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Chapter 34
“W–what do you mean…!”
El panicked and tried to pull her hand away. But the more she struggled, the more his lips pressed insistently against her wound.
“Try giving me your best shot at loving me.”
With every word he murmured against her skin, her blood seeped into his lips.
Beneath the darkness, his blood-stained mouth looked like that of a devil—one who would utterly ruin her soul and drown it in pleasure.
“That’s what I want from you. That’s why I brought you here.”
How sweet, and yet how selfish those words were.
Just how deeply could Caron see through her? El felt as if she were completely stripped bare before him.
Could he even see through her heart? Perhaps he could.
“And what, exactly, do you intend to use my love for?”
Her voice trembled pitifully. She tried to clear her throat, but it only stung painfully.
Caron gave a languid smile, like a lion satisfied after a full meal.
“To satisfy my hunger, of course. And in the end, it will be used for Feiros.”
“……”
“What’s wrong? Does that upset you?”
“No, no… it doesn’t….”
“El. Why do you think I brought you here?”
“Last time you asked if I could marry without love… so, won’t you use me for a political alliance?”
“Something like that.”
It felt as though someone was clawing at her chest and gripping her heart. Each of his words was a shard of glass, cutting ruthlessly into her.
“…Is that truly what you desire, Caron?”
“Yes.”
Slowly, Caron pulled his lips away. Even in the darkness, they glistened red.
“Then I will follow you with everything I have. My life and my soul already belong to you.”
“More than that—call me with a little tenderness. Otherwise it feels too much like we’re merely master and servant.”
Hearing the faint amusement in his tone, El stiffened.
Was everything a joke to him, except matters of his family?
“…How could I possibly—”
“I liked it, earlier. When you called only my name.”
“……”
So he had heard everything from the start.
Resentment at him for pretending to sleep, and shame at her own reckless words, both welled up inside her.
“Call my name, El.”
“…Caron.”
“Well done. From now on, be that gentle with me. The more witnesses there are, the better.”
“……”
This wasn’t how she wanted to call him. From the beginning, El had judged her feelings to be ‘impure.’
She wanted to serve him forever—not stand beside him.
She had seen many kinds of people. Some devoted their whole lives to a single profession, but she had never seen anyone devote their entire life to a single love.
Love was like milk with a short shelf life—destined to spoil in the end.
El didn’t want to become spoiled with Caron. That was why she would rather worship him.
But Caron, as if he were some god who could see through everything, laid this trial before her.
“Rest now, El.”
Caron rose easily to his feet, opened a drawer, and handed her some ointment.
But El was in no state to tend to wounds.
Her insides were in too much disarray to even feel the pain in her body.
And yet, the more broken she seemed, the more lazily and deeply Caron’s lips curved in a smile.
“Who knows? Perhaps you’ll guard my side for a lifetime.”
It was a cruel hope—the most merciless trial of all.
“Milady, how about a little change of pace?”
Anna fidgeted nervously as she watched El. The inspection had ended earlier than usual—rare in itself—and El had returned covered in injuries.
El had refused to show the wounds, so no one knew how bad they were. The rumor was that she had rolled hard across the ground.
But what business would a noble lady ever have rolling on dirt?
Anna didn’t believe the story entirely.
“Anna, I’m really feeling fine enough right now.”
“…Milady.”
Clearly something had happened. Anna wished El would just break down and show it openly instead of bottling it up.
But El faithfully attended every lesson, answered every letter she received with lengthy replies, and even handled reports about the estate inspections.
Except for Anna, who served closest to her, no one suspected that anything was wrong.
“I feel like doing some transcription. Could you fetch me this book from the library? Sorry to trouble you.”
“Yes, of course.”
Anna accepted the note with forced cheer.
Normally, El would have gone herself to pick out the book. Yet now, she was apologetically asking Anna instead.
It was impossible not to notice—this was because of the Lord.
El was blatantly avoiding Caron. She steered clear of any place he might be and drooped her gaze at even the mention of his name.
“Oh, by the way, Milady.”
“Yes?”
“Why not visit the kitchen? The staff have been wondering why you haven’t come by lately. They’d be delighted to see you.”
At Anna’s suggestion, El’s face brightened.
“Ah, I didn’t even think of that. Thank you, Anna! What should I bring with me?”
“Even empty-handed, they’ll be glad to see you.”
“No, Anna. Nobody likes it when the one they serve keeps hovering around their workplace without bringing anything. I should take something.”
El had spoken casually, but Anna couldn’t shake the thought.
Not every maid adored El, but compared to before, most now accepted her as a true noble lady. She had even been granted the title of baroness.
Some had even begun to admire her. El herself was the only one oblivious to it.
“Then how about giving them notebooks? Decorating notebooks is all the rage among the maids these days. For us, notebooks are a bit of a luxury, so they make perfect little gifts.”
“That’s a wonderful idea!”
As if her gloomy expression had never been there, El clapped her hands, visibly delighted.
She loved giving things to the maids.
Anna often warned that it would spoil them, but El always answered that just being able to give someone a gift was a marvelous, joyful thing.
They were no longer struggling to put food on the table. Why be selfish now? With such abundance, why not share?
“I’ll fetch the notebooks right away. We have plenty in storage.”
“Would you?”
Before leaving, Anna glanced back.
El’s face was so bright with excitement, she looked like a girl preparing a surprise gift.
“Hello! It’s been a while. Have you all been well?”
Carrying a bag stuffed with notebooks, El entered the kitchen.
During breaks, most of the maids gathered there to snack and chat.
By chance, she had come right at that time, so there were quite a few of them.
“Milady! You’ve been so busy! Goodness, you look half your size!”
“We were waiting for you to come learn cake-making, but you never came!”
The maids rushed toward El, their faces brimming with delight.
“Thank you all for worrying about me. I’ve just had a lot of work.”
“Please, come sit down! Oh, what’s all this?”
“Presents for you. I heard notebook-decorating is popular lately.”
Blushing slightly, El handed them the bag. The maids, surprised at first, quickly broke into chatter as they examined the notebooks.
“Wow! Milady, you’re the best!”
“Can I take this pink one?”
“Of course. Everyone, pick whichever you like.”
In no time, all the notebooks were gone—thankfully, the numbers matched perfectly.
“They’re so pretty!”
“I’m just glad you’re happy.”
After the cheerful commotion, El joined them to learn how to make strawberry shortcake.
She liked cooking; it kept her focused and free from unwanted thoughts.
“Wow, Milady! It’s finished!”
“You all did most of the work.”
“Next time, try making it on your own. Just tell us ahead of time—we’ll have all the ingredients and tools ready.”
“Thank you for being so thoughtful. Ah, Anna must be waiting. I should go. Thank you for today.”
Waving goodbye, El packed up her now-empty bag and left the kitchen.
Just as she was about to walk away, the maids’ conversation caught her ear.
“They say we’ll be having guests at the mansion?”
“Who?”
“I heard it from Anna….”
“From Anna? She usually keeps her mouth shut.”
“She said we’d better make some preparations.”
“So who’s coming?”
“Well, it’s….”
Their voices suddenly dropped.
Unconsciously, El paused and strained to listen. Guests? She hadn’t heard anything about that.
(To be continued in the next chapter)
