BTA 06

chapter 06

 Kkeok (2)

Puppies and kittens are cute, of course, but among all newborn creatures, I dare say human babies are the cutest.

When you see one in person, you can hardly think of any words to describe them other than cute and adorable.

“Shall we go?”

On the tablet screen, the adorable little Maengkkong who had just woken up was letting me know that he was awake.

I quickly opened the bedroom door.

Click—

“Waaah~ Waaah~ Waaah~”

The baby’s cries rang out softly.

Since I immediately took care of whatever was making Maengkkong uncomfortable, his loud, distressed crying had gradually become less frequent compared to when I first heard it.

As I held Maengkkong snugly in my arms, the faint, distinctive scent of a baby filled the air, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Oh, oh~ Did our Maengkkong wake up?! Up we go!”

“Waaah~ Hic. Hng.”

“Oh, oh~ It’s okay, it’s okay~ Shall I check your diaper, Maengkkong?”

For parents with little experience holding a baby, such a tiny creature could feel frightening.

You couldn’t communicate with them, yet they cried at all hours of the day.

And they were so small and delicate that you might worry something terrible would happen if you handled them even a little clumsily.

But once time passed and the baby started walking, nine out of ten parents would miss those newborn days and regret not enjoying them more.

Why?

Because that was when they were at their cutest, and they hadn’t been able to fully appreciate holding them in their arms.

After changing Maengkkong’s diaper, I smiled brightly and met his eyes.

“Why are you so cute? Huh?! Our Maengkkong, why are you this adorable? Haha.”

“Heeya.”

“That’s it! Now, shall we go look around the house with big brother?”

Maengkkong blinked and stared intently at me.

His eyes still hadn’t quite learned how to focus properly, and his expression was vacant, but he was unbearably cute.

Of course, all babies were adorable, but Maengkkong was a little different.

You could almost call him a baby with fully developed good looks.

Even as a baby, his features were already distinct, and his face was full of life.

“Maengkkong, you’re going to be really popular when you grow up. Oh, right! You could even become an actor like your aunt.”

Soon, Maengkkong began opening and closing his mouth like a baby bird while rolling his eyes around.

I watched him because he was so cute, but then a low rumbling sound started coming from his throat.

He was probably getting ready to cry again.

“Oh, dear. You’re hungry again, huh? Wait. Big brother will make you some delicious formula.”

Beep, beep.

Trickle, trickle, trickle—

First, I filled the bottle with water using the formula kettle.

Then I added two scoops of formula and swirled it around. That was all there was to it.

Although it looked easy, properly mixing the formula without creating bubbles or letting the powder stick to the inside of the bottle required some skill.

“Here, Maengkkong. Let’s have some formula~”

Smack, smack. Smack.

Maengkkong sucked eagerly on the nipple with his lips pursed like little fish lips.

“Is it good? That’s it~ You’re drinking so well.”

Once feeding was over, it was time to burp him.

“Up we go!”

I gently straightened the baby’s body from the feeding position and held him tightly against my chest again.

I was about to support his bottom and lift him slightly when I heard Ahn Hee-soo’s voice from behind me.

“Teacher!! What are you doing?!”

I turned around in surprise.

Ahn Hee-soo was staring at me with what looked like a slightly sulky expression.

She was holding a thick script rolled up in her hand.

I tilted my head in confusion.

“I just finished feeding him, so I’m about to burp him. …Why?”

“Seriously, that’s so mean. I told you to call me when the timing was right! I wanted you to teach me how to burp Maengkkong.”

She complained.

Since she apparently lacked basic childcare knowledge, she seemed to be relying on me quite a lot.

I grinned and replied.

“Ahh~ Haha. I was going to do it before I left work. You said you were reading your script in the study, so I let you concentrate. I’ll call you later, so read some more for now.”

Ahn Hee-soo looked back and forth between her script and Maengkkong before shaking her head.

“Whew. I don’t think I can today.”

“Why? Is something not working out?”

