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Chapter 21
When I longed for him so desperately, he never once appeared. So why now…? After all the resolve it took for me to let go of those feelings…
Estelle was confused.
She couldn’t understand what had caused his change, whether she could trust this new version of him—or if perhaps he had some ulterior motive and was merely pretending to be kind. No matter how much she thought about it, she found no answers.
Chirp!
At that moment, a clear birdsong rang in Estelle’s ears.
Following the sound, she turned her gaze and saw a rare bird with pristine pink feathers circling in the air.
“It told me to follow it. It had the same color Mama likes.”
“You know that pink jewel Mama always cherished? Its feathers were exactly that color—”
It was exactly like the bird Aer had described not long ago, on the day he got lost alone in the forest. Looking closer, not only its feathers but even its tiny eyes were a translucent pink.
Her Majesty, the former Empress.
It was an absurd thought, but seeing the bird made Estelle instinctively think of Serena, the late Empress.
The bird that had been circling around Estelle suddenly changed direction and flew toward the Aren Forest.
Normally, she would have paid no attention to the scenery and headed straight for the merchant guild—but today was different. For some reason, she felt as if she absolutely had to follow that bird.
Before she could think any further, her feet had already stepped into the edge of the forest.
The bird flapped its wings slowly at her eye level, yet flew at a pace she could keep up with.
Flutter—
At the brush of its wings, branches trembled, and with them, dry leaves that had clung on through winter finally fell. Startled butterflies fluttered about in confusion before settling once more atop wildflowers.
The forest, bathed in early spring sunlight, bloomed with beauty at every turn—but Estelle’s eyes were fixed solely on the pink bird.
How long had she wandered through the sweet-scented spring forest?
Was there a place like this here?
She arrived at a quaint little cottage beside a small pond. Drawn by an unexplainable curiosity, she reached toward the door.
“Why are you here?”
A familiar voice stopped her in her tracks.
“And how did you even find this place?”
The heated voice belonged to Kaian. He grabbed Estelle’s wrist roughly and pulled her toward him. Caught off guard, she had no chance to resist.
In the blink of an eye, they stood so close their eyelashes nearly brushed with each breath.
Chirp—!
The bird that had led her here cried out faintly in the distance. But Estelle had no capacity left to care. All her senses were already entangled with Kaian.
His gaze burned with a furious intensity, as if he might devour her at any moment. It was a look she had seen countless times before leaving him—filled with anger, demanding answers.
“I thought it was strange there was nothing left. So this is how you’ve been sneaking things out, piece by piece?”
“What are you talking about—”
“So you came to Aren from the start for this.”
What had made him so furious? Estelle couldn’t grasp it at all.
It was sudden enough that Kaian had appeared in the forest, but now he was accusing her as if she had stolen something of great importance. None of it made sense.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. So at least explain what you think I did!”
“Hah, you’re as despicable as ever. It must have been amusing—watching me nearly fall for your act of having lost your memory, while you continue to disgrace my mother!”
She thought she had grown used to receiving his hatred. But faced with such vivid hostility, Estelle found herself speechless. A surge of unfairness rose abruptly, choking her.
“The fact that your son found this place on his own last time tells me enough. I can imagine how often you must have come here with him.”
At the mention of Aer in Kaian’s furious voice, the fragile restraint Estelle had maintained shattered completely.
“What did my child ever do wrong?”
He should never have brought the child into this.
How hard she had struggled alone to protect Aer—who had withered under his indifference and contempt.
In her past life, he had despised even sharing the same palace as the child. So this time, she had simply raised him quietly, far away.
“You don’t even know anything. Aren’t you ashamed?”
Estelle’s cold voice fell low. It carried a chilling elegance, as if frost might bloom in the forest at any moment.
“You suddenly barge into a peaceful village, toy with a child’s heart, and now you’re even accusing me of a theft I didn’t commit.”
Since the incident at Shawennan Lake, she had never spent a single day free from guilt toward the late Empress Serena.
Even as Kaian’s anger—born from misunderstanding—grew more intense, she had accepted it. She couldn’t even defend herself due to the curse of silence. After all, she did bear some responsibility for the Empress falling into the duke’s scheme.
But she could no longer stand by while that anger crashed down upon innocent Aer.
“You probably don’t care, but this is my first time here today. I didn’t even know there was a cottage in this forest, let alone what was inside it!”
Once her emotions broke free, they surged uncontrollably.
Perhaps because it had already been four years since she stopped being forcibly injected with emotion-suppressing drugs by the duke, nothing held them back anymore.
“Do you always just decide on an answer and force everything to fit it? Have you ever once tried looking at things from a different perspective?”
Estelle jerked her wrist free from Kaian’s grip.
“What you know—what you think—might not be the whole truth!”
All the sorrow of her past, of desperately wishing he would see the truth hidden in the shadows beyond his sight, surged up at once.
Was that why? Her vision blurred, and hot tears welled in her eyes.
Estelle turned away, holding back the sorrow that threatened to spill over. No matter what, she didn’t want to break down in tears in front of him.
But the moment she fully turned her back, two streams of tears finally slipped down her cheeks.
Then—
A step. She heard Kaian moving toward her.
“Don’t come any closer!”
“Wait—”
“If you’ve already decided to hate me no matter what, then stop meddling in my life—and Aer’s.”
“……”
“No—don’t come looking for us at all. Then I won’t have any reason to appear before you either.”
Even as she spoke, the long-buried emotions clawed at her heart.
Drip. Drip.
As if the sky understood her feelings, dark clouds gathered, and heavy raindrops began to fall without warning. Just moments ago, it had been bright and clear.
The early spring rain was cold enough to steal away her warmth.
The downpour soaked her completely—but in a way, it was a relief. It hid the endless tears streaming down her face.
Desperate to escape Kaian’s sight, Estelle hurried away, not even caring about the rain.
The cold raindrops stinging his skin were something Kaian, too, had no time to notice.
When he had seen Estelle about to enter the cottage, he had been overwhelmed by betrayal and anger—thinking she had known about this place and erased the traces of his mother.
If that were true, then her claim of memory loss had been nothing but a lie to deceive him.
The thought that he had once again been fooled by her cunning tricks—that he had even worried about her for a moment—made him feel both foolish and disgusted with himself.
And yet…
The look in Estelle’s eyes as she insisted on her innocence had been filled with desperate resentment.
It was the first time.
Since the incident at Shawennan Lake, her eyes had always been empty, as if she felt nothing. But now, something intense had filled them.
Back then, no matter how he demanded answers, raged at her, or even pleaded—she had said nothing. That cold silence had only fueled his anger.
But now, her emotions felt completely different.
“What you know—what you think—might not be the whole truth!”
And when she turned away in fury, something had glimmered and fallen from the corner of her eyes.
It couldn’t be… but what if that had been tears?
Caught in that unfamiliar doubt, he had taken a step toward her—but no further.
“Don’t come any closer!”
Her firm rejection stopped him in his tracks, and the rain began to pour.
Of course. The Estelle he knew would never cry from something like this.
…Or so he thought.
Yet even after she had left, Kaian found himself unable to move.
Even if the tears had been his imagination, the sorrow in her eyes and voice lingered in his mind. That emotional side of her felt so unfamiliar.
For a fleeting moment, he even wondered—whether, as she said, he might have missed something.
Foolishly. As if bewitched.
After standing there for a long time, Kaian unconsciously began to follow after Estelle.
