few times before, so it wouldn’t be strange. I decided to just laze around a bit longer.
God… I couldn’t move a single muscle.
“Your Highness!”
“…I’m awake.”
“His Grace, Duke Zikbert, wishes to see you—”
“Tell him I’m sleeping.”
“…I did, Your Highness. But he said he’d wait until you woke up.”
Unbelievable. Wasn’t tormenting me all night enough? Now he had to show up in broad daylight? That man really was a devil.
“I’ll go. Just… let me change first.”
I could technically go out like this — just a chemise and a shawl — but considering how people would look at me, better not.
Sure, we’d already seen each other naked, but we weren’t family or engaged, so pajamas were definitely out of the question.
“I’ve shown him to the reception room.”
“Good. You did well. And don’t worry too much, Nanny. I’ll handle it.”
“But… Your Highness, you say that, yet your hands are shaking terribly…”
“R-really?”
I thought I’d hidden it well, but apparently not.
“Your Highness, if you’re trembling this much… maybe it’s better not to meet him at all?”
“He’s the kind of man who’ll wait until I come out. If I don’t, he’ll just stay there.”
Or worse — he might come back again tonight.
And that was the last thing I’d ever allow again.
Why had he come in the middle of the day anyway? What was he thinking? Hadn’t we said everything that needed saying last night?
“Nanny. Send everyone else away.”
“…Will you be all right, Your Highness?”
“What’s there not to be all right about?”
“But… Your Highness, you look awfully pale.”
Was I really that bad?
I knew I was still suffering the aftereffects of last night, but was it really so obvious?
A creeping unease ran through me.
“I’m fine… really, I’m fine, Nanny.”
Forcing a smile, I stepped into the reception room.
He was standing by the window, looking out — his profile so striking it brought to mind a beautiful, seductive demon.
I almost fell under that spell before shaking my head hard to snap out of it.
Seriously, it was terrifying how unnecessarily good-looking he was.
“Duke, what brings you here?”
“Yulia.”
Why did his handsome smile send chills down my spine?
Ah, right. Because that same smile had haunted me mercilessly last night.
The memory alone sent goosebumps down my arms.
“Don’t smile like that.”
“Why not? Does it make your heart flutter when I smile?”
“No. It’s terrifying.”
It wasn’t excitement — it was closer to fear.
“You’d best get used to it. Once I return, we’ll be living together for the rest of our lives.”
“…Why are you here?”
“Your body.”
“…Excuse me?”
“I came to see if you were all right. I’m glad to see you seem fine.”
“…You think I look fine?”
What kind of absurd nonsense was this?
I was not fine.
My back felt like it had shattered, and every muscle screamed as if it were being ripped apart.
Fine, my ass.
He was the one with no conscience, not me.
“I’m not fine at all!”
“If you can walk, I’d say you’re fine enough.”
“…”
I was speechless.
“If you’ve got nothing more to say, please leave.”
“Yulia.”
“…”
“I’ll end the war before summer and return.”
That war was supposed to be a losing one — it was supposed to drag on for years.
And yet he said he’d end it before summer?
Was it arrogance? Overconfidence?
He should at least make plausible claims. Then again, maybe that just showed how confident he was.
“Sure. If you can actually do that.”
“You think it’s impossible?”
“Isn’t it?”
“…I just came from speaking with your father.”
What? With my father? About what?
“So now you’re suddenly interested.”
“What did you talk about?”
“I told him I’d be joining the war.”
“…”
“I made no remarks that might cause you to worry or feel uneasy, so there’s no need to be concerned.”
Was that supposed to reassure me?
“I’m a man who always keeps the promises I make with my body.”
“Duke!”
“And I think it’s time you stopped with that stiff title. You were quite comfortable calling me by name last night.”
Handsome or not, that smile of his irritated me to no end.
People said a smile was a person’s most disarming weapon, but when he smiled, it always felt like he was mocking me.
“See? You do remember my name, Yulia.”
“…”
“And it’s too formal to call your future husband ‘Duke,’ don’t you think?”
“Not at all.”
“You’re the only one I’ve ever allowed to call me by my name, Yulia.”
“I don’t need that kind of permission.”
“Chester.”
“…”
“Call me Chester.”
He caught my hand.
“You should start practicing now. It’ll come more naturally once we’re married.”
He raised my hand to his lips and kissed my palm.
The spot he kissed burned like fire. I jerked my hand away immediately.
“I have no intention of ever calling you by your name.”
“Hmm…”
“Not now, not ever.”
“I won’t insist for now. But once we’re married, you will.”
“Say that after you actually win.”
It was a losing war. I’d never end up marrying this man.
I’d find the person I was waiting for — or live alone if I had to.
“Your Highness seems to be wishing I die on the battlefield, but unfortunately, that won’t happen.”
“…”
“Or perhaps you’re hoping I lose the war. But I just accepted the position of Commander-in-Chief as a condition of joining.”
“Of course you did.”
He reached out and gently toyed with a lock of my hair.
“Since Your Highness doesn’t seem particularly interested in me, I’ll tell you something you might not know.”
His voice dropped to a languid whisper by my ear.
“I have never lost a war I’ve commanded.”
“…”
“And I won’t start now, Yulia. So don’t expect me to die or be defeated.”
How did he know what I was wishing?
I had wished for his death on the battlefield — though I’d never said it out loud.
The way his hand stroked my hair suddenly felt menacing.
It was like being caught in a trap he’d set himself.
Had I walked into the tiger’s den of my own accord?
“I’ll return alive — bearing news of victory.”
“…”
“You want the Empire to win this war, don’t you?”
“…”
“Then I’ll make that wish come true for you.”
“…Really?”
“Yes. Do I sound like a man who makes impossible promises?”
It was an unwinnable war — or it should’ve been.
And yet, the way he said it made me feel as though he really would return victorious.
As a royal, I should’ve wanted the Empire to win. But I already knew defeat lay ahead.
If his participation changed the course of that predetermined story, though—?
A ripple of anxiety passed through me.
He suddenly pulled me into his arms, trapping me there.
“The thought of not seeing your face while I’m on the battlefield is… rather unbearable.”
“…”
“So until the day I leave, I want to see you every day.”
“I’d rather you didn’t.”
“Well, once the war’s over, I’ll see you for the rest of my life anyway. But I can’t see you while I’m gone.”
I didn’t want to see him for a lifetime — not even for another minute.
Sure, his face was perfect, almost dangerously so — but that was the only thing about him I liked. His personality was absolutely not my type.
“Yulia.”
“…”
Now what.
“Until the day I leave for the front, I want my eyes to hold only you — and my mind to be filled with nothing but you.”
As he pressed his lips to my hair, his gaze burned with an intense, consuming desire —
as if he might devour me right there and then.
