WTFUDLS 41

Chapter 41

[ …Do you… like me? ]

“……”

The fact that Jiwoo asked that meant she had at least some suspicion.
No matter how hard Noeul tried to hide it, something must’ve slipped through.

— Who’s prettier, me or Hansol?
— …You.

Maybe Jiwoo had caught on back then.
Hansol thought it was just like Jiwoo to ask something like that when curiosity got the better of her.

Jiwoo quickly added,

[ I mean, I’m not really sure myself… but someone said it seemed that way. So I told them absolutely not. That we’re just friends. But, you know, I was wondering… since you’d probably know. ]

Hansol wanted to ask who said that.
But would that really help anything?
Would it really be good if Jiwoo confessed, “Actually… I thought that too”?

It didn’t seem like it would achieve anything except make Jiwoo uncomfortable.
Hansol didn’t want to corner her just to satisfy a secret thrill.

Then what should she say?

Jiwoo couldn’t ask Noeul directly — which meant whatever Hansol said now could greatly influence what Jiwoo thought.

She could say, No way, definitely not.
Or, Actually, she’s liked you for a long time.
Or even, She used to, but I think she’s over it now.
Whichever it was — if it was true, it was true; if it was a lie, it was a lie.
And whatever she said, she could always come up with a reasonable excuse afterward.

Depending on Hansol’s answer, Jiwoo might start seeing Noeul completely differently — or continue to see her as just a friend.

Hansol knew she had that power.
And part of her was tempted to use it to create the situation she wanted.

But that was just a thought.
She shouldn’t interfere in Noeul’s affairs like that.
Hansol was a bystander.
Noeul and Jiwoo’s situation was theirs to sort out.

If Hansol had truly known what she wanted, who knows what she might have said.
But right now, she didn’t.

So there was only one answer she could give.

“Hmm. I’m not really sure.”

[ Ah… you don’t know either? ]

“Yeah.”

[ Noeul hasn’t said anything about me? ]

“Just the usual stuff. Things a friend would say.”

[ Ah… ]

There was a hint of disappointment in Jiwoo’s voice.

Hansol asked,

“Why are you asking, anyway?”

[ Huh? ]

“I mean, if Noeul did like you — what would you do? Would you go out with her?”

Hansol asked like she was just curious — but there was something else she wanted to convey.

Jiwoo said,

[ Uh… I don’t know…? I’ve never really thought about it… ]

Never thought about it…

Maybe she was just saying that. Maybe she had thought about it, but it felt embarrassing to admit it.
But if she really hadn’t thought about it — wasn’t that kind of irresponsible?

Knowing someone’s feelings isn’t like knowing a random fact.
It changes the relationship between you and that person.
That’s why deciding whether to know or not is important.
Curiosity alone isn’t a good enough reason.
If you can’t handle the consequences, sometimes it’s better not to know.

Was Jiwoo thinking about any of that?

To Hansol, Jiwoo’s thoughts felt shallow — too shallow compared to Noeul’s feelings and worries.
That shallowness could end up hurting Noeul.
Did Jiwoo realize that?

Hansol knew she wasn’t qualified to act like some kind of judge.
She didn’t fully understand either of their hearts.
But still — she could say this much.

“Yeah? Then maybe start by thinking about that first.”

Jiwoo hung up the phone with a faint sulkiness.
She couldn’t quite tell why, but she felt like she’d done something wrong.

“Yeah? Then maybe start by thinking about that first.”

There had been an edge in Hansol’s voice — like a teacher scolding a kid who only wanted to play during vacation.

Should I really start with that?

Jiwoo had thought the opposite.
She wanted to find out how Noeul felt first — and then decide what to do based on that.

But after hearing Hansol, maybe it did make sense to think about her own feelings first.

If Noeul didn’t like her, things would just stay the same.
If Noeul did like her… then what?
They’d either start dating — or not.

The problem was… Jiwoo didn’t know whether she wanted to date Noeul or not.

Right. That’s why she’d wanted to know Noeul’s feelings first.

Did that mean Jiwoo’s feelings depended on Noeul’s?
That sounded strange… or maybe natural?
When someone says they like you, even if you hadn’t noticed them before, it makes you look at them differently.

But that’s about it. You might notice them more — but it doesn’t necessarily mean you start liking them.

So what were Jiwoo’s feelings toward Noeul?
Why were they so foggy, so impossible to grasp?
It was her own heart — so why couldn’t she tell?

Jiwoo felt like crying.
Had anything ever been this hard in her life?

She didn’t know.

All she knew was — she didn’t understand her heart, or Noeul’s.
And thinking harder didn’t seem like it would help.

Do I even need to figure it out right now?
Maybe she could just live as before.
Then she wouldn’t need to know either heart.
Sure, she’d be curious — but she could live with that.
If she could just endure that curiosity, she wouldn’t have to deal with this mess.

Yeah. On the surface, we’re just friends. Nothing’s changed.
Let’s just keep things the way they are. Then there won’t be any problems.

[ Noeul: Whatcha doin ]
[ Hansol: Just rolling around ]
[ Noeul: A perfect chance to get a drink on Noeul’s tab! ]
[ Hansol: What’s the catch lol ]
[ Noeul: Do you accept? ]
[ Hansol: Why’re you buying again ]
[ Noeul: Just ’cause ]
[ Hansol: Let’s just split it. 7pm? Samhap Pocha? ]
[ Noeul: Yup ]
[ Hansol: Kk ]

Noeul skimmed through the messages as she waited for Hansol to arrive.

