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Chapter 4 — Why Hide Being Sick?
2021.12.14
At Johan’s words, I nodded.
“Y-Yes, I suppose so.”
“Didn’t you say you’d do your best for me?”
Johan lowered his eyebrows slightly, as if disappointed. There was even a faint hurt in his low voice.
“It’s a little hurtful when you push me away so obviously like this.”
If anyone heard him, they might think I’d done something wrong.
When did I push you away?!
I could feel a small spark of injustice flare inside me. But strangely, when I listened to Johan, no fitting retort came to mind. After all, what he was saying was technically true.
But that’s not what I meant at all.
His handsome face moved closer, close enough to touch if I just reached out my arm.
“Are you making me expect something for no reason, only to back out?”
“…”
“How cruel.”
I suddenly felt like I’d become some femme fatale who toys with men’s hearts — when in reality, he’s the one tempting me only to toss me aside!
“What are you talking about? I’ve never backed out.”
“Then you don’t agree with what I said?”
“I’m just saying there’s a bit of injustice here.”
“Then will you do what I want?”
Johan’s lips curved into a soft smile as he reached out with firm fingers to sweep my bangs back. My heartbeat pounded louder.
“Well…”
At my awkward reply, he smiled with his eyes and slowly leaned in. His well-shaped lips, tinged with red, approached at an unhurried pace. I reflexively shut my eyes tight.
A clear, light laugh followed, and instead of his lips, his forehead lightly bumped against mine.
“Feeling a bit more relaxed now?”
“…What?”
“I was just teasing you a little on purpose.”
Johan winked one eye as his large hand fiddled with my earlobe.
“It seemed like you were staying tense out of pressure. You don’t have to.”
I shouldn’t have, but my strength drained away. His words made my earlier tension feel almost silly. I hurried to steel my heart again.
This is all part of the villain’s scheme.
But my wariness kept melting. Johan’s smile, crinkling at the corners of his eyes, made him look more like a mischievous boy than the skilled, calculating man who’d just been toying with me.
“What was that for?”
“You already seem pretty comfortable talking with me.”
“Talking was never that difficult for me in the first place.”
“Then I guess my prank was for nothing.”
Hearing his sly tone made my head spin.
I thought the heat rising in me was just from being conscious of the villain…
But it seemed the aftereffects of the Eleon fruit I’d eaten earlier were finally kicking in. If I stayed here much longer, I might actually collapse in front of him.
That would be disastrous.
This man was a sharp, dangerous villain. Even a small clue might lead him to guess that I was the unloved daughter of the Duke of Libertan.
He might kill me on the spot.
The only reason I could maintain my position here was because I was valuable as a target of revenge. Johan intended to inflict the most pain on the daughter Libertan loved — by giving her a wretched death. If I was unloved, there would be no reason to keep me alive.
Above all, until I can escape, I can’t afford to provoke him any further.
I absolutely couldn’t allow my range of action to shrink until I was incapable of doing anything. And everyone who’d ever seen me sick had only grown to despise me more.
Even if I am just a stand-in for his real daughter, why does the Duke of Libertan keep someone like me in the mansion? Honestly, I’m nothing but trouble for the household.
She’s probably just pretending to be sicker to gain the Duke’s pity.
If this villain learned I was ill, he might use it as an excuse to confine me even more strictly, under the guise of “care.”
“Well then, I, the bad wife, am going to bed now.”
I tried to usher Johan out of my room, even if a little awkwardly. Luckily, he went along with it and let me lead him toward the door.
“Do you usually go to bed this early?”
“This is later than I usually go to bed.”
“It’s not because you’re upset about my prank?”
From his spot at the door, Johan asked, and I answered plainly:
“Not at all.”
“Then that’s fine.”
The dizziness worsened. Soon, I might not even be able to walk straight. As I started to turn away, Johan caught my face in his hand. I froze, afraid he’d notice the fever burning in my head.
“Good night, my lady.”
But he only smiled lazily, brushed my bangs aside, and left.
Johan didn’t actually leave — he leaned against the door instead. He’d come here to test Estelle, but had only ended up with more questions.
She had a fever.
When he brushed her bangs away earlier, their foreheads had touched. The heat was unmistakable.
It must be an Eleon fruit allergy flare-up.
That would explain why she’d suddenly tried to send him away. He recalled how naturally Estelle had acted while showing him out — so natural that, if he hadn’t checked her forehead, he might not have guessed she had a fever at all.
Why would she try to hide her allergy symptoms?
If she’d wanted his sympathy, she should’ve “accidentally” let him notice. Her behavior was completely baffling.
He waited, listening to the faint breathing of the sleeping woman inside, occasionally broken by soft, pained groans. She seemed determined to endure the pain without help.
Silently, he opened the door again.
Inside, just as he expected, Estelle was clutching the blanket like it was some kind of shield. He pressed his large hand to her sweat-damp forehead.
She could’ve just asked for a doctor.
From his pocket, he took out the medicine for Eleon fruit allergies he’d brought — something he’d intended to give her as a way to earn points if she’d been honest.
But she kept hiding it, so I’ll use it this way instead.
He dropped a few sips of the liquid into her mouth. Almost immediately, her ragged breathing began to steady.
Then he realized something strange.
