IMLM 22

Chapter : 22

Leonard, who had been head-butted by me, didn’t say anything for a long time.

It was enough to make me wonder if he’d taken a hit wrong and broken his brain.

Watching him sit there holding his reddened forehead without even seeming to feel pain, I was the one who finally opened my mouth.

“Are you planning to leave like this again?”

“…Huh?”

Leonard answered me with a dumb look on his face.
I couldn’t help a bitter laugh — as if he hadn’t expected me to show up.

Funny. That’s what I’d like to ask him.

How could he possibly think I wouldn’t come?

“I asked if you’re leaving like this again. Last time, you took a carriage and disappeared just like this and then suddenly showed up after you’d grown up. And not a single letter from you the entire time.”

“Ah…”

“So what is it this time? You’re not going to write again and then come visit me as a ghost after you die?”

“…”

“Oh wait, no. You’ll live longer than I will, so I guess that won’t happen. Maybe I’ll die first.”

“…Loreina.”

Leonard’s voice dropped low, sounding angry.
I felt the arms wrapped around me tighten.

So what.
What does he want me to do.

“You calling my name like that doesn’t scare me one bit. You think I’m being harsh? Not at all. The harsh one here is you.”

I glared up at Leonard’s stiff face towering over me.
It annoyed me that he didn’t look away from my eyes even now.

He listens to me so well, so why is he acting like this?

“You pour out every thought inside you and then expect me to just say ‘I see’ and let you go? You thought I’d be relieved you weren’t going to the imperial palace and sleep soundly?”

“…Loreina, that’s not it.”

“What happens if I don’t say I’m fine? You clearly don’t want to talk about it, so am I supposed to drag it out of you one question at a time? Fine. Then I’ll ask.”

“…”

“Why didn’t you send even one letter in four years? Do you know what I thought while staring at my unanswered letters?”

“…Loreina.”

Leonard could only whisper my name. Nothing more came out.

And maybe that was the trigger.
Tears poured out like someone had dumped a bucket of water in my eyes.

“Oh. Something happened to Zen.”

“…”

“I knew it. We shouldn’t have sent him away like that. It’s my fault. If I’d just thought a bit harder and held him back, you wouldn’t have cut contact like that.”

For the last four years that thought had tortured me every night.
Zen leaving the Amelio estate found its way into every nightmare.

And every nightmare ended with me hearing Zen was dead.

I’d wake up drowning in guilt.
Telling myself it wasn’t my fault never helped.

It was my fault.
I knew exactly what it meant to be an illegitimate child in this world, and I still let him go.

“If only I hadn’t sent him off that day. Then Zen would have…”

“I’m sorry.”

“…”

“I didn’t think it through. It’s all my fault.”

Leonard cupped the back of my neck and pulled me tightly into his chest.

“So don’t cry. Please.”

His awkward hand patting my back only made me cry harder.

The truth was, Leonard hadn’t done anything wrong.
I knew he had no choice.
He couldn’t send letters when secrecy was critical.

But I didn’t want to understand that right now.
I wanted to blame him.

He had gone through something terrible and still called himself a monster, and yet he had room in his heart to comfort me like this.

He had told me his darkest secrets and yet taken no measure against me — only left to protect me.

I loved that part of him, and I resented it desperately.

Only now did I understand what he must have been feeling that night when he climbed into my balcony and talked with me.

I knew he was in agony and yet I couldn’t think of anything to ease it.

So why is he the one choosing the painful road?

But I couldn’t say that to him, so I hid behind the nightmares that haunted me and cried.

After a long while I finally pulled away from him.

“…sniff. I’m coming with you. I’m going to the imperial palace too.”

“…Loreina.”

“I’m serious. You can see I brought my bag, right?”

I lifted a travel bag that was practically my size, wiping away tears.
Leonard sighed softly when he saw it.

“Loreina, I’m not the kid you used to know.”

“Who doesn’t know that? It’s obvious.”

“…I’m not joking.”

“Neither am I.”

Of course I knew exactly what he meant — maybe even better than he did.

“I’m a very selfish person.”

“I know that too.”

Selfish?
I could give him a run for his money.
I wasn’t doing this out of pure goodwill.

No matter what changes, the safest place in the world will always be beside Leonard.

Since I wasn’t affected by the curse, that was even more true.
Maybe being near him would even dodge the death meant for a background extra like me.

Compared to Celia, who approached Leonard without wanting anything in return, I was something entirely different.

So Leonard was not the one who should feel sorry.

Actually, I did consider giving up halfway.

When Leonard walked out of the parlor earlier, I suddenly wondered if staying by his side was truly the right thing.

Facing his pain up close had shattered me.
Was it really okay to use him as a lifeline?

It twisted my head into knots — but not for long.
I reached my answer.

If Leonard needed me, that was enough.
I would help him however I could.

“You said you hate it when I say I’m fine, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then how about this—what if I say I need you?”

“…”

“I need you. Do you need me?”

My whole body trembled.
Those words took everything I had.

