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chapter 55
“Ah, I… acted clingy?”
I couldn’t hide my disbelief and asked again.
Of course, I knew I’d been behaving differently than usual.
Even though there was an indoor passage, I went all the way to the entrance of the other building to greet him, and I even suggested we eat dinner together.
‘True… I’ve never sought him out outside of magic questions or the specific times Carlin set.’
But even so, I couldn’t agree with Raote’s choice of words.
“Clingy” is something that matches Ritema, not me.
I let out a dry laugh and sat next to him.
“You didn’t do that before.”
Well—thinking about it now, maybe I was the problem.
I was trying to change myself, when I was never the one who needed to change.
No matter how often I try to empty my heart, what meaning is there if someone skips a pebble across it?
“So you don’t like it?”
“I don’t care.”
And just like that, we ended up eating dinner alone together.
The table was small, so there wasn’t much food on it, but Raote never ate much to begin with, so it didn’t matter.
“You’re eating more now?”
Very slightly, but still noticeable.
“About a third more.”
“What does it matter to you how much I eat?”
He shot back instantly, sharp and sour.
Unfortunately for him, I could now read his real intentions—uncannily well.
He was embarrassed because I had hit the mark exactly.
“It doesn’t matter. I never said anything about your meals before, did I? I’m just curious, that’s all.”
“…You find a lot of things curious.”
“You started eating more after going to the academy, right? Is there a reason?”
I wasn’t deeply interested—it was just something to talk about.
If he didn’t answer, that was fine. I focused quietly on my food.
But surprisingly, Raote replied without irritation.
“At the estate, I barely left the laboratory.”
Barely? He practically never came out.
Unless something important happened, he locked himself inside completely.
His circadian rhythm didn’t exist. The curtains shut everything out, and his skin was pale like someone imprisoned.
It was self-imposed, which was the worst part, but his words weren’t wrong.
“But at the academy, I had to walk everywhere.”
He looked annoyed just remembering it.
“You know teleportation magic, don’t you?”
“We’re not allowed to use it outside designated times and areas. School regulations.”
“Oh.” I let out a small sound of surprise.
I honestly thought rules meant nothing to him.
He knew how to erase magical traces. I’d always assumed he’d bend the rules and get away with it.
‘So instead of cheating, he followed the rules quietly.’
Come to think of it, Raote did have surprisingly diligent habits.
He greeted Carlin, and he came down to the dining room at regular times.
“Then tell me what life there was like. I’ll be entering the academy too, so it’d help.”
Raote, who had finished eating first, set his utensils down and looked at me.
He was deciding: indulge me or ignore me.
He poured every ounce of energy into magic research—talking wasn’t something he enjoyed.
“If you don’t want to, that’s fine.”
“I can. It just feels like you’re trying to get free information out of me.”
“Then should I give you a deep hug in return?”
“…Okay.”
I flinched.
I was just joking.
But he accepted it. Seriously.
“Are you serious?”
He wasn’t smirking, not acting coy—just calm. Completely calm. That unnerved me instead.
“If you don’t want to, forget it.”
“I didn’t say I hated it. I just wondered what wind blew through you.”
He used to keep his distance from me, didn’t he?
Something definitely happened at the academy. Not that he’d tell me.
“Don’t ask why.”
He crossed his arms and leaned back.
“Just call it a whim.”
I stared into his eyes. They didn’t waver.
A whim? Really?
I doubted it, but decided to let it go.
Whether it was a whim or not, as long as our good relationship didn’t fall apart, nothing else mattered.
“Alright. Let’s do that. I like hugging anyway.”
Because it let me feel warmth. A sense of safety.
It didn’t take long for me to finish my meal too.
I wiped my mouth with a handkerchief and stood.
“Okay. I’ll hug you now.”
“You misunderstood.”
Ah—there were conditions, of course.
I gestured for him to continue.
“You stay in my arms until I let go.”
He took it a step further.
I hesitated, then shrugged internally. It was fine.
Thanks to Ritema’s constant hugging, physical contact didn’t shake me anymore.
And Raote could handle me.
‘And I can control my constitution if needed.’
So I agreed calmly—only to immediately regret it.
This was not the position I expected.
Our whole bodies were pressed together, and I couldn’t see his face. I could feel his heartbeat pounding against my back.
“…Why. This isn’t a hug?”
He, on the other hand, sounded relaxed—unlike before.
His hands wrapped around my waist, and I felt his breath brush the back of my neck.
What kind of trick was this?
So much for thinking I could read his intentions.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You look uncomfortable.”
I tried to turn to face him, but couldn’t move.
He had locked me in place with magic.
There was no way I could overpower it.
“Well, yes. For starters—your heart is beating too fast.”
Still, I decided to look on the bright side.
Being this close meant I could feel his reactions vividly.
Whether he knew it or not—
Raote’s body flinched slightly.
‘No, there’s no way he doesn’t notice.’
Even my heart sped up in response.
I merely stated the obvious, but Raote got petty.
He bit my shoulder.
“Ah!”
It definitely left teeth marks. It hurt—a lot.
“Don’t notice things like that.”
“I can’t help it. Maybe you should calm down instead.”
He didn’t reply.
“Raote…?”
He seemed to be trying his hardest to regain composure, but his heartbeat didn’t slow at all.
“Just… you deal with it.”
“Pfffft!”
I burst out laughing.
His arms tightened around me.
“Okay, okay. So tell me about the academy.”
“There’s nothing special. Just exhausting and annoying, exactly as I expected…”
His sigh carried every ounce of his weariness.
He continued:
Students barged into his dorm trying to become friends. They followed him with their eyes whenever he walked by. Some kept calling his name from behind.
One student even pretended to spill water on him just to start a conversation.
“Uh… that’s…”
I was at a loss for words.
I assumed he wouldn’t adjust well.
I just didn’t expect it to be because of other people.
As the son of a Grand Duke, his presence drew uncomfortable levels of attention.
It was a miracle nothing worse happened.
“Are you okay?”
“No. Not at all.”
Raote leaned his forehead against my back.
“The academy is a four-year program, but I’m planning to graduate early.”
“You can do that?”
“It’s rare, but the system exists.”
Silence fell.
“If I had to stay all four years, I might blow the academy up.”
He muttered it, but I heard it clearly.
The anger radiating from his chest made it impossible to take as a joke.
He was absolutely capable of literal destruction.
“Well then. You should graduate early. I’ll be there too—I can help.”
“Yeah. You can.”
He agreed immediately.
Meaning he already had a plan.
A questionable feeling crept up my spine.
Had I just promised something dangerous?
“At the academy, we just have to make it clear to everyone that we’re close.”
That wasn’t difficult.
We just had to act like this—like now.
But how did that help anything?
“Then at least half of them will leave me alone.”
“Why?”
“Isn’t it obvious? No stupid noble lady would try to flirt with me in front of my fiancée.”
In other words—
Raote intended to use our relationship as a shield.