From earlier until now, despite touching the despised daughter of Libertan, he hadn’t felt any disgust. In fact… he’d almost liked the softness of her skin.
Ridiculous.
I woke feeling unusually refreshed. It had been so long since my body felt this light that I stretched without thinking.
Maybe it’s because I slept somewhere different?
Usually, eating Eleon fruit left me drained until at least midday. But today, I felt as if I’d taken some kind of tonic instead.
Maybe my allergy’s gotten better.
Sometimes illnesses improved without you realizing.
I drew back the black curtains to enjoy the morning sunlight, just as Betty came in.
“My lady, did you sleep well?”
“Yes. The bedroom’s so nice, I slept wonderfully.”
At my praise of the bed, Betty’s brown eyes wavered slightly, as if the idea of liking such a dark room seemed odd to her.
“I-I see. I was worried we hadn’t prepared a room befitting your status, so I’m glad to hear that.”
“My status?”
This bed was so good it even seemed to have eased my allergy symptoms.
Though maybe it wasn’t the bed’s doing.
Still, finding a bed that suited me was a relief.
“This is the first time I’ve slept in such a nice bed.”
In the original story, the servants of House Blanchet were all fiercely loyal, working together to make my life difficult.
I should praise the Blanchets.
People were always happy to hear their beloved things praised.
“It almost worries me, being the lady of such a fine household.”
“…Don’t worry, my lady. You’ll do just fine.”
“Thank you for saying that.”
I smiled warmly, but I thought I caught a flicker of sadness on Betty’s face.
Did I imagine that?
When I looked again, she was smiling more brightly than before. There was no reason she’d look sad after I’d praised the Blanchets.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t prepare bathwater for you yesterday. I’ve already had it ready today. How about a light breakfast, then a bath?”
I’d been feeling a little sticky anyway.
“Sounds good. What’s for breakfast?”
Johan had apparently gone out early for work, so I ate the simple breakfast alone — which felt more comfortable without him there.
The cherry pie was delicious.
Thankfully, there was no Eleon fruit dessert today, making the meal even more satisfying. Even if dessert at breakfast was a bit much, refusing food would’ve been rude to the chef.
After tea, I followed Betty down the annex hallway toward the bath. The walls of the central hall were covered with black cloth — probably over paintings.
Catching my gaze, Betty smiled.
“Are the black portraits intriguing, my lady?”
“Black portraits?”
“Yes. In House Blanchet, we have a tradition of hanging the portraits of those we must never forget, so they’re remembered for generations. It might be unfamiliar to you.”
Thankfully, this wasn’t news to me.
In the original, I saw these black-draped portraits and got scared, didn’t I?
They were portraits of retainers who had served Blanchet faithfully until death. The unusual thing was that they were painted to look terrifying and grotesque.
To honor their will to protect Blanchet even in death, supposedly.
In the novel, my frightened reaction had been seen as disrespect toward Blanchet’s loyal servants.
If I know in advance, I won’t be startled.
Betty asked carefully:
“Would you like to see what’s behind the cloth?”
“Am I allowed?”
“Of course. You’re the duchess of Blanchet.”
Betty whisked away the cloth.
Not that scary.
Maybe it was because I already knew, but the paintings just looked like unique, stylized portraits. She showed me more, and one nameplate caught my eye.
Lexius Polman?
Why did that name feel familiar? Had I read it in the novel?
Betty then asked the question I’d been waiting for.
“Do these portraits frighten you, my lady?”
“Not at all. They’re important enough for Blanchet to insist they mustn’t be forgotten. Thinking of it that way, they’re not scary.”
“…”
“I only feel grateful.”
I delivered the line I’d prepared with a smile. Betty watched me in silence for a moment, then smiled as if pleased.
“You’re such a kind person, my lady. The others in the house will be delighted to hear this.”
“Thank you for saying that.”
She seemed slightly different from when we first met.
Maybe showing a good side worked.
Of course, that didn’t change the fact she was Johan’s spy.
So I added, playing the part of a lady who cared for her servants:
“But I know what I am. I’m not really a good person, or someone capable. So if you ever don’t want to serve me anymore, just say so. I’ll understand.”
If she stopped serving me, it might actually make escaping easier.
Betty said nothing, her expression complicated.
It’s not an easy thing to respond to.
The bath was in a large, luxurious room nearby. The water was already warm, ready to use.
“This will be your bath, my lady. Shall I attend you? Please remove your clothes.”
Betty held out her hands expectantly.
So the moment has come.
I’d always bathed alone at Libertan, so this was awkward — and there were things I wanted to hide.
“Can’t I just bathe alone?”
“…Without an attendant?”
Her brown eyes were full of doubt.
“My lady… If you’re uncomfortable with me, I can call another maid…”
“It’s not that. I’m just… shy.”
“But as Blanchet’s lady, you really must be attended.”
She was stubborn.
Did Johan tell her to watch me while I bathe?
If so, I had no choice. Refusing too strongly would only raise suspicion.
“Then I suppose I have no choice. I’ll accept your help.”
Reluctantly, I let her help me undress.
But as she took my dress, Betty gasped and dropped it.
“My lady… This is…”
Her gaze was fixed on the scars on my body.
This is why I didn’t want to show them.
They were very old scars — but shocking enough to surprise anyone who didn’t know the story behind them.
