TMDL 12

Chapter : 12

It had already been seven years, but it was a memory so precious to him that he could not forget it even for a moment.

From that day on, they spent about four years together at the academy and three more years together in the imperial palace after graduation, and Raiden’s feelings only grew and grew.

His fondness turned into love a little over half a year after meeting Freya, and by the time he graduated from the academy, he had already been carrying a desperate one-sided love for nearly four years.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t tried to confess during that time. But whenever he was about to tell her how he felt, something always happened at the worst possible moment.

“Freya, do you have time after class today? I found a nice café with a good atmosphere—how about we go together?”

“I’m sorry, Young Master. I have an afternoon tea appointment with the other ladies today.”

Or,

“Freya, would you like to have dinner together after the meeting? I found a place that does great smoked dishes—it’d be nice to go together.”

“Ah, I promised to teach my juniors about Lintos’s philosophy today. I’m sorry, Young Master.”

Or…

“Freya, today—”

“If you mean Lady Freya of Valche, she just left earlier with Count Wint’s son.”

…things like that happened one after another.

He tried his best, but for some reason the situation never seemed to cooperate.

And it wasn’t as if he could just blurt out a confession either. In the end, he graduated without ever being able to tell her his feelings.

Still, Raiden didn’t lose hope. After graduation, the two of them entered the imperial palace together as clerks.

He thought that if they spent more time together, more opportunities would naturally come.

But…

“Raiden, I’m sorry, but you’ll have to succeed your father a bit earlier than planned.”

“…Yes, Mother.”

With his father—the head of the family—suddenly handing over his position and retiring, Raiden inherited the ducal title and the post of chancellor about six months after graduation.

Filling the void left by his father, who had stepped down from both the family leadership and his official duties at the palace, was no easy task.

It took no small amount of time to calm the anxiety and opposition of the retainers, as well as the doubts of the palace ministers and staff.

Two years. It was only two years after becoming the Duke of Betelheim and the Empire’s chancellor that he finally managed to settle into his role and breathe a sigh of relief.

Once he had some leeway, he began to notice his surroundings again, and the feelings for Freya that he had kept suppressed started to bloom once more.

In the meantime, she had steadily risen through the ranks and was now the head of an administrative department.

He remembered hearing about her promotion a year earlier, but he had been so busy at the time that he’d only managed to offer brief congratulations.

Always regretting that, Raiden began to move in order to make up for the time he hadn’t been able to spend with her.

He deliberately scheduled three meetings a week, added agenda items, and sent reports back for revisions—anything to create excuses to see Freya.

It seemed he was earning her resentment by increasing her workload, but he was happy just to be able to meet her that much more.

At times, he would leave documents in her office, or “forget” a pen there, creating a reason for himself to visit, or an excuse for her to come to him.

Then one day, as he was enjoying the happiness of spending each day without anyone’s interference, an uninvited guest appeared in his relationship with Freya.

“Duke Betelheim, this is my cousin. You may already know her, since there have been so many rumors about her lately.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Astella Binok, Your Grace. It’s an honor to meet you.”

A young lady whose smiling face somehow made him uneasy.

Astella Binok—the lost daughter of the Duke of Binok who had recently returned to her family.

She was a young lady currently in the spotlight of high society.

Not long ago, his mother had attended a party hosted by Marchioness Rockwood and told him about it afterward.

“Her etiquette was a mess. The Duke of Binok rushed to present her to society. It seems he didn’t even assign a proper tutor—she still has too much of that commoner air about her. So lacking in refinement.”

He remembered his mother giving such a harsh evaluation, and now he felt he understood what she meant.

“She doesn’t seem used to carrying herself properly yet.”

She was trying to sit neatly like a proper young lady, but she couldn’t keep her hands still, twisting her body now and then—her restless movements stood out.

Freya tried to warn her with a glance, but it was no use. Astella’s gaze was fixed on Raiden.

“Seeing them like this, the contrast is striking.”

He hadn’t paid much attention to noble ladies until now, but with these two so clearly before his eyes, he could really feel the difference.

Freya, who maintained the perfect bearing of a noble lady, and the Duke of Binok’s daughter, who looked fine on the surface.

At first glance, people might be drawn to Astella’s freshness, but only for a moment—soon their eyes would move to Freya.

At a single look, Freya was more dignified, more like a true noble lady, and had a sense of stability about her.

And yet, it was a strange feeling. For some reason, Raiden felt a strong pull that made it hard to take his eyes off Astella.

It felt as though she were drawing his gaze to herself, demanding to be seen. Since the sensation wasn’t pleasant, his expression naturally stiffened.

“What’s wrong, Your Grace? Is there something wrong with my etiquette?”

“Ah… no. I was just thinking that your pink hair is very beautiful.”

He didn’t think so at all.

What was beautiful was Freya’s delicate silver hair.

He spoke words he didn’t mean, but he had no choice. His mother always told him to be kind to young ladies.

“Oh my, saying something like that the first time we meet… thank you. But Your Grace’s golden hair is truly lovely as well.”

But what if I don’t want to be kind, Mother?

“How can your hair be so bright and soft? It’s like threads spun from gold, or like warm sunlight.”

Raiden felt burdened by Astella’s bright smile as she praised him.

He noticed her gradually moving closer, and each time she did, he felt as if something were stabbing into his body, making him uncomfortable.

“This is the first time I’ve ever felt something like this. It’s strange. She really is lovely, but like this… ah?”

Had he just thought of her as “lovely”?

He didn’t feel that way at all—so why? He had never thought that about anyone but Freya, so why this young lady?

Objectively speaking, Astella’s appearance was attractive.

She did show signs of having grown up as a commoner, but her skin was smoother than expected, and her hair was nice as well.

Her rare pink hair, even among nobles, looked sweet like cotton candy, and her green eyes held the freshness of spring foliage.

Anyone would have to admit she was a lovely young lady. There would surely be a kind of instinctive attraction.

But not for Raiden. She absolutely did not match his tastes. From the start, the only person his heart ever responded to was Freya.

“This feels really bad. It’s like someone is rummaging through my head and stuffing information about that young lady into it.”

And only with positive emotions, at that. The unfamiliar and deeply unpleasant sensation made Raiden’s expression harden even more.

“Duke Betelheim, you don’t look well. Are you feeling unwell?”

“Ah, I just have a slight headache. I’m fine, Freya. Thank you for worrying about me.”

Her concern wasn’t bad at all. That alone made the sensation feel a little more bearable.

“Oh my, a headache? Are you very tired? You must have worked too hard yesterday.”

“Ah, yes… something like that. I’m fine, so you don’t need to worry, my lady.”

Astella’s worried gaze was not welcome at all.

Raiden took two steps back from her, who had somehow come so close. With the distance opened up, he could breathe a little easier.

Astella’s expression seemed to stiffen, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t as if she was someone he would see often—why bother worrying about it?

But a few days later, Raiden would deeply regret just how naive that thought had been.