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Chapter 26
The Nature of Love
For the past eight years, she had never once spoken about it.
Senelia had swallowed every trace of resentment and hatred.
Because I wanted you to react. To do something.
And now he wanted her to dig up everything she had buried.
To someone who had struggled desperately to conceal the stench of all those rotting emotions, it was nothing short of cruel.
I wanted to know whether you loved me.
The word love had never been something Senelia and Veneruccia could exchange.
Because beneath all those decayed feelings—
crushed beneath them, screaming as it died over and over again—
lay Senelia’s love.
She had loved Veneruccia for a very long time.
Yet the longer that love endured, the more it had warped into something unrecognizable.
And despite everything…
She still had to marry Veneruccia.
Lifting her spoon, Senelia took a mouthful of porridge.
The thin porridge slid down her throat as heavily as a lump of stone.
Even so, she forced herself to keep eating.
There was far too much she needed to do.
She had to fill her stomach with something, no matter what, and keep moving.
Fortunately, the porridge didn’t upset her stomach.
Although the Viscountess had not simply left everything unattended, Senelia couldn’t help being overwhelmed herself.
Someone had to fill the void left by Viscount Daphne’s sudden death.
And because of that…
She found herself clashing with Veneruccia once again.
He had involved himself in the affairs of House Daphne without so much as consulting her.
What on earth is he thinking…?
Senelia’s expression was grim as she arrived outside the guest room where Veneruccia was staying.
Suppressing an irritated sigh, she knocked.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Your Highness, may I come in?”
“Come in, Selie.”
As though he had been expecting her, Veneruccia immediately opened the door.
He had probably known she would come.
After all, that was exactly why he had interfered with the Viscount’s affairs.
“Sit down. You haven’t had lunch yet, have you?”
His expression was relaxed as he offered her a seat.
Seeing that calm face only made Senelia’s stomach twist.
He seemed pleased with himself.
After all, he had succeeded in drawing her here exactly as he intended.
Realizing this conversation wouldn’t end quickly, Senelia sat down on the sofa.
Emotion surged violently inside her chest.
She swallowed it back with effort.
Partly because she’d already spent years hiding her feelings…
But more than anything—
because now that she knew Veneruccia actually wanted a reaction from her, she refused to give him one.
“I still have work to do. If Your Highness wishes to eat, I’ll instruct the head chef to prepare a meal.”
She declined calmly.
As far as Senelia was concerned, there was only one reason Veneruccia would act like this despite having Lucalina.
It was because she had behaved differently from every other woman who had ever loved him.
Which meant…
If he tried to shake her emotions and she allowed herself to be shaken…
Then she would become no different from all those women who had loved him.
So Senelia decided to keep her distance from Veneruccia for the time being.
Whether he truly needed her…
Or whether he had only begun coveting the love he could no longer possess…
The simple fact that he couldn’t have her whenever he pleased would only make her more desirable in his eyes.
“So you came all the way to my room, and you’re not even going to eat with me?”
The shamelessness of his words was astounding.
It was obvious he had deliberately meddled in House Daphne’s affairs to lure her here.
Yet he spoke as though visiting his room had been entirely her own choice.
“You already know why I came, Your Highness. I appreciate the kindness you’ve shown my family, but there was no need to go out of your way to conceal news of my father’s passing.”
Without hesitation, Senelia got straight to the point.
Viscount Daphne hadn’t been an especially important figure among the nobles of the capital.
But his daughter—
Senelia—
had spent years as the Grand Duke’s lover and naturally attracted attention.
Even after she appeared at the banquet with the young lord of House Pendragon, Veneruccia had interfered in the matter.
That alone had never happened before.
As a result, House Daphne had become the center of noble gossip.
It was only a modest viscount’s family…
But it might one day become the Grand Duke’s in-laws.
Naturally, the sudden death of Viscount Daphne would have become a topic throughout the capital.
And yet—
until now, no letters had arrived.
No curious nobles had appeared.
Everything remained strangely quiet.
Which meant someone had deliberately suppressed the news.
There were very few people capable of blinding the eyes of the capital’s greatest nobles.
The Emperor certainly wouldn’t help Senelia.
That left only one culprit.
From the very beginning…
It had been Veneruccia.
