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Chapter 53
This is driving me crazy.
Why is Hansol acting like this too? Has the whole world decided to humiliate Noeul?
Is everyone watching Noeul making a fool of herself in front of Jiwoo, waiting to burst out laughing and say, “You actually believe that?”
If not that, then why is everyone trying so hard to confuse her?
Noeul thought she should deny whatever Hansol just said.
“What are you talking about?”
[ What do you mean, what am I talking about? You already know it too. ]
“What? You’re saying nonsense. Just go back to sleep if you’re going to talk like that.”
[ See? If you really thought I was saying nonsense, you’d be asking why I think that.
But you’re not. You’re just avoiding it—trying not to hear it. ]
Hansol was sharp.
Noeul replied defensively.
“Because I already know where this is going. You’re going to say, ‘That’s proof Jiwoo likes you,’ over something ridiculous.”
[ Wow, you’re funny. Do I usually make dumb arguments like that? You know I’m not like that.
Why do you only think that way when it’s about Jiwoo? ]
“Because you think too highly of me. You’ve lost your objectivity about me because we’re close.”
[ Listen, I have these two friends—Minsu and Hyoju. They’re close.
But Hyoju calls Minsu all the time, asks him out to eat, to drink.
And when other girls flirt with Minsu, Hyoju gets annoyed—sometimes she even stops them from approaching him. ]
Noeul knew exactly where Hansol was going with this.
But she didn’t interrupt—she wanted to hear how Jiwoo’s behavior might look from someone else’s perspective.
[ And then one day, Minsu bought Hyoju some bread.
She told everyone she met about it—how delicious it was, how Minsu remembered she liked that kind of bread after she’d only mentioned it once.
It wasn’t the first time either. Before that, she wore this outfit every day just because Minsu once said it looked good on her. ]
“…”
[ Now, if you were a third party—thinking objectively—what would you say? What does it look like Hyoju feels about Minsu? ]
“…That’s… assuming Minsu’s just an ordinary guy.
But if Minsu was really really really ugly, and Hyoju was really really really pretty, then it changes things.”
[ How does it change? ]
“Maybe Hyoju has some other motive.
Her actions look like she likes him, but her intentions could be different.”
[ Like what? What kind of motive? ]
“……”
Noeul fell silent.
Thoughts swirled in her head—Jiwoo’s just toying with you, Jiwoo wants people to think she’s the kind of kindhearted girl who doesn’t care about looks.
But she couldn’t bring herself to say it aloud.
Noeul told Hansol almost everything. Even thoughts that would sound cruel or cynical to others.
Hansol probably knew Noeul’s raw self better than anyone.
And yet—there were still things that could never be said.
Things every person carries to the grave.
Like the fact that deep down, Noeul sometimes thought of her friend as a hypocrite, even a jerk.
Hansol probably thought Noeul’s silence meant she just couldn’t think of an example.
[ See? There isn’t one, right?
You see how weird that is? Normally, you’re so smart and logical, but when it’s about this, you suddenly start talking nonsense.
You’re pretending this kind of situation is normal, even though you can’t back it up with a single example. ]
“……”
Hansol was right.
Noeul knew Jiwoo wasn’t that kind of person.
When Jiwoo cried and opened up to her, Noeul believed she was sincere.
And yet—again and again—she’d return to her old thoughts.
Even after confirming it, she couldn’t fully believe.
Could it be… that Hansol was right?
That Jiwoo really…?
Noeul’s heart fluttered with a strange mix of hope and joy.
It was such a weird argument.
Noeul was fighting desperately to prove her own beliefs were right—piling on every bit of reasoning she could muster.
But deep down, she wanted Hansol to win.
She wanted Hansol to make an argument so solid, so undeniable, that Noeul would have to believe her.
If Noeul said it, it was just delusion.
But if someone else said it, logically and clearly, then it wouldn’t be delusion anymore, would it?
What Noeul really wanted was for someone to tell her she wasn’t imagining things.
That Jiwoo truly liked her.
At this point, Hansol was holding a spear, and Noeul a shield.
The fiercer Noeul’s counterarguments, the sturdier that shield seemed.
How thick had that shield become after twenty years of protecting herself?
“Still… what I’m saying isn’t impossible, right?”
[ Sure. Nothing in the world is truly impossible.
So what—you’ll only believe Jiwoo likes you if there’s 100% proof? ]
“……”
[ Wow… you’re even more selfish than I thought. ]
The word selfish pierced Noeul’s ears.
Hansol continued.
[ You’re only thinking about getting hurt, huh?
Fine—say Jiwoo doesn’t like you. Yeah, you’d be hurt.