“Yes. Teacher, you know what? I can’t concentrate. It’s been so long since I’ve done this that I can’t get into the groove. And I’m sleepy, too.”

“If you’re sleepy, go to sleep.”

“No! They say you’ll gain weight if you eat and then sleep!”

Ahn Hee-soo tossed her script onto the table before walking briskly toward Maengkkong.

“Burping lesson, GOGO!”

“Oh. Ms. Hee-soo, are you ready?”

“Yes!!”

Ahn Hee-soo’s lips bloomed into a white smile as radiant as a magnolia in full bloom.

Ahn Hee-soo sat on the sofa, her large eyes shining.

With Maengkkong in her arms, she held out her hand.

“Curl your palm slightly. Make it rounded. Like this.”

“L-Like this?”

“That’s right. You shouldn’t keep your palm flat and pat him. Once you’ve shaped your hand like that—”

I gently pressed Maengkkong against my chest, then turned around to demonstrate.

“This is the basic position. You gently pat the left side of Maengkkong’s back here.”

“Ah~ So that’s where you pat.”

“Yes. When you pat, it shouldn’t be too hard, but it shouldn’t be too soft either. I’ll show you. Watch carefully.”

Pat, pat, pat, pat, pat—

“Burp.”

“Oh my?”

Maengkkong burped almost immediately after I started.

Ahn Hee-soo looked at me in surprise.

“Oh my goodness. That fast?”

“He was already upright, so it came out quickly this time. But we’re not done yet.”

“Huh? He just burped, didn’t he?”

“You should burp him for at least ten to fifteen minutes. You need to make sure he gets out all the little leftover burps, too. This time, instead of patting, I’ll show you how to encourage a burp by gently rubbing down the center of his back. Like this. Gently~ gently~ gently~”

Swish, swish, swish, swish—

“Burp.”

“Whoa?”

“Now, this is the quick method for burping him.”

I carefully sat Maengkkong on my thigh and supported his chin with my right hand.

“Watch. Hold him steady with your thigh, and use your left hand to keep Maengkkong’s body upright like this.”

“Ooh.”

“With your right hand, don’t grab his neck. Instead, gently support his chin like this. Then, with your left hand again—”

Pat, pat, pat, pat, pat—

“Burp.”

“…Wow.”

I gave a satisfied smile as I looked at Maengkkong’s comfortable expression after burping.

“That seems to have taken care of the little leftover burps, too. Now you just hold him warmly and comfortably like this and stay with him until he starts showing signs of sleepiness.”

Ahn Hee-soo gave me a thumbs-up.

“Burping genius! Teacher, you’re a genius babysitter! Wow~ Even YouTube doesn’t have an expert this good.”

“Even though what I just explained may look easy, it won’t be easy when you actually try it. The strength and intervals of the pats, for example. You have to slowly develop a feel for it while paying attention to Maengkkong’s reactions.”

“Ooooooh~”

Afterward, I thoroughly explained why babies needed to be burped after feeding.

Although she did ask one ridiculous question in the middle.

“Teacher, when you’re in a hurry, can’t you just give a newborn some digestive medicine?”

“Hmm. That’s a very foolish question.”

Regardless, she listened with genuine enthusiasm and dedication.

“Ms. Hee-soo, do you understand now?”

Ahn Hee-soo nodded in admiration.

“Heh heh. Yes. But wow. Teacher, you’re seriously an expert. Are all eldest sons of thirteen siblings that knowledgeable about childcare theory?”

“Unfortunately, I’ve never met another eldest son of thirteen siblings in my life.”

At that moment, Maengkkong blinked and let out a long yawn.

“Yaaawn~ Haaam.”

“Haha.”

“So cute!!”

After putting Maengkkong to sleep in the master bedroom, I carefully slipped out.

Ahn Hee-soo picked up her script again, her eyes sparkling.

“Teacher. I just got a little inspiration, so I need to go back and read my script.”

“Inspiration?”

