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CHAPTER 56…………
For a while, Wintel Castle was quiet.
Dite had all her private property confiscated and was locked up in the Tower of Stars, while Lady Cyrilleje refrained from going out and stayed only in the Castle of Snow.
There had been an incident where former Duke Kailes, enraged at seeing Lady Cyrilleje’s hair cut, tried to punish Dite—but Lady Cyrilleje desperately stopped her husband, and the matter passed without further trouble.
Thus, time flowed quietly in Wintel Castle.
Cayenne, as usual, devoted himself to his duties and managed the domain, while Etisha, in place of Lady Cyrilleje, began preparing for the wedding. Chief maid Gertha helped her greatly.
And Larienne—surprisingly—caused no trouble at all and stayed as quiet as if she were dead.
Never once in her life had Larienne Heinz been so inconspicuous.
Wherever she went, she was always the center of incidents and chaos, like the eye of a storm. But ever since the wedding dress incident, she had been strangely silent.
She barely came outside. Etisha hadn’t run into her, and when she asked the maids, they only said Larienne was holed up in her room.
Etisha was a little bothered by Larienne’s strange behavior, but she chose to ignore it. Rather than waste her time worrying about Larienne, she wanted to live thinking about herself.
A gentle wind blew across the wide snowy fields.
Waves of air flowed slowly, and upon them rode a calm singing voice.
“Ah… ahhh…”
From the window of a small hut perched in the trees came the song—Etisha’s song. She had been given Cayenne’s permission to come here whenever she wished, but this was only her second time visiting.
I’ve just been too busy until now.
With Dite’s issues, Larienne’s drama, and all the wedding preparations…
Not to mention, she had secretly struggled with recurring seizures from her Guama illness.
Ah, it feels so good to come out here.
Etisha closed her eyes and sang to her heart’s content.
Strangely, whenever she came to this hut, her troubled mind cleared, and her heart felt lighter.
Maybe it was because she could sing freely without anyone watching, or maybe it was because this place carried Cayenne’s precious memories. She didn’t know.
For a long while, Etisha sang, enjoying her time alone.
It was free. Peaceful.
Then suddenly, a thought came to her.
…Dite.
Dite had feelings for Cayenne.
That was why she had tried to destroy Etisha’s wedding ring, why she had torn her wedding dress.
Now that Etisha knew the truth, a natural question arose.
When did Dite start liking the Duke?
They said Dite and Cayenne had grown up together in Wintel Castle since childhood. Spending so many years together, it was natural that feelings had grown.
Well, if you lived with the Duke… of course it would happen.
Etisha leaned against the window frame.
Outside, the vast, white snowfield stretched like a blank canvas.
On that canvas, Etisha drew Cayenne’s face.
She pictured him in her mind and sketched out his striking features in detail.
He’s someone you can’t help but fall for.
Etisha had never seen anyone as handsome as Cayenne. He was so beautiful, she could believe he wasn’t human but a god.
His jet-black hair looked too perfect to dare touch, and his eyes seemed like they could swallow you whole if you looked too long.
And his hands…
His large, strong hands. Every time he escorted her, Etisha couldn’t help but tense up. The same feeling came whenever she was held in his broad, firm embrace.
It thrilled her, made her heart race, and in a way—it scared her.
Scared that she might fall for Cayenne.
Scared that maybe she already had.
To Etisha, Cayenne was the best person she knew. Generous, kind, gentle, thoughtful—good. So very good.
I… like him.
Leaning against the window, Etisha closed her eyes.
Her body felt oddly heavy and languid. Maybe she was tired.
What should I do?
Coming north and living with Cayenne had made her happy. She thought it was enough happiness to live here and eventually die here.
So this is happiness. At last, I can be happy too.
That’s what she had thought—naively.
But… it wasn’t like that.
Etisha wasn’t happy.
Not yet.
She couldn’t be.
What if I… end up like Dite?
Once, with a sweet candy in her mouth, she had made a wish.
She wished to know Cayenne.
She wished to stay by his side.
She wished to spend what little life she had left living with him until the end.
But if she did that, she would inevitably fall for Cayenne. Just like Dite.
