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Chapter 08
Sylvia, who had escorted me all the way to the restaurant hall to make sure I wouldn’t trip, sat across the table with a beaming smile. In the end, I naturally ended up having a meal with Sylvia.
“But Lady Linea. Why are you speaking formally to me?”
There wasn’t really any particular reason. Since I was someone who would soon be leaving, I was simply minding my own manners.
However, to say that, I would first have to mention the broken engagement, so I vaguely put off my answer. If Jess hadn’t announced it, I didn’t think I needed to bring it up either.
“I’ve been putting a lot of effort into studying etiquette lately.”
“Oh ho. I see.”
Sylvia nodded her head enthusiastically even at my flimsy excuse.
“Oh, by the way, did you know? I was chosen as Lady Linea’s temporary escort knight because I’m the most cultured and elegant person in the knight order.”
I gave a strained smile. I couldn’t tell if she was joking or serious. Sylvia paid no mind to my lukewarm reaction.
“One of the strict criteria for being allowed to stay by Lady Linea’s side was having both dignity and culture. Fortunately, I was able to pass.”
Sylvia winked playfully and began cheerfully cutting her meat. I forced myself to pretend to smile.
“The conditions are quite strict indeed. It’s just about being with me, yet they set such overly grand standards.”
“Come on, it’s only natural when selecting Lady Linea’s escort. Rather, the problem is that it’s not strict enough.”
“……”
I couldn’t keep pretending to smile anymore and lowered my head. I wasn’t someone worth that much attention.
Commoner, orphan, divine power, priest. An ambiguous position where I didn’t quite belong anywhere. A status not even worth caring about.
My fork movements naturally slowed down. When had I finished eating? There was only a small cake left in front of me. I didn’t particularly feel like touching it. My appetite tasted bitter.
“Do you not like it?”
Sylvia, who had been gazing at me quietly, asked softly. I smiled and shook my head.
“No, I just don’t have much of an appetite today.”
“Ah. Maybe it’s not that Lady Linea’s palate is the problem.”
Sylvia glanced around and leaned toward me.
“It might be because of the sugar. They say these days sugar is so hard to come by that they’re only putting a little bit in the dishes. That’s why the head chef has been on edge because the food has become tasteless. The price is already high, and they’re having a hard time because the southern region has blocked distribution.”
“Sugar? From the south? Why?”
“Well, I don’t quite know that far either……”
Sylvia trailed off with an ambiguous smile. I responded appropriately while quickly searching my mind.
Sugar, south, shortage. Hmm. Did something major happen around this time?
But nothing particular came to mind. Whether it was political issues or natural disasters like floods or droughts. I knew nothing.
‘So much for returning……’
I realized once again that I had nothing and lacked any useful knowledge. Swallowing a sigh, I looked at the cake in front of me and poked it with my fork.
Slightly melted chocolate oozed out from inside. I stared at it for a moment before shoving it all into my mouth. A bitter taste spread immediately, but it was surprisingly edible.
—
* * *
—
I had been careless. That was exactly the word for it. Since Jess still had at least a week before returning, I thought lightly—let me just take it easy for a day, or two.
But the people who hated me weren’t about to just let that slide.
Bang!
The door burst open as if it would break.
“…Ah.”
I let out a brief groan and pulled the blanket over my head. The headache I had barely managed to settle back into sleep came surging again.
The distinct clicking of heels—as if deliberately stepped with force—echoed through the room and stopped in front of the bed. The owner of the footsteps clicked their tongue.
I could guess who it was. Hilde Lapar, Lady Hilde.
“Remove it.”
“Excuse me? B-but……”
I heard the maid stammering in response to Lady Hilde’s cold words. Remove it? Remove what? Surely not my blanket? Letting out a hollow laugh, I threw the blanket off myself before anyone could touch it.
As expected, Lady Hilde was looking down at me with icy eyes. Without getting up, I lay there and let out a sigh. She certainly hadn’t come to do anything pleasant with me at this early hour, and I had no intention of being polite to someone who disliked me either.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Instead of answering, I brushed my fallen hair back. There was no way she was genuinely curious about what I was doing. I absolutely hated that kind of patronizing talk.
“You have no shame.”
