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Chapter 16
Stay Awake and Wait
2022.01.25
The air grew so still it felt heavy. I stiffened my body and stared at Johan.
Where did he hear about this?
Johan’s red eyes bore into me as if I were the only person in the world. He strode toward me. Betty instinctively withdrew her hand and stepped back. Johan took her place, perching on the edge of my bed.
“Madam, are you feeling alright?”
“Yes. I slept well, and I feel better now.”
“You’re alright?”
A cold shadow passed over Johan’s eyes. Maybe it was the shadow, or perhaps it was the fact that he had stayed up many nights worrying about me, but his face looked tired, unlike before. The slight imperfections in his otherwise perfect appearance added a decadent allure. He slowly lowered his gaze to my swollen wrist. I had been about to explain, but Johan was quicker.
“It’s still swollen.”
“This is…”
“You also have a slight fever. Madam, at what point would you consider yourself unwell enough to worry me?”
Johan touched my forehead, examining it, and murmured in a cold, reproachful voice.
“It’s really just that I’m fine. I can’t claim to be in pain if I’m not.”
“If you’re really fine, why didn’t you tell me?”
His tone wasn’t much different from usual, but for some reason, I felt as if he were upset.
Could it be because he realized the person he planned to take revenge on was sick?
Thinking about it, I could understand why he might be annoyed. He had carefully planned revenge, and now the target might die of illness before he could act. It would surely feel frustrating.
“That’s my fault. I didn’t want to worry you over something minor.”
“Minor, yet you could faint for a whole week? Has Imperial medicine become that lenient?”
Having just woken up and feeling a bit relaxed, I asked Henry.
“Perhaps she recovered in a week. Right, Henry?”
Johan gave Henry a faint smile. Suddenly forced to choose a side, Henry began to sweat nervously.
“That could be possible, but… Madam, it’s unlikely. For a normal person, these symptoms would have passed quickly, yet she fainted for an entire week.”
Hearing it described as “fainting” made my condition sound serious. But to me, it still felt like a distant story.
I’ve always fainted often…
It didn’t feel serious since I wasn’t in pain at the moment. Johan lightly gripped Henry’s shoulder and asked in a low voice, naturally imposing his presence.
“So, what caused my wife to collapse?”
“R… right now, all we can say is that her constitution is naturally weak.”
“To have me wait a week and all you have to say is that.”
Though Johan’s attitude hadn’t changed much, I couldn’t understand why he seemed so terrifying. I stepped forward to prevent Henry from taking the blame unnecessarily.
“The doctor is correct. I’ve often been sick since childhood. This kind of thing happened frequently too.”
Johan’s mouth tilted slightly in a crooked line.
“Then why didn’t you say so sooner?”
“There was no need to. The Duke never asked, and it’s not a chronic disease.”
“…The House of Libertan?”
“Technically, they did nothing.”
The House of Libertan had been abusive. But that didn’t mean I blamed them entirely for my sickness.
I was often ill even at the orphanage.
Going to Libertan made it worse, probably due to stress.
“Illness can’t be cured by effort alone. No matter how skilled a doctor is, they can’t fix what can’t be treated.”
The perfect example was Estella, the Duke’s biological daughter.
Estella died from an incurable disease.
Unlike me, she had been loved by everyone. If she hadn’t died, I might never have been adopted into the House of Libertan or faced these hardships. Otherwise, there would have been no reason for them to adopt an orphaned girl.
The disease was called ‘Sleeping Princess,’ wasn’t it?
The name came from the fairy tale notion that the patient would sleep forever. In reality, it was a severe illness. The patient’s body gradually deteriorated without their knowledge, eventually ending life as if asleep.
It would have been better if it were just a long sleep.
It wasn’t. The patient’s body functions stopped the moment they fell asleep, ending their life.
Not that I have that disease anyway.
The Sleeping Princess disease was rare. Even the House of Libertan was devastated when Estella was struck by it. Johan, who had been quietly listening to me, now had heavy eyes.
“So, you’re saying I should pretend not to know and not worry?”
“I didn’t exactly say that.”
I tried to come up with a response Johan might accept.
“I just mean it’s not worth wasting unnecessary emotion on.”
