VDBO 07

Chapter 07

“So, whose would it be?”

I stood there blankly, holding the dress that Mr. Schvalt had handed me. The scene looked oddly like parents preparing gifts for their child on Children’s Day.

He hadn’t mentioned any coming-of-age gifts yet, but knowing Mr. Schvalt, there was no way this was the end. This was probably just the beginning.

“Come on, try it on,” he whispered softly.

I glanced at my mother for a moment, but she was just sipping her tea silently. So I stood there a little longer before awkwardly carrying the dress into the small room where I kept my clothes.

I untied the back strings of the dress I was wearing. Shedding the winter dress and putting on the new one felt light and freeing. With its layered frills inside, it wasn’t even cold.

I stared at the mirror in front of me. Pale skin, deep red eyes, lips of the same color, and long, colorless silver hair.

Now that I thought about it, without the red, there was almost nothing left—my eyes and lips were the only colors. The red dress added to that gave me a strange feeling.

Is this why people look at me oddly?

And normally, receiving a gift would make me happy—but I wasn’t.

Instead, a sense of unease crept over me.

Maybe it’s just a birthday gift? Surely there’s no hidden agenda—no trips to the capital, no meeting the prince…

I wished my mother could just stay as she was, and that sometimes Mr. Schvalt would visit like this. If my mother were planning something, I would have to move to stop her…

I was lost in thought, still with the dress strings untied.

I didn’t even notice my mother entering the room.

“Did you forget to put it on?”

“Ah, Mother… No. I was just admiring how pretty the dress is.”

She guided me to the chair in front of the mirror.

As I sat, she skillfully tied the strings on the back that I hadn’t done. Then, as if measuring something, she swept my hair to one side and secured it with a hairpin.

“Beautiful.”

“Thank you. Are we really moving?”

I looked at my mother through the mirror.

Her deep wine-colored eyes stared at me without expression.

“Yes.”

She didn’t hide anything. Mr. Schvalt’s words had been true.

“Finish getting ready and come out.”

After tidying my hair, she left the room. I fidgeted with it for a while.

Suddenly, with so many unfamiliar things happening, I felt more anxious than happy. Almost certain that something bad might happen.

But I couldn’t sit for long.

Outside, I heard Mr. Schvalt fussing to my mother about how well the dress suited me.

His behavior was so different from usual. I’d never seen him like this in front of others—but in her house, he changed completely.

As soon as I stepped out, of course, he marveled at me. Half of his praise was about how good the dress looked, and the other half about his own discerning taste—at least until I said I’d change again.

Dinner that evening was abundant again.

Though my mother had gone out, she hadn’t eaten, and I overate once more.

A week later, a flower delivery arrived at the house early in the morning.

In the middle of winter. In this northern place where even firewood was scarce.

The flowers’ destination seemed strange to me, but my mother looked at them naturally.

I couldn’t understand why things kept feeling more ominous.

Had my family summoned her again without my knowledge? Did my mother have some other plan I didn’t know of?

Surely not. I pressed down the rising anxiety, but it didn’t last.

At breakfast, Mr. Schvalt, having finished all preparations, called me. I followed him downstairs to the dining room, where my mother was already waiting.

“Sit down.”

“Let’s sit.”

Amidst the quiet clatter of dishes and cutlery, my mother set down her fork and knife and wiped her mouth.

“I’m thinking of going to the capital.”

I couldn’t hide my rare surprise at her words.

“To the capital…?”

What about the new house?

We’d only recently talked about moving, and now she suddenly mentioned the capital.

Mr. Schvalt seemed to have already finished discussing things, his awkward smile silent. Instead, he continued eating calmly, which puzzled me.

Please, no more dangerous plans. Let us live long and carefully, I prayed, silently invoking the names of gods I didn’t even believe in.

“Not right now.”

Her one sentence calmed the panic that was rising in me.

“But why the capital?”

“It’s where we belong.”

She spoke as if it were obvious. It had been so long since I’d seen that expression that I swallowed hard.

“But…”

“First, we’ll move and then talk gradually. Why scare a child?”

Mr. Schvalt tried to intervene to soothe me, but my mother was not the type to be stopped by that.

“You’re grown now. What does it matter?”

Her cold voice made Mr. Schvalt give an awkward smile.

I gave him a small smile to show I was okay and ate again. Suddenly, the food that had tasted so good earlier didn’t taste like anything.

Had my mother discovered something?

Since he had left a while ago, I wouldn’t have encountered him again.

I bit my tongue while thinking deeply.

In the end, I threw up everything I had eaten that day.

“Ugh…”

Planning to take a walk in the winter air, I felt sick and returned to my room, heading straight for bed.

I opened the bedside drawer recklessly and swallowed medicine without water. Even the medicine seemed to upset my stomach, and I lay curled up in bed groaning.

“Ah, I really got sick.”

It was frustrating. Why couldn’t my mother understand my feelings? I usually agreed with her opinions wholeheartedly.

But this time, if she went, she might really die. This time it could really be dangerous.

I even thought that maybe I had to die in her place to understand her. I turned toward the ceiling and lay back.

Knock, knock.

Someone tapped at the door.

“Come in.”

100% it had to be Mr. Schvalt. And indeed, it was him.

“Are you okay?”

He came close. The bed shuddered as one side felt heavy, tilting under his weight.

I only looked down at him, then returned my gaze to the ceiling.

“Do you think Mother really wants to go to the capital?”

“Hm.”

He gave an ambiguous answer while staring out the window.

The large window, unsuitable for such a small room, framed the winter landscape outside perfectly.

“Lucella will never give up.”

It sounded so despairing.

“Does Mother feel uncomfortable with this life? Or is it just ambition…”

“Carbella.”

Mr. Schvalt called me softly.

“Yes?”

“Everyone has something they can’t let go of.”

“……”

“That’s why… because there’s something they can’t let go of.”

I didn’t answer.

He patted the blanket over me as if comforting me, then left the room.

I understood what he meant.

Everyone has something like that.

I knew.

I knew.

“…And for me, that’s Mother.”

Moving house happened exactly one week later.

For a few days, Mr. Schvalt had been coming and going busily, and now he said we would depart from the morning.

I dressed warmly in winter clothes and followed my mother outside.

A sleek black carriage with Mr. Schvalt’s crest awaited us. My mother got in first.

I held Mr. Schvalt’s hand as I climbed in, then looked back. Despite the discomforts, I seemed quite attached to this place. My eyes lingered on the familiar scenery along the way.

I glanced once at the house, then at the food storage where he had stayed briefly.

Now, all traces of Prince Valeri Ahivara Kashinev were gone. Even if he returned to offer thanks, he wouldn’t see me.

I turned decisively and boarded the carriage.

We rode continuously for about an hour. They said it was still the north, but the size of the northern lands was enormous.

I thought the prince who had found his way to our house here was quite impressive.

Outside, only bare trees and white snowfields stretched endlessly. My mother hadn’t spoken a word to me since the morning.

I was so accustomed to this silence that I focused entirely on the scenery.