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Chapter 18
‘No. Don’t think about it. Don’t remember it. If I do…’
He absolutely couldn’t allow himself to.
If he did, he might not be able to endure it.
He might even abandon the young maid who now depended on him and run away.
‘I can’t do that. I can’t be so irresponsible…’
Shaking his head, Ronin sprang out of bed.
The vivid nightmare had robbed him of all sleep.
There was no point lying there any longer—he would only fall back into the same nightmare.
He decided to spend some time on the terrace instead.
Clunk… Clunk… Creeeak—
The long-unused terrace door opened with a heavy groan.
The harsh northern climate had even influenced the architecture.
Unlike the Central Region, the terrace was built with double doors.
To step outside, one had to open the outermost door.
Instead of opening it completely, Ronin only opened the inner door connected to his room.
A pleasantly cool breeze drifted inside.
Ronin let out a contented sigh.
“…Ah… That’s refreshing…”
Perhaps it was because he had sweated so much.
Or perhaps the weather simply wasn’t as cold as he had expected.
Either way, the temperature on the terrace felt perfect to him.
Pulling the shawl that had slipped below his shoulders back into place with one hand, Ronin sat down in one of the chairs on the terrace.
From here, the castle was much easier to see.
The fortress walls, as sturdy as dragon scales.
The distant forest of evergreens.
The cries of monsters echoing from somewhere far away…
It was utterly different from the warm, fragrant atmosphere of the Central Region.
A bleak and desolate land.
‘And yet… I feel at peace here…’
Madam wasn’t here.
Neither was the father who looked at him as though he were a defective product.
Nor his stepmother, intoxicated by her own victory.
Nor the servants who feared even making eye contact with him.
Of course, Ronin knew this place would never truly become his home.
Lord Leofric had rejected him on the very first night.
Lady Wyndham openly treated him with hostility.
Every vassal of House Leofric despised the very name Alistair.
Even so…
At least here, in the North, he had a place where he could breathe.
Right here.
On this terrace.
Here alone, neither the people of Leofric nor the young maid who insisted on watching over him disturbed his peace.
For the first time in his life, Ronin experienced freedom.
And tranquility.
As he hugged his knees to his chest, golden moonlight settled gently over him.
It was the first warmth he had ever felt in the North, a land that had always seemed unbearably cold.
The following morning.
The maid Pam grabbed handfuls of her red hair in frustration.
“What on earth happened?! How could your condition get this much worse in just half a day?!”
Just last night, Ronin hadn’t seemed seriously ill.
He had merely been running a fever.
Pam had seen people suffer much worse than this before, so she hadn’t been overly concerned.
‘It’s not like he’s some fragile Omega who collapses at the slightest touch.’
But overnight, everything had changed.
Ronin’s entire body now burned with fever.
Pam let out a sigh as she wrung out the water-soaked towel.
Hearing the sound, Ronin, who could barely even open his eyes, weakly called to her.
“P-Pam…”
Already irritated that she had to begin the day by nursing a patient yet again, Pam answered sharply.
“What?”
“My thigh… Is the wound… all right…?”
“The wound on my thigh?”
Confused for a moment, Pam soon realized what Ronin meant.
“I’m going to use it as proof of your first night.”
“When Duke Leofric comes later, all you have to do is back up my story.”
“…Proof…”
“That’s right! I can’t just die like this, can I? Whether you have to kneel, beg, or cry your eyes out, I don’t care! Just make Duke Leofric cooperate somehow!”
On their wedding night…
Ronin had been rejected.
To save her own life, Pam had devised a desperate plan.
Thanks to her quick thinking, Ronin had also escaped unharmed.
That fact had weighed heavily on his mind ever since.
Normally, his noble upbringing would have kept him from asking.
But the fever stripped away his restraint, leaving behind only honesty and courage.
He finally asked the question that had been lingering in his heart.
“D-Did it… leave… a scar…? Cough! Cough… cough!”
A violent coughing fit wracked his body.
Pam, who had stood there looking as though she’d just been slapped across the face, hurried over.
Awkwardly, she patted his back.
“…A young master shouldn’t concern himself with a servant’s problems!”
Despite her sharp words…
Her touch was unexpectedly gentle.
Even while coughing, Ronin could feel it.
A faint smile naturally appeared on his face.
Once the coughing finally subsided and he leaned back against the bed, memories of the previous night resurfaced.
More accurately…
Of what had happened just before dawn.
Only after everything had ended did he realize what he had done.
He had clung to someone who had never wanted any of it.
“Hah. You’re no different from a whore. Regrettably, I even pitied you for a moment.”
Just remembering Calion’s face—colder than the northern winter itself—made him shrink as though struck with a switch.
He had no idea how to make up for such disgraceful behavior.
But avoiding him forever wasn’t an option either.
Suppressing the sigh threatening to escape, Ronin asked,
“…Where is Lord Leofric? Has he eaten yet?”
“‘Lord Leofric,’ huh…”
“Pam.”
At Ronin’s warning, the young maid grumbled before finally answering.
“Yeees, yees. That Lord Leofric left before dawn.”
“Since he went out with the subjugation force, I doubt he’ll be back for quite a while.”
“The subjugation force? Then… he went to hunt monsters?”
Such things were rare in the Central Region.
But in the North, monster subjugation was simply part of everyday life.
Monsters appeared frequently.
And exterminating them was the primary duty of the Black Wolf Knights, the order Calion commanded.
‘But he had been back in the North for less than a day… So perhaps what happened this morning really upset him…’
Pam seemed to have reached a similar conclusion.
She hurriedly said,
“I guess so. Still, he hadn’t even been back for a full day before rushing off to hunt monsters. Maybe those rumors are actually true. They say Calion Leofric is addicted to the blood of monst—”
“Pam!”
“Ugh, all right already! Stop yelling at me!”
Pam shouted even louder than Ronin before angrily straightening the bedding with loud thumps.
Whenever the young maid got upset, she always expressed it this way.
Ronin simply sat there quietly, unable to stop her.
Just then…
Knock. Knock.
“It’s Wyndham. If you’re awake, I’ll come in.”
After only a brief pause, the door opened.
It was an incredibly rude thing to do.
Even so, Ronin greeted her with a smile.
“Good morning, Lady Wyndham.”
Opening the door without the master’s permission was one thing.
But Wyndham’s attire was equally improper.
She had covered both her nose and mouth with a cloth.
Ronin didn’t object.
Even when Wyndham noticed Pam and said,
“I’ll have your meals brought here. I imagine you’ll feel more comfortable being attended by the maid from your family estate.”
Ronin answered just as gently.
“Yes, please do that.”
“If there’s anything else you need, don’t hesitate to say so. The North is a barren land, so we may not be able to satisfy every refined taste of someone as noble as yourself, but I, Wyndham, will do my best.”
Every gesture.
Every word.
Carried unmistakable dissatisfaction and contempt toward Ronin.
‘That’s probably because… I’m an Alistair.’
