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Chapter 22
‘There isn’t an idiot in the world bigger than me.’
From the morning, Noah burned with fever and trembled.
On top of the rash act she had committed in anger, the suppressed rage had flared up, and now she was suffering from her first bad flu in years.
Once, Ami had cursed at her and Reto, calling them “unparalleled idiots.” That insult now felt perfectly accurate.
“Unni…”
Clare, who had finished getting ready for school, scurried into the room.
“Are you really sick? You can’t go to work?”
Her small hand slowly rested on Noah’s forehead.
“You’re burning up…”
Clare’s face crumpled.
Her sister’s face was flushed from fever, trembling under thick blankets as though even that wasn’t enough—she looked frightening.
Noah, however, found her little sister terribly cute and stuck her finger out from beneath the blanket, poking Clare’s chubby cheek.
“What is it? You’re worried I won’t be able to earn money?”
“…Yeah.”
“…”
“I’m joking, unni.”
“Honestly, I nearly cried just now.”
With a dry laugh, Noah shivered and sighed.
“Unni! Why are you like this?”
Clare burst into near-tears, panicking.
“Don’t die, pleeease!”
“Don’t say unlucky things like that…”
Her words only made Noah feel more drained.
“Young miss.”
Just then, As appeared like a savior.
“It’s time to go to school.”
“I can’t today! I have to take care of unni. If I leave, she’ll die!”
“As, please just take her out of here…”
“You see? The fact that she’s talking means she’s perfectly fine. Doesn’t sound like someone on their deathbed.”
“Is there no one in this house on my side…?”
As finally managed to drag the stubborn Clare out of the room.
“Please take your medicine. Ah—did you contact the unit?”
“…”
“…Do it.”
“Alright.”
As had much more to say but wisely closed the door and left.
Alone, Noah shut her eyes and burrowed deeper under the blanket.
The quiet made every little sound stand out more sharply—the voices of Clare and As beyond the door, the ticking of her room clock, the chirping of birds outside.
And then, the familiar sound of a car engine.
As soon as she recognized whose car it was—
“…What face do you have, coming here?”
Noah asked sharply as the uninvited visitor appeared.
“I had permission to enter.”
Reto smirked.
“The homeowner doesn’t remember giving permission…”
“The head of the household is Miss Clare.”
“….”
Noah’s fever-dulled eyes twitched. More surprising than Clare allowing him in was the fact that the shameless man hadn’t called her “sister-in-law,” as he usually did.
As if reading her mind, Reto sat down by her bedside.
“I can be tactful, too.”
“You should’ve shown it earlier.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Though she couldn’t see his face, Noah knew what expression he wore.
“…Should’ve realized sooner.”
A late confession.
“So.”
Noah’s fevered voice lacked its usual edge.
“Why did you come?”
“You’re not throwing me out?”
“If my household’s head gave permission, I have no right to.”
“Clare is the strongest one here.”
Reto remembered the fearless little girl who had glared at him earlier.
“Is unni sick because of you? Do you want a beating?”
“Young miss, don’t look at dirty things. It’ll ruin your eyes.”
“As, don’t hold me back! I’ll make him bleed today!”
“I’m not even holding you.”
“…Well, hold me then. Did you hold me? Don’t let go, okay? Tch, don’t think I’m sparing you because of As!”
He had nearly burst out laughing then but managed to hold it back, apologized, and was only then allowed into this room.
“There’s no little lady as lovely as her.”
“My sister’s always been lovely.”
“When I see Clare, I can almost imagine what you were like as a child.”
They were sisters with a large age gap. Before her sister was born, Noah must have been showered with their parents’ love.
“You must’ve been that cute, too.”
“I…”
Noah, against her will, recalled a bit of her childhood—then cut it short.
“…Why are you really here?”
“Who knows.”
Reto didn’t mention the strange distance between them he had felt.
“If I said I came because I was worried about someone I love and cherish, you wouldn’t believe me.”
“And now you call it love?”
Hiding behind the excuse of being her superior—pathetic.
Noah didn’t bother to hide her disdain, and Reto didn’t deny it.
“Pitiful, huh?”
“At least you know.”
Annoyed, Noah pulled the blanket up over her nose, but still peeked out to keep Reto’s back in sight.
