RTGGSOH 12

Chapter 12

September.
In other words, the month the second semester begins.

After a bit of working out, the uphill walk from the school’s main gate to the lecture building felt a little less brutal.

“I really hate first period…”
“Says the person who forgot to register for classes.”
“Aaaah! No, show some sympathy!”
“Oh, I have Fridays off.”
“I really hate this… It’s so infuriating that ‘sympathy’ and ‘free Friday’ rhyme.”
“But I also have first period all four days, Monday through Thursday, you know?”
“…Why?!”
“I put in the major requirements, left out the band sessions, and filtered for morning classes where possible, so first period was unavoidable.”

Our Sua apparently still doesn’t know why I’m walking to school with her, a first-period fighter…

Because of debut prep, I’d built my timetable around morning classes unless something was a major requirement. I succeeded in securing a free Friday, but the result was first period all four days.
Since last semester’s grades got me a full scholarship covering tuition, I didn’t feel right coasting, so I planned to attend properly as far as I could. (I’d probably have to take a leave of absence next semester anyway.)

I shoved Kang Sua, still too sleepy to function, into the vocal major’s lecture room and headed to my own.
I greeted my classmates, whom only I felt I hadn’t seen in ages, and sat down, and memories suddenly came flooding back. I’d actually enjoyed going here, you know…

“Hope you’ve been well, you master of leaving KakaoTalk messages on read, you brat.”
“Wow, she’s seriously nagging. And you’re the one who ignores messages by default?”

I’d sensed a familiar presence, and it was Sim Yujeong, who’d clearly been holding a grudge about my read receipts.
She didn’t seem genuinely annoyed, just messing with me, so I smiled slightly and fired back.

“Are those the same thing? Whatever, just give me my answer.”
“Ms. Sim Yujeong is far too interested in me.”
“…Seriously?”
“I didn’t say anything?”
“If it weren’t true you’d deny it right away. Refusing to answer means yes.”

Wow, what a sharp-instincted person…
When I nodded vaguely and said we’d talk later, Sim Yujeong made a strange face but sat in an empty seat.

Class started soon, and I had to sit through non-stop lectures with not a single break until 1 PM.
Should I have added another shot to my Americano?

“You’re really becoming an idol? Real? Very true?!”
“What era is that phrase from…?”
“Ah, so what, TV.”
“I heard even elementary schoolers don’t say that anymore.”
“Oh, then so what, Oh In Phe1).”
“Why did Oh In Phe pop up there?”
“Apparently you can stick any object on the end.”
“Honestly…”

At my dumbfounded reaction, Sim Yujeong laughed her head off for a while.
Whenever I’m with this unnie, I keep getting swept up in her pace.

Still, because she’s like this, she’s a really good person to brainstorm ideas with and to work with as a partner.

“So, which company?”
“MusicProve.”
“Huh, isn’t that a solo and band label? A school senior I know has a band formed at school that’s signed there now.”
“The band Neoul? Who do you know there?”
“Oh? The vocalist unnie.”
“I know them. Do you think I’d sign with a company without even doing basic research?”
“No, I just wondered how you know. Those seniors must be quite a few years ahead of you. The age gap too. The vocalist unnie is exactly ten years older than you, I think.”
“The internet. I haven’t met them at the company… Did you change your speakers?”

Giving an indifferent answer, I pointlessly tapped the studio’s new speaker.

Sim Yujeong had occasionally brought me to her studio even when I was in high school.
Even with a tight schedule where I split my time almost down to the second, coming to Sim Yujeong’s studio let me breathe a little, and I loved it here. Even though it wasn’t my own studio.

“Okay, let’s get to the point, quick and concise.”
“Want to work on a debut album together? It’s not confirmed yet, and there are a few things to sort out.”
“Whoa, hey. You’re really going to be an idol?”
“…It just ended up that way.”
“What do you mean it just ended up that way…”

Looking at me with a subtle expression, Sim Yujeong spoke again in a fairly worried tone.

“From what I heard from the unnie, that place is totally hands-off. They only release albums to the extent the artist does it themselves, and there’s almost no support. Are you sure about this?”
“Well, I’m not not worried… If it really seems hopeless, I’ll try to overhaul it somehow. But the time until debut is tight, so I’m asking you to help with that. I don’t think the company will pay attention.”
“You’re asking for trouble. Didn’t you say you didn’t want to be a player? What happened that made you volunteer for hell and become an idol?”
“Hmm… it’s complicated. Let’s gloss over it.”
“I really can’t figure it out. What on earth drew you so much…?”

