TVSI 04

Chapter 04

As cliché as it sounded, I thought maybe I had dreamed it all.

The destruction of my family at the hands of nineteen-year-old Emil—perhaps it had only been a nightmare from the previous dawn.

But I quickly shook my head.

No matter how much I wanted to believe that, the sensation of the cold blade piercing my stomach was far too vivid. Even now, the memory was crystal clear. There was no way something that real could be fake.

How did this happen?

I planted my trembling legs onto the floor. Noticing the shake, my nanny, Isana, quickly examined my complexion.

“My lady, are you alright?”

Isana looked much younger than she had on the day I died. Her wrinkles were faint, and the strands of gray hair I remembered had nearly vanished.

“May I check your forehead? You don’t seem to have a fever.”

“N-No, I’m okay. I just had a bad dream.”

“You look pale. Just what kind of dream did you have? If you can’t calm down, shall I bring you some warm milk?”

“Yes, please.”

After Isana headed downstairs to the kitchen, I staggered toward the mirror.

Gone was my seventeen-year-old self. Instead, a child with baby fat still lingering on her face stood before me.

Back then, I had grown my hair quite long, but now it only reached slightly past my shoulders.

Ivory-colored hair, neatly parted and perfectly straight, shone softly with healthy nourishment.

Bright crimson eyes stared back at me, unable to hide their confusion.

There’s no mistake. This is real.

I had no idea how I had returned to the past. Regressing in time? That shouldn’t even be possible.

Then suddenly, one fact came to mind.

I knew someone who had regressed.

My mother.

Could Mom have regressed too?

It was possible. I hadn’t seen my parents die with my own eyes, but Emil had confessed that he killed them himself.

Emil.

The moment his name crossed my mind, complicated emotions flooded me. At the same time, questions arose.

Why did he destroy my family?

Despite such a massacre, the mansion had been eerily silent. Even the servants must have been murdered.

“Ugh…”

The memory was so horrifying it made my stomach churn. Even covering my mouth, I could almost smell the heavy scent of blood lingering in my nose.

Had the madness that afflicted the villainess finally manifested in him?

The Emil I encountered that night certainly seemed that way. The Emil I knew would never have done something so monstrous.

What did he mean by “rather than live like puppets”…?

Right now, the most likely explanation was that Emil had inherited the same madness that once consumed the villainess Robellin.

But the most important thing is that even if I returned to the past, the same tragedy could happen again.

Just as Mother had hidden her twelve regressions from Father, I had hidden the memories of my previous life.

I was afraid they would think I was strange.

Afraid that the family I had finally gained would cast me aside one day.

Or distance themselves from me.

That fear had always lingered beneath my happiness.

When I turned fifteen, I finally confessed my secret to Mother.

—Actually, I remember my life before I was born.

Mother had looked startled for a moment.

Then she comforted me and revealed her own secret.

—You really are my daughter. You’re just like me. Actually, I’ve turned back time a few times too.

Until then, I had only thought I’d gained a family.

That was the moment it finally felt like I had gained a real family.

People who would understand me no matter who I was.

People who would accept me completely.

I couldn’t lose that peace again.

I already knew what would happen.

I couldn’t let history repeat itself.

First, I need to figure out why Emil killed my family.

Once I had calmed down enough to sit in a soft chair, Isana returned right on time.

“It’s still a bit hot, my lady.”

“I’ll let it cool while I drink. Thank you.”

Holding the warm cup gradually soothed my wildly pounding heart.

“If you develop a fever or feel unwell, please say so. His Lordship can cancel everything.”

“Everything?”

Only then did I realize—I didn’t even know today’s date.

“Tomorrow is your birthday banquet, but your health is far more important.”

I had intended to ask anyway, but thanks to her explanation, I realized I was ten years old.

My tenth birthday banquet.

Coincidentally, the exact day Emil first appeared in public.

“We sent an invitation to Young Duke Calixte as well, but even if we postpone, I’m sure he’ll understand.”

Draping a shawl over my shoulders, Isana smiled proudly at my improved complexion.

“But you do look much better now. Thank goodness.”

“The milk helped. Besides, I’m not sick, so there’s no need to cancel the banquet.”

“Are you sure?”

“I shouldn’t pretend to be sick when I’m not.”

The banquet had to happen.

That was the day Emil would come.

Sooner or later, I’d be tangled up with him again anyway.

I couldn’t let this opportunity slip away.

“Pretending wouldn’t matter. If you wanted, His Lordship would cancel everything without hesitation.”

That’s true…

Father had always shown affection in countless ways.

Even if I faked illness, one word from me would make him abandon every plan immediately.

The shock of my family’s massacre and regression had left me unsettled, but by the time I finished my milk, the trembling had mostly faded.

“It’s almost breakfast time. Since the weather is chilly today, I’ll prepare a thicker dress.”

After confirming my empty cup, Isana instructed the maids to prepare washing water.

With her help, I bathed, changed clothes, and had my hair carefully brushed before finally heading to the dining room.

Carefully sitting so my pale gray dress wouldn’t wrinkle, I noticed Mother smiling softly from across the round table.

“Did you sleep well?”

Normally, I would have nodded immediately.

But the moment I saw Mother’s face, the image of the blood-stained hallway flashed through my mind.

The memory refused to leave me.

And since I’d already shown signs of distress, Isana would surely tell them about my strange behavior this morning.

