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Chapter 63…………….
The horses turned, and the carriage shifted direction. Before long, the two of them were standing in the middle of the vast snowy plain.
In the wide, open scenery, the only things moving were the falling snowflakes and the carriage itself. The wind caught Etisha’s wedding dress and Cayenne’s cloak, making them billow like a painting.
Wearing a wedding gown and uniform in such a place felt almost unreal.
“I came here just a few days ago, yet it feels like it’s been such a long time,” Etisha said, taking Cayenne’s arm as they walked across the snow toward the forest. White snow had piled on the bare tree branches and the roof of the small cabin.
“It’s not just your imagination. Something must have changed in those few days.”
“Changed? In what way?”
“Anything. Feelings, thoughts… those can shift easily.”
“That’s true. Maybe my heart has changed, so the scenery feels different. Do you feel that way too, Your Grace?”
“No, I do not.”
Cayenne opened the cabin door and let Etisha step inside first. After following her in, he added quietly to his earlier answer:
“Not yet, at least.”
Etisha still couldn’t fully understand his thoughts, but when it came to the idea that her own heart had changed, she had to agree.
It was difficult to put into words, but compared to a few days ago, Etisha was certainly different.
In truth, she had been changing ever since she met Cayenne. Leaving the capital, breaking free of the Heinz family, even facing her sister Larienne—no longer did she get swept around by her, but instead, Larienne often floundered because of her.
“Don’t you wish to change, Your Grace?”
“Yes.”
“Why not?”
“…Because I have a goal. Achieving that comes first.”
Only then did Etisha realize what that distant place was—the one Cayenne’s eyes and thoughts seemed fixed upon. It was his goal.
“I see. But didn’t you once say you had no real wishes you wanted to fulfill?”
“Did I say that?”
“Yes, in Raxen.”
“I wasn’t lying. A goal and a wish are not the same. They are different things.”
For him, revenge wasn’t a wish to hope for—it was a goal to accomplish.
He fell silent, moving toward the cabin’s window. Etisha lingered by the doorway, watching him.
“…It’s quiet here.”
“Yes. It’s just the two of us.”
Etisha felt instinctively—this was the time to bring up Dite’s words.
“Your Grace. When I entered the chapel today, I thought I would never forget this day until I die.”
“……”
“But now… it seems that will be true for another reason as well.”
Leaning against the wall, she let out a faint sigh.
“Do you think your mother will be alright…?”
Cayenne shook his head.
“I don’t know. The shock must be great. It was the same when Dite was imprisoned in the tower…”
“And you, Your Grace? Are you alright?”
“……”
“Honestly, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried.”
Cayenne looked at her in silence. His unreadable black eyes felt almost reproachful. Yet Etisha couldn’t back down.
Even if she was only a duchess in name, her worry for Cayenne was real.
“I didn’t expect to say this… and I never thought I would… but I’m worried about you, Your Grace.”
“…You are worried about me, Miss Etisha?”
“Yes, because…”
“……”
“Because I…”
A certain word surfaced in her heart, stopping her thoughts. But she couldn’t bring herself to speak it aloud.
Instead, she said something else.
“I want to know.”
At least, that wasn’t a lie.
Cayenne lowered his gaze to the floor. His eyes traveled across the cabin, then returned to her. A faint smile appeared on his lips.
“I am not someone worth knowing. But if you ask me questions, I can answer them.”
“Then…”
“On one condition. May I also ask you some questions in return?”
“What? You want to ask me questions?”
“Yes. Let us take turns, one at a time.”
Etisha’s blue eyes widened. She couldn’t imagine what Cayenne would want to ask her.
Why would he…? He can’t really be curious about me.
She found it strange, but she couldn’t waste this chance. She asked first.
“Your Grace, are you alright?”
“I am. Because everything Dite said was true.”
“You mean…”
“It’s my turn. Answer me. Are you alright, Miss Etisha?”
“Me? I was a little shocked, but I’m fine.”
She hadn’t expected him to ask after her. Then she tried again.
“If everything Dite said is true… then, Your Grace, you…”
“Yes. My mother did not give birth to me. She only raised me.”