Sorry, that’s hard for me to explain too… I answered with an awkward smile instead of words.
That some system thing, who knows where it came from, suddenly turned back time five years and said, “You, be an idol”… how on earth do I explain that…

“You’ll help, right? You’re the only person I can rely on right now.”
“Fine, fine… So where do we start, and how?”
“Yes! First, please listen to the situation.”

I’d thought this since she first messaged me, no, long before that: this unnie wants to be a cold, cynical person with chilly winds blowing, but in reality she’s an incredibly warm person.
She worries a lot, she has a lot of small affections, and so she nags a lot. When I show up at her studio after a long time, she’ll throw a fit about how shamelessly someone who barely keeps in touch dares to come, and then ask if everything’s all right.

“Ugh, don’t use honorifics. That’s more annoying.”
“Hehe.”
“And don’t laugh either.”

Even while grumbling like that, she helps me every time.

Asking Sim Yujeong for help had been a really good choice.
Whether it was storytelling or venting… after listening to my complaints for a good while, she suggested we start by organizing things.

“Okay, summary. You want to write a song that fits the group and use it to show the company you have producing ability, right?”
“Yep, exactly. I’ve tried every which way for about ten days and it’s not working. Nothing really grabs me.”
“You can’t make something happen just by building blindly. You’re clumsy with MIDI, so why insist on MIDI? Use guitar or keys. You’re good with both.”

It’s true that at twenty I wasn’t good with MIDI.
But that was just me at twenty, and the twenty-five-year-old me disguised as twenty had long since adapted to using it.

“True, but… if I want to claim ‘proof of producing ability,’ acoustic would be hopeless. If I were going indie, I’d have picked up a guitar long ago.”
“True, idol dance songs are all electronic.”

Of course, I couldn’t say it that way directly…
I’m glad she bought my roundabout excuse.

I played her a few demos I’d made over the ten days since the quest appeared, ones I’d written and deleted but thought, “Maybe I should keep this?” Sim Yujeong nodded and spoke.

“You’ve improved a lot? The quality isn’t at the level I heard in spring.”
“…Ah, please, unnie, let’s bury that. I took classes at school, and I got my own Applebook. In that sense, thank you so much?”
“Funny brat. Anyway, it’s clean so far, but it’s safe and nothing stands out.”
“Yeah… trying to write without thinking about concept or anything was really, truly daunting.”

Aaargh, seriously. This sudden black-history attack from what feels like five years ago is making me dizzy.
Even as she snickered at my expression, Sim Yujeong faithfully listened to the very last demo I’d brought.

“Okay, overall review. You’ve improved reeeeally a lot. What did you do over break?”
“Thanks for the praise, but… doesn’t it seem a bit off from my actual concern?”
“Oh my, your temper is awfully impatient as always.”

While I tapped on the desk with a bitter expression, Sim Yujeong shrugged once and played one of the demos I’d brought.

In an instant the studio was filled with a hard kick sound, finely chopped hi-hats, and wide, low synth laid underneath. It was the most recent demo I’d made.
Yesterday or the day before, I’d made it thinking something like this might suit Hyunseo, then belatedly thought it wouldn’t fit the team, so I’d just quietly saved it…

“This is good. If you build out the verse and make a topline, I think it’d turn out well. You do everything on your own so well, and you dared whine?”
“Aah, no, it’s a real worry, this…”
“I know that much, you dummy. You don’t say this kind of thing often.”
“Oh… that’s kind of touching. But I kept this because I thought it was too heavy. There are trainees at the company who are still middle schoolers.”

Then Sim Yujeong stared at me with a rather pitiful look.
What, what is it?

“You said you made this thinking of the trainee you’re with, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right. But separate from it suiting Hyunseo, does it suit the team’s image? No, it doesn’t. It’s too heavy…”
“No, you said the goal is proving your producing ability. You made it with plenty of quality, and if you made it thinking of a future member, it must suit at least that friend, right? Then design the performance around that friend as the main.”

What, did you plan to pick the title track from the start?

As her cynically tossed-out words began to make sense, a solution to the seemingly stuck quest started to come into view.
When I just stared at her, slightly stunned, Sim Yujeong added an explanation with a look like what a poor lost soul…

“Submit this to the company, and think up the title track later, once you’ve been given producing authority. Unless it’s the type of group where members are picked to fit a concept from the start, you can’t help but divide it as ‘this concept suits this person best.’ You need time to think too. I can’t say for sure, but if you polish it, it could even be a title track, and in that case it’s more than enough for a B-side or sub-promotion track.”

The quest said to write a song “for the group and its members.” It never said to write a song that suits them.
Judging from the supplementary explanation, it seemed quite likely that merely proving my producing ability would count as success.

I’d over-interpreted the condition. I’d been buried in the idea that I had to write a song that fit the group and sketched out the title track.
Why hadn’t I thought of this until now…?

