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Chapter 18
Contrary to her confident claims that she would be fine, Lauren’s complexion was poor from the very morning. Seeing her pale cheeks, drained of color, Aster furrowed his brows, while Lauren let out a dry, hollow laugh.
“She skipped breakfast this morning as well.”
“B-But I felt like I would get indigestion if I ate.”
At Calvin’s low remark made through narrowed eyes, Lauren offered a small excuse. Letting out a huffing breath, Aster issued an order to Calvin.
“Bring her some warm milk mixed with honey.”
“Yes, Your Grace.”
Responding briefly, Calvin bowed his head and left the office. Watching his retreating back, Lauren released a faint sigh. To Aster’s ears, that sigh sounded far too heavy.
“Are you worried?”
“Worried… I’m not sure. I don’t know if I’m worried, or just nervous.”
Lauren looked a bit anxious. Since Delania was someone desperate to find even the smallest fault in her and blow it out of proportion, it was only natural for her to be nervous and worried. Aster knew this better than anyone. He, too, once had someone like that in his life.
“It’ll be fine.”
Without realizing it, he rested his hand on Lauren’s head. Then, he gently caressed her hair. His touch was exceedingly soft. As Lauren raised her gaze, his smiling face with narrowed eyes came into view.
“You’ve prepared your absolute best. It’ll be alright, Lauren.”
“Of course. There’s not a single thing for her to find fault with. The servants of the ducal house are thoroughly competent.”
Lauren murmured softly as if reassuring herself, then smiled. Yet, trying to force a smile with a pale face only made her look pitiful. Aster stroked her head a couple more times before lifting his hand away. Her jet-black hair was so smooth to the touch that he felt if he didn’t stop in time, he would end up mindlessly stroking it indefinitely.
“Glad to hear it.”
Aster subtly lowered his gaze to gauge Lauren’s reaction. Would she feel like I’m treating her like a child? That wasn’t my intention. Fortunately, she showed no sign of offense. Somehow, Aster felt genuinely relieved. And the moment he realized he felt relieved by it, he caught himself by surprise.
“Aster?”
When he hurriedly pulled back his hand with a furrowed brow, Lauren called his name as if checking to see if something was wrong. Aster twisted his lips and swept back his hair. For some reason lately, he kept getting caught up in useless thoughts. Was this also because he had returned from a battlefield where he had risked his life and now finally had room to breathe? He firmly swallowed down the sigh trying to break free.
“Anyway, it would be best to stop today’s work by noon. Leti isn’t here to review the documents either.”
“Oh dear. If you dump all the tedious tasks on her, Leti will have a hard time.”
“That’s precisely why I hired her with a high salary.”
Crossing her arms, Lauren narrowed her eyes and looked at him. At the lighthearted joke, Aster let out a brief chuckle. He was able to laugh naturally as usual again. He had returned to his normal self. It was fine now.
“In any case,” Aster continued. That wasn’t what was important.
“Don’t skip lunch. Don’t starve yourself claiming you can’t digest it—eat at least a little.”
“…Uh-huh.”
Unable to answer properly, Lauren pulled her shoulders in. Her lavender eyes rolled about as she looked up at him. Feeling somewhat like he was scolding a child, Aster formed a bitter smile.
* * *
Is there really a need to go this far with preparations? Lauren sighed inside the bathtub. Soaking deeply in the bathtub infused with fragrances and floating flower petals, she was receiving care from Anna and Lize. Perhaps thanks to the two of them massaging her thoroughly with scented oil, her skin radiated a bright, smooth glow.
Anna wrapped Lauren’s body in a towel and led her to sit in front of the dressing table. The hands drying the moisture off her were gentle and meticulous. For some reason, drowsiness crept up on her. It was likely partly due to not sleeping well last night. Whether the feeling filling her head was nervousness or worry, she still wasn’t quite sure.
Even so, following Aster’s advice to get ready early seemed to have been the right choice. After being thoroughly kneaded by the hands of the two in the bathtub, she came out and sat before the vanity in a camisole and drawers. There was no time to be nervous, nor any luxury to worry. Feeling languid, Lauren stared blankly into the mirror. Lize opened the cosmetics case, while Anna stood behind her holding a comb. The movements of both pairs of hands were full of devotion.
“It’s not like I’m attending a banquet… I feel like this is a bit too much.”
It had been too tiresome to bring up earlier, and the two looked so excited that she had kept her mouth shut, but Lauren ultimately ended up sighing. The dress Lize brought out after finishing her makeup was far too luxurious. Although the clothes Jasmine brought from the Aloria Dress Shop were tailored to her tastes, occasionally, overly flashy pieces like this stood out.
Of course, even if it was “excessive,” that was strictly by Lauren’s standards.
“Too much? Not at all! His Grace specifically asked us to dress you up in a manner fitting the grandeur of the ducal house.”
If the grandeur of the ducal house was invoked in a situation like this, Lauren had nothing to say. With furrowed brows, Lauren swept her eyes across the few dresses Lize had laid out. Her head felt dizzy from the floral patterns, lace, and lavishly decorated ribbons and jewels. There wasn’t a single plain, comfortable dress in a solid color that she preferred.
Lauren pulled up one corner of her lips. With her eyebrows knit, it naturally turned into a bitter smile. What was it that Delania had said upon seeing the clothes she wore? Had she called them ‘clothes that still look like something a governess would wear’? In truth, compared to what Delania wore, every single piece of Lauren’s attire was made of high-quality fabric, but Delania wouldn’t care about such things. She simply looked down on it because it didn’t look flashy in her eyes.
