ITETD 38

Chapter 38

When I told Calix my throat was burning…

‘Wait… is this what I meant by “burning”?’

It was such a ridiculous mix of emotions—confusion and disbelief.

‘So I really was almost poisoned, huh?’

Whoever did that must be insane. Trying to kill me in front of all those people?

I didn’t expect my life to be in danger the moment I arrived at the palace.

‘Is this some plot twist from the original story? Or a scheme by the Emperor?’

If I’m this shaken up, how shocked must Calix be?

That’s when I finally thought of him.

‘Where is Calix?’

I quickly looked around.

A ceiling I didn’t recognize. A ridiculously soft bed.

And then, at the edge of my vision—

‘What the—?!’

There was Calix, looking like a ghost. He lifted his head and met my eyes.

‘How long has he been standing there like that?’

He had definitely seen me wake up, yet he hadn’t moved an inch. Not even close by—he was standing all the way across the room.

‘Wait… don’t tell me I’ve been unconscious for a whole year and he’s taken care of everything already?’

That thought flashed across my mind. And honestly—

‘His face looks that bad.’

“Cal… khm, ahem.”

I tried to call out to him, but my throat felt like it had been scraped with sandpaper.

Now I noticed—I had no strength left. I couldn’t even lift a finger.

‘…Was it really a year?’

Did the Emperor already die while I was out? That kind of thing?

I looked at Calix desperately, searching for answers. That’s when he finally pushed off the wall and stood straight.

He spoke slowly, like someone who hadn’t said a word in days. His voice was so low.

“…You’ve only been asleep for a week.”

Thank goodness. That means the Emperor isn’t dead yet.

I let out a sigh of relief in my heart.

Calix kept talking.

“The palace is on lockdown. They’re trying to catch whoever poisoned your glass.”

I listened quietly. Calix avoided my eyes and covered part of his face with his hand.

“You… even after you collapsed, you kept convulsing, over and over… The doctor said you really almost—”

His voice shook as he said it. Then he stopped. He couldn’t continue.

I opened my dry mouth.

“Calix…”

But then he spoke first—and what he said was unexpected.

“…Hit me.”

‘Huh?’

Did I hear him wrong?

But no—he had more to say. Still not looking at me, he continued.

“I broke my promise. Hit me as much as you want. As much as it hurt you…”

He looked like he was in pain. That pain was written all over his face.

“And tell me. ‘Why didn’t you protect me?’”

‘I can’t even move a finger right now…’

Hit you? Me? Right now?

‘What does he mean, “as much as it hurt me”?’

I blinked instead. Lifting my body wasn’t an option.

“Water.”

Finally, Calix came over. He picked up the pitcher on the table and filled a cup.

I thought he’d hand it to me.

‘Wait… why is he drinking it?’

I stared in disbelief as he gulped it down, still watching me, then brought the half-empty cup over.

I looked at him, unimpressed.

“Drink.”

“…I can’t sit up.”

He gently supported my back and helped me up. That small touch almost brought me to tears.

I drank from the cup he held to my lips like it was the nectar of life.

The cool water helped. My throat still hurt, but I could finally speak.

Before he could move away, I quickly grabbed his sleeve. I was afraid he’d distance himself again.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“…What do you mean?”

He looked down at my hand holding his sleeve and asked.

Frustrated, my words came out blunt.

“What’s with all that nonsense?”

“What nonsense?”

“Telling me to hit you, asking why you didn’t protect me…”

“…Was I wrong?”

His reaction was firmer than I expected.

“I know you’re weak now, but once you’re better, hit me all you want.”

“…”

“And I’ll take responsibility for breaking my promise too. But…”

“…”

“…the only thing I won’t allow is you leaving me. Anything else—I’ll give you.”

That was enough.

I clenched my jaw and spat it out.

“What kind of crap are you saying?”

“…”

“I’m not going to hit you. I don’t even have the strength to lift a finger.”

“Then once you’re better…”

“Even when I’m better, I’m not going to hit you. You’re just running your mouth now.”

Calix suddenly spoke in a low, chilling voice.

“Then if you won’t, I will.”

Before I could stop him, he pulled out his sword.

‘Is he insane?!’

“Stop!”

I shouted urgently. In an instant, black shadowy hands shot out and grabbed his arms and sword.

“…”

“…”

The hands had come from the shadows of nearby objects.

Even I didn’t know I could do something like that.

But that didn’t matter now—Calix came first.

“Put the sword away.”

“…”

I glared at him.

“You’re really going to fight me like this? When I’m still hurt?”

Only then did Calix sheathe the sword. But I wasn’t satisfied. I used magic to pull the sword from his sheath and fling it far into the corner.

Calix didn’t say anything as he watched it fly.

I dismissed the shadowy hands and let out a deep sigh.

‘Stay calm. Deep breaths.’

I raised my head and met his eyes.

“You told me to say it, so I will.”

I cleared my throat and spoke. Calix nodded like he was bracing himself.

But I had no intention of saying what he wanted to hear. Instead, I asked:

“Why didn’t you protect yourself?”

“…What?”

“You said I should ask why you didn’t protect me. So I’m asking—why didn’t you protect yourself?”

It was twisting his words, sure. But I kept going.

“Look at your face. You look like a wreck. Even without me, you should’ve taken care of yourself. So why didn’t you?”

“That’s not what I meant…”

“Is that so? Well, that’s how I took it. So tell me—why didn’t you protect yourself?”

Calix went silent.

I took that chance to look him over carefully.

“Did you sleep properly? Did you eat? Don’t tell me you haven’t eaten once since that day.”

He didn’t answer. Not that I expected him to.

“Did you think hurting yourself while waiting for me would make me happy? And your first words to me were ‘hit me’? Shouldn’t you be asking if I’m okay first?”

“…”

“You were really worried about me, weren’t you? Then just say that. Don’t spout some stupid line about wanting me to hit you.”

I grumbled as I finished. My throat hurt again.

“Water.”

Calix mechanically poured another glass, drank from it first, and handed it to me.

That’s when I realized—he was acting like a royal taster, testing for poison.

I glared at him, annoyed, but what choice did I have? I still couldn’t move properly.

After he helped me drink again, I spoke.

“Don’t drink it first. Just give it to me. I don’t like drinking after someone else.”

“Didn’t we already kiss? And this bothers you?”

“That’s totally different!”

I protested, but I forgot—he wasn’t in a state to be reasoned with.

He responded with a blank face:

“Too bad. Deal with it.”

He said it like it was the most obvious truth. I knew no words could change his mind.

“And you wanted me to say how worried you were, right?”

I nodded. And then Calix made a face I’d never seen before—he sneered like a villain.

“And what difference would that make?”

I froze. I had never seen him like this. Never heard him talk like that.

“You think it’s stupid?”

“…”

He muttered, low and shaky. Each word fell like a weight.

“But I was serious.”

“You were serious about telling me to hit you?”

I asked, genuinely speechless.

Calix grabbed the headboard. His knuckles turned white.

Without looking at me, he said in a hollow voice:

“What would I have done if you had died?”

“…”

“Every night I watched you, thinking—if you don’t wake up, I’ll follow you.”

I held my breath.

“That’s why I stayed beside you. So that if your heart stopped, I could go with you. Because I don’t want to live in a world without you.”

‘What about revenge on the Emperor?’

I wanted to ask—but it was like he heard my thoughts. He laughed bitterly.

“The Emperor? Revenge? What’s the point of that—if you’re gone?”

“…”

“And now you want me to explain how worried I was? How could I even begin to say it, after what happened five years ago…”