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Chapter 10
Only when I was completely out of breath did I finally manage to push his shoulders away, and our lips separated.
I had done something I would regret for a long time.
If I could go back, I would never make the same choice again.
But time had already passed; I couldn’t undo it. All I could do was add one more moment to the list of things I regretted.
“Chester. I think that’s enough.”
“…Enough of what?”
“You don’t love me. You’re just obsessed with my body.”
At my words, he had the nerve to look offended.
“Yulia, if I’ve made you into someone who can’t live without me, then you need to take responsibility.”
“…How is that my responsibility?”
I was so dumbfounded I couldn’t even argue. Words failed me.
His hand brushed against my cheek. Those blood-red eyes, heavy with desire, looked ready to devour me whole.
“You were the one who seduced me first. The one who pushed me down first. The one who eagerly stole my purity, Yulia.”
Can’t someone just delete the memories I don’t have?
I don’t remember any of that!
And when he says it like that, I can’t even defend myself. Because I truly don’t remember.
“I can’t sleep without you anymore.”
“That’s not my fault!”
“If you’re not there, I have nightmares.”
“…”
Why did he have to act in a way that made me feel weak?
Did he know that when he looked so pitiful, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything harsh?
If he was doing this on purpose, then he was being extremely cunning.
“I can’t sleep peacefully without you, Yulia.”
“…Even if it’s not me—”
“When I see you… I stop seeing the hallucinations, Yulia.”
“…”
“Please… won’t you stay by my side?”
Was this really true? I couldn’t help but doubt him.
The original story never explained much about the villain’s backstory.
It only said he had a miserable childhood without parents.
That he went to war at a young age, pushed past human limits, returned a war hero, and was made a duke of the Empire.
He first met the heroine at her father’s funeral, and from that point on, his “kindness” was nothing more than obsession.
And as for the imperial princess who’d pursued him for years—he grew annoyed and slaughtered the entire imperial family.
In the end, he was nothing but a stepping stone for the heroine and hero to end up together.
After hearing some words from the heroine, he lost his mind, went insane, and took his own life.
But the original story never mentioned any of these finer details about Chester.
Maybe he saw hallucinations because of trauma from the battlefield as a child.
“Chester… we can’t get married.”
“…”
“And I don’t know if you realize, but my family is pretty strict. They don’t like me being alone with a man.”
“Your father wouldn’t say anything about me being with you.”
“…My brother would.”
Honestly, my father wouldn’t object at all. He’d probably welcome Chester with open arms.
But my brother was different. He hated the idea of me marrying anyone.
Maybe Father had developed an immunity to Mother by now, while my brother still couldn’t let her go.
After all, I looked just like her.
The past was the past. Whatever the reasons, both of them loved me now, and that was enough.
“It’s fine. After all, His Majesty the Emperor is your father, isn’t he?”
Wait, why was he calling my dad “His Majesty”?
“Hold on… why are you calling him that?”
“You know that no one can overturn a decision once His Majesty approves it, Yulia.”
When I pointed it out, he deflected immediately.
“No. If I asked him to, he’d overturn it.”
“Do you really believe that?”
A moment ago, he had been begging like a pitiful puppy—but now he was looking at me like a predator.
Which version of him was real?
Or maybe… neither of them were.
“If I whispered that I love you…”
“Chester, stop acting. There isn’t an ounce of sincerity in that.”
“Yulia. Even if I was sincere, could you promise you wouldn’t run away?”
“…”
“Even now, you’re looking at me with fear in your eyes… If I showed you my true feelings, do you really think you could endure it?”
Was this yet another mask? It was impossible to tell what his true feelings were.
The original story had focused only on the male and female leads—everyone else had been left vague.
In his eyes, I was the only thing that existed.
“Well? Yulia. Answer me. Would you rather I keep wearing this mask of kindness when I’m with you…”
His hand brushed my cheek again, his gaze burning with the effort of holding himself back from devouring me.
“…or would you prefer I show you my true self?”
“…And what exactly is your ‘true self,’ Chester?”
Before I could say more—or hear his answer—his lips were on mine again.
Even if I wanted to push him away, I couldn’t move. Both my wrists were caught easily in one of his hands.
All I could do was wiggle my fingers helplessly.
It wasn’t that I hated his kiss. In fact… a part of me wanted him to go deeper.
When I parted my lips slightly, his tongue slipped between them.
Only when my lungs were burning did our lips finally part—and a breathless gasp escaped me.
“Haa… haa…”
My head felt painted over in black ink, my vision hazy except for those red eyes staring back at me—cold and piercing.
“…Is this your true self?”
That gaze held no emotion—only possession.
Was this what he really meant by “truth”?
That he only wanted to own me, body and soul?
If that was the case, I didn’t want it.
But that didn’t mean I preferred the mask, either.
Because that mask only hid this darker truth beneath it. Either way, I didn’t want any part of it.
I just didn’t want to be tangled up with this villain anymore.
“If this is your true self… then let’s never see each other again.”
“If I’m being true to myself, do you really think I’d let you go back to the capital?”
A chill ran down my spine.
If he really was the villain, he’d be capable of that.
“Chester.”
“You only say my name when you’re cornered, don’t you?”
Why did he look like he was about to fall apart?
“If I were truly honest, I’d lock you in a room so no one else could ever see you.”
His hand traced down my cheek.
There was no emotion in his eyes—not even the faintest flicker.
Was he just that good at hiding it? Or did he really feel nothing at all?
“Maybe I’d even make it so you couldn’t get out of bed.”
“Chester…”
“I want to possess you completely. From the top of your head to the tips of your toes—even a single strand of your hair.”
He picked up a lock of my hair and kissed it.
Why did that look… so sensual?
His red eyes looked up at me over my hair, and for a moment I forgot how to breathe.
He looked devastatingly handsome.
“I want to own even the breath you exhale.”
“…That’s not love.”
Yes. This wasn’t love. It was obsession.
And if it continued, I’d be the only one hurt.
But I had to say it anyway.
“Chester. That’s not love—it’s just obsession.”
“So what if it is?”
What?
That’s not the same thing!
“Not wanting anyone else to have you—that’s pretty close to what people call love, isn’t it?”
“That’s not what it means!”
“Then what does it mean? I’ve been doing things completely unlike myself just to become the kind of man you wanted.”
“…”
“You said you wanted someone kind.”
“…You mean, you were pretending? I’ve never once seen you act kind.”
“Would you like to see what happens when I stop pretending?”
His fingers interlaced with mine, locking each joint tightly.
Then he pinned me against the wall—not hard enough to hurt, but enough to make escape impossible.
When his face drew close again, I squeezed my eyes shut, thinking he was going to kiss me once more.
But his lips didn’t touch mine.
Puzzled, I opened my eyes—and saw him undoing the ribbon at my collar with his mouth.
In an instant, the bow fell apart, fluttering to the floor like scraps of cloth.
“Chester!”
“There’s no need to worry. It’s just the two of us here.”
“That’s not the point!”
“It’s not like it’s the first time.”
At those words, the loosened ribbon revealed my bare neck.
My once-healed skin flushed red again.
When I checked later, I was sure there’d be a new mark there—bright and obvious.
“Chester!”
At the sound of his name, he froze.
“Yulia… are you crying?”
He looked genuinely shocked.
And I understood why—because tears were streaming down my face.
“Yulia… don’t cry. If you hate how I am, I’ll hide it for the rest of my life.”
“…”
“I don’t ever want to see you cry—unless it’s in bed.”
Ugh, why did he have to ruin it at the very end?
If not for that line, I might’ve actually believed him.
That look of panic on his face almost seemed sincere.
“Yulia. Please, don’t cry.”
He gently wiped the tears from my cheeks with his fingers.
And for a fleeting moment, I almost believed in that tenderness.
But I knew better.
This man couldn’t truly be kind—he was just hiding his true nature again.
I didn’t want to stay here another second.
I shoved him away and wiped my tears with the back of my hand, my voice shaking but firm.
“…I hate you.”
Very, very much.