Johan’s smile slightly faltered.
“Why?”
He slowly leaned closer, his handsome, languid face near mine, as if about to kiss me. Seeing his masculine nose, I unconsciously clutched the blanket tightly.
“Why… because it’s unnecessary.”
Somehow, he seemed to be in more pain than I was, after being unconscious for a week. Nervously, I replied in a trembling voice.
“That’s… because there’s nothing we can do about it.”
“….”
“Could you cure me if I asked?”
“Yes. I would.”
For some reason, Johan looked at me with slightly desperate eyes.
“I can fulfill any wish you have. So, say anything comfortably.”
A sudden thought struck me.
He’s not going to grant what I truly want anyway.
So, I asked indirectly, recalling the promises he had actually made.
“May I visit my father and mother?”
The smile on Johan’s lips began to feel slightly frightening.
Did I go too far?
It was a half-impulsive question, but before I could backtrack, he took my hand and said,
“Yes. Go.”
Johan had been caring, even feeding me porridge himself before leaving. But the words he left just before going kept echoing in my mind:
I’m concerned for your health too, so think of a way to reassure me.
I knew he wouldn’t let things go easily! Just then, Betty returned, looking worried.
“Madam, the head maid has come to apologize to you.”
“The head maid?”
I suddenly remembered the first time I saw Patricia.
I couldn’t even greet her properly before fainting.
She probably hated me even more after that encounter. I needed to be firm with Patricia. She entered gracefully and greeted me. Her expressionless face and neatly styled hair made her look just like the first day I saw her.
“Greetings, Madam. Are you feeling better?”
“I am.”
Patricia nodded and slowly knelt.
“As you know, this entire incident occurred due to my negligence in managing the staff. I am truly sorry. Whatever punishment you deem fit, I will accept.”
I was surprised by Patricia’s demeanor.
She wasn’t usually like this.
Even in the original story, she apologized, but not with such humility. Patricia had been born a noble.
Did Johan make her do this?
I wasn’t sure if it was good or bad.
But this is a good opportunity.
I looked at Patricia calmly and spoke in a composed voice.
“You came to apologize to me, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
Patricia slowly lifted her head. I observed her face and spoke gracefully.
“Then I will not accept Lady Gillite’s apology.”
“…Excuse me?”
She seemed shocked by my response. I smiled faintly.
“Because Lady Gillite doesn’t even know what her fault is.”
Patricia’s teal eyes wavered.
“What do you mean…?”
“Do you think this is the only incident where you’ve been negligent?”
Honestly, the original story didn’t show much of Patricia’s side. But the words she had used when tormenting or confronting me were known.
‘Do you truly think your actions are right, Madam? Do you believe you can fulfill your duties when you cannot even win the hearts of the staff in this house?’
‘If you don’t know, do nothing. That’s the only way to avoid inconveniencing your master. Perhaps you can even consider that your duty.’
She had always used this “duty” as her excuse.
“I understand that you may not like me or want to get close. Everyone has their position. But you are the head maid of the Blanchet household.”
“…Yes.”
“Your fault isn’t that you didn’t respect me, but that you didn’t fulfill the duties of the head maid.”
“….”
“So, isn’t this exactly why such things happen?”
Patricia bit her lip tightly and lowered her head.
‘Looks like my words really wounded her pride.’
Still, there’s no reason for me to be sympathetic. Even if her actions were under Johan’s orders, it was Patricia who carried them out.
‘Honestly, I can’t just fire someone who used to be Johan’s loyal subordinate.’
That would be too risky. Everything I had done to appear harmless to Johan would be completely ruined.
‘It’s better to punish her and have her take on the duties of the Duchess’s lady of the house.’
“I will take over the duties of the lady of the Blanchet household from now on. Do you have any objections?”
“I have no objections, but…”
After a moment of hesitation, Patricia spoke.
“The master has already instructed that all the duties of the lady of the house be transferred to you. So, during the time you were incapacitated, everything was already taken care of.”
‘Johan said that?’
My previously clear mind became tangled again.
‘What on earth is Johan thinking?’
The mastermind’s intentions were impossible to understand. Could it be that he anticipated Patricia stepping back and moved beforehand to build my trust?
