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Chapter 27
Selenia realized, almost ironically, that she had managed to endure these past eight years only because of the way Venerucia had treated her.
Because Venerucia Afron was always going to love Rucalina Elihan.
Because he had never truly been interested in her.
Because Venerucia could never become Selenia’s person.
He had shown her that himself. And so Selenia had always loved him just enough that, if she had to, she could someday let him go.
From now on, she could never allow herself to love him any more than that.
Only then, when the day came that Venerucia Afron—the story’s male lead—declared his love once again for Rucalina Elihan, the heroine, and when Cliffd forced her to continue serving as the chain around Venerucia’s neck, she would still be able to pretend she was fine.
But if Venerucia truly decided to make Selenia fall in love with him…
Then her love would cross a line from which she could never return.
Eight years ago, perhaps she would have been swept away by his words. She might even have believed he had chosen her over Rucalina.
But the Selenia of today no longer dreamed impossible dreams.
She could never become the girl she had once been.
She had to protect herself.
“If Your Highness wishes… I can go to Mother right now and tell her I’ll marry you.”
Selenia stepped closer to Venerucia.
She truly did not want to love this man any more than she already did.
She gently cupped his cheek.
Her expression was so desperately fragile that he couldn’t utter a single word.
“And if Your Highness wishes… I can kiss you too.”
She tilted her head.
Her lips descended toward his…
Brushed his for only the briefest instant…
Then pulled away.
Venerucia froze.
It had been so long since their lips had met that, absurdly enough, even in a moment like this, that fleeting touch tasted unbearably sweet.
He felt ridiculous—reacting like a boy experiencing his first kiss.
But love had always been like that.
While he remained dazed, unable to gather himself, Selenia continued.
Because she had been busy working, she wore only a light dress.
With one smooth motion, she pushed him backward onto the sofa.
Resting one knee on the cushion, she looked down at him.
The sofa was far too narrow for them not to touch.
They were close enough to feel each other’s warmth.
That warmth alone was enough to awaken memories of all the years they had spent together.
Selenia guided his hand until it rested upon the ribbon tied around her dress.
“If Your Highness wishes…”
“…We can go even further.”
She spoke as though reciting lines she had rehearsed countless times.
Every word made Venerucia feel worse.
No…
“Worse” wasn’t nearly enough to describe it.
It was unbearable.
Whenever he saw her like this, it felt as though a lump of blackness had lodged itself in his throat.
“Selly… don’t talk about yourself like that.”
But Selenia merely smiled bitterly and continued her cruel mockery.
Rucalina’s early appearance.
Her father’s sudden death.
The hatred her mother had come to bear because of it.
Yet more than any of those things…
It was Venerucia’s declaration that he would make her love him that had finally driven Selenia to the edge.
“Your Highness… don’t deny it.”
“Apart from the fact that I’ve occupied your bed for the last eight years…”
“…there’s nothing left between us.”
For one year, Selenia had chased after Venerucia alone.
For the following year, she had become his bed partner.
Then another six years passed with them living as lovers—yet never once exchanging words of love, nor making a promise of marriage.
In truth, they had never really been lovers.
Nor had they ever been fiancés.
To Selenia…
The only thing left connecting them was that bed.
It was humiliating beyond words.
Yet even that humiliation had become her everyday life.
“I know my place.”
It sounded like the same words she had spoken long ago.
But this time…
Her desperation was far greater.
She prayed with all her heart.
“So I’ll never dare speak of love to Your Highness.”
She only hoped…
That she would never come to love him so deeply that she could no longer bear keeping those words to herself.
That was all she wished for.
Venerucia’s face crumbled.
Selenia never once blamed him.
Instead…
By mercilessly belittling herself without accusing him, she forced him to confront every one of his sins.
The Selenia standing before him was the scar left behind by the past.
Eight years spent enduring an undefined relationship—neither truly his lover nor his fiancée.
Eight years that had left her unable even to confess her love.
Every part of her was proof of the wounds Venerucia himself had inflicted.
Once again…
Venerucia had no choice but to acknowledge how arrogant he had been.