Ahn Hee-soo nodded and held up her script.

“I’m only telling you this, but this is actually the first time since my debut that I’ve taken on the role of a mother.”

“Ahh~”

“I need to broaden the range of roles I can play before I turn thirty. I can’t keep relying on this beautiful face forever, can I? Ahem.”

“How about relying on shamelessness instead?”

“Ha! I’m pretty, aren’t I?”

“To me, Ms. Hee-soo is merely my employer and Maengkkong’s aunt.”

“Tch. I know everything. You think I’m pretty.”

Ahn Hee-soo put on a haughty expression.

She was slightly irritating, but I couldn’t deny that she had an exceptional appearance.

“Teacher, please teach me childcare properly. I thought taking care of my nephew would make me feel something like maternal love, but maybe because I lack the skills, all I feel is exhausted. I can’t sleep, and I’m dying here.”

“Haha. If that’s the case, then there’s a lot I need to teach you. There are a lot of events Maengkkong will go through before he turns six months old.”

“Events?”

The various milestones babies experience as they grow beyond the newborn stage.

Vaccinations, Wonder Weeks, sleep training, rolling over, teething, starting solid foods, and so on.

Of course, childcare education also involved age-appropriate games and activities to support development.

But Ahn Hee-soo was already exhausted from taking care of the baby, so I felt that telling her all of that would only frighten her more.

Instead, I gave her a meaningful smile and quickly changed the subject.

“But are you actually experiencing childcare for the sake of preparing for your role?”

“It wasn’t intentional. My older sister’s situation was a little complicated, so somehow things ended up like this. And since the role happens to be like this, I figured I might as well learn while I’m at it.”

“Oh. Still, it’s impressive that you’re connecting such an unexpected situation to your work.”

Ahn Hee-soo became serious and lowered her voice.

“Teacher. I’m nothing compared to some people. There’s a senior actress who experienced being homeless at Seoul Station because she wanted to immerse herself in a role. There was even another senior who went to a casino in Jeongseon, Gangwon Province to research someone addicted to gambling. She actually became addicted herself, went all the way to the Philippines, and gambled away her entire fortune.”

“Wow. The acting world is intense, too.”

It made me realize once again how impressive Ahn Hee-soo was, considering she was recognized as one of the top actresses in such a fierce industry.

Even though childcare must have been exhausting her, she continued reading her script without taking a break. And her determination to learn specifically for her role was admirable.

As I looked at the script in her hands, I unknowingly let my true feelings slip out.

“I don’t think I’ve ever truly loved something and immersed myself in it.”

“What do you mean! You’re the god of childcare!”

“I only became that way because I’m the eldest of thirteen siblings. Haha.”

Ahn Hee-soo grinned and asked,

“What is your dream, Teacher?”

“…My dream?”

My dream.

On my way home from work.

I got off at a bus stop in a remote part of the village and stopped by a convenience store first.

Because once I passed through the rice paddy path beside the convenience store, I’d be completely cut off from the outside world.

“I need to recharge my energy if I’m going to put the youngest to sleep again when I get home.”

I chewed on my sandwich while gazing at the scenery through the store’s floor-to-ceiling glass windows.

“Whew. It’s a work of art.”

It was a beautiful evening sky that I could never have seen in Seoul.

Had someone gathered all the stars in the world and stuck them up there?

They tickled the evening sky, making it giggle as darkness gradually spread across it.

“Have a good evening!”

Jingle~ Jingle~

I left the convenience store and looked properly up at the sky.

Suddenly, I wondered if those sparkling stars were perhaps dreams that people had failed to discover and had let slip away.

“Dream. Dream. A dream…”

It was a chilly and lonely evening, made all the more so by the fact that I had no dream of my own.

I walked for a long time, staring only at the path beneath my feet, when I heard the sound of thud-thud-thud and pant, pant from a distance.

“Haha.”

I quickly pulled some dog treats out of my backpack.

“Woof! Woof!”

“Woof woof woof!”