“…Is that so.”
I finally responded, trying to calm my confusion, and addressed Patricia.
“Now, I will tell you the punishment to be given. You, as the maid in charge of the household, failed to perform your duties while taking on the responsibilities of the lady of the house, and you disrupted the order of the Blanchet household yourself. In doing so, you caused trouble for the Duke.”
“……”
“So, administer a punishment appropriate to your offense yourself.”
By doing this, I could impose a suitable punishment on Patricia without using my own hands, and without being accused of being too harsh.
‘And if she gives herself a too-light punishment?’
That’s fine too. Now that I’m in charge of the lady of the house’s duties, I can use that as a pretext to cut her down. Either way, Patricia can no longer harass me as she did in the original story.
“Thank you, milady.”
Patricia’s gaze seemed a little dazed.
“I will observe a period of reflection and take a ten-year salary reduction as punishment for disturbing the order of this household.”
Then, looking at me, she raised her own hand and struck her cheek with full force. Smack! One hit, and a thin line of blood ran from the corner of her mouth.
‘…Ruthless…’
Yet despite the fearsome glare she directed at me, her eyes had a strange sparkle, full of life.
‘Why does it feel like she doesn’t hate me?’
But that was probably just my illusion. After such a confrontation, there’s no way she wouldn’t feel some resentment. Even in a good relationship, this would breed bitterness.
Patricia slowly left my room.
‘To think someone so perfect exists.’
Originally, Patricia had looked down on Estelle. She could resent her as the daughter of Libertan, but more importantly, she assumed that no matter what Libertan’s daughter did, she could never surpass Patricia. So Johan’s decision to take the duties from her made even less sense to her.
‘But the foolish one was you, Patricia.’
Patricia closed her eyes tightly, reflecting on Estelle’s calm and composed words.
“Your offense isn’t failing to respect me—it’s failing in your duties as the head maid.”
Surely, Estelle must have disliked her too. After all, she had been a rude head maid who never properly greeted the lady of the house.
‘And yet…’
Estelle showed no trace of personal emotion. On the contrary, she pointed out Patricia’s oversight with an extraordinarily serene demeanor.
“So, administer a punishment appropriate to your offense yourself.”
At that moment, Patricia was unexpectedly shaken.
‘She could have easily kicked me out.’
Usually, a head maid who loses such a power struggle would be expelled from the household, making it easier for the lady of the house to manage things. But Estelle put aside her own convenience and any personal dislike, giving Patricia a chance to adjust her behavior.
‘This is a consideration for me.’
Tears threatened to well up in Patricia’s dry eyes.
‘Why would you show such mercy to me…?’
Estelle extended goodwill even to someone she had never met and who had disliked her.
“I will take over the duties of the lady of the Blanchet household from now on. Do you have any objections?”
She asked Patricia, probably just to make sure, even though Johan had already given his orders.
‘She acknowledged me for all the work I’ve done as the lady of the house.’
By officially recognizing her past work and even asking her opinion, she had shown respect. With Johan’s decision, she could have simply enforced the punishment without any further consultation.
‘She is… exactly the lady of the house I’ve dreamed of.’
A person who maintains dignity and duty, yet shows proper leniency and guidance to subordinates. For a moment, Patricia forgot that Estelle was Libertan’s daughter and struck her own cheek with full force, repenting, to obey her commands.
‘What should I do now?’
As Patricia prepared herself for reflection, her mind was conflicted. Estelle was both the target of Blanchet family revenge and the very lady of the house Patricia had always dreamed of.
‘I don’t think I can hate her anymore…’
At that moment, looking down at her gracefully, Patricia had unconsciously accepted Estelle as the Duchess of the Blanchet household.
After Patricia left, I gazed at the sky outside. Darkness had already fallen.
‘It’s night already even though I slept that long.’
I wasn’t sleepy, but I remembered the doctor’s advice that to recover properly, I had to sleep at night regardless.
‘Might as well read a book until I fall asleep.’
But a note was tucked between the pages of the book. Elegant handwriting that was clearly noble.
[Milady, don’t sleep tonight. We need to sleep together.]
