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Chapter 07
Perhaps the feelings Mom had toward Robellin Castone were similar to mine.
Love and hate.
Even after being killed by her more than ten times and reliving nightmare-like deaths over and over, Mom still pitied and understood her.
Robellin Castone.
The infamous villainess considered the worst in the history of the Castone Empire.
Born to a princess of a small nation brought in as a hostage, Robellin lost her mother at the hands of her own father, the emperor, during childhood. As the years passed, she grew increasingly hysterical and cruel.
Her madness had long spiraled out of control, and eventually even the crown prince heard of her atrocities. In the end, even the emperor—who had cherished his daughter despite everything—had no choice but to order her execution.
But there was one truth behind that incident that only the readers, the protagonist, and Mom knew.
“…Um.”
I had been lost in thought when Emil asked for help.
“Don’t you think this is a little… excessive?”
In just a short while, Mom had already called over the butler and head maid, giving instructions one by one for everything Emil might need.
“First, we should call a tailor tomorrow. Winter is coming, so you need warm new clothes, don’t you?”
“That much is really…”
“Oh, right. Is there anything you’d like to learn? Feel free to say anything. Magic? Alchemy? Swordsmanship? Actually, my husband would be better than most instructors for swordsmanship.”
“Th-that’s alright.”
I stepped in at the perfect moment to save Emil from feeling overwhelmed.
He’d be trapped by Mom all day starting tomorrow, so I had to help while I still could.
“Mom, that’s important too, but shouldn’t you show him the room he’ll be staying in first?”
“Oh my, I really have been holding onto him without thinking. You must be tired after traveling here… It’s always kept clean, but I hope you’ll like it.”
“No… thank you. Any room is fine.”
“There’s no way we’d just give you any room.”
Mom gently stroked Emil’s hair.
“We want you to think of this as your home. To be greedy sometimes, try things you want to do, and enjoy all the things someone your age should enjoy.”
She probably wanted to say those same words to Robellin once.
“You can think of this place as your home.”
Emil’s lips parted slightly.
“…Okay.”
Worried he might feel uncomfortable, I quickly brought him away. Thankfully, he just seemed unfamiliar with this kind of treatment.
“Your room is on the left side of the third floor.”
As we climbed the central staircase at the heart of the mansion, employees who recognized Emil smiled and greeted him.
Among them were Isana and Ilena.
“Hello, Young Master. I’m Lady Bellsia’s nanny, Isana. This is my daughter, Ilena.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Young Master Callicst. You’ll likely have an attendant assigned to you, but if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call us.”
As the staff greeted him, Emil stiffened in alarm, but once they passed by, he muttered awkwardly,
“This place feels like another world.”
If he described an environment that should have been natural as “another world,” then perhaps his previous life had been even harsher than I imagined.
“But the duke’s mansion was impressive too.”
“It’s… not that kind of place.”
“So ours is better?”
“…Yeah.”
Halfway down the corridor, Emil stopped in front of my room.
“Oh, this is my room.”
“Your room?”
“And the room next to it is yours.”
In case Emil showed any strange signs or got sick, I had insisted a little. Since we were the same age, I wanted us using the same corridor.
“There’s no need to be this close…”
“Of course, if it makes you uncomfortable, we can switch rooms.”
“That’s not it…”
“Since we’re close, if you ever want to hang out more, you can sneak over at night.”
Despite my bright smile, I was constantly suppressing the obsession clawing its way up inside me.
Keeping the person who once killed me in the room right next to mine.
Part of it was so I could keep an eye on Emil more easily, but in my own way, this was also a risk. Pushing my trauma and fear aside to gain his trust.
But seeing our rooms lined up right in front of me made the fear rise anyway.
“I’ll show you my room too. But first, let’s look around yours.”
I still didn’t know how to deal with this child.
The sight beyond the door left Emil speechless for a moment. Truthfully, this was my first time entering the room too. It had always just been used as a guest room.
The room was spacious and full of sunlight. White translucent curtains fluttered in the cool breeze, and the wooden furniture—a large bookshelf, a bed—gave off a warm feeling.
“This is… my room?”
Emil couldn’t believe it. He wondered if the entire marquis household was playing some elaborate prank on him.
“Do you like it? It was originally meant for guests my age.”
If this comfortable space could help stabilize him just by existing, then losing sleep at night wouldn’t matter to me.
“I like it.”
“That’s a relief.”
Emil, frozen until now, touched the sheets of the large bed. The thick blankets prepared for the cold weather, the desk sized just right for him—he looked at everything with wonder.
He probably had rooms like this at the duke’s estate too, but there, no one bothered creating an environment meant for a child.
The lighting alone had been awful.
“The chair fits perfectly.”
“Is the desk height okay?”
“Yeah. It’s comfortable.”
Meanwhile, I opened the window. Across from us stood a small annex.
“The library’s over there. Let’s go later. There’s a greenhouse in the flower garden too—Mom has lots of flowers she treasures. And over there…”
I kept listing tempting things to make Emil excited.
But there was no reaction.
Confused, I looked over and found Emil staring at me.
A gust of wind swept hair into my face, so I pushed it back with my arm.
