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Chapter 18
He was so tall that Amber had to tilt her head up to meet his eyes.
Thanks to the soft glow of the candlelight, the lines that made up the man appeared more distinct than usual. In addition, dark shadows formed under his eyes.
Those shadows gave Amber a strange sense of tension.
Just as Amber unconsciously swallowed, Calix spoke.
“Yes, I was waiting for you, my Lady.”
His voice, as young and immature as before, unconsciously reassured Amber.
“In the future, you may go to sleep first without me.”
Amber, trying to move as naturally as possible, picked up the nightdress the maids had prepared in advance. She went into the small room attached to the bedchamber to change.
Since she had been wearing a simple dress she had put on to go see Xenia, she could undress alone, but it still took quite some time.
Amber moved her hands leisurely, without rushing.
Because she had never imagined Calix would be waiting for her.
After putting on her nightdress and coming out to the bedchamber, Amber was surprised to see Calix standing rooted to the same spot, waiting for her.
*’Why isn’t he sleeping?’*
Amber couldn’t understand Calix at all.
*’Does he not want to sleep in the same place as me?’*
That thought crossed her mind.
*’But there’s only one bed…’*
She looked around the room, but aside from the bed, there was no place to lie down.
There was a stool attached to the vanity, but it was small and had no backrest. The sofa in the corner of the room was plush and had a backrest, but it was also small.
“You skipped… dinner as well, I see.”
While Amber was looking around the room, Calix spoke.
“You always talk about meals whenever you see me.”
For him, it was a remark he had managed to utter after hundreds of agonies, but Amber replied without much thought. Flustered, Calix’s face turned bright red.
Whether fortunate or not, the candlelight was dim, and Amber didn’t notice his reddened face.
After examining the room, Amber ultimately found no place to sleep separately.
She glanced at Calix, but he had his head down, saying nothing, staring fixedly at the floor.
*’I couldn’t find a place… but I suppose it doesn’t really matter.’*
She thought that since he had come into the bedchamber of his own accord, he must have resigned himself to sleeping in the same bed.
“I didn’t eat dinner because I was attending to other matters.”
Amber answered Calix’s question belatedly.
“Oh, right. Besides Xenia, I hired two more maids as personal attendants. Their names are Sonya and Luna.”
She didn’t think he would be interested, but she felt she should report it, so she spoke.
“You did well.”
Calix answered immediately without a moment’s delay.
“I plan to give them special treatment. After all, they are the first people I’ve brought in since coming to the East.”
“You’ve thought well. Do so.”
Again, an immediate answer.
Amber raised one eyebrow.
“And I decided with Heinrich where to use the dowry. He will report to you soon.”
“The dowry?”
She had expected another perfunctory “well done” this time, but that wasn’t the case.
“Where have you decided to use it… No, never mind.”
Calix, who had been about to ask, hastily changed his words.
It seemed his words about returning the entire dowry to Amber were not just for show. He truly did not add a single word about Amber’s dowry.
Amber found his attitude somewhat new.
This silence was slightly different from the brusqueness or indifference he had shown her to the point of nausea.
Amber tried to pinpoint exactly what the difference was, but she couldn’t quite grasp it.
“I’ll receive the report from Heinrich tomorrow and approve whatever needs my approval.”
With the dowry discussion finished, an awkward silence once again pervaded the bedchamber.
There were so many times when words stopped between the two of them that Amber had now become capable of distinguishing the silences that flowed between her and Calix by color.
For example, the silence in the study earlier had been a red one, filled with tense hostility. The silence during lunch had been an awkward green, and now…
*’Now it’s night, and relatively peaceful, so perhaps navy?’*
Now that she thought about it, Calix’s irises were also navy. Like the night sky.
“Shall we sleep now?”
Amber asked Calix, who was still staring at her like a statue.
At Amber’s question, Calix flinched violently.
“Pardon?”
He asked back blankly.
“Unless you plan to stand there all night, we should get into bed soon.”
Saying that, Amber skillfully lifted the duvet and sat on the edge of the bed. The nightgown was long and full enough that even if she moved comfortably, no bare skin was exposed.
“Is it alright if I share the bed with you?”
Sitting on the bed, Amber looked up at Calix and asked. She thought it would be fine, but asked just in case.
But upon hearing the words “share the bed,” Calix’s face turned pale.
“…Do you dislike it that much?”
At this point, even Amber couldn’t help but feel offended. It wasn’t anything more than just sleeping next to each other, yet he was reacting as if terrified.
Offended, Amber pushed aside the duvet and rose, trying to squeeze herself onto the small sofa.
Just then.
*’Wait…?’*
A thought flickered through Amber’s mind.
Amber, about to place her hand on the back of the sofa, stopped and turned around.
“My Lady…”
Calix called out to her with a cracked voice.
He couldn’t bring himself to approach Amber, but neither could he go somewhere else; he stood there in an ambiguous posture.
