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Chapter 52
“Wow, there are so many kinds.”
Jiwoo’s eyes widened as she looked around the merchandise shop. She carefully examined a figurine that had its head tucked under its arm.
“Would anyone really want something this creepy at home?”
Jiwoo said innocently, clearly curious.
Noeul lowered his voice.
“Probably everyone here is that kind of person.”
“Ah.”
Only then did Jiwoo glance around at the people nearby. Then, as if trying to correct herself, she said:
“Hmm… right. I shouldn’t say it’s creepy. That’s just my opinion. Why would anyone be afraid of a ghost without a head? Maybe that’s their charm. Hmm… from their perspective, maybe I’m the creepy one for having a head.”
—Why do you judge someone just by how they look? You scream thinking they’ll hurt you. Have you considered how that mummy feels?
Jiwoo seemed proud of her own thoughts. She looked at Noeul with a “Didn’t I do well?” expression, like a kid hoping to use what she learned at school and get praised for it.
Noeul felt a smile coming on at how cute Jiwoo was.
He forced himself not to laugh. If a pretty girl acted cute and he laughed, he’d look like a total fool.
But why did Jiwoo say things like that? She listened carefully to Noeul’s rambling, remembered exactly what he said, as if making a point to show it. As if she wanted to look good in his eyes.
It was all just delusion. Noeul’s serious delusion. Jiwoo only remembered because she’d just heard it. It wasn’t that she remembered it particularly well because Noeul said it. That was the truth…
But why did it feel like it could be real? Did it mean that Noeul wanted to believe in that delusion so badly? Or had he repeated it so much that it started to feel real?
Could he keep deluding himself like this? Noeul thought he might be losing his objectivity. What if one day he actually believed his delusions were real?
“Uh, this is what Hansol asked me to get.”
Jiwoo picked up a black T-shirt. It had a pattern like a bloodstain on the back and a ghost’s face on the left chest.
She held it up to herself in front of a mirror.
“M size should fit, right?”
Then she held it up to Noeul as well.
“You should get a large.”
“…I’m not buying it.”
“Mm. I know. I was just saying.”
Jiwoo made a slightly pouty face.
She picked up a white T-shirt with the same design. Again, she held it up to herself, then to Noeul.
Looking in the mirror, she said:
“Should I get the white one too? To match Hansol?”
“…Sure.”
Wouldn’t it look like they were buying couple T-shirts if others saw? Did Jiwoo not care at all what others thought? Was it only people like Noeul, with all their paranoia, who worried about that? People like Jiwoo didn’t care how anyone saw them. That confidence came from people like that.
Could it be that Jiwoo actually enjoyed appearing as if she were dating Noeul? “I’m pretty, but I don’t judge people by looks. I enjoy showing that…”
No. Jiwoo wasn’t that kind of person. That was Noeul imagining the worst. Right now, Jiwoo wasn’t thinking about what others thought at all. All she cared about was which merchandise to buy. She was enjoying the moment purely.
Noeul tried to shake off his negative thoughts about Jiwoo.
Meanwhile, Jiwoo kept asking him whether this one was pretty, that one was pretty, should I buy this, should I buy that.
Noeul gave half-hearted answers or just told her to hurry and buy whatever.
It was hard to bear the strange feeling, almost like being on a date. His heart kept softening, and it was hard to control.
Did Hansol intentionally step aside for this? Sure, Noeul could enjoy this feeling for a little while. But what did it really mean? Like an old person making memories right before dying—what’s the point of memories if you’re going to die? That would only be meaningful to people around him. This would also probably only make Hansol feel proud, not Noeul.
“Ugh, I’m hungry. What should we have for dinner?”
Jiwoo asked as they left the exhibition hall.
Why did she ask as if it were obvious they would eat? Did she want to spend more time with Noeul? Was she asking so he wouldn’t refuse? But Noeul kept doing things his way. Jiwoo was probably just hungry. She probably just asked because it was dinner time.
“I dunno.”
Noeul looked around. There were a lot of restaurants, but they all seemed like typical date spots. Everyone inside was a couple.
Noeul didn’t really want to eat here. From the moment he stepped inside, he’d be conscious of how people saw him. “Are they a couple? No way. Wow, even a guy like that can get a pretty girl. Did he just call her pretty? Huh? No, he didn’t….”
It would become a story people could gossip about.
