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chapter 41
Sian suddenly choked on air and began coughing, and Lynette gently patted his back. By the time his fit had subsided, she had gone to fetch him a glass of water.
“Drink this. It’ll help you calm down.”
“Th-thank you.”
Sian managed to catch his breath after drinking the water.
“That ‘first love’ thing… are you saying that from actual experience?”
“Of course not. But thinking about my ex-fiancé—my first love, as it were—it all makes sense. He was the kind of man you could chew up and spit out and never get tired of.”
Sian hadn’t realized her words had that implication. He gave her an awkward smile.
“I hope that man wasn’t really your first love. Like I said before, there are people you might not even remember.”
“But even if I was his first love, it doesn’t necessarily mean he was mine, does it?”
“Well… that’s true.”
At her words, Sian lowered his head, looking suddenly dejected. He looked as though he wanted to say something but ended up sighing instead.
“But Sian, last time you said you might end up with your first love. Yet here you are, kissing me by accident… and going out with me at night. Are you sure that’s okay?”
She knew all too well that jealousy—whether from a man or a woman—had no end. What woman would be happy to see a man who claimed to like her kissing another woman and then taking her out? Even if she had agreed to it on the surface, she might still be sharpening her knife behind his back.
“It’s fine. He doesn’t even know he’s my first love.”
What was that supposed to mean? Was it an unrequited love on Sian’s part? From the way he’d said “chewed up and spit out,” it at least sounded like they’d spent the night together.
Lynette tilted her head, unable to follow Sian’s logic.
“Someday, that person will realize how you really feel. Or someone new might come along. In the meantime… let’s get going.”
She rose from her seat and offered him her hand first this time. Sian smiled with his eyes and gently laid his hand over hers. Holding hands, they began walking back toward the bustling night market.
There, they ate and ate, even after their stomachs were full. It was almost to the point where they wondered if their bellies might burst. Even so, Lynette sampled everything with Sian.
“How was today?”
“I had a wonderful time.”
They were resting on a bench to ease their sore feet after walking for a while.
“No, I mean… the way people were looking at you.”
“Oh…”
“They didn’t seem scared of you. They looked at you like you were a handsome man. Are you sure you haven’t been misunderstanding their stares?”
“No, I’m not. I’m ugly.”
It was like a celebrity claiming they were the ugliest person alive. Normally, her small hand would curl into a fist at such nonsense, but this time she held back.
“Stop that! Don’t say things like that. You’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. Maybe even comparable to Sharon’s boyfriend, Mason.”
“Cough! Of all the people, don’t compare me to him.”
They had barely crossed paths a few times, yet Sian spoke with the tone of someone who knew Mason well. Lynette tilted her head as Sian took her by the head and shook his own.
“I just happened to learn a little about him. But we’re absolutely not close.”
It sounded exactly like a man telling his girlfriend, “Yes, I met another woman, but we’re barely acquaintances, so don’t misunderstand.” He didn’t even have to clarify so much, but Lynette nodded slightly at his words.
“Let’s move on from that. From now on, you don’t have to wear a hat anymore, you know?”
“But…”
“No one’s even paying attention to your eyes. Why hide such beautiful ones?”
Lynette reached out and gently brushed back the bangs that had fallen forward. Every time she saw him, she thought the same thing—he really was handsome.
“I just don’t want to show them. To anyone…”
“That ‘anyone’ would include me too, wouldn’t it?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Then what am I to you, Sian?”
At her question, Sian’s red eyes blinked rapidly. She could see him carefully choosing his words.
“Lynette… you’re my little sparrow?”
A bird, seriously? This was why she’d never liked her name much.
But it wasn’t like she could go running to her father and demand a name change. Her grandmother had personally named her, pushing her father aside to do it.
‘At least let our youngest live freely like a sparrow.’
That was why she’d been named Lynette. Her grandmother had bestowed the name on her newborn granddaughter, almost as if lamenting her own lack of freedom.
Perhaps that was why Kenneth hadn’t strongly opposed it when she’d decided to leave home. Or maybe it had been because of the Esther situation at the time.
“Then I guess I’d better fly around freely like a sparrow.”
“I think whether you’re a man or a woman, you need freedom to do anything. That’s why I admire how you run Attraction.”
“Thanks for saying that. It was a choice I made to survive.”
She had chosen to run the café to live respectably on her own. Now it was thriving, but in the early days it had been tough because of how unfamiliar it was. Remembering those days, Lynette smiled faintly at Sian.
“I left home in a fit of anger and started running a shop, but maybe it was an opportunity. So if you ever get an opportunity, Sian, seize it.”
“Yes! I will. Definitely.”
As he said that, Sian held Lynette’s hand tightly, a faint blush spreading across his face as he smiled softly.
