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Chapter 51
The End of Winter
“Anne… I, I…”
Hearing Philip’s trembling voice, Diana blinked. His breathing shook, and his eyes were already glistening with moisture. The hand stroking her hair was undeniably gentle.
Diana closed her eyes, quietly feeling the warmth. And she thought to herself: Why now? Why like this?
She was already exhausted from her conversation with Emil. Attending Tali’s ball had also drained her both mentally and emotionally.
She didn’t want to talk to this boy right now. Maybe her heart had frozen over because of the snow? She was happy, yet at the same time, so tired.
“I… I was so narrow-minded.”
“…”
“I only got angry at you, who couldn’t say anything. Without knowing what you had gone through.”
“…”
“Not even realizing that your own brother tried to kill you… that you were struggling with that…”
“…”
“I know the feeling too, when your own sibling tries to kill you. I…”
“Philip.”
Diana called his name. Startled by her flat tone, Philip pulled away and looked at her. She had a strange coldness about her, like the barren branches of winter.
“I don’t want to talk to you right now.”
“…”
“I don’t want to be comforted, either.”
She looked at Philip’s startled face, then closed her eyes.
“Being comforted, being blamed, depending on your feelings… I’m just tired.”
“Anne…”
“Let’s talk when we get to the capital.”
She understood why Philip was saying these things. She could even sympathize. But why did she always have to be the one to understand?
“When we go to the capital, when we go there—you might not see me again!”
When Diana turned her back, Philip shouted after her. She sighed. It was getting a bit tiresome.
Of course Philip didn’t have to blindly trust her. Of course he could feel hurt when she said nothing.
But right now, human relationships felt unbearably difficult to Diana. Someone shows emotion, you read their mood, then they apologize and you forgive. Why must she always be the one gauging others’ feelings?
She knew Philip was a good person. She had relied on him. But even his comfort now only exhausted her further.
Diana walked past Philip, who kept calling her name. Can’t see me in the capital? You’re royalty, where else would you even go? His childish clinging only made her angry.
Thankfully, he didn’t follow her. The hazy sky briefly cleared, revealing the moon.
Looking up at the falling snow, Diana let out a sigh. It was as though Tali were covering the heavens with her cloak. Diana wanted to bury herself in this snow.
She had believed that, upon returning, she could change everything. That everything would turn out perfectly.
If she could return to her childhood with an adult’s mind, she thought she could undo past mistakes and live a better life.
But that, too, had been an illusion. She had learned of her father’s betrayal, her relationship with her brother had soured, and she was still tormented by people.
She couldn’t detach herself from everything.
She was still just a child. Quietly, Diana stood there, letting the snow fall on her.
Even so, she had to change things. Just as Emil did. She hated him, but she didn’t wish for his death. She hated her family, but she didn’t want to see their house destroyed.
Her steps halted when she noticed someone standing at a doorway. Amidst the white snow and moonlight, the boy looked almost like a shadow.
He raised his head and looked at her. Then, unfolding the umbrella he carried, he walked toward her and held it over her head. Diana quietly gazed at her slave—the one who would ruin her life.
“Why are you outside?”
“I thought you might be caught in the snow, so I came out.”
Looking at Giscarr holding the umbrella for her, Diana was struck. In her previous life, he had never once approached her like this. He had barely even spoken to her.
At least this much had changed.
Seeing the boy who fumbled nervously around her, Diana spoke calmly.
“Thank you.”
“…”
“I’m glad you’re here, at least.”
With those words, she considered going inside. But even the thought of stepping into that room made her feel suffocated.
“I don’t want to go back inside just yet. I want to walk a little. Will you hold the umbrella for me?”
Strangely enough, she felt it would be fine to walk with Giscarr. And she knew why. Because now the one who had to read another’s mood was reversed. Giscarr was the one who watched Diana Brien’s mood.
He nodded. Diana looked around the Brien ducal estate, blanketed in snow. It was breathtakingly beautiful, far more vast and majestic than any townhouse in the capital.
“Are you cold?”
“No, not really.”
They kept walking, the only sound the crunch of their footsteps in the fresh snow. To avoid the snowfall, they stopped beneath a large tree. From the direction of the ballroom, faint noise and laughter drifted. Then, a song carried over from inside.
**“O dragon, eternal bringer of dawn,
Was it a withering flower you loved?
Was it a star that shines only at night?
The maiden hides her face in her pale hands and weeps,
Beloved,
In the forest where we met, ah—
You, who were like the dew of the night.
I will love the withered wasteland where you lingered.
I no longer fear mornings without stars.
Here, where I was with you, ah—
The one gripped by sorrow weeps bitterly.
Grief soaks the earth.
Grief becomes a swamp that swallows all tales.”**
Amplified by magical stones, the bard’s sorrowful voice rang clear. Listening silently, Giscarr asked:
“What song is this?”
“It’s a famous folk ballad from Farnborough.”
“What is it about?”
“It’s about a dragon and a human who fell in love.”
“…”
“Of course, an eternal dragon and a fleeting human had to part. It’s the song of the one left behind.”
As she listened, Diana fell into memories. Minstrels always sang this at gatherings. Once, she had found it terribly romantic—maybe because of the mournful melody, the sorrowful voice, or simply the theme of parting.
“Do you like such nonsense songs?”
“I used to. It’s a song of my country.”
The bard repeated the plaintive tune several times. The two of them listened for a long while. When the singing ceased, silence fell again. Then Giscarr spoke.
“My lady, actually… I briefly went to Tali’s ball.”
“…”
“I thought, since you were dancing because of me, I ought to witness it. His Grace the Duke permitted it.”
“Father did?”
Giscarr nodded, lowering his gaze again.
“You were truly beautiful.”
“…”
“You couldn’t even be compared to that woman.”
His voice was as flat as ever, yet now it carried a faint trace of warmth, a spark of life. Diana looked at him in surprise.
Why are you saying this all of a sudden? You’ll have children with that woman later… Is it because your first impression of Lady Rebienne was poor, or…
Catching her baffled expression, Giscarr also looked puzzled.
“Forgive me. It was presumptuous of a slave to make such a judgment…”
“No, I didn’t take it that way. I really didn’t.”
Flustered by her response, Giscarr let out a low breath.
“No, I should apologize.”
“Why are you always so careful?”
Watching him tiptoe around her moods, Diana thought: just as she was worn out from Philip’s shifting emotions, this boy must also struggle with the mercurial moods of his master. She suddenly felt sorry for him.
“Giscarr. Let me tell you something you don’t have to worry about anymore.”
In the falling snow, she began to speak to him. Somehow, the