“Emil?”
“…”
“Is there something you don’t like?”
“You…”
The next thing he said nearly stopped my heart.
“I don’t understand why you’re being so nice to me.”
Emil looked at me with an expression tinged with gloom, yet unmistakably happy at the same time.
“Well… because I want to be friends…”
“Really?”
I hurried to smooth over the expression hardening on my face.
“Why you’re nice to me doesn’t matter.”
“Because of you… I think I might finally be a little happier.”
My chest tightened.
At the same time, the memory returned—bloodstains trailing down the corridor, the terrifying blade that stabbed into me.
Unlike that day, the Emil before me now was only a lonely child starved for affection. Yet I still tensed.
“If there’s something you want from me…”
I repeated it to myself.
I’m doing the right thing.
No one loses anything.
In the end, Emil will become happy, and I’ll get to live peacefully with my family for a long time.
So pretending to care for Emil isn’t wrong.
“No matter what it takes, I’ll make it happen.”
As long as you never hurt my family.
The words leaving my mouth and my true feelings were different.
I quickly changed the subject.
“…You said you wanted to see my room, right? I’ll show you now.”
Emil followed without refusing. He probably knew I had avoided the topic.
Why did I feel guilty?
I didn’t know.
The first day after bringing Emil home, the chef worked harder than usual from early morning to welcome the honored guest.
“Does the food suit your taste?”
“Yes. It’s really delicious.”
Emil nodded gently after eating fluffy scrambled eggs. I remembered him as a picky eater, but after taking a bite of soft bread spread with rich butter, he immediately took another.
My family watched warmly.
“Kids in their growing years should eat well so they grow tall.”
“Yes, thank you.”
“I hope Emil grows as tall as you.”
“…People as tall as me are rare.”
Mom smiled and handed him another glass of milk, saying he might just be one of those rare cases. Emil accepted it obediently, while Dad silently finished his meal, unable to bring himself to feel jealous of a child.
“Dad, have another glass of juice.”
I swapped Dad’s empty glass with my own full one, and his stiff expression immediately softened.
“You should drink more than me.”
“Come on, I already finished mine.”
I whispered that it was only for him, and Dad chuckled before drinking it in one go.
After breakfast, Dad left for work at the imperial palace as usual. I listened to Isana and my personal maid, Ilena, explain today’s schedule.
“I heard about it from Mom yesterday. In the morning, Emil’s getting fitted for clothes, and in the afternoon we’re looking at ties and accessories, right?”
“Is there anything Lady Bellsia needs?”
“Me? The tailor today specializes in men’s clothes.”
“If you request something, they’ll bring another catalog tomorrow.”
Something I need… Not really. Maybe I should prepare a gift for Emil for appearances’ sake, but I could just get something from today’s selection.
While I was thinking, the appointed time arrived.
Boxes piled high in wagons were brought into the mansion one after another. By the time I went downstairs, luxurious fabrics already filled the drawing room.
Mom and Emil had arrived first.
“If you see a design you like in the catalog, let me know. Anything you don’t like can be changed.”
“…I’m not really sure about things like this.”
“Then would it be alright if I helped? Why don’t we look together?”
While Mom and Emil looked through the samples together, I examined the fabrics.
Even at a glance, there were plenty of high-quality materials. Especially those thick wool fabrics—they’d be perfect for winter.
But amid all these extravagant choices, Emil looked thoroughly confused.
“You really don’t have to do this much…”
Emil started to object but closed his mouth. His expressionless face had turned faintly red.
It looked less like shyness and more like embarrassment.
A child who never lost his noble aura even while living under contempt and oppression now looked ashamed of himself for not knowing how to respond to this situation.
As silence settled, Mom and I exchanged glances.
He already felt humiliated enough. There was no need to hurt him further.
“Come to think of it, there’s no reason to worry about choosing.”
Mom smiled.
“We’ll purchase every fabric brought today. We’ll trust in your skill and reputation for the designs.”
Emil’s eyes widened in shock.
After lunch, it was the jeweler’s turn. Unlike the morning, when rolls of fabric were carried in, now solid wooden chests and luxurious gilded boxes were lined up.
“Could you show us collar pins first? Ties and belts too. They’re for this young master.”
After the tailor left earlier, Emil had asked Mom:
“You really don’t have to do this much. I didn’t understand before, but now I do. Things like this are just normal for nobles… I simply didn’t deserve them.”
His voice asking if buying all the fabrics for him wasn’t wasteful still echoed clearly.
Mom quietly listened, slightly surprised.
“And what exactly is that qualification?”
“…What do you mean?”
“Do you think you lack it because you were born as Robellin’s son?”
Mom corrected him firmly.
“That’s merely prejudice. It’s not something that determines whether someone deserves kindness.”
“…”
It felt like I was seeing Emil suppressing overwhelming emotions more often than I had even in my previous life.
“If this makes you uncomfortable, I can tell the jeweler not to come this afternoon.”
“…It’s alright.”
“Then would it be okay if I helped you choose?”
“…Yes.”
After that short conversation, Emil seemed calmer and expressed his own opinions a little more than before.