Living with the Duke… of course that’s what happens.
All across the endless snowy field—there was Cayenne.
Her heart’s canvas was filled with nothing but Cayenne.
With eyes closed, Etisha heard words echoing from far within her—words she herself had once spoken aloud.
<What you need isn’t a bride, is it? Just a wife to fill the role, like air.>
<Every young lady knows. That marrying the Duke gives you the title of Duchess, but not a husband.>
<But I’m fine with that. Because I’ll die soon anyway.>
Yes…
That was how it began, and how it was supposed to end.
Etisha stopped her thoughts, as if closing a door, forcing her mind blank.
And with that, she felt dazed, sleepy.
I want to sleep.
Maybe just a little nap…?
After all, no one else was here. She was alone. Whatever she thought, whatever she did, no one would know.
Etisha slid down from the window frame, curled up on the hut floor, and lay down.
Duke Cayenne.
Whatever she thought or did—no one would know.
My Duke.
Here, she could sing without fear, nap freely, and even indulge such thoughts.
My Duke. I want to see you.
And Etisha drifted off into sleep.
“Miss Etisha.”
A voice reached her in her dreams.
“Miss Etisha. Please wake up.”
Oddly, the bell she always heard was silent. Instead, she heard Cayenne’s voice carried with the wind.
A dream…
Slowly, Etisha opened her eyes.
Cayenne was right in front of her. She stared blankly at him, then smiled without realizing.
So he’s in my dream again.
Maybe it was because she missed him.
She smiled more brightly at him, then closed her eyes again.
He’ll kiss me again, won’t he…?
She waited, eyes closed. By now she should feel his lips on hers. Of course it was just a dream—but precisely because it was a dream, she could kiss Cayenne.
…?
But no matter how long she waited, Cayenne didn’t kiss her.
Like a dream frozen in place, everything remained dark and distant.
Etisha forced her eyes open again. She thought the dream had ended and Cayenne would be gone, but thankfully, he was still there in front of her.
“Miss Etisha.”
“…”
“The castle was in an uproar when you didn’t return by nightfall. Please, let’s go back.”
Sleep-heavy, Etisha barely understood his words. She only heard his voice calling her.
“…A kiss.”
She murmured.
“Why won’t you kiss me?”
Cayenne froze like stone.
Etisha lifted her heavy arm toward him, as if asking for an embrace.
“Why won’t you hold me?”
After all, no one else was here in the hut.
Whatever she thought, dreamed, or did—she could do freely.
“…”
Cayenne stared at her without breathing.
Her smiling face, her outstretched arms toward him, her dream-dazed eyes.
It was as if he were trapped in those blue eyes, unable to think. As if struck hard in the head by a hammer.
And then, Etisha murmured again.
“You always did.”
“…”
“You always kissed me, always held me… but why… why won’t you this time?”
At that, Cayenne’s brow twitched. His black eyes chilled, turning terrifyingly cold.
Something in his chest twisted and burned.
Always kissed her. Always held her.
Always.
Kissed.
Held.
With whom?
Cayenne’s fists clenched violently. Etisha had said she had no ties in the capital—no friends, no acquaintances, nothing but her wish to leave her family.
But now it seemed that wasn’t true.
Did she leave a lover in the capital?
The veins in Cayenne’s arms stood out as he gripped tighter. His jaw hardened like stone.
“Hah.”
Whoever she missed, it didn’t matter. This was the North, and the one beside her now—was Cayenne.
No lover from the capital could reach her here.
Cayenne shook her awake.
“Miss Etisha. Please wake up.”
This time, he pulled her up by the arm.
“Huh… ah…?”
“…”
“My lord…?”
“Yes, it’s me. And as you know, this is the North.”
His reply was twice as curt as usual as he took her hand and escorted her. Etisha, suddenly awake, blinked in confusion and followed him.
“My lord, um… how long have you been there…?”
“From the beginning.”
“Oh, heavens.”
Etisha flushed red and shook her head.
“I’m sorry. I was dreaming and mistook it… I made a mistake. Forgive me.”
“…”
Cayenne’s brow furrowed.
A mistake? A misunderstanding?
Why did those words grate so harshly on his ears?