An arrogant man believed that as long as his lover still loved him, forgiveness would naturally follow.
Never realizing…
That the one suffering had never been him.
“I’m sorry.”
Venerucia pulled Selenia tightly into his arms, burying his face against her shoulder.
He couldn’t bear to look at the face of a woman who spoke of herself so carelessly.
He could barely breathe.
He had wanted to see how she would react.
How utterly self-deceiving he had been.
He had acted with nothing but empty bravado, never once prepared to face the consequences.
Yet even so…
He refused to let her go.
Instead, he held her even tighter.
Venerucia Afron had always been an arrogant man.
A man who believed obtaining everything he desired was only natural.
That was how he had lived.
People rarely changed.
In the end, their true nature always remained the same.
“So…”
“Please don’t give up on loving me, Selly.”
“I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
“Please.”
At the very moment he confronted his own sins…
Venerucia shamelessly realized even more clearly than before that he still wanted Selenia.
He still wanted her.
He still loved her.
“I’ll formally send a marriage proposal to the Viscount’s house.”
“And I’ll prepare the grandest wedding in the empire so everyone knows you’re mine.”
“I’ll do anything…”
“…until you never again feel you have to say ‘I don’t deserve this.'”
Selenia gave a hollow laugh.
The fear that had briefly seized her quietly disappeared.
Look at him.
No matter how desperately Venerucia begged…
In the end, wasn’t he simply asking her to love him because that was what he wanted?
He claimed he would work hard to make her love him again.
Yet even now…
His own desire came before her heart.
No matter how hard he tried…
Selenia, who still remembered his blind devotion toward Rucalina, could never allow herself to cling to such empty hope.
Just as Selenia could never become Rucalina Elihan…
Venerucia was no longer the same Venerucia Afron who had loved Rucalina.
Realizing her own fears had been foolish…
Selenia laughed quietly at herself.
“As Your Highness wishes.”
Once her fear faded, her reason returned.
She simply nodded.
She believed that the love Venerucia was showing her now was not entirely false.
But neither could she believe in it completely.
If his love for Rucalina had been blind devotion…
Then his love for Selenia was possession.
Selenia smiled bitterly.
Compared to before…
Even that difference was something she was grateful for.
After all…
She still needed the place beside Venerucia.
Seeing her agreement, hope flickered once more in Venerucia’s eyes.
Selenia couldn’t help thinking that, for someone who had only just been begging forgiveness, he had recovered remarkably quickly.
Absurdly enough…
He still hadn’t abandoned the faint hope that she would love him again.
That was exactly like Venerucia.
All his life, whatever he did, people had forgiven him easily.
People had loved him easily.
Now…
She no longer even found that irritating.
So she silently allowed him to keep that hope.
Because only if he continued hoping…
Would he continue choosing her over Rucalina.
True to his promise to change, Venerucia began visiting Selenia’s room whenever he had the chance after that day.
She thought…
At last, they would finally be able to marry.
But the very next morning…
Both of them were confronted by something neither had expected.
“Your Highness… I regret to say that I cannot accept this marriage proposal.”
Because Selenia’s mother personally returned Venerucia’s proposal letter.
The moment Selenia saw it…
She understood exactly what her mother’s answer meant.
It was something she had never imagined.
She had always believed her mother opposed returning to the capital because Selenia had wasted eight years of her life.
She had been completely wrong.
Her mother had never opposed returning to the capital.
She had opposed one man.
Venerucia Afron.
“You’re rejecting my proposal?”
“…Why?”
Venerucia asked with a deep frown.
Even he had clearly never imagined his proposal would be returned.
Refusing a marriage proposal from a member of the imperial family was an extraordinary insult.
If he chose to pursue charges for insulting the imperial household, the Viscount’s family would have no way to escape responsibility.
Moreover…
Selenia was already past the ideal age for marriage.
There was no better match for her than Venerucia.
And setting all of that aside…
Venerucia was regarded throughout the empire as the greatest bachelor after the Emperor himself.
Which made the Viscountess’s refusal impossible to understand.
Yet…
The Viscountess’s expression remained utterly resolute.
