FCMD 17

Chapter 17

“After all, we’ll have to dance together anyway.”

Lauren didn’t answer. She simply blinked her widened eyes, staring at him blankly. Unable to just stand there waiting for her response, Aster spoke up first. He then crossed his arms and leaned back against the chair. For some reason, he wanted to appear relaxed in front of her.

“Uh, is that really alright?”

“There’s no reason it shouldn’t be.”

“Wow, thank you so much! I’m not sure if I’ll do well, but I’ll try my best!”

A spark of light suddenly flared in Lauren’s light-purple eyes, which had been trembling with worry just moments before. A bright smile spread across her illuminated face. Aster couldn’t tear his eyes away from her face. She was so radiant, so breathtakingly beautiful.

Wait.

At the thought that suddenly surged over him, he covered his mouth and quickly lowered his head.

“Aster?”

“Ah, no. It’s nothing.”

Aster hurriedly waved his hand. He couldn’t stop the heat from rising to his face. He couldn’t even understand himself—what kind of stupid thought had he just had? Right now, he felt as if he were making the same absent-minded face his academy classmates made whenever they talked about their fiancées or the opera singers they were infatuated with. Fearing Lauren might catch on, Aster took a deep breath to erase the thought from his head.

“Um, Aster.”

Aster raised his eyes at the sound of Lauren calling his name. As if she had never had bright, sparkling eyes in the first place, her brows were now furrowed.

Ah, right. He understood why she made that kind of expression. That woman—her cousin—was scheduled to arrive tomorrow. He had briefly forgotten about it because of the Imperial Ball invitation. She was a greedy woman who didn’t know her place, so obvious that even he, seeing her for the first time tomorrow, would be able to tell at a glance. There was no way the smart Lauren couldn’t handle such a woman. So, there shouldn’t be any need to worry.

However, he didn’t know much about her personal circumstances. Of course, he had thoroughly memorized the results of the investigation, but there were things a few lines of a report couldn’t capture. There had to be a reason why Lauren froze when she faced Delania Seaz. It seemed difficult for her to talk about. Lauren, with her head lowered, quietly fiddled with the rim of her teacup.

“Lauren, as I said yesterday, you don’t have to force yourself to speak—”

“No. I want you to listen. In order to face Delania, I need to prepare myself in my own way…”

Did she mean that just talking to him would help her make that ‘mental preparation’? Aster gazed quietly into her face. Lauren smiled without even lifting her gaze. Her smile somehow looked painful. He hadn’t wanted to see that kind of face. Aster found himself furrowing his brows just like her.

​* * *

“That’s just… how it happened. I’m sorry. Now that I’ve said it out loud, it’s really not that big of a deal.”

After a long while, the story came to an end. Lauren, who had confessed in a low, whispering voice, downed her cold tea in one gulp. Then, she let out a long sigh. She raised her head to smile at Aster, who had been watching her with worried eyes the whole time, but he was leaning back with his arms crossed, staring intensely at his empty coffee cup with a grave expression.

Why was he making such a face? A face from much younger years, buried deep in her memories, suddenly overlapped with his current expression.

‘The Murderous Fiend,’ Aster Lilywood.

Lauren muttered his nickname under her breath. Seeing him like this made her think involuntarily: there was no one for whom the moniker ‘Murderous Fiend’ suited less than Aster. In truth, perhaps he hadn’t changed at all.

“I did a useless thing.”

Aster, leaning against the back of the settee, clicked his tongue. The gesture of sweeping back his loosened golden hair was rough. A useless thing… Although she herself had said it was no big deal, it was still a story she had summoned quite a lot of courage to tell. Even though she knew she shouldn’t, she felt a slight sting of disappointment.

“If I had known, I wouldn’t have invited that woman to dinner.”

However, Aster’s words were completely outside Lauren’s expectations.

“…Pardon?”

“Memories like that tend to linger for a very long time.”

Lauren couldn’t say anything. His gaze was somehow directed toward a distant place. What was Aster thinking about right now? Yet, Lauren couldn’t bring herself to ask him. His sunken green eyes seemed a little darker than usual.

“I’m sorry. For making you face someone you dislike.”

He bowed his head to her. Lauren had no choice but to shake her head.

“It’s alright now. Confessing it actually made my heart feel a bit lighter.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Aster smiled bitterly. Just a moment ago, she had been worrying about facing Delania right away. Perhaps because she had voiced it aloud, she felt that it would truly be okay, so Lauren smiled at him. She was able to smile with a much better feeling than before.

“So, it’ll be fine even if I face Delania. She’s nothing to me now.”

Right. She had to be nothing. It should have been that way long ago. Lauren held her two hands tightly together and thought so. Therefore, tomorrow, she had to be completely unfazed.

​* * *

Aster sat down and filled his glass. Today had been truly busy—so hectic his head was spinning.