Just then, Reto turned his face toward her.
“…Did you cry?”
“No.”
But his eyes were red.
“I just stayed up too late.”
“You came here to blame me?”
“Not exactly. Or maybe yes?”
With a slippery smile, Reto glanced around the room.
Noah’s room was nothing like he’d imagined—stuffed with little trinkets, books scattered around, magazines stacked in a mess, a cluttered desk, and a shabby blanket draped over the chair.
‘She’s no good at tidying.’
This was a Noah he didn’t recognize. But it gave him a realization.
“…If I had asked, you would’ve told me, wouldn’t you?”
The day they returned from Marais Academy—
“You’re always honest, upright, and beautiful.”
“I’ve heard that before.”
“That’s why you act so stubbornly.”
“You knew?”
“Of course.”
They repeated that conversation once more, but now, there was one difference.
“…I came to apologize.”
Reto finally confessed.
“Director Flancy wanted to use you against me.”
“Because officers being promoted to field rank get temporarily assigned to the Supply Command?”
“As expected, you figured it out.”
Because you never told me, I had to find out myself, Noah grumbled inwardly.
Reto continued.
“He’d been embezzling military funds for quite a while. Even made secret contact with Imperial brokers.”
The illegal ship smuggling plan was the same.
“They were going to pin it all on you—to get me tangled up. If things went normally, you’d have been promoted to Major. It was nearly guaranteed.”
Because you were that good.
He praised her achievements.
“So you blocked my promotion?”
“That, and…”
“….”
“…I didn’t want you leaving me behind.”
He admitted his selfishness.
At that, Noah’s sharp glare softened slightly.
“You even took the sword on purpose?”
Officers promoted to field rank received a ceremonial sword from the state. If she had been promoted, Noah should’ve gotten one. Somehow, Reto had swiped it first.
“You seemed unusually attached to it.”
Like a child stealing a toy to get attention.
“Pathetic and petty, right?”
“….”
“Miserable, too.”
Reto clasped his hands atop his knees.
It took him a while to speak again.
“…Soil.”
He asked quietly.
“Have you ever eaten dirt?”
“….”
Noah didn’t answer, just tried to sit up. She swayed, and Reto quickly caught her.
“You okay?”
“Y-yeah…”
“Want me to lay you back down?”
“No, just… help me sit.”
With his help, Noah leaned against the headboard.
“Is it that shocking?”
Her bewildered face contrasted with his calmness.
“Should I not say it?”
“If you don’t, I really won’t see you again.”
At her stubborn warning, Reto laughed—happy that she was speaking casually to him again.
“I starved a lot.”
He began.
“My bastard of a father abandoned me and my mother.”
He was obsessed with appearances, even scheming to keep them hidden from the world.
“…But my mother was kind.”
Until she died.
“Falling for a married man was the beginning of her misfortune. Thinking back, her end was fitting, in a way.”
“….”
“But I don’t resent her. She whispered that she loved me, right until her last breath.”
But a dead woman’s love couldn’t save a child left behind.
“So I ran away.”
Escaping his father’s watch had been lucky. What came after wasn’t.
“I won’t give details.”
A street child’s life was always the same.
Sleeping outside in the cold, being beaten and robbed by other urchins—it was nothing.
The real agony was hunger.
Finding bread in the trash was a feast. When there was nothing, he dug up wild roots in the mountains.
And when there was nothing at all—
“…Dirt isn’t food.”
If the Marquis of Oceanus hadn’t found him during a search, he would’ve died.
“I was afraid of it.”
The dirt he once clutched in his small hand.
The mother who abandoned him by dying.
The father who discarded them.
The wounds of childhood left cruel scars, and Reto had only realized them in unexpected moments.
Unpaved roads made him nauseous, he hated walking late at night, and he became a coward unable to confess his feelings.
“That’s why I joined the navy—so I could work in a place with the least dirt.”
“….”
“I’m fine now.”
He smiled wryly, though admitted he still disliked training on sandy beaches.
But Noah couldn’t laugh along.
“…So that’s your excuse.”
His unasked-for confession ended.
“You can get better now.”
Still smiling, Reto looked only at her.
Noah’s blue eyes trembled.
“You bastard.”
