TNDHD 3

Chapter 3

Why? Why me?

Why had I decided on divorce in the first place?

He was a man who pretended to respect me as his wife while ignoring me behind my back. He deliberately excluded me from all duties as the lady of Wayriver. He would spare no expense when it came to precious jewels and flowering trees for me, yet he seemed unwilling to share any of the serious responsibilities of managing his estate and domain.

“Kagan. I heard the Marquis of Rigen and his wife will be attending this ball. They specifically asked me to come as well.”

“There is no need for you to attend such gatherings.”

“But I even missed the last charity event in Delfonia…”

“I can go alone. That is enough, Ruwan.”

He often rejected my involvement in an unusually firm manner. It was usually when it came to social affairs or work-related matters.

In the tradition of Viasera, husband and wife were supposed to become equals after marriage, regardless of their pre-marriage status, but reality was somewhat different. Kagan never asserted authority over me beyond that of the head of the household, yet in truth, he held higher status and far greater responsibilities in every respect, so it was difficult for me to argue when he made decisions.

At first, I did not think there was anything particularly strange about him. Perhaps influenced by his master, I could even somewhat understand the servants’ reluctance to entrust me with work.

Wasn’t I, after all, a newly arrived noblewoman from the countryside, despite being the duchy’s lady? Moreover, I had only begun receiving formal aristocratic education after coming to Wayriver.

With no experience or dignity in managing a noble family, it was only natural that the authority granted to me solely through marriage felt shallow. I merely worked harder than others, trying to learn and adapt.

But it was strange that I wasn’t even given the chance. Even when I tried to appeal to Kagan a few times, it was futile. I also had no opportunity to argue at length while he was busy ruling the domain.

“I would like to see the household expenditure ledgers and next month’s budget, Ben.”

It was a month ago when I finally resolved to ask Ben. I had the confidence that my private tutor, who was far from lenient, had acknowledged me as being “sufficiently prepared for practical work.”

“Even small items are fine. Kitchen expenses, garden expenses—anything.”

Ben looked hesitant, but after I explained that I had been advised by Mrs. Harbert to study practical documents, he soon brought me the records.

I analyzed the ledgers and reviewed the following month’s budget. Since it was only for study and not intended to interfere with actual administrators, I even freely revised and supplemented it as I pleased.

Afterward, I asked Mrs. Harbert to review it.

“…You have endured a great deal of hardship, Your Grace.”

It was then that I first learned what kind of expression my tutor smiled with.

The woman who had disapproved of the duchy’s new lady who had married in without education—who had initially been unable to hide her concern and even her cold gaze—finally showed me a genuine smile as a loyal subject of Wayriver.

“You should be grateful for the talent heaven has bestowed upon you. Of course, I know better than anyone how tirelessly you have worked without even putting down your books. And yet, you are achieving results that cannot be built by effort alone. You put me to shame for ever doubting you.”

“You flatter me, Mrs. Harbert.”

At her sincere encouragement, I felt as though I might cry.

“I’ll work even harder so I can become a reliable support for the duke as soon as possible. I know I still have a long way to go.”

“You are already more than capable.”

I could not hide my childlike joy.

I’m glad. Really, I’m so glad.

With light, almost flying steps, I ran toward the western annex. I wanted to proudly show my husband, who must still be working late into the evening, that I had made progress.

Please wait just a little. I think I’ll soon be able to become your strength.

I passed through the corridor built along the long bridge crossing the beautiful River Livtein. Before I knew it, I was running lightly, not even feeling the heat anymore. It was the end of a summer that had been so humid that the residents constantly complained.

“You gave the ledgers to that woman?”

But the voice I accidentally overheard from the staircase beside the study was—

“Such a pointless thing.”

Completely opposite from the gentle voice of praise I had just heard from my tutor.

“I’m sorry, my lord. I only intended to help since I was advised that it would be good for Mrs. Harbert to teach her practical work…”

“She can’t do it.”

A cold voice, as if cutting through flesh.

“I told you clearly. Don’t assign her anything.”

As though he had no desire to say more, Kagan let out a long sigh and fell silent.

I stood frozen in that silence. The stillness pressed down on my shoulders like thin ice. Leaning against the wall of the stairway, I listened to the footsteps of the two men gradually fade away.

“That woman.” He had called me “that woman.” He said I couldn’t do anything.

I had just witnessed something I never could have imagined.

Kagan was always a husband who treated me politely and respectfully. Yet behind my back—especially in front of his subordinate—he spoke of me in such humiliating terms.

“Such a pointless thing.” “Don’t assign her anything.”

Was that why? Was that the reason he always refused me so abruptly whenever I asked to be given work—saying it wasn’t necessary, that I should adjust slowly?

Was it actually because he looked down on me?

My arms trembled with shame and humiliation. The shock and betrayal were beyond anything I had ever felt when I was younger and heard nobles whispering behind my back about a “poor noblewoman” or an “ignorant noble.”

I felt like a fool. A useless fool who had not even realized she was being treated as incapable by her own husband.

“Did you have a good day, Ruwan?”

“Yes.”

That night, I refused him when he came into my bed as if nothing had happened.

“I’m… tired today.”

“Did something happen?”

“Nothing… I think I just read too much.”

After that, my attempts to speak seriously with Kagan did not go well.

His avoidance of the subject, my fragile pride and fear of suffering even greater humiliation, and many other issues piled on top of each other, leaving everything unresolved as time passed.