“Sit!”

“Pant— Heheheh—”

The trio of mixed-breed dogs circled around me excitedly, but the moment I took out the treats, they immediately sat down.

“Here, Seolgi gets one first.”

“Woof!”

The white dog was Seolgi.

The yellowish one was Hwanggu.

And then there was the pitch-black Kkamsi.

All of their names had been given to them by my younger siblings.

There was a house with a blue gate that was now abandoned.

The elderly woman who had lived there had passed away, leaving the dogs without an owner. Fortunately, the villagers had taken care of them together.

“Pant, pant, pant, pant—”

After eating their treats, the dogs happily began circling around me again.

Looking at their bright, innocent faces, I couldn’t help but smile.

“Guys, what are your dreams?”

“Woof woof!”

“Oh, you just achieved your dream? Your dream was eating treats? Haha.”

In truth, I was just like them.

I had simply chased after whatever needed to be done right in front of me, ignoring the ideals inside my heart.

Growing up in a crowded house with thirteen siblings, I had spent all my time taking care of my younger brothers and sisters.

I had never once allowed myself to dream of something that was truly my own.

Not even once.

I had been a fairly good student in school, but because of the pressures of reality, I chose a university and major where I could receive a scholarship.

That was the Department of Early Childhood Education at Jungang University, where I was currently enrolled.

I had simply chosen the major because it was what I was accustomed to.

After all, as the eldest of thirteen siblings, the only thing I was really good at—and the only thing I could do—was childcare.

My mother ran a welfare center, so I figured I’d build up some experience and eventually run the center together with her.

Fortunately, childcare suited my personality and aptitude quite well, so I enjoyed studying it throughout university.

But that didn’t mean it was truly the dream I wanted.

“Guys, big brother’s going now. See you tomorrow.”

“Woof woof woof!”

“Woof! Woof!”

To be honest, I was exhausted from being overwhelmed by my studies while working several part-time jobs.

I wanted to have at least a little breathing room before getting a proper job.

Then, by chance, I got the opportunity to work as a babysitter earning four million won a month.

It was a great opportunity.

“Haah. I’ve never really thought about it, so I don’t know. Maybe I should work as a babysitter while I figure out what I actually want to do?”

At that moment—

“Burp. …Haha.”

I burped.

It was unbelievably refreshing.

It wasn’t simply the moment when the sandwich I’d eaten at the convenience store had been digested.

It was the moment when my life, which had been completely blocked by reality for twenty-seven years, finally found a direction.

My heart began beating a little faster.

Eight-thirty at night.

I returned home, washed up, and immediately switched childcare duties with my third-youngest sibling, Yuji.

“Oppa. I set up some storybooks next to Wani’s bed.”

“Okay. Actually, Yuji. Do you want to try doing it tonight?”

Yuji shook her head firmly.

“No way. Even if I died and came back to life, I could never do it like you.”

“Why not? If you do it, you’ll get the hang of it.”

“Whew. No, no. How do you change your voice so quickly like that?”

“Haha, okay. You worked hard. Get some good rest.”

“Mhm~ You worked hard, too, Oppa.”

It was my job to read Wani storybooks as part of his bedtime routine until he fell asleep.

“Okay~ Wani. The storybook Big Brother is going to read tonight is called Shall We Go to Dreamland?”

“Aaah~ Eeeh~”

“Oh my! When the sun goes snore~ and falls asleep~! The moon comes out and paints the sky black~!”

“Eeeehhh~~”

By the third storybook, Wani’s eyes were gradually closing.

I closed the book and whispered softly.

“Sleep well~ Wani. See you tomorrow. I love you.”

Thinking about it, I had been responsible for the bedtime routines of almost all my younger siblings, not just Wani.

For more than twenty years, I’d been reading books to them like a professional storyteller, and during the day, I’d played pretend games with them.

As I was thinking about that, the script Ahn Hee-soo had been holding suddenly flashed through my mind like a shooting star.

Isn’t acting similar?