“Selie… I’ve been thinking about what you said yesterday.”
He had probably expected this reaction.
Even when they had been lovers, Senelia had never asked him for anything.
There was no way she would suddenly accept this favor now.
What surprised her instead…
was Veneruccia’s response.
His voice was unnervingly calm.
“I know I wronged you.”
A sense of foreboding settled over Senelia.
Then his next words stole even her ability to breathe.
“You have no intention of ever forgiving me… do you, Selie?”
He had seen through her hatred.
Senelia’s tightly clasped hands trembled almost imperceptibly.
Someone might say she was foolish for hoping he wouldn’t notice after behaving so obviously.
But Senelia truly believed he never would.
Because…
For eight years…
He had acted exactly the same, never seeming to care about how she reacted.
She had simply assumed this time would be no different.
If someone never paid attention…
How could they ever notice another person’s feelings?
It was the same logic that made Senelia believe Veneruccia could never love someone like her.
To her, it was simply too natural that he loved Lucalina.
Yet now—
he looked as though he could see straight into her heart.
How could she possibly know how to respond?
“…What wrong could Your Highness possibly have committed for me to presume to forgive—or not forgive—you?”
Her mind had gone completely blank.
Senelia had never been good at improvising.
Nothing she had imagined over the past eight years resembled this.
She had believed she was merely something that had become inconvenient simply because she was always there.
Something to be put back where it belonged.
That had been the role she’d assigned herself in Veneruccia’s life.
A thing that breathed.
Which meant…
The idea that Veneruccia Apron would ever concern himself with Senelia Daphne’s feelings…
made no sense at all.
“The fact that you hate me…”
Veneruccia said quietly,
“…means you loved me that much.”
Senelia’s brows knitted sharply together.
Once again, her spirits sank.
It felt as though the scars left behind by that wretched love—
the love she’d folded away countless times only for it to unfold again—
had been exposed for everyone to see.
It would have been a lie to say she had never wanted Veneruccia’s love.
That had merely been the shield she’d hidden behind…
to convince herself it was acceptable for her lover not to love her.
Now Veneruccia himself had shattered that illusion.
The feeling was unbearable.
How is it…
How do you always manage to leave me so utterly miserable?
It hurt so much she wanted to cry.
“You don’t have to forgive me.”
The corners of Senelia’s eyes reddened.
She desperately forced back the tears threatening to spill.
But Veneruccia continued speaking.
He was the kind of man who always said exactly what he intended to say.
“It doesn’t matter if you don’t love me anymore.”
He spoke with complete confidence.
The proud protagonist of this world.
Words only Veneruccia Apron could say.
“I’ll make you love me again.”
If only those words had meant nothing.
But the instant she heard them…
Senelia was genuinely terrified.
The only person she had ever been allowed to love—
eight years ago…
now…
and even in the future—
had always been Veneruccia Apron.
If that very man deliberately set out to win her love…
Could she truly keep it from being taken?
She wasn’t confident she could.
Because she had been lonely…
so unbearably lonely…
for far too long.
“Please don’t.”
Unable to endure her fear any longer, Senelia finally spoke.
If the day ever came when she found herself yearning for Veneruccia Apron’s love…
She didn’t think she would survive it.
For the rest of her life, she would have to live knowing that Lucalina Elihan had always been his first love…
his destiny.
That was entirely different from merely accepting the role of becoming the person Veneruccia needed most and remaining by his side.
“I already told you.”
Her voice trembled as she protested against this cruel man.
“I’ll stay by your side… even without love.”
Just as she had all these years.
“And I’ll keep doing so.”
But once her greatest fear surfaced…
another wave of fear crashed over her.
The flutter in her heart from spending years beside him.
The emotions born from his smallest acts of kindness.
The way her eyes always drifted toward the man who seemed like the hero of an entire lifetime.
Even those tiny moments…
had been enough for her love to lift its head like a sprout nourished by spring rain.
If Veneruccia Apron truly began yearning for her love…
Just how deeply would she end up loving him?
If that happens…
Will Clifford Helios really let me live?
Can I keep deceiving the man I love more than anyone… and continue standing beside him?
Every future she imagined…
was nothing but a nightmare.