“Let’s go now. We can’t stay here forever.”
From now on, Sian wouldn’t need to wear his hat out of fear of other people’s eyes. As Lynette rose, feeling she’d accomplished something, Sian grabbed her hand. She thought he meant to pull himself up, but instead he lowered his head, pressing a hand to his forehead.
“Sian, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
“Ah, I just got dizzy all of a sudden…”
Lynette carefully raised his face with her hand. She could feel the heat radiating off Sian’s flushed cheeks. The warmth seeped into her palm, and she immediately grew concerned.
“Are you very sick? You’re burning up.”
“It’s not that bad. Don’t worry about me—just go home. I’ll rest a bit and head back.”
Lynette hesitated, scanning his face. She needed to get home, but leaving him like this didn’t feel right.
“I’m fine. Really. Go on—your family must be waiting.”
He had family, but they weren’t waiting. Katrin had all but shoved him out, issuing him an “overnight pass” and slamming the door behind him.
“Sian, where’s your house? I can call your family for you. Or send someone else.”
“No need. There’s no one at home.”
So he lived alone? Hearing that made it even harder to leave. How lonely must it be to be sick and alone, especially so soon after a business trip to another region?
“If your family lives somewhere else, I can arrange for—”
“No, it’s fine. Really. Don’t worry about me and go.”
He smiled faintly as he said it. Lynette knew she ought to leave, but she couldn’t. Torn, she drew a deep breath.
“Sian, can you walk? I’ll help you home.”
The man who had seemed so steady just moments ago now felt like a fragile kitten. Her heart started beating faster before she could stop it, his scent hitting her nose as she moved closer.
Sian didn’t hesitate; he leaned on her immediately. Luckily, he still had enough strength not to put all his weight on her.
“I’m sorry, Lynette. I’m burdening a sparrow who should be free…”
“It’s fine. You can lean on me more. I’m stronger than most women.”
“I can’t. You look like you’d blow away in the wind.”
Looks could be deceiving, but Sian only leaned on her lightly. Even so, he stopped several times along the way to take deep breaths. His face grew even redder. It was obvious his condition was worsening.
“Sian, how about we stop by a clinic before your house?”
“N-no. I really hate clinics.”
It was like a child refusing to go to the doctor, and Lynette couldn’t help but chuckle. He wasn’t even facing an injection, but his expression of distaste was almost cute.
“I’ll be fine once I rest at home.”
“You’d recover faster at a clinic. If it’s money—don’t worry, I can cover it.”
“I’ve got money too, but I don’t want to waste it. Really, I’ll be fine after a day of rest, even if it’s a cold. Don’t worry.”
She didn’t want to worry, but Sian kept stumbling. She held him tightly, his hot breath brushing her ear. Even his exhale was feverishly warm—he must be quite sick.
But since he refused the clinic, she had no choice but to keep walking toward his home.
“Just a little farther… turn right, then straight…”
Following his directions, they finally arrived at Sian’s house for the first time. Without even looking around, she hurried him to bed.
For a man living alone, the place was surprisingly spacious and very clean. Lynette fetched cold water and a towel from the bathroom, wringing it out and wiping Sian’s face.
“I think the fever’s going down a little.”
When Sian tried to sit up, Lynette pressed his shoulder down and shook her head.
“No, stay lying down. Fevers can spike suddenly. Do you have any medicine?”
“Uh… maybe in the third drawer of the next room. But I don’t really take medicine.”
Lynette went straight to the drawer and found several bottles neatly labeled. She brought back what she needed.
“Here, take this.”
“Ah…”
She held the spoon to his mouth, and he finally opened it, swallowing two spoonfuls of bitter medicine. When he grimaced, she quickly handed him water.
“You’ll feel better soon, so just sleep now. I’ll go—”
“Ah… the medicine’s making me dizzy…”
Lynette had done everything she could and was about to leave when Sian, trying to sit up, suddenly slumped over.
“Sian? Are you okay? Sian!”
She called his name and lightly slapped his cheek. His red eyes fluttered open. In the dusky glow of the setting sun, they looked as if they might crumble into darkness at any moment.
“Lynette… I wasn’t always this weak. Something’s wrong.”
“It’s not wrong. You’re sick, that’s all. Just lie back and rest.”
Feeling pity for the larger man who was now groaning like a child, Lynette placed the wet towel on his forehead. Soon after, sleep overcame her, worn out from the day’s outing.
Watching her sleeping at the edge of the bed, Sian slowly sat up. As if he’d never been sick, he gently lifted her onto the bed. Sitting in the chair she’d vacated, he stroked her face and smiled softly.
“This time, I won’t chew you up and spit you out. So wait until I come closer.”
