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Chapter 4
“…No, this isn’t like you at all. If only I’d done a better job taking care of you. Instead of shutting yourself up in the house, you’d be dazzling high society by now. You’d be the flower of society…”
“You can keep that title. I don’t want it.”
What kind of curse was that?
“The flower of high society.”
It sounded glamorous.
In reality, it was nothing but an exhausting burden.
I learned that firsthand at the Imperial New Year’s Ball when I was fifteen—the party I’d been dragged to against my will.
I’d barely made my resolve to avoid the story when I was hauled off to the Imperial Palace. I spent the entire trip frowning, but since the story was still years away and the Duke was off fighting on the battlefield, I forced myself to calm down.
Naturally, every noble in the Empire attended the New Year’s celebration.
And that was where I first laid eyes on the current Flower of Society.
From head to toe, every inch of her appearance had been carefully perfected.
Every movement of her fingers, every step she took, every smile she wore was meticulously controlled for the eyes watching her.
Despite greeting an endless stream of guests for hours without rest…
The smile on her lips never once faltered.
I could say with absolute certainty—
That was torture.
On top of everything else, she had to endure countless eyes fixed on her from every direction.
After all…
She stood at the very pinnacle of high society.
As I watched her with exhausted eyes, she noticed my gaze.
Without anyone else realizing it, she quietly raised a finger to her lips and smiled at me with her eyes.
At that moment, I became certain.
I could never live like that.
Not that someone as insignificant as the daughter of a minor count would ever be given such an honor.
But even if someone offered it to me…
I’d refuse.
The glory every noblewoman dreamed of…
Held absolutely no appeal for me.
So I prayed.
Please…
Let that title remain with someone who actually wants it.
Just don’t dump it on me.
“Lisa.”
“I think you’ve got a very romanticized image of high society.”
“It’s really not such a wonderful place.”
“You don’t need to work so hard trying to get there.”
“If anything, it’s the kind of place you should run away from whenever possible.”
Did she have any idea how terrifying noblewomen’s jealousy and petty grudges could be?
Apparently not.
Lisa looked ready to cry again.
“Sob… You used to be such a sweet, lovable young lady…”
“I mean, you’re still adorable on the outside…”
“But inside…”
“You’ve turned into an old man…”
An old man…
Well…
She wasn’t entirely wrong.
I’d lived twenty-three years as Seo Ye-eun.
Now I’d spent another four years as Rose Stacy.
Altogether…
I was mentally twenty-seven years old.
Practically thirty.
I’d lived long enough.
Completely unaware of my internal age, Lisa burst into tears when I simply nodded in agreement.
She looked genuinely heartbroken.
At that point, I couldn’t just ignore her.
“Lisa.”
“Please stop crying.”
“Okay?”
“…Sniff… Young Lady…”
I softened my voice and comforted her.
She finally stopped sobbing and looked at me.
“It worked!” I thought triumphantly.
Smiling as sweetly as I possibly could…
I dealt the finishing blow.
“What can I do?”
“I was just born looking like this.”
“Right?”
“Waaahhh—!”
…
Well…
What else was I supposed to do?
I couldn’t exactly help being born pretty.
* * *
“Hahaha. It seems you’ve made Lisa cry again.”
“Master!”
After leaving the still-sniffling Lisa in the care of the head maid, I went inside, where my teacher, Halbert, greeted me.
The moment I spotted him, I smiled brightly and ran straight into his arms.
Laughing warmly, Halbert embraced me in return.
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that my current situation existed because of him.
In a sense, he had completely undone the fate I’d worked so hard to change.
Yet…
I couldn’t hate him.
None of it was really his fault.
Even if I blamed him, nothing would change.
More importantly…
I simply couldn’t dislike this wonderful old man who showered me with endless affection.
Honestly…
I liked him even more than my father.
Dad would probably cry if he heard that.
“When did you get back?”
“Around the time you were making Lisa cry.”
“So you saw everything?”
“Go easy on the poor girl.”
“She’s only worried about you.”
“I know.”
“That’s why I didn’t get angry.”
“But I can’t help being like this.”
“Lisa will just have to give up.”
“Sigh… That poor child really has her work cut out for her.”
Halbert let out a long sigh.
He clearly understood just how impossible Lisa’s dream of turning me into a refined noble lady truly was.
I didn’t completely drop my polite façade around him.
But neither did I bother acting perfectly.
After all, he had once been a marquis who dominated imperial politics.
There was no way someone like him wouldn’t see through me.
I never expected otherwise.
And sure enough…
He understood me perfectly.
“It would be kinder for Lisa if she simply gave up.”
“Hahaha.”
“Or perhaps you could compromise a little?”
“You’re nearly old enough to marry, aren’t you?”
His words were perfectly reasonable.
In twenty-first-century Korea, suggesting marriage at my age would’ve earned someone a string of insults.
But this wasn’t modern Korea.
This was a medieval fantasy world straight out of a romance novel.
To Ji-ah’s credit, girls weren’t married off at ten like in some historical settings.
Still…
Noble daughters were commonly engaged around fourteen.
Some married as early as sixteen.
Although that was relatively uncommon.
Most women in the Xenoa Empire married between eighteen and twenty-three.
Men weren’t much different.
Occasionally, elderly widowers married teenage girls.
But those were usually second marriages.
For first marriages, couples were generally close in age.
And this year…
Rose Stacy had officially reached marriageable age.
Fortunately, no one had brought it up yet.
Most nobles waited until after the coming-of-age ceremony.
Next year…
The story would finally begin.
And in the original novel…
Rose Stacy remained single until the day she died.
Which meant…
If I got married first…
My fate might change completely.
After all, unmarried noblewomen were usually paired with other unmarried ladies.
The possibility definitely existed.
Even so…
“…Master.”
“Do you think I could become a priest?”
I still didn’t want to get married.
Not to just anyone.
Especially not to those arrogant noble idiots.
Someone might say,
“Isn’t your life more important than avoiding marriage?”
But to me…
The kind of man I’d have to spend my future with was just as important.
Being forced to spend the rest of my life sharing a bed with some insufferable jerk…
The thought alone made me shudder.
I’d rather die.
Normally I wasn’t this disgusted by the idea of marriage.
But three years earlier…
Before I stopped attending parties altogether…
I’d already had enough.
As the beautiful third daughter of an insignificant count’s family, backed by Halbert Jeffried’s reputation…
I was the perfect target.
Young.
Beautiful.
Talented.
And from a family too weak to properly protect me.
To those rotten nobles…
I was prey.
Since noble society practically worshipped status, it attracted the worst kinds of people.
The men approaching Rose Stacy generally fell into two categories.
The first were useless sons from prestigious families.
They had no talent.
No inheritance worth mentioning.
Nothing except a famous surname.
They wanted Rose solely because marrying Halbert Jeffried’s beloved student would help them establish themselves politically.
The second group came from insignificant families.
Unlike the first group, they had plenty of ambition.
They hoped to climb the social ladder by basking in Halbert Jeffried’s influence through marriage.
Both groups were trash.
Neither deserved a second glance.
If I married one of them…
I’d spend the rest of my life miserable.
I was certain of it.
So I completely gave up on marriage.
Not that I’d ever been particularly interested in it.
I’d never fallen in love before.
Part of me wanted to experience it someday.
If I’d met someone kind…
Someone compatible…
Someone I could happily live with…
I would’ve gladly married him.
The problem was…
No one like that ever approached me.
Surely decent men existed.
Men from ordinary families.
Or younger sons with little inheritance.
Good people.
But those men had long since been pushed aside by the greedy scum who surrounded me.
As a result…
Rose Stacy had never found anyone worth marrying.
Avoiding high society only made that even more impossible.
I’d cut ties with every social gathering to avoid unnecessary attention.
So here I was…
Eighteen years old.
Never dated.
Never kissed.
A lifelong single.
And judging by the way things were going…
Probably destined to stay that way.
Considering how freely people dated in the Xenoa Empire, it was almost pathetic.
Then again…
My love life in Korea hadn’t exactly been any better.
I’d already accepted that reality.
That’s why I was seriously considering becoming a priest.
Priests couldn’t marry.
Their lives belonged entirely to the gods.
Hearing my proposal, Halbert looked at me seriously.
“Do you really think you could endure such an ascetic life?”
“…Not a chance.”
Damn it.
This old man knew me far too well.
Celibacy itself wasn’t the issue.
At least not that kind.
It wasn’t as though I had uncontrollable desires.
That part didn’t bother me.
The real problem was everything else.
Priests lived under strict rules.
Their meals.
Their sleep.
Their daily routines.
Everything was regulated.
They were expected to devote every moment of their lives to the gods.
There was absolutely no way I could do that.
Me?
Wake up at six in the morning to pray?
Impossible.
I’d much rather stay in bed.
More importantly…
I didn’t even want to.
I’d never believed in gods.
Not in my old world.
And certainly not in this one.
I knew gods existed here.
After all, Shin Ji-ah had created this world.
I wasn’t denying their existence.
Believing in them, however…
Was another matter entirely.
The gods existed.
But they were never on my side.
If anything…
They’d abandoned me long ago.
And above all else…
The “god of gods” who created this world was none other than Shin Ji-ah.
There was no universe in which I’d bow my head and worship her.
Not even if I lost my mind.
“So…”
Halbert concluded with a chuckle,
“Why don’t you at least try acting a little more like the proper lady Lisa wants you to be?”
