MLBR 54

chapter 54

I put down the paper and looked Helares straight in the eye. My voice, when I called him, was more serious than before. The edges of the paper digging between my fingers were numerous. In other words, the prepared paper “PPT” wasn’t finished yet.

It contained the counterarguments I had made before and the ones I anticipated, organized to confront him. Only after hearing Helares’ opinion could I present it.

My calm heart began to race again. I gripped the edge of the paper to avoid facing this unfamiliar, trembling feeling.

Finally, it was time to make the proposal I had prepared.

“Oh, Helares Gray. My contract boyfriend.”

The gaze Helares gave me softened. I didn’t know whether it was a positive or negative sign, but I pushed forward with determination.

“I live because you exist, Helares. You are my driving force for living.”

I knelt on one knee, carefully positioning myself through the calculated space between the table and sofa. Since in most media the proposer kneels on the right knee, I did the same.

There’s always a probability, isn’t there?

Some advised me to sing a serenade or use music to set the mood, but I wasn’t a singer. Singers exist as a profession for a reason. And even if it were in my mansion, here wasn’t a place where music could easily be prepared.

All I could rely on was my body.

“My life had no vitality or emotion without you, Helares. Without you, I wouldn’t be standing here, nor would I have any hope for the future.”

Looking back, it was true. The one who lifted me, trapped in a novel, trapped in a warehouse, was Helares Gray.

“You are a special person who sees me as I am. I am certain I will come to love you.”

I had agonized over this confession. I wanted Helares to know just how special he was to me. That’s why I even brought in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

“Humans have needs that must be fulfilled in life. Among them, the most important and the first to be satisfied are physiological needs.”

I extended my right hand, imitating what I had seen in media. By now, the hidden ring case in my hand was wide open.

“Helares, you are like clothing, food, water—things I need to fulfill as a human being.”

For now, I just hoped the long-lasting vacation would play its role and shine beautifully.

“I strongly insist that Helares becomes my husband.”

The proposal was over. Short or long, it burned my soul.

As silence stretched, I felt my heart scorching for the first time. My lips curled inward like a hamster’s.

I became sensitive to everything around me—the sound of the wind outside, the warmth of sunlight on my cheeks even irritated me.

Even Helares’ lips slowly parting caught my attention.

“I can’t think of anything that can beat this. What do I do, me? What on earth am I trying to do, Philena?”

What was this? I held my breath at Helares’ unfathomable reaction. He stood, leaning forward.

“There will probably be conditions.”

Two long, pale fingers of Helares gently held my chin. I stiffly followed, raising my head, and his birdlike laugh tickled my ears.

“But for now, it seems the only way is to accept your proposal.”

Helares tilted his face slightly and kissed my lips.

After the kiss, he stepped back. He gently lifted me, still kneeling on one knee, and looked at me with affectionate eyes.

“If you’re going to deceive me even after marriage, shouldn’t you get used to kissing, darling?”

After Philena disappeared, Helares lay on the sofa, resting his head on the armrest and stretching his legs.

The ring Philena had given sparkled on the table. Glancing at it, Helares reached out and closed the case with a soft click.

Even alone, his mind was noisy. The voice he had always imagined and wished for today quietly stirred his heart.

“I strongly insist that Helares becomes my husband.”

Not only the voice, but the image of Philena kneeling and presenting the ring was firmly etched in his mind.

I wanted to speak first. I wanted to take the initiative. I wanted her to receive the proposal, not me. I wanted to give certainty and love as a gift.

In the end, all Helares could do was accept the marriage and impose a condition—the one about setting an expiration date.

• Marriage is a vow to be together until the end of life, Helares.

• Even vows made with such intentions have exceptions. Just as there are various ways to marry, there are various ways to conclude things.

• But—

• That’s my condition. My one and only condition.

Philena seemed to understand for now, although she left room for the condition to change and firmly expressed her opinion even if Helares rejected it.

“There’s no way it’ll change.”

A hollow laugh escaped Helares’ lips. The moonlight, sparkling through the clouds, gradually dimmed.

At that moment, Helares’ arm began to swell like a beast. The flesh hardened, taking on a monstrous appearance.

“I can’t change it.”

Helares laughed, swallowing the moan that followed. Even enduring the pain, he wanted to feel this tragedy as a comedy.

“No matter who I am, I don’t want to be floundering like a beast next to you.”

“Waaaah!”

I tilted my head, exclaiming joyfully, then began muttering brightly, referencing a book I had read once.

“I am happy, I am joyful. I won the debate, I won, I won, but……”

10 Ways to Be Happy suggested that our emotions are influenced by actions and thoughts, so one should smile and pretend to be happy. The problem was, even with this effort, my heart remained ambiguous.

Yesterday, I had poured out everything I had prepared and was tired. I assumed that was why I couldn’t fully enjoy the satisfaction of success. But even after more than eight hours of sleep, I still felt unsettled.

I didn’t know why.

“Yesterday, Helares accepted my proposal.”

Helares had placed a condition on setting a validity period for marriage. As the perfect partner, it was understandable to feel a little disappointed.

“That may be so, but shouldn’t I first rejoice that I was the one to convince him?”

I wanted to extend the validity of the marriage, but that was a worry for later. My most important goal was the act of marriage itself.

Ultimately, what mattered was that Helares had accepted the proposal and that I had minimized the damage to my reputation. My improving reputation wouldn’t worsen—but why couldn’t I feel happiness even after gaining this certainty after three fierce debates?

It was strange. I felt unfamiliar even to myself.

“I’ve always been like this.”

Even when there were multiple issues to solve, overcoming one big obstacle gave me a sense of pride and joy.

Various thoughts cluttered my mind. Frowning slightly, I reflected:

“…Logically, my most important goal was to get married to Helares, wasn’t it?”

More precisely, a temporary “marriage” might not completely satisfy me. Even as I questioned this, my mind was filled with question marks.