Had Aster heard what that girl said? Had he thought her usual attire didn’t suit a ducal house? Well, since Lauren had been closer to an administrator of the ducal house than a Duchess, perhaps he hadn’t brought it up until now.
However, a ‘guest’ had arrived at the ducal mansion—even if it was debatable whether Delania could be called a guest. Be that as it may, now there was a need to dress in a way that wouldn’t bring shame in the eyes of others. Like a true Duchess. Lauren exhaled lightly and pointed her fingertip at one dress. It was a summer dress with a subtle color tone, decorated with wide frills at the hem of the skirt and a delicate floral pattern.
“An excellent choice! I think it will look absolutely wonderful on you!”
Clapping her hands together, Lize gave a few instructions to Anna, who had just set down the comb, and then helped her dress. Anna returned to the dressing room, brought out a large jewelry box, and began placing various items against her neck and ears to try them out.
“Lize, how about this one?”
“Rather than that one, wouldn’t the one next to it be better?”
“Ah, right! This matches Madam’s eyes much better.”
Even the voices of the two maidservants sharing opinions sounded cheerful. She didn’t even feel like stopping them anymore. Lauren stared blankly into the mirror. This single dress alone probably cost about a month’s worth of living expenses for the Barony. She had never once imagined she would end up wearing clothes like this.
“You are truly beautiful, Madam.”
Lize, who had decorated the neatly braided hair woven with ribbons by inserting several jewel hairpins, smiled with satisfaction. Lauren touched the delphinium-shaped necklace around her neck with an awkward touch. The cool sensation of the gems was something she couldn’t get used to no matter how often they touched her skin—much like her reflection beyond the mirror.
* * *
“Madam, the guest has arrived.”
At Calvin’s voice coming from beyond the door, Lauren took a deep breath and stood up from her seat. Her eyes landed on the clock above the mantelpiece. Is she a bit late for the appointment? It was behavior typical of Delania, who always wanted to be the center of attention wherever she went. Manners were likely not important to that girl in the slightest.
She headed toward the mansion’s lobby together with Calvin. In the middle of the lobby, where the setting evening sunlight poured through the large windows, Delania stood like the protagonist of a novel. Delania’s dark brown hair, which at a glance almost looked black, shimmered brown in the light. Lauren smoothed down her forming scowl and smiled at her cousin.
“Welcome, Delania.”
“Are there no servants in this mansion? Keeping a person waiting like this!”
Delania grumbled with a dissatisfied attitude. One could hardly think of her as an invited guest. Wasn’t the person who arrived late in the wrong to begin with? Lauren’s forcibly raised lips trembled slightly.
“I see. Come this way. I will guide you straight to the dining room.”
Lauren swallowed down a sigh and began walking ahead. While walking down the short hallway, she felt Delania’s gaze assessing her up and down from behind.
“It seems you really are the Duchess after all.”
She knew she shouldn’t react. Yet, Lauren unwittingly stopped in her tracks and turned back to look at Delania. Delania was smiling toward her with narrowed brown eyes. That smile was far from pleasant.
“…What do you mean by that?”
“Just what I said. You finally look a bit like nobility. You should have dressed like that from the start. I guess after I made a comment about you wearing clothes like a governess, your pride as the mighty Duchess was hurt.”
What is she talking about right now? The crease between Lauren’s brows, which she had tried so hard to smooth out, deepened. However, regardless of how she reacted, Delania was someone who always said whatever she wanted to say. That was true when they were young, and it was true now. Even her complete lack of consideration for how others might take it remained entirely unchanged.
“Delania.”
“Isn’t it true? No matter how much you act all high and mighty talking about territories and titles, once you get married, all you end up doing anyway is guarding a mansion like this.”
Delania’s mean-spirited smile flew toward Lauren. Lauren parted her lips to find words of rebuttal, but soon bit her lip tightly and turned her head away. For a brief moment, though she hated to admit it, she had thought Delania’s words were right. Delania’s snort of laughter, as if saying ‘See?’, echoed in her ears.
Chewing on her lip, Lauren finally drew a breath and turned her body around. Raising her eyes, she made eye contact with Calvin, who was standing quietly aside and watching. Noticing that their conversation was over, he gave a subtle nod and began stepping ahead of the two once more. Whether it was just her imagination or not, his usually gentle gaze felt slightly cold.
It’s only natural. The person holding the position of Duchess bowing her head, unable to handle a single young lady from a mere baronial family—and her own cousin at that.
In the eyes of someone who had guarded this ducal mansion for a long time, she might look downright pathetic. Lauren closed her eyes tightly and opened them. Lately, a thought crossed her mind every now and then: Perhaps I really am not suitable for the position of Duchess. No matter how much it was to find a way to survive, rushing into the ducal mansion might have been a mistake after all.
If one is a Duchess, one should stand proud before others. One shouldn’t feel awkward in magnificent attire. She couldn’t just live as she pleased, the way she used to in the Barony. It wasn’t a position one could just occupy simply because one knew how to handle a bit of administrative work. The moment she recalled that, Lauren suddenly felt suffocated. The ‘wife’ Duke Aster Lilywood needed wasn’t a mere pretext to avoid marriage with the Imperial Princess, nor was it a competent administrator.
‘For mutual benefit.’
Lauren realized anew just how shallow and meaningless that single phrase she had uttered truly was.