But what if I’m right?
What if she really does like you, and you keep pretending not to notice—don’t you think she’d get hurt?
You’re so focused on protecting yourself that you don’t even think about that. ]
“…Isn’t that what everyone does?
People always care more about their own pain than anyone else’s.”
[ Ha… You know what?
Even if Jiwoo confessed to you, hung a giant banner saying ‘I like Han Noeul’ all over school,
and held a press conference on TV declaring it to the world—you still wouldn’t believe it. ]
“……”
Noeul couldn’t deny it.
Because Hansol was right.
Even if Jiwoo did all that, Noeul still wouldn’t believe her.
She’d look for some hidden motive.
Because in Noeul’s world, a beautiful girl never likes an unattractive guy.
Jiwoo liking Noeul was simply not possible.
It was like a nonbeliever confronted by someone claiming to be God.
Even if they parted the sea, made it rain, or hid the sun, the skeptic would still say—
There must be a scientific explanation. A coincidence. A trick.
That was exactly where Noeul stood now.
Hansol wondered—had she said all that because she truly believed she was right?
Or because she wanted to see herself as the one who enlightened her friend—
someone brave enough to speak hard truths, to care deeply?
Was that why she’d said things like—
“Wow, you’re even more selfish than I thought.”
“You’re not thinking about how Jiwoo might get hurt.”
“Even if she confessed on TV, you still wouldn’t believe her.”
Hansol regretted sounding like she had all the answers.
As if, in Noeul’s place, she’d handle things better.
The truth was, if Hansol were in the same situation, she’d probably be even more irrational—more selfish.
Compared to her, Noeul was stronger.
Noeul carried her insecurities and still found a way to live with them.
Whether through denial or rationalization, at least she was surviving—cleverly, even.
Hansol was the weakest one.
The dumbest one.
And hiding that was the last shred of pride she had.
From a distance, Jiwoo and Noeul were walking toward her.
Jiwoo waved cheerfully.
Noeul looked slightly awkward—it was their first meeting since that last phone call—but she put on a casual face.
Hansol couldn’t even tell if she truly wanted Jiwoo and Noeul to end up together.
Maybe she just wanted to seem like a good friend—a decent person.
Han Noeul…
The one who confided in her most,
who spent the most time with her,
who wanted only Hansol to understand her—
yet also the one she didn’t want to possess in a selfish, unhealthy way.
Thankfully, that second feeling was still stronger.
So Hansol could still act according to what she believed was right.
…But how long could that last?
“Oh my gosh. Are you Hansol?”
Hansol turned toward the voice.
“…!”
Her face froze instantly.
The woman who called her had a flicker of emotions—surprise, recognition, awkwardness… and a hint of mockery.
Hansol glanced sideways at Noeul and Jiwoo.
They had slowed down, sensing something odd.
Even without an answer, the woman seemed certain.
“Wow, I didn’t even recognize you from a distance.
I was just thinking, ‘Wow, that girl’s really pretty,’ and—turns out it’s you.”
There was something derisive in her tone.
Could Jiwoo and Noeul hear this?
Hansol’s heart pounded. Her head spun. It didn’t feel real.
“The more I looked, the more familiar you seemed,” the woman continued.
“And I thought, who is she? I’d definitely remember someone this pretty…
Then it hit me—it was you.”
“Ah… right. …It’s been a while.”
Hansol forced a smile.
“Wow, such a small world! I can’t believe I ran into you here.
Give me your number—you changed it, right?”
“Uh… yeah.”
Hansol took the phone she was handed and typed in her number.
“Press the call button,” the woman said. “So I can save your number too.”
“…Sure.”
Hansol pressed it. Her own phone buzzed faintly in her pocket.
“Let’s catch up sometime. I’ll call you,” the woman said.
“…Yeah.”
The woman smiled and waved.
Hansol smiled back, lips trembling.
After she left, Jiwoo and Noeul approached.
“Friend of yours?” Noeul asked.
“Yeah…”
Noeul looked curious but didn’t press further.
“High school friend?” Jiwoo asked.
“Yeah…”
“Were you close?”
“Not really… just acquaintances.”
“Hmm…”
Jiwoo glanced back toward the woman once more.
Hansol quickly tried to change the subject.
“Let’s go. How much time before class?”
“Plenty—about twenty minutes. …But Hansol, that person…”
“……”
“Was she… a bully?”
“…Ah. Haha. No, nothing like that.”
Hansol laughed—awkwardly, even to her own ears.
“You okay?” Jiwoo asked gently.
“…Yeah. Of course. I’m fine.”