When I remained silent, Lady Hilde scanned me from head to toe and twisted the corner of her mouth.
“This is exactly why I said not to bring in someone of low birth.”
The maid standing by the bed gasped sharply. As for me, I answered indifferently.
“Is that so?”
I had heard that quite often while staying at Lefgaen Castle when Jess wasn’t around. At first, it hurt and made me sad, but I suppose I had grown used to it because I didn’t feel much of anything anymore.
Still, every time I heard such words, I did wonder.
I slowly rose from my spot. Even with the change in posture, the headache persisted, so I pressed one side of my head with my fingers as I spoke.
“What about my birth?”
“What…?”
“I don’t know, you see. Neither the people who gave birth to me nor where I was born. I was wondering if you might know and that’s why you’re saying it.”
The person who mentioned my birth the most was Hilde Lapar. So I was genuinely curious.
However, seeing Lady Hilde’s contorted expression, I realized I had misjudged.
‘I messed up.’
It seemed like she had just made those remarks to insult me, but I had gone and assigned deep meaning to them all on my own.
“Drag her out, right now!”
Even as Lady Hilde shouted loudly, the maids were at a loss and no one moved. The knights who had rushed into the room at some point, having heard the commotion, were the same.
Not wanting to cause unnecessary trouble for others, I stepped out of bed on my own. As I was slipping one foot into a slipper, Lady Hilde, without waiting further, roughly grabbed my arm and yanked.
“Ah.”
“I’ve tolerated you out of consideration for the past, but I can no longer overlook this.”
My ankle throbbed, making me frown. It wasn’t as if the bone was broken, so I didn’t understand why it was taking so long to heal.
“Madam, Lady Linea has injured her leg, so……”
“Lady? Who? This one?”
As one maid finally managed to speak up, Lady Hilde snapped sharply.
“Ha. It’s been ages since the letter of annulment was sent. Are you still calling her ‘Lady’ and treating her like a fiancée?”
“Eh? A-an annulment?”
The maid stammered and looked at me. The surrounding gazes focused on me.
“Ha.”
I let out an involuntary hollow laugh. In truth, I wanted to laugh out loud. So this was why Lady Hilde had come at this ungodly hour.
“Don’t tell me you’ve been pretending all this time that the engagement wasn’t broken off?”
“I understand, so please let go of this first.”
“You understand? What do you understand?”
“You want me to leave here, don’t you? I’ll leave. From Lefgaen Castle.”
Perhaps that was the answer she wanted, because Lady Hilde let go of my arm with a displeased expression, though she did. Rubbing my wrist, where faint finger marks remained, I looked around the room.
I thought I hadn’t paid much attention to it, but oddly, my eyes stopped at various spots in the room.
I had come to the North with almost nothing. Because I had nothing to my name. So most of the things in this room were gifts from Jess and the people of the North.
Since they weren’t originally mine, I shouldn’t be greedy. I forced my gaze away.
“What are you dawdling for?”
“I’ll leave after I get dressed.”
I couldn’t endure the northern cold in my nightgown. It should be fine to take at least one set of clothes. I slowly moved my feet. Lady Hilde’s sharp glare followed me.
“Can I ask one thing?”
“……Go ahead.”
“Did Jess order this?”
“……”
“Did Jess… tell me before he left? That he wanted me gone before he returned?”
After saying that, my lips somehow felt parched. It was a bit disappointing to leave without seeing Jess’s face. More than disappointing, I hated it.
In my past life, I regretted that for quite a long time. Disappearing without a word. At the very least, I wanted to say “Goodbye.”
Or “Thank you for everything.” Or if not that, hmm, how about “Let’s see each other again sometime?”
‘Is that too clingy?’
The few seconds when Lady Hilde looked at me with an unreadable gaze and her lips slanted open felt far too long for me.
“That’s what you’re curious about? If you want that answer, then yes, that’s right. But why? Did you really think Jess would leave you alone?”
I quietly nodded. At the same time, I absentmindedly touched near my heart, which was oddly throbbing.
I see. So that’s what Jess wanted. Then the meal we had together last time would be my last with Jess.
What Jess had kept wanting to talk about back then—could it have been that he wanted me to leave quickly? I continued my thoughts but eventually realized it was a pointless exercise and stopped.