“Enough that no one else could replace me?”

Leonard let out a long sigh and nodded.

“…Don’t ask the obvious.”

It was the perfect answer.

“Then it’s fine. I’m going.”

That was all I needed to hear.

“Leonard Zen Derkian, I’m staying by your side.”

A thrill rushed through me the moment I said it.

Leonard was the first person ever to tell me he needed me — only me.

And hearing those magic words made me feel like I could do anything.

I’ll help you, no matter what.

And I’ll make sure you’re happy.

Until the heroine shows up — I’ll make you smile, even a little more each day.
I packed my bags and made that promise.

Leonard stared at my calm expression, his face twisting.

“This is your last chance, Loreina. Once time passes, I really won’t be able to let you go.”

“…”

“…And you’ll still come with me?”

His voice wavered — almost crying — and I nodded without hesitation.

“Yes.”

At that single small word filled with so many meanings, Leonard made a face I couldn’t tell was laughter or tears.

But I knew it leaned toward happy.

Afraid I’d change my mind, he lifted me straight up from the ground and carried me into the carriage.

When I raised my head, Leonard’s lips curled into a deeply satisfied smile.

Of course, it didn’t last.

“Haha…”

Leonard and I weren’t the only ones in the carriage.
Gerald climbed in after us, laughing awkwardly.

Leonard grimaced — not like we had a choice.

Mary was coming too, so someone had to share this carriage.
Might as well be someone who knew about the curse.

“Ahem. Then I’ll explain what Lady Amelio needs to do from now on.”

“All right.”

I smiled reassuringly at flustered Gerald and shot Leonard a glare.

Stop staring at me like that.
You saw me bawling my eyes out earlier — I should be the one embarrassed here.

Noticing my look, Leonard sighed deeply and turned to the window.

After a stretch of silence, he muttered,

“…Should’ve just gone in my true form and flown.”

…Sorry, but I decline.
I’d rather not die in a fall ending.

“So, what exactly am I supposed to do?”

“It’s simple. Record His Majesty’s daily schedule.”

“…That’s it?”

That was too easy.
Anybody could do that.

Gerald must’ve read my mind; he chuckled.

“Easy to say — but not just anyone can.”

“Writing down the emperor’s daily schedule?”

“No. If you write it down on paper, someone could steal it.”

“Then…”

Gerald smiled again as I trailed off.

He’d been smiling nonstop since earlier — must be nice to drop the ‘abusive older brother’ act.

“Store it, neatly, in your head.”

“…Sorry, what?”

Store what in my head?

I suddenly remembered a certain singer famous when I was in school and shook my head.
Focus. This is not the time.

“So what you mean is, you want me to watch everything the emperor does and memorize it? Because elves have good memory?”

“You understood perfectly.”

Gerald clapped his hands, looking pleased.
I couldn’t help feeling a tiny bit flattered.

Maybe I was being played, but whatever.

“As I said, your job is to memorize His Majesty’s day. Every single day.”

“All of it?”

“If that’s too much, just the most memorable or significant events of the day. That’s fine too.”

“Okay, I get it.”

I nodded vigorously like a model student.

In other words…

“You want me to be His Majesty’s walking diary?”

“Correct!”

Gerald beamed and clapped again — adding a little extra request as if it were nothing.

“And it’d be even better if you read the diary entries aloud to him every night!”

I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry.

Most romance-fantasy transmigrators become princesses, fiancées of major characters, or noble ladies.

…And me? What even am I?

It’s bad enough being a doomed extra — now I’m a diary?

I muttered a curse under my breath and gave up thinking.

Well, it’s not like my luck ever ran good in the first place.

I noticed something strange after the carriage had been rolling for a while.

This isn’t the road to the capital.

What was even stranger was how familiar the scenery looked.
Was I imagining it?

“Where are we going?”

“A place you know well.”

“If we keep going this way, it leads to where the Crucia Festival was held…”

I trailed off just in case — and Leonard’s lips curled.

I knew it.

“Why are we going there?”

“We have business.”

“…Are you trying to see the festival? Crucia only happens in spring—”

“Even if there’s no festival, the trees would still be there, right?”

His voice held a hint of unease.

I nodded.

True enough — unless someone chopped them down.

“Then it’s fine. I’m not going to enjoy the festival. I have business with the wishing tree.”

“The wishing tree? To make a wish?”

“Yeah. My last wish came true. Seems like it works. So I wanted to make another one.”

Oh.
Right. Zen’s wish back then was to stay with me.

“So what are you wishing for this time?”

“Hmm…”

Leonard smiled faintly and tilted his head, eyes softening.

“It’s a secret.”

“What? How big could it be if you have to hide it? Don’t tell me it’s another ‘I want to stay with—’”

The second it left my mouth, a chill ran down my spine.

Cold sweat trickled down my back.

…Ah.
I screwed up.

And sure enough, a trembling voice came from across from me.

Followed by Gerald’s tiny, awkward cough.

“…How do you know about that?”