If he worried about every little thing like that, he couldn’t function in daily life. He had to pretend not to notice, not to care. They were not a couple. They were just friends. One friend didn’t show up, so they had to go to the exhibition and eat dinner together. He had to keep reminding himself of that.
“But this place is kinda… noisy, right? Let’s just go near school? Chicken and beer at Sambong Beer?”
“You won’t be hungry? It’ll take some time to get there.”
“Yeah, I don’t mind.”
He had just been whining about being hungry. Why did he suddenly say it didn’t matter? Maybe Jiwoo was considering Noeul. She probably thought he’d be uncomfortable eating here. Naturally, she wanted to move somewhere else.
He was actually relieved when she suggested near the school. Sambong Beer was a small, shabby pub in the corner of a shopping area. Few people went there. Noeul could relax and talk to Jiwoo comfortably there.
But did Jiwoo really want to go there? Dressed so nicely, looking so pretty. Didn’t she enjoy being out in a bright, crowded place? A place where lots of people could notice her beauty?
Was she going near the school only for Noeul? Why did she take such care? Was it because if Noeul felt uncomfortable, she couldn’t eat? To spend more time with him? Or to show him she liked similar places? To make a good impression?
No. That thought made no sense. Noeul reminded himself of the obvious answer: “You can’t eat in a crowded place with her. Embarrassing. That’s why you’re going somewhere empty. Why are you overthinking?”
No… Jiwoo said Noeul wasn’t ugly. She meant it sincerely. She wouldn’t feel embarrassed to be with him. Thinking she’d be embarrassed was just Noeul’s paranoia. But… maybe he really would be embarrassed? Like seeing a faceless monster. He told himself not to fear it, but he actually did. Creepy. He felt the same about Noeul. He shouldn’t think Noeul was ugly. But… he kind of is. Creepy. Embarrassing…
Noeul didn’t know what he should really think. It felt easier when he simply misunderstood Jiwoo, like before. Then he could just assume, “She must be thinking this way.” But now, countless possibilities arose.
Jiwoo asked:
“Noeul, what do you want to do?”
Even a simple question about where to eat dinner made him overthink. The more he liked someone, the more he found reasons he shouldn’t like them. So he couldn’t fully like anyone. Why did he become this kind of person?
He felt drained. He wanted to be alone. Too many thoughts came automatically, exhausting him.
“…Hey, my stomach suddenly hurts.”
“Eh? Really?”
“Yeah. Maybe I got too tense in the haunted house. Ugh, it feels like a sulfur hot spring right now.”
Jiwoo stared at Noeul’s face.
Was she trying to see if he really meant it? Could she tell he was lying?
He felt a little nervous.
“I need to use the station restroom quickly. Ugh, I’m breaking out in cold sweat.”
Jiwoo slightly opened her mouth as if to say something, but then closed it and said:
“Go quickly. If you’re over twenty and pee on the street, that’d be bad.”
“Hey, are you even a friend?”
[ What do you mean? ]
“Come on. You’re not doing this for me.”
[ Why all of a sudden? Did you buy your merchandise? ]
“Merchandise? Nonsense… sly brat. Your voice is fine. What cold?”
[ …I was lying down all day. Sick. I finally got my fever down.]
Hansol spoke in a suddenly rough voice.
“Really, if you’re going to act, do it properly. It’s embarrassing to fall for it.”
[ Noeul, I don’t understand what you mean. ]
Noeul sighed quietly so Hansol couldn’t hear.
“Damn it. Stop it. Today I almost pooped myself acting my way out.”
[ Eh? Really? ]
Through the phone, Hansol’s chuckle could be heard.
“Yeah, damn it.”
[ You almost pooped yourself, but you’re blaming me.]
“That’s why I hate sharp-witted Park Hansol.”
Hansol laughed. Noeul followed with a laugh.
He wanted to seriously tell him never to do something like today again, but decided not to. Hansol probably understood how Noeul felt anyway.
Also, Noeul wasn’t sure if Hansol hoped such things never happened again, or if he secretly wanted them to happen.
Hansol said:
[ Hey, why did you run away? ]
“This bastard knows everything… There were so many people, all couples. How could I eat smoothly?”
[ Ah, you’re such a fool.]
“What?”
[ You like Jiwoo.]
“……”
[ If you confessed, she’d accept.]
