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Chapter 02
“Even now, looking back, it’s absurd.”
Still, once the affection passed around 55, thankfully it didn’t drop easily. Of course, I still died a few more times.
With barely any intuition and dozens of deaths, grinding through it like bashing my head against a wall, finally! The wish ticket I’d longed for so desperately fell into my hands.
Even in moments when I wanted to give up, I kept going, looking only at this wish ticket.
To be more precise, I pressed on while thinking of the beloved people I would be able to see again by using this wish ticket.
“Use wish ticket.”
—
**[Item: ‘One Wish Ticket from the System for Your Hard Work! (1 use)’ used]**
Please state your wish.
—
“Take me back to my original world.”
Now I can go back.
My cozy home. My family who loved and trusted me more than I loved myself. My friends who were with me through hard times and happy times alike. My ordinary yet stable daily life.
I would be getting everything back.
*’Dad, just wait a little longer. I’m coming right now……’*
—
**[!Error!]**
You must state a wish that can be processed within the system’s capabilities.
—
……What?
“What are you talking about. Stop joking and send me back to the house I used to live in.”
—
**[!Error!]**
You must state a wish that can be processed within the system’s capabilities.
—
“No, are you kidding me? You said it was a wish ticket that grants anything. Send me back to the Republic of Korea! Let me go back to my original family!”
—
**[!Error!]**
You must state a wish that can be processed within the system’s capabilities.
—
“What the……”
I was left speechless from sheer absurdity.
*’What is this?’*
I’d struggled tooth and nail, catering to those family members’ whims and surviving, all because I thought that using the wish ticket would naturally let me return to my original world. And now this system was spouting nonsense?
For a moment, rage surged up, but I gritted my teeth and forced down my emotions.
*’Don’t get excited. Getting worked up here won’t help anything.’*
I took a small, deep breath.
“Then how can I return to my original world? Tell me a way I can go back.”
—
**[!Error!]**
You must state a wish that can be processed within the system’s capabilities.
—
“No, what the f*ck!”
It hadn’t even been five seconds since I resolved not to get excited, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
I slammed my hand down on the bedside table beside me, and a sharp, tingling pain shot up through my hand. My hand trembled from the pain and anger.
But what washed over me even more than those was an indescribable feeling of deflation.
This wasn’t right. Seriously.
I really thought I could go back this round.
I’d pushed myself even harder, thinking that……
And now, faced with the despairing fact that I still couldn’t return, all the strength drained from my body. I couldn’t even stand, so I slid down the wall and slumped onto the floor, crouching.
I’d struggled all the way to the goal, only to find out it was all a fake.
It felt like I’d been hurled from the summit straight down to rock bottom.
If this was how it was going to be, they shouldn’t have put ‘anything’ in the description. There’s no way they didn’t know my wish was to leave this damned world and go home—so why were they messing with me like this?
Truly, a sh*tty world and a sh*tty system—a match made in hell. If only everything would just go to hell……
—
*Ding!*
—
……Does this system have no situational awareness?
While I was lamenting and repeatedly banging the back of my head against the wall like a woodpecker, the system’s alarm rang again—a sound I was sick and tired of hearing.
Bitter and irritated, I lifted my head and checked the text on the system, wondering what it was this time.
—
**[Wish: ‘If only everything would just go to hell’ has been processed]**
The item ‘One Wish Ticket from the System for Your Hard Work! (1 use)’ has been consumed.
—
“……?”
What was this now?
Blink, blink. Dazedly, I opened and closed my eyes, rereading the text several times.
Wait, did I actually say that out loud without realizing it……?
Stuck in a buffering state, I stood there stupidly. But the moment I realized what I’d just done, I jolted up in shock and waved my hands frantically.
“No, wait! No! Cancel the wish!”
—
**[!Cancellation is not possible!]**
—
Hey, you crazy system.
—
* * *
The Barderia family—one of the founding meritorious houses that greatly contributed to the establishment of the Luminies Empire alongside the first Emperor.