More importantly, since I regressed right after dying, perhaps Mother—who had already experienced regression multiple times—had too.

Did Mom regress as well?

By the time Mother’s puzzled expression shifted into concern, I finally answered.

“I had a bad dream, but I’m okay now. In the dream… you and Dad passed away in an accident before me. I was so scared and anxious… but seeing your face now makes me realize it was just a dream.”

If Mother had regressed too, she would catch the implication.

But her reaction was different.

“Do you want a hug, sweetheart?”

I instinctively flinched but then moved closer and embraced her tightly.

“Your father and I are healthy and strong, so don’t worry. They say dreams mean the opposite, don’t they? Is this because of the birthday banquet?”

“No.”

“If you want, we can cancel it. You can tell me honestly.”

Contrary to my hopes, there was no sign Mother had regressed like me.

Still, I was relieved.

Her warmth felt too comforting.

For a moment, I almost convinced myself it had all been a dream.

Maybe I wanted to deny my memories.

Or maybe I just needed someone to lean on.

“Are you upset because of the dream?”

“…Is it that obvious?”

“You’ve always tried to endure everything alone. If it were the banquet, I could cancel it. But I can’t erase a dream… How about we go for a walk after breakfast instead?”

Her gentle voice made me smile faintly.

“Okay.”

Seeing my mood improve, Mother smiled warmly.

Though honestly, why did everyone think I was nervous about the birthday party?

Well, I suppose it made sense.

Tomorrow’s banquet would officially be the first event hosted under my name.

I had thought of it as a simple child’s birthday party, but it turned out far grander than expected.

Next time, I’ll convince them to celebrate with just family.

Otherwise, this spectacle would repeat every year.

As I returned to my seat, Father entered the dining room in full uniform.

“Happy birthday in advance.”

“…What?”

The celebration came out so naturally that Mother burst into laughter.

“You know you’ve been saying that for a week now, right?”

“So it seems.”

“No matter how excited you are, try to show some restraint. Honestly, you seem the most excited of all.”

Father silently denied it while sipping tea.

But honestly, I agreed with Mother.

Didn’t he pile presents up like a Christmas tree on the actual day?

And then he’d shamelessly shower me with embarrassing compliments in front of all the noble children.

I have to relive that again.

I wanted to stop him beforehand.

But Mother would only encourage him.

Though she seemed gentle, she had a mischievous side.

I cut into my beautifully served poached egg.

The important thing was tomorrow.

I would meet Emil again.

The starting point for figuring out exactly where everything went wrong.

And I should meet Duke Calixte too.

The person I found most suspicious was Duke Calixte.

The man who neglected his own son, letting Emil grow up isolated and despised.

I poked at the yolk before setting down my fork.

The Emil I had last seen was nineteen.

Because of that, my memories of ten-year-old Emil had grown blurry.

The friend who killed my family.

Honestly, the betrayal still hurt deeply.

But at the same time, part of me still wanted to believe in him.

That Emil had done nothing wrong.

I swallowed down the bitter emotions threatening to surface.

Time passed quickly.

“My lady, we must get you ready!”

The most excited people today seemed to be Mother, Father, and Isana.

Early in the morning, Isana woke me up and immediately began preparing me with the maids.

Save me…

How had I forgotten?

Every birthday came with at least twenty dresses prepared in advance.

Just looking at the room filled with gowns displayed on mannequins drained my energy.

As I scanned the dresses, I spotted one I had worn before my regression.

A white dress layered with lace and embroidered with gold thread.

I had liked that dress.

But somehow, I didn’t want to wear the same one again.

“That one.”

“The soft sky-blue dress?”

When I pointed at my favorite, two maids immediately brought it over.

“It will suit you perfectly, my lady. The silver-white embroidery is quite elegant.”

“Right? I want this one.”

Since I chose so quickly, Isana glanced over the others.

“Shouldn’t you try on a few more?”

“I’m wearing this one anyway. It’s a waste of time.”

Shaking my head, I finally made her give in.

“Well, you’ll be busy all day. Our young lady should conserve her energy.”

Exactly.

I’d be spending the entire day surrounded by children.

Better save my stamina.

After putting on the dress, my short hair was lightly swept behind one ear and adorned with a headband.

A sparkling topaz pin secured the exposed side.

When everything was finished, the unfamiliar younger version of myself stared back nervously.

I have to do this right.

Otherwise…

Fear crept in.

Could I really change the future?

Shaking my head, I tried to push the anxiety away.

First things first—

I had to become closer to Emil faster than before.

That way, I’ll face fewer restrictions no matter what happens.

Suppressing my fear, I left the room.

Father was already waiting.

“This isn’t an early congratulations today.”

“Huh?”

“Happy birthday.”

Had he really been waiting just to say that?

I laughed.

The anxiety pounding in my chest finally eased.

“Thank you.”

Even beneath Father’s stoic expression, I could see his overwhelming happiness.

“Hm?”

He hesitated while extending his hand.

I quickly grabbed it with both of mine.

The walk to the ballroom was short.

The moment Father and I entered, applause erupted and everyone turned toward us.

It’s even grander than I remembered.

Truthfully, I never liked social gatherings like this.

I attended only necessary events and preferred staying in my territory managing affairs.

Reaching the head table, I smiled politely.

“Thank you all for accepting my invitation to celebrate my birthday today.”

It was my tenth birthday.