After his conversation with Lauren ended, he called Calvin in. Even though he wanted to stop her because she still looked a bit distressed, she told Calvin herself that the people of the Seaz Baronial family were uncomfortable for her. While what was already promised couldn’t be helped, if they were to visit again in the future, she would prefer not to meet them if possible—speaking with her characteristic neat smile and firm demeanor.

Calvin bowed his head and apologized to her. Lauren accepted his apology steadfastly. Then, as if she had never suffered at all, she began preparing for the dinner. Hosting guests was the work of the Duchess, after all. He had known Lauren was talented at administrative work from serving as the proxy for Baron Seaz, but it seemed that wasn’t all.

Lauren, who had been focusing on decorating the mansion during her time here, turned a small room into a dining area in no time. When asked why she wasn’t using the current dining room, Lauren gave a bitter smile and replied that she didn’t want to yield the dining space she had been enjoying—and would continue to use—to such people. Then, she rolled her light-purple eyes and looked at him.

Lauren asked him if rearranging a new dining room for such an absurd reason was too much. Aster shook his head. In any case, the Duchess was Lauren. She could do whatever she pleased. Calvin expressed his agreement with his words as well. In the end, following her opinion, a temporary dining room was created in an instant.

Aster tilted his glass. His consciousness drifted away to the opposite side of the mansion, toward the darkened restricted area. He let out a dry laugh despite himself. No one could understand her heart better than Aster. No, that wasn’t true. Even Lauren, who had no fear of moving forward, might be disgusted if she learned about the malice sleeping in this duchy’s estate. Delania Seaz’s ‘malice’ was nothing more than a cute level compared to what Aster had endured—though he felt sorry toward Lauren, who had suffered from it.

Aster quietly watched Lauren work. Since it was a dinner with someone she disliked, she could have done a half-hearted job, but Lauren worked remarkably earnestly. From the paintings to hang on the wall of the temporary dining room to the flowers decorating the table, she checked everything herself. When Calvin stepped away to deliver the menu he had discussed with her to the kitchen, Lauren let out a long sigh.

Watching her like that made him feel a bit stifled, so Aster ended up offering some unwarranted interference. He asked if there was any need to prepare so diligently for someone she disliked. He felt his tone sounded somewhat curt, but thinking it was awkward to correct it, he just closed his mouth.

Although she could have used some rest, Lauren, who had barely finished guest preparations and was looking through documents again, raised her eyes to look at him. Her gaze seemed to ask why he was making such a question.

Aster couldn’t open his mouth. When he said nothing, Lauren set her pen down and smiled gently. She said that unless they hadn’t invited them at all, since it had already turned out this way, wasn’t it better to properly display the prestige of the ducal house? He nodded his head. The prestige of the ducal house. Something like that had long been lost. Unable to give a proper answer, he merely nodded, yet he couldn’t help but entertain such thoughts.

If Lauren found out, she would probably flee in horror. Choosing her as the Duchess was Aster’s decision, but he had no intention of telling her about the malice and secrets hidden in this ducal mansion. If she was lucky, she could go on living like this forever; if she was unlucky…

He needed to stop this train of thought. Aster shook his head vigorously. Such a thing must never happen. No more lives should be lost in this ducal mansion. Carrying the dishonorable title of ‘Murderous Fiend’ once was more than enough.

Emptying the glass in his hand in a single gulp, he recalled the contents of the report Garnet had brought. He remembered the burning desire for freedom that burned intensely in her light-purple eyes when they first met. That was something he knew all too well, as it was also something he had desperately wished for.

Lauren was a captivating woman. Even when he tried not to, his eyes kept wandering toward her, and seeing her smiling face brought a smile to his own. However, just because his eyes were drawn to her didn’t mean he could trap her in this ducal mansion. Lauren Seaz would become the next Baroness Seaz. Even if not right now, that was how it ultimately had to be. After all, she had lived her whole life up to now to inherit the baronial title.

He had to send her back. The place she belonged was the small, peaceful barony she loved so dearly. The daughter of Emel Seaz, who had saved him and his companions. Accepting her was to repay the debt he owed, but it should end at that.

Aster leaned back, resting his head on the armrest of the settee. Staring at the familiar ceiling, he bit his lip. His eyes wandering toward her… He suddenly felt a surge of irritation at his own thought. Was that why he had blurted out such a thing? Because the corners of her eyes had drooped so helplessly when she said she didn’t know how to dance. Even if there was the excuse of the Imperial Ball invitation, shouldn’t he have refrained from doing so? He had uttered a truly foolish proposal. He didn’t even know why he had said those words. Looking back, it was a ridiculous offer. At least it was a relief that Lauren had accepted it joyfully.

Still, he was genuinely glad she had cheered up. Aster truly thought so from the bottom of his heart.