The wealth of Chervil, the wisdom of Daar, the strength of Barderia.
Among them, the Barderia family was the Emperor’s most faithful sword and the sturdiest shield protecting the empire.
Their loyalty was so unshakable that even on his deathbed, the first Duke Barderia worried only about the nation. He left his final words to his son: *”Serve His Majesty the Emperor faithfully with your very life.”*
The ancestor’s testament was deeply etched into the blood of the loyal Barderia line.
Even after several hundred years, they continue to uphold the founder’s will to this day.
From the moment they’re born, they live their lives for the Emperor and the nation. They held neither complaints nor doubts about that.
As if it were ingrained in their very DNA, they are born with the temperament of protectors—as if they were made to defend the country.
Strength, boldness, and at times, a cold-bloodedness that can cut away even what is precious to them.
However, mutations exist everywhere.
The third child of the Duke of Barderia—a young lady who, unusually, possessed none of the family’s distinctive traits.
With her straw-colored hair, soft and gentle appearance stood out starkly among her father and brothers, who all had sharp features and red-toned hair.
But it wasn’t just her looks.
Among her extraordinary siblings, the young lady had a notably fragile disposition.
She was timid, weak-willed, unable to properly assert her opinions, and had no particular talents. She was so frail that even a small animal rushing at her seemed like she couldn’t protect herself.
She couldn’t even lift a sword—let alone possess the swordsmanship that was considered essential for any Barderia—and she wasn’t particularly clever or strategic enough to be of use to the family either.
*’The young lady is not worthy of bearing the Barderia name!’*
That was the unspoken evaluation passed down by the vassals.
The Barderia family valued ability above all else. In such a household, it was only natural that an incompetent young lady would be treated as a burden.
For that reason, despite being the only daughter of the Barderia family, she was a mere figurehead who received no proper treatment.
That was my story. Damn it……
To be precise, it was the story of before I regained my Korean self-awareness—that is, during the first round.
The expressions that defined me back then—now a long-past memory—would be: ‘stupid,’ ‘pushover-like,’ ‘foolish,’ and ‘incompetent.’
Before I recovered my memories, I had no skills and lived only looking at the family who hated me. Back then, even though I lived in such a vast world, I thought my family was everything.
So why did they hate me, their family, so much?
The first reason, as mentioned above, was that Barderia was a household that valued ability above all.
In particular, the Duke and Gwyneth were practically perfectionists. So of course, I—inadequate and clumsy—must have seemed disgustingly beneath the family’s standing.
The second reason wasn’t certain. It was just a hypothesis I was convinced of on my own.
Combining the fact that the Duchess died giving birth to me, and the fact that stories about her were strictly taboo in the mansion—especially in front of Gwyneth—gives rise to a very common cliché.
Gwyneth was only five when I was born, and Felix was three.
No matter how extraordinary they were, they were still children. Especially at an age where parents are their whole world, right? I think it’s a reasonable hypothesis.
Anyway, the two siblings tormented me mercilessly when we were young.
Gwyneth’s methods were cunning and persistent, while Felix’s were simple and aggressive.
There was no direct physical assault, but their actions were no different from violence. They made people shrink back, constantly gnawing away at their hearts.
The household servants, afraid of falling out of favor with the two siblings, would either avoid me when they saw me or greet me briefly before scurrying away. As time passed, they began to treat me as if I didn’t exist.
I could understand that much, but occasionally, there were madmen who, noticing my pushover nature, would cross the line and take advantage.
All of this happened under the Duke’s tacit approval.
In this kind of atmosphere, the Duke’s brother and his wife died, and their only child, Kairos, came to the household as an adopted son.
For reference, Kairos was only four years old at the time.
It’s a mistake to think children don’t understand anything. Children are incredibly perceptive of the atmosphere—especially Kairos, who was far more sensitive in that regard than other kids his age.
So it was only natural that Kairos would come to look down on me.
Regardless of the circumstances, there was no reason for me—the victim in these relationships—to understand them, but back then, I silently accepted everything.