Once my thoughts broke through, things like song structure, topline, and lyrics started sorting themselves out in my head like tidying a messy room.
While I tapped the desk to organize my thoughts, a small sigh came from beside me.

“Well, fine… it’s all good, but, does anyone seriously expect you to produce the group already? You’ve always overthought things like hell, but why are you so lacking in leeway?”

Goosebumps shot up all at once. Why is this unnie’s intuition so good?
I wondered if she’d caught on to the system, but it didn’t seem so; my own impatience must simply have been showing. Am I really that lacking in leeway right now…

“No, it’s not that. But our company doesn’t have an A&R team, you know? Entrusting the fate of a debut song to the company is just too… um, worrying. So, kind of…”
“Ah.”
“…It’s like I’ve developed a sense of responsibility for no reason.”
“Oh dear.”

When I covered with a deliberately calm face, Sim Yujeong nodded in understanding.
So MusicProve’s reputation in the industry was already a mess even at this time. How on earth has this company kept running?

“So, unnie…?”
“Oh, you want to use the studio? Just use it.”
“Yes! I’ll wrap up quickly today and leave.”
“You know how to turn on security, right? Just turn that on when you leave.”
“…Of course?”

I don’t remember.
Of course I don’t, since Yujeong unnie moved studios three years before the point when I was twenty-five!

“You have a good memory, so why can you never remember this one thing every time…?”

In the end, Sim Yujeong looked at my face, sighed deeply, and explained how to turn on the security system again.

Don’t go home too late, don’t be reckless and walk home at dawn, call a taxi, don’t pull all-nighters, go easy on coffee, go even easier on energy drinks.
After pouring out a bucketful of the kind of nagging I’d never even heard from my parents, Sim Yujeong said she also had first period tomorrow and coolly left the studio.

…I also have first-period classes tomorrow, for the record!
Musical ideas are highly volatile, so you have to work on them fast when they come or at least jot them down. There’s no guarantee the rhythm and pitches I’m thinking of now will still be in my head tomorrow.

I’d sent Kang Sua a text asking her to tell the others I’d be late, and I turned on the synthesizer, planning to stay until dawn.

When I connected the audio interface, which had all the equipment hooked up, to the Applebook, the synthesizer came alive. The virtual instrument input that had taken so much effort on the laptop became so comfortable with a single synth.

I used instruments closer to the image I had in mind, changed the kick’s intensity, swapped the synth pads I’d laid down…
I used up the whole night and dawn, and expanded a short hook of about thirty seconds into a full verse’s worth. When I stretched, thinking, “Okay, mostly done!”, the sun was rising outside the window.

It looks like Sim Yujeong’s nagging will truly end as just nagging. I’d bought an Americano with two extra shots before the nearby café closed…
Sorry, unnie, the nagging was totally useless…

Rolling my neck, stiff from staring at the monitor so long, I checked the time on my phone, and it had just passed 5 AM.

• Kang Sua: When are you coming back???
• Kang Sua: (a tilting-head bunny emoticon)
• Kang Sua: Hyunseo asked when you’re coming back
• Kang Sua: pick up your phone pleeease ㅠㅠ

Gasp.
I hadn’t looked at my phone since some point, and missed calls and messages had piled up. Four missed calls from Kang Sua, and seven missed calls from Ko Hyunseo, with no texts…
I thought I’d set it to vibrate, but it was on silent… I quickly sent Kang Sua a reply.

Sorry just saw this –
Working at Yujeong unnie’s studio –
Heading back now –
Sorry… –

Ah, as for her contact name, we’d agreed to just save her under the three-syllable name alone, after the protest “At least take the cold modifiers out of the contact name!” Honestly I still don’t quite understand why she cares about contact names.

I quickly tidied up the studio, turned on the security system as Sim Yujeong had taught me, and returned to the dorm as fast as I could.
Given the time, I’d probably just wash up and head right back out anyway! But seeing the missed calls, I felt I had to stop by!

But…

“You’re really late. Where were you, coming back only now?”

…Hyunseo, don’t tell me you pulled an all-nighter too?
How can you be out in the living room at such a perfect timing?!

I can state with certainty that since becoming an adult, I rarely remember being intimidated by anyone.
If anything, I’d throw a fit myself, and when others throw one I get annoyed rather than scared.

“…Um, I was at an acquaintance unnie’s studio.”
“Doing what?”
“…Do I have to say? It’s a personal matter.”
“After the message saying you’d be late, you ignored all of Sua unnie’s texts and didn’t answer any calls all night. Don’t you think you can at least tell me this much?”

But… honestly, I’m extremely nervous right now.
Our practice room captain is truly, seriously furious…