“W-Well, you and I…”
He tried to say something, but then suddenly scowled and closed his mouth.
“Ah, ah, right, that’s it.”
Amber, on the other hand, looked relieved, having clearly figured out what had been puzzling her.
“We haven’t agreed on how to handle our sleeping arrangements yet, have we?”
Calix’s face turned as red as it could possibly get.
In her past life, Amber and Calix had their first physical relationship six years after their marriage.
Until then, Calix had avoided sleeping with Amber under all sorts of bizarre pretexts, including frequent expeditions and monster subjugations.
But in this life, since he wasn’t going on an expedition, the couple would, by custom, have their wedding night.
Of course, just because it was their wedding night didn’t mean Amber had any desire to go through with it.
With the cold memories of her past life still intact, how could she want to be intimate with Calix?
*’To meet my child again, I will have to have a relationship with him someday, but…’*
That would be much later. Pregnancy would come in the summer of her twenty-eighth year.
Meaning there was no need to have a relationship until then.
Amber wanted to postpone having a relationship with him for as long as she could. She thought Calix would feel the same way.
So Amber wasn’t particularly tense.
“Come here. Let’s talk.”
Still sitting on the bed, Amber patted the spot next to her.
Because there was no place to sit facing each other for a conversation except side by side on the bed.
Calix approached the bed stiffly with a hardened face. But he couldn’t bring himself to sit next to her.
He just stood silently, looking down at her.
The candle on the nightstand flickered greatly, perhaps from melted wax dripping down.
Amber, looking up at him while sitting on the bed, was suddenly seized by a strange sensation.
In the flickering candlelight, shadows fell and disappeared on the nape of his neck and collarbone revealed beneath his shirt collar.
Her husband’s body, that of a dutiful knight who didn’t neglect training even before experiencing battle, was truly solid.
The scarless muscles were exceptionally smooth and perfectly balanced.
His arms, revealed beneath rolled-up sleeves, looked strong enough to easily lift someone of Amber’s size, while the backs of his hands were exceptionally elegant.
If her husband after experiencing war was like a fierce beast, her young husband before experiencing war was like a sculpture a artist had painstakingly completed.
Before she knew it, Amber had braced her hands on the bed and retreated backward.
The eyes of Calix, looking down at her, deepened. An inexplicable shadow fell over his once purely clear navy eyes.
That sight was like…
*’What is this, what am I thinking right now.’*
Amber shook her head to shake off the pointless thoughts.
“Sit down quickly.”
Then she spoke in as calm a tone as she could muster.
At her voice, Calix snapped to his senses like someone waking from a spell.
“Y-You mean… next to you?”
The strange, dangerous aura disappeared in an instant, and her husband became foolish again.
“You can sit across from me. Either way, we need to talk.”
Amber patted the bed again.
Calix approached hesitantly and perched on the edge of the bed.
It seemed to Amber that he didn’t want to get anywhere near her.
“About having a relationship.”
At Amber’s words, Calix, who had barely perched on the bed, jumped up again.
“…I’m not suggesting it, so don’t worry.”
Amber sighed and pulled Calix back down to sit. Though he could easily have shaken off her hand, Calix followed her lead like a paper doll.
“Pardon?”
Calix, sitting next to her again, stiff as a stone, asked back with a confused face.
“I’m saying we don’t have to do it.”
Amber emphasized again.
“It would be a trial for both of us, so let’s not.”
“A… trial?”
“Isn’t it?”
At Amber’s question, Calix’s eyes shook violently. He didn’t ask further and closed his mouth.
“We’ll just sleep in the same bed, and if we act reasonably composed tomorrow morning, everyone will think we’ve had our wedding night.”
“You’re saying we should put on an act.”
“It’s all for show anyway.”
Amber shrugged.
“No one would notice even if we act. How fortunate that the nonsensical custom of checking bloodstains was abolished ten years ago.”
There was a time when a priest would stand guard outside the bridal chamber all night, check for bloodstains in the morning, and declare the consummation of the marriage. Brides who hadn’t consummated the marriage were driven from the castle.
“But it would be a problem if others found out that we didn’t have our wedding night.”
Even now that the custom has been abolished, if news gets out that the wedding night wasn’t consummated, the bride is treated poorly within the castle. And sometimes, she is thought of as lacking, as an inadequate woman.
Amber never wanted to be treated that way again.
Even now, thinking of the people who whispered that the lack of an heir to the Duchy of Thales was all Amber’s fault, her body trembled with indignation and humiliation. Those negative emotions were clearly reflected on Amber’s face.
Seeing Amber like that, Calix’s eyes darkened somberly.
“We have no choice in this matter. You promised to respect me and do what is necessary as a married couple.”
Suddenly remembering that in her past life, Calix had continued to postpone their wedding night without caring about the whispers in the castle, Amber spoke urgently.
“I…”
Just then, Calix opened his mouth.
