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Chapter 68
A Lexian holding lilies suddenly appeared one afternoon.
“Have you been well, Roa?”
“Until you showed up, no.”
Even though I openly snapped at him, Lexian looked completely unfazed.
“If you keep coming around, people will definitely whisper — will I be all right with that?”
“Isn’t everyone in society already aware that I consider you a dear younger sister?”
He can always find an excuse for whatever I say.
“I came for that dear younger sister’s health, so don’t be too cold to me.”
Since I was already dressed and ready to go on training duty, I went out to the practice yard without another word.
Lexian watched me run and swing the wooden sword closely; he corrected my posture once, but what followed his inspection was admiration.
“Your stance is straighter than many knights. As expected, I knew you would learn anything well.”
“That’s thanks to the sword teaching me properly.”
“Then all the knights I taught should be exceptional.”
I almost smiled at Lexian’s swagger. I forced my expression back to serious and focused on swinging the wooden sword.
“You do seem to have gained strength.”
When Calvin watched me it didn’t bother me at all, but with Lexian watching I felt sweat on my hands.
“Are you still seeing the Mage Tower Lord?”
“Yes.”
“Do you like him?”
I should have answered “yes” or snapped back that it was a rude question, but the words wouldn’t come.
If I don’t harden my heart I’ll fail to keep this man from dying, but I kept getting distracted.
“I asked the wrong thing. I asked whether you like a man you’re pretending to meet to avoid becoming crown princess.”
Was he probing, or already certain?
While I mulled it over he added another line.
“If that’s the case, couldn’t you ask me for help?”
My heart plummeted at the idea of Lexian trying to involve himself with me.
“How could I ask someone like you to do that, the sort of man who’d be like an older brother?”
“A difficult-to-handle man is worse than me, isn’t he?”
I barely managed to spit out a reply, but Lexian came closer without hesitation.
“If it’s to avoid the royal pressure, I’ll do. As you know, I’m a Sword Master.”
“You—knew that!”
I looked around frantically to see if anyone nearby had overheard. Fortunately, the family’s knights were standing well apart.
“I was keeping silent because revealing it would be troublesome. So it’s no problem even if it comes out.”
I couldn’t ask why he would go to such lengths for me.
Right now he probably doesn’t even know why he does it either, but if I asked why I’d cause him to reflect on his own feelings.
Then he’d realize.
That he had feelings for me.
“I have feelings for Silla.”
When things got urgent, a lie slipped out easily.
“It’s true that I’m keeping my distance from the Crown Prince because I want to avoid becoming the crown princess. But I’m not seeing Silla for that reason.”
Lexian’s eyebrows twitched.
“I had feelings for Silla, and it so happened that he was the Mage Tower Lord.”
I forced a smile.
“So later, if I get married, I hope you’ll happily bless us.”
“Married?”
“It’s too soon to even say it out loud, but someday I’ll get married, right?”
Pain spread across Lexian’s composed face like a dagger piercing my heart.
I have no plan to marry Silla, and I’m not even sure I’ll have time to love someone and be bound to them…
I can’t let you die in a horrible way again, and I don’t want to return having been cruelly killed.
So Lexian Rician-shus, please don’t love me.
I’ll shoulder the guilt of deceiving you — you live happily in this life.
“I’ll continue training. What will you do, Lexian?”
I smiled pleasantly as if unaware of how ready he was to burst.
“I—”
Lexian’s face had paled in an instant and he faltered.
“Sister!”
Calvin called from the entrance of the practice yard, breaking the awkward silence as he appeared.
“You came, Commander.”
He approached, greeted Lexian, and then grinned at me.
“Sis, you were training.”
“Yes. Lexian was watching and said I was excellent.”
“You’re good at everything, sis!”
Proud Calvin turned to Lexian. My brother was still growing, but he was slightly shorter than Lexian.
“Commander, thank you for caring for my sister, but I’ll take good care of her, so no need to worry. Commander has a lot on his plate anyway.”
Calvin looked straight at Lexian as if testing him.
“Your skill as a knight is beyond doubt, but Roa is like my sister.”
Hearing Lexian call my brother that made me briefly regret letting him; even if he started with “friend” or “brother,” still.
“You treating my lady Marchioness kindly makes visits to the Levian house pleasant.”
When my mother’s name came up, Calvin’s eyebrow rose.
“She even invited me to dinner tonight. I couldn’t refuse such a polite offer, so naturally I accepted.”
“My mother—”
“Commander, as you know, I lost my parents young. So Marchioness’s kindness makes me very happy.”
Lexian answered as if he had become a member of the Levian house, which almost made me laugh. Anything he did looked handsome.
No, this isn’t the time to like him!
I slapped my cheeks twice with both hands; the two men jumped and turned to look.
“Roa, what’s wrong?”
“Sis, why are you like this?”
“Just a little tired. Suddenly I feel like I might fall asleep.”
“Maybe you pushed yourself too hard. Let’s go inside and rest.”
Calvin, who clung to my side, escorted me while Lexian stood on the other side.
“Oh dear, I worry that Calvin’s training methods are too extreme. I should come by more often.”
“You don’t have to, Commander.”
“You’d do poorly if Roa tried to build stamina but ended up worse off, wouldn’t you?”
“Ugh.”
My brother’s face flushed.
“You two can stop worrying; I know you care about me, so don’t fight. Calvin is like my little brother and Lexian is like my older brother, so I want you to get along.”
“All right, sis. I’ll be careful.”
Calvin answered meekly, but shot a fierce glance at Lexian. Lexian ignored him.
I wondered why both of them were behaving like that, especially since I didn’t seem upset about Merina.
Lexian stayed for dinner, and despite my father’s sour attitude, my mother insisted on inviting him again.
“Lexian, if you want to join us for a meal anytime, come. Ha ha, it gives me peace of mind to have such a reliable son.”
“Mother, what about me?”
“Cal, have you forgotten the trouble you caused with girls until not long ago?”
Although Mother smiled, her tone was stingy and Calvin lowered his head.
“Calvin is the sort of person who corrects his mistakes, so he won’t repeat them,” she said.
“Oh my, Lexian is so magnanimous. Ho ho ho.”
Amid the warm atmosphere, Lexian returned to his duke’s residence and Mother paced the lobby for quite a while.
“His face is more to my taste in the Mage Tower Lord, but his personality leans toward Duke Rician-shus. Oh my, it’s so hard to choose.”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
Father, unusually stern, shot a look at her, but Mother seemed not to care.
“After all, the Duke’s face is very fine too. Maybe it doesn’t matter? The Duke seems to share more of our values…”
“Honey!”
Mother suddenly raised her eyes and confronted Father, making him shrink his shoulders.
“I couldn’t have a proper romance before I married, so I want our daughter to have plenty of romance before marriage. Is that such a terrible thing to want?”
I remembered hearing that Mother had once pressured a suitor so fiercely that he had no choice but to propose to Father, and they eventually married. Later she found out the truth and was angry, apparently.
Anyway, Father, who had been embarrassed by the memory, nodded vigorously.
“Cal, you! If I see you show Lexian any dislike, I’ll lock you up in the dormitory — understand?”
With Father now putting both hands together and behaving obediently, how could Calvin possibly rebel?
“Yes, Mother.”
When Calvin bowed quietly, Mother smiled in satisfaction.