At this rate, I would end up living as nothing more than a hollow lady of the house. My husband still intended to work alone, and Ben no longer showed me the ledgers.

If this was how it was going to be, why did he even choose me as his wife?

I was a noblewoman too. Even if I had been a fallen noble who secretly survived by selling embroidery. I had been raised by my parents with the belief that a noble should live a life of responsibility and contribution, and I had never forgotten that identity.

Even if I was not from a great and wealthy ducal house, I wanted to be someone who contributed somewhere. A life where I only received care without giving anything in return was not a noble’s life—it suited a child better.

That was why I thought of divorce. Because I had to live as a true noble.

And yet.

“…Me? As the heir?”

Kagan had named me as his successor?

“Why me?”

It made no sense.

“This is absurd.”

The man who wouldn’t even let me act as the lady of the house had left a will naming me as the one to become lord in an emergency?

“Ma’am!”

At that moment, Mila peeked in from the entrance.

“I just guided Marquis Rigen to the western guest reception room. He’s been asking if the duchess has been busy lately and kind of pushing to be received quickly.”

Ah, right.

I suddenly remembered the guest I had completely forgotten in shock over the will.

Marquis Rigen had come. The current legal heir.

“Are you all right, Your Grace?”

Ben’s gaze, now asking me again, looked almost solemn.

Now I understood. Why he had urgently shown me Kagan’s will.

According to Kagan’s testament, Marquis Rigen was no longer the heir of Wayriver. He had no authority at all. At least, that was clearly what Kagan intended.

“I’m fine, Ben.”

Whether I accepted my husband’s will or not was another matter.

“I’ll go now, Mila.”

I pushed down the confusion in my mind and stood up.

For now, I would deal with the present. My husband was absent. Yes, temporarily absent.

From now on, I would receive his guest. Not as a potential “heir in case of emergency,” but as a normal guest.

I walked once again along the long corridor leading to the western annex. The west wing was where Kagan worked, so I rarely had reason to go there. Other duchesses might have been different, but not me. Not since that day I ran there filled with excitement after receiving praise from Mrs. Harbert…

The green scenery beyond the skylights lining the corridor had already turned red. The changing season. It felt as though the cold scent of winter was reaching out from distant clouds toward the River Livtein.

I had thought I would never see winter in Wayriver.

It felt like autumn would vanish in a few breaths.

Just like the long, hot summer disappeared as if it had been a single night’s dream.

“If only I could see what’s in your mind, Kagan…”

“Oh, please don’t worry at all, Lady Ruwan!”

The woman clasped my hands with eyes sparkling so brightly it was almost overwhelming.

“I, Mila, will teach you everything. Just trust me.”

The woman named Mila said. She looked to be in her early thirties. I had heard she had been Kagan’s comrade since his days as a monster hunter in Northka.

I was a little curious why he had assigned someone like her—a hunter rather than a proper noble maid—but…

“Our dear little lady. I truly hope you find happiness.”

But I did not dislike her. Her large hands, which held mine tightly as if in prayer, were warm.

“Actually, I’m a little worried. Whether our dear Ruwan will truly be happy tonight or not! No. I can’t confidently promise that!”

“Why wouldn’t I be happy?”

She had just told me not to worry a moment ago?

“Ah!”

Mila pretended to be startled, then suddenly smiled mischievously.

“Even after seeing our duke’s mighty physique up close, Lady Ruwan didn’t collapse. Oh, impressive. You have a braver heart than you look.”

“But he is a very proper gentleman.”

At my shy defense of Kagan, Mila stretched her lips into a wide grin.

“Oh dear, dear. You really are an innocent little thing. A complete novice.”

“Novice…?”

It was true I didn’t know much.

I lost my parents at fifteen and lived alone for ten years. I attended church on Sundays and occasionally had neighbors who checked in on me, but I had no one I could call a friend.

I was too poor to interact with other nobles, and I could not cross the invisible line drawn between me and the commoners.

My hometown, Tesena, was a small and closed-off village.

“Oh, you poor innocent girl! Well, you may see some… intense things. But don’t worry. That’s our job—mine and the duke’s. And even when our duke was a naive boy, I taught him well, so you won’t be in any serious danger.”

“Wow, Mila even taught Kagan.”

Whatever that meant, she seemed even more impressive now. She was someone close to my husband who knew him well.

“Of course. I was the only woman in our hunting team. And my teaching methods were strictly wholesome verbal instruction—of the kind that says a man must know what he needs to know and behave properly. So don’t misunderstand.”

“I won’t misunderstand.”

I nodded obediently while she still held both my hands.

“Remember this, my lady. At first, it may be difficult to handle the duke, but you will gradually realize it. Ah… there is no man in the world who can make me happier than this enormous man!”

“Yes.”

I nodded enthusiastically.

Kagan was indeed big. Over 190 cm tall, it seemed. His shoulders and chest were so broad he sometimes looked almost inhuman compared to me.

Even this morning, seeing him on horseback during the military parade had made me gasp without realizing it. Like two enormous beasts of different species in harmony. It had somehow looked both magnificent and beautiful.

“Fortunately, there is only one thing you must be careful about. Everything else, the duke will take care of. Easy, right?”

“Yes, I’m ready.”

It was finally time to learn more about Kagan.

“Then first of all…”

Mila said firmly.

“Do not scream when the duke takes off his trousers.”

It was the day I was finally going to marry Kagan and spend my first night with him.