Lately, she’d been asking Hansol to drink with her more often.
She just felt… empty.
She wanted to sit with someone she could talk easily with, have drinks, and just talk.
Otherwise, she’d end up spending all her time thinking about that emptiness — about a problem that had no real solution.

She had a hunch about the cause.
It was probably Jiwoo.

For so long, Jiwoo had taken up space in her mind — affecting her moods, drawing her attention.
Now that was mostly gone.
She’d found a kind of calm, but it wasn’t the same as before.
It was dull, barren, hollow calm.

There was no more “minus,” but there wasn’t any “plus,” either.
Just a constant zero.
That was the life Noeul had supposedly wanted — but now that she had it, why didn’t it feel peaceful?

She studied hard, built up her résumé, hung out with friends now and then.
It was all fine — and yet, she still felt empty.
Maybe “living life” wasn’t the same as “living existence.”
It felt like she was imitating life rather than truly living it.

She didn’t know.
Noeul couldn’t tell what she really wanted anymore.

“Oi, oi, Noeul-chan! I’ve arrived.”

Hansol slid into the seat across from her.

Hansol looked at the table and said,
“What is this, a dessert café? Why are you eating frozen peaches and pineapple sorbet?”

“I was craving something sweet.”

“Ugh, sour.”

Hansol grimaced after tasting the sorbet.
Even her grimace was pretty.

Noeul handed her the menu.
“Order whatever you want.”

Hansol flipped through the pages, looking for something to eat.

Whenever Noeul invited her out for drinks, Hansol almost never refused.
She’d joke that it was because she had no job and no friends — but even so, spending time on someone else wasn’t easy.

Noeul suspected Hansol kept coming because she knew Noeul wasn’t doing well lately — that she needed someone to joke around with, to talk nonsense nonstop.
She never asked outright — that would’ve been too awkward — but that was her guess.

Feeling bad for always calling only when she needed someone, Noeul would offer to buy.
But Hansol would always insist on splitting the bill, teasing her for pretending to be generous when she was broke.

Bzzz—

Bzzz—

Hansol’s phone buzzed.

Noeul’s eyes flicked toward it.
A senior from her department was calling.

Hansol glanced at the screen, then flipped the phone over to mute the vibration.

She said,
“We did a copywriting project together once. He keeps in touch sometimes.”

Noeul thought, You don’t have to explain that, but said nothing.
Hansol probably thought it was the polite thing to do as a friend.

Noeul just nodded.

Hansol added,
“He keeps asking to grab a drink sometime, but I keep making excuses.”

“Why?”

“Just… he’s not fun. We don’t really click.”

“Mm.”

Noeul felt oddly relieved to know she was someone Hansol did click with.
Hansol never drank with people she didn’t like, but she’d gone out with Noeul countless times.

Still, Noeul never relied on her completely.
She believed anyone — even Hansol — could change their mind someday.
There’s no such thing as an unchanging heart or eternal bond.
Especially for someone like Noeul, who didn’t really have much to offer — it would be easy for others to leave.

That’s why she never showed anyone her heart completely — never was 100% honest.
So that if someone left, she could return to being alone without breaking.

Hansol said,
“Hey, remember that guy you mentioned — the sweater guy?”

“The sweater… oh, that guy. Yeah.”

“I know someone who could give him a run for his money in weirdness.”

“Really? Who?”

“You know I went to an all-girls high school, right? There was this upperclassman who was already famous for being kind of out there.”

“Uh-huh.”

“So after PE one summer, she was showering in the school locker room. It was super hot, and she and her friend were whining about wanting to go swimming instead of going back to class. Then she looks around and realizes the shower room looks just like a pool — all tiled. And she figures, if they block the door properly, it could become a pool.”

“This is already sounding bad.”

“Right? So she somehow gets this giant plastic tarp — like the kind they use to cover truck loads — and lines the walls with it. Then she and her friend turn on all the showers at once. The room starts filling up. They’re having fun, but then — the door’s wooden. And guess what? The water pressure blows it open.”

“What—?”

“Ahahaha, right? The water flooded the hallway and the stairs, total chaos. The teachers dragged them to the office, the whole floor had to be evacuated, it took all day to drain the water — it was a disaster.”

Hansol was practically shouting with excitement.
She hadn’t even started drinking yet, but her energy was already through the roof.

And through her laughter, bits of conversation from the next table slipped through.

“…She’s so pretty. Should I ask for her number?”
“Her boyfriend’s right there…”
“No way…”
“Well… he’s ugly as hell…”

The words were faint, but clear enough.

Noeul pretended not to hear.
If she showed it bothered her, all of Hansol’s efforts to cheer her up would go to waste.

Hansol probably heard it too.
But she didn’t react either.

Somehow, that had become an unspoken rule between them.

Some friends would get up and fight.
Others would look hurt.
Noeul knew they were all doing their best in their own way.
But for her, those reactions only made things harder — not because of the insult, but because she never knew how to respond.

So when Hansol acted like she hadn’t heard a thing, Noeul was quietly grateful.

Maybe that’s what it meant to fit well with someone.