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4. Teddy Bear
Four days after being informed of my engagement to Stanlay.
After seeing him off back to my family estate, my days immediately became filled with nothing but study.
Danna, my tutor since childhood, had taught me general academics, etiquette, dance, and sewing. She never pushed me beyond my limits—but that only made her strictness more intimidating.
The short whip she always carried had never once been used on me, yet it remained a symbol of fear all the same.
On my study desk, books were piled high, and I absorbed page after page of lessons on how to behave as a wife.
Of course, I had studied such things before. But this time, it was different—I would not be marrying into nobility, but into a commoner’s household. That changed many things.
I muttered in front of Danna that perhaps I should at least learn the basics of a merchant’s wife. The very next day, she had already found a specialist, and suddenly my schedule included introductory lessons in business management.
And then there were other things.
Yes—married life. All of that.
When I asked Stanlay whether we would sleep in the same bed, there had been a brief pause. Only now did I finally understand why.
He truly hadn’t known either, I told myself as an excuse.
After all, I had no friends I could lean close to and whisper such improper yet strangely intriguing things with—only a bed to confide in.
I had been thinking I didn’t want to see Stanlay for a while. But two days before his expected return…
The day after an unseasonal heavy snowfall, I received word from him that he would be delayed by about a week. And somehow, that made the loneliness deepen all at once.
It wasn’t as though he had always been by my side. His main duty was serving my father.
Ten years ago, when he arrived at the estate at sixteen, his work had been to assist as an attendant while learning the manners of high society. But he was intelligent and sincere, and my father took a liking to him almost immediately, entrusting him with more and more responsibilities.
Even so, in the midst of his busy days, he always found time to see me. When I was often too ill to leave my room for months at a time, he would come and keep me company.
And even after I grew older and my surgery succeeded, that never changed.
Just as my wish to avoid him was slowly being overtaken by the desire to see him, the day of his return finally came.
I had been waiting since morning with anticipation—but he still did not arrive.
At dinner, my father said casually, “The snow must still be deep. He probably took a detour. He may have stayed somewhere along the way and return tomorrow instead.”
My shoulders slumped at those words.
At the same time, unease crept in. The snowstorm had passed, but it was still snowing.
By the time I was supposed to be in bed, I sat beside it, hesitating whether to lie down, when a small knock sounded at the door.
“Yes?”
Peeking in was Aisha.
“Miss, it seems Lord Aris has returned.”
She must have come to inform me because I had kept asking every time we met whether Stanlay had come back yet.
I stood up abruptly, then looked at her as if seeking permission.
“Can I go see him for just a moment?”
“Just a moment,” she agreed.
A thicker wool shawl was draped over my robe, and only then was I allowed to leave the room.
Aisha and I hurried toward the entrance.
Stanlay was still there, his large trunk and Boston bag set at his feet as he brushed the snow from his shoulders.
Noticing me, his eyes softened with a smile.
“I have returned, my lady. You are still awake?”
“Welcome back. I was about to sleep when you happened to arrive.”
Relief washed over me at the sight of him safe and well—but at the same time, memories of everything I had been thinking about made me strangely self-conscious. I tilted my head slightly to hide it.
“You had quite a difficult journey.”
“Yes. The weight of the snow caused one of the old bridges in the district to collapse, so I assisted with the rescue efforts. Fortunately, there were no casualties. By the time you next see it, a far sturdier bridge will have been completed.”
While speaking, he rummaged through his bag and pulled something out.
“My lady.”
With a bright smile, he presented a box tied with a ribbon.
I didn’t even need to open it to know what was inside. A teddy bear.
A seasonal teddy bear made from fashionable fabrics. There was a shop near his family home that made them, and they were so popular that orders came flooding in even from the capital.
Every time he returned home, he brought one back as a gift.
Ever since I was ten years old—the first time he brought one to me and I had been overjoyed—it had become a tradition.
“Thank you.”
I hugged the box tightly.
“I’m happy, but you know, I didn’t come here to ask for souvenirs.”
“Eh? Is that not the case?”
He looked genuinely stunned, as if the idea had never even occurred to him.
“I was worried because you were late coming back.”
This territory wasn’t used to heavy snow. I had been afraid he might have slipped, fallen, or been hurt somewhere.
At the thought that I had worried about him, Stanlay’s smile brightened so much it almost seemed capable of melting the snow itself.
“I apologize for making you worry. Several roads were blocked due to the snow, which delayed me, but other than that, nothing happened. I am perfectly fine.”
“I’m glad.”
“And you, my lady? How is your health?”
“I’m well.”
“Is that so? It suddenly turned cold. I was worried you might have fallen ill.”
His hand reached out, gently adjusting the shawl that had slipped from my shoulders.
Seeing his face so close made it hard to breathe normally, so I deliberately looked down at his luggage instead.
“You must be tired. Go rest. Sorry for keeping you.”
“Not at all. I am simply relieved to see you well. Then, if you’ll excuse me, I will retire for the night.”
He lifted his bags.
“Please return to your room as well. Keep warm and sleep well. Aisha, is the hot water bottle prepared?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Good. Then make sure she’s properly covered. The air is dry, so before sleeping, a little honey—”
“Yes, yes, overprotective much? I’m fine, so hurry up and go.”
I waved him off.
He gave a wry smile.
“Understood. Aisha, please take her back before she gets cold.”
“As you wish.”
Stanlay bowed, then walked past me and disappeared into the depths of the estate.
My cheeks felt strangely warm as I rubbed them.
He was just Stanlay—so why did I feel so nervous?
“Well then, let’s return to your room.”
“Yes.”
In any case, I was relieved he seemed well.
Back in my room, I sat on the bed and immediately untied the ribbon on the gift.
Inside the box was a teddy bear sitting neatly in place—cream-colored, dotted with small pink flowers.
So this was the spring’s trend. It would surely look adorable with a voluminous dress.
I wrapped the ribbon I had undone around its neck and tied it into a neat bow.
“How lovely,” Aisha said with a smile as she cleared the empty box.
“Shall I put it on the shelf?”
All the gifts I had received before were displayed in a glass cabinet to keep them from dust.
I stared into its glossy black button eyes for a moment, then shook my head.
“No. I’ll sleep with it for a while.”
“Very well.”
The amusement in Aisha’s voice wasn’t my imagination.
At nineteen, it was embarrassing to sleep with a stuffed toy—but it was a gift, so it should be fine.
Just like I used to when I was little, I pressed a kiss to the teddy bear’s forehead and placed it by my pillow before slipping under the blankets.