“I see… then you and I are alike, aren’t we?”
Of course, Lady Cirrelege was nothing like Etisha’s cruel stepmother. She only meant that neither of them were tied by blood to the ones who raised them.
“That’s right. When I was young, I wandered for quite a while.”
“What about your real mother? Do you… miss her?”
Cayenne’s lips twisted into a cold smile.
“She’s dead. There is no one for me to miss. Do you miss your real mother, Etisha?”
“Ah… yes. Sometimes I still do. As a child, I always dreamed of her dying.”
“Dreams… of your mother. I thought so.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing. It’s your turn. Ask.”
Etisha thought carefully, then chose a broad question.
“…What happened?”
“……”
“What really happened to you, Your Grace?”
His cold smile deepened.
“As you said. The same as you. When I recall my childhood, all I remember is being trapped somewhere or beaten.”
“T-That’s…”
“My birth mother abused me without hesitation, even when I could barely walk. Then she hanged herself. When my mother finally heard the news and came, she found me in a cupboard. She told me later I was so small and thin I looked like I could fit in her palm.”
“……”
“After that, she raised me. That is all.”
Etisha was speechless.
It was a tragedy—too cruel to imagine. Who would have thought that Cayenne Wintel, the flawless duke, carried such a past?
She clenched her fists. It was heartbreaking, but also enraging—because it reminded her of her own circumstances.
“And your father… what was he doing all that time?”
Visions of Viscount Heinz flashed in her mind—that monstrous man.
“What was he doing while you suffered like that?”
She thought of Kayles, the former duke. While young Cayenne was being abused so terribly by his mother, what had Kayles been doing?
Had he simply ignored it all, indifferent?
Even if he was cold-hearted, that was too much. He had betrayed Lady Cirrelege by fathering Cayenne, and then abandoned Cayenne to abuse?
Etisha’s lashes trembled.
She pictured little Cayenne, suffering alone with no help from anyone, and sorrow and anger welled up inside her.
Then Cayenne answered quietly:
“That is a question I cannot answer.”
His gaze turned distant again.
“Because I do not yet know myself. When I meet my father, I will ask him then.”
“…!”
Etisha froze. Her thoughts stalled completely.
Cayenne, reading her reaction, continued slowly.
“Yes. Kayles Wintel. Cirrelege Wintel. Neither of them are my birth parents.”
“……”
“They are only the ones who raised me.”
“But…”
But Cayenne looked so much like Kayles.
So much that she had thought Cayenne would look exactly like him when he grew older. Yet he wasn’t his son?
Then a memory returned to her.
Back when she had lost her way in Wintel Castle, she had seen the portraits hung in order of lineage. Cayenne’s was on the far right, next to Kayles. Beside Kayles, however, there had been a blank space, like a missing stepping stone.
……[ ] [Kayles Wintel] [Cayenne Wintel]
Now she thought she understood.
That empty place had belonged to Cayenne’s true father.
That was why the portrait had been removed.
So that’s it.
Etisha let out a slow breath. And then another realization clicked into place.
I always felt something was off whenever I saw Lord Kayles.
She had felt it when looking at the portraits, and again at the banquet when he returned.
Whenever she faced Kayles, there was always a strange sense of dissonance. She thought Cayenne resembled him, yet something was different.
Now she knew why.
He wasn’t his real father.
The shock struck her like a crashing wave.
Cayenne Wintel—the hero of war, the Sword of the North, the young and extraordinary grand duke known throughout the land…
That very man had such a secret past.
It was beyond surprising. It was shocking, overwhelming, heartbreaking… Etisha couldn’t begin to imagine the life he had lived.
What kind of heart had he carried all this time? And what kind of heart had he needed to share this truth with her now?
“…It seems I’ve skipped my turn several times already. May I ask my question now?”
Etisha snapped out of her daze.
“Ah, yes… of course. Anything.”
“Miss Etisha, are you disappointed in me?”
“What?”
“Your face says so. I’m not skilled at reading emotions, but you look either disappointed… or perhaps disheartened.”
“That’s not true. Not at all!”
She shook her head and stepped toward him at the window.
Even though he was so close, he still felt far away.
