20.

So tell me, Estelle — say that the days you endured alone were unbearably miserable and painful.
Then, if only for the briefest moment, I will show mercy this once, set aside my hatred for you, and listen to what you have to say.

“It isn’t easy for anyone to raise a child.”

“I thought as much.”

“But even if I could go back, I would make the same choice. The moment I met my child, I came to know a joy and happiness on an entirely different level than before.”

However, the answer was so far from what he expected that his emotions began veering in a completely different direction.

“Yes. To a degree that can’t even be compared.”

How could she say such a thing?

As an Astria — and as the Empress of the Lecanto Empire — you cast aside my mother and countless lives to seize that position and honor. How dare you!

How could she claim this modest life was happier than the life bought with so many sacrifices?
That was unacceptable.

“Could it be… you don’t remember your previous life?”

“……”

“Have you ever been to Oblia Valley?”

So you must have lost your memories. If that were the case, at least I could believe you were mistaken out of ignorance.

“I’m asking how you dare live comfortably alone after forgetting all those sins.”

“Of course… even that wouldn’t be something to welcome.”

“Answer me!”

Growing frustrated at the lack of response, Kaian raised his voice, forgetting that Aeir was asleep.

“Mmm—.”

Aeir stirred and murmured in his sleep, seemingly affected by Kaian’s outburst.

The moment the child began to fuss, Estelle picked him up with practiced ease and gently patted his back. Soon, his breathing steadied once more as he drifted back into deep sleep.

“Sir Ian.”

After soothing the child, Estelle called to Kaian in a calm voice.

Although he had introduced himself as Ian, this was the first time in nine years that Estelle had spoken that nickname intentionally rather than by mistake.

Creaaak.

Just then, the carriage came to a stop. A moment later, the coachman opened the door.

“You should be on your way now.”

“The child will cry a great deal when he wakes.”

“I will comfort him.”

It was an unmistakable dismissal.

“Though I do not know your exact status, you appear to be a high-ranking noble. And you are not a resident of Aren, are you?”

Estelle added, meeting Kaian’s gaze with steady, unwavering eyes.

“As for you, you may simply return to wherever you came from after satisfying a moment’s curiosity — but for a child, the deeper the attachment grows, the greater the wound it leaves.”

Her words carried a quiet certainty that one day he would leave.

Was she truly missing her memories, or merely pretending to?
The longer Kaian stayed by her side, the harder it became to tell.

He fell silent and met Estelle’s gaze.

Meanwhile, the late afternoon sun at winter’s end slanted into the carriage, filling the interior with pale light.

When Kaian gave no response, Estelle held the child close with one arm and, with her free hand, politely gestured toward the open carriage door.

Almost unconsciously, his eyes followed the direction of her hand.

Outside lay the entrance of Helix Square, bustling with people moving about. The lively scene felt like an entirely different world from the stillness inside the carriage.

Among the crowd stood Cedric, quietly watching him.

When their eyes met, Cedric gave a brief bow and nodded once — a sign he had something to report.

In the end, Kaian acknowledged he had to step out of the carriage for now. He looked back at Estelle and spoke.

“You seem to be under a misunderstanding.”

“….”

“I have no intention of leaving either you or Aeir here.”

“I told you before, sir — this is our first meeting. You must have mistaken me for someone else.”

“I don’t trust memories. They can be altered or erased as easily as anything.”

“…I don’t understand what you mean.”

“It doesn’t matter. The fact that you belong to me doesn’t change.”

With those final words, Kaian rose from his seat.

The moment he stepped out of the carriage, the coachman shut the door and immediately set off.

Watching it grow distant was far from pleasant — but it didn’t matter.
He already knew exactly where that carriage was headed, and his knights would be keeping a careful watch over the mother and child.

“Commander.”

Cedric, who had approached his side at some point, began speaking quietly.

“One priestess from the Orsel Temple is said to be well-versed in dealing with mental-type monsters.”

It was the response to the order Kaian had given before heading to the Imperial Palace for the state council earlier that morning.

“Since priests of the Central Temple often have audiences with Your Majesty, among the frontier priests you could meet privately while concealing your identity, that priestess appears to be the most capable.”

Not even a full day had passed, yet Cedric proved himself just that competent and reliable as an aide and guard.

“Orsel is quite far. Still, better than dealing with several mediocre ones.”

“However, Your Majesty — there is one concern. That priestess reportedly participated in the monster subjugation campaign you personally led four years ago. Do you know someone named Diana?”

Kaian recalled the northern monster suppression campaign he had personally commanded from the vanguard for about two weeks, shortly before Estelle disappeared.

“It’s a common name. I don’t remember it.”

If she had been a knight, perhaps — but priests rarely stood on the very front lines of a monster subjugation, and a priestess even less so. Had he met her even once, he would not have forgotten the name.

“Then I shall have her brought here.”

“Use a mana stone and bring her through the portal. A day should suffice.”

“Yes, Commander. Your orders will be carried out. But may I ask one more thing?”

Kaian answered with silence.

“Did you order the priest to be found because you believe that woman is Her Highness the Empress — and that she has lost her memory?”

“Yes.”

Ancient power always left a distinctive trace. The curse of mental-type monsters passed down since antiquity was no different.

Kaian intended to summon a priest capable of sensing that trace and determine whether Estelle had truly fallen victim to such a curse.

For that reason, he could only hope the priestess named Diana would arrive in Aren as soon as possible.

***

The next morning.

After dropping Aeir off at the kindergarten and stepping outside, Estelle’s expression was unusually dark.

It was because Teacher Anne had told her about the quarrel between Aeir and Jamie that had occurred the previous afternoon.

“I’m truly sorry, ma’am. I should have watched them more carefully. I did have Jamie apologize for what he said right away, but that alone won’t erase the hurt he already caused…”

Children naturally grow through countless small conflicts — but that did not mean a fight that dug into the wound of an absent father could simply be brushed aside.

I didn’t even know… and I only ended up scolding my child.

Last night, when Aeir woke and realized Kaian wasn’t beside him, he threw a tantrum for almost the entire night.

If he was already like this now, what would happen later?
Judging by his reaction, she had to cut things off before he grew any more attached to Kaian.

Growing anxious, Estelle had disciplined him quite sternly.

Had she known something like that had happened at the kindergarten during the day, she would have spent more time comforting him instead.

Guilt and pity tangled together, tightening painfully in her chest.

This is my second time… I should be doing better than the first. And yet I’m still a mess.

Though this was her third life, it was only her second time living as a mother — and she was still full of shortcomings.

Had she, by secretly fleeing while carrying him, given Aeir a wound he never needed to suffer despite having a living father?

She had done it to protect him from the tragic fate of the first life… but was this truly the best choice?

Perhaps there had been a better way.

I never imagined Aeir would come to like Kaian so much.

Estelle recalled the sight from yesterday afternoon — Aeir clinging tightly to Kaian, smiling brightly. It was something she had never witnessed in her previous life, because Kaian had never once sought the child out.

In the first life, Kaian not only avoided Estelle, he visibly kept his distance as if he could not even tolerate sharing the same space with the boy.

He had even skipped the imperial banquet held to celebrate Prince Aeir’s first birthday.

And yet, the Kaian she met in Aren treated Aeir completely differently.

I wouldn’t call it outright warmth, but his gaze was certainly far gentler than before.

Aeir chattering excitedly about the scenery outside the carriage while sitting on Kaian’s knee.
Kaian holding the boy securely and personally teaching him swordsmanship — far too early, perhaps, but still.

It was the very image Estelle had longed for in her first life, when she alone had stood by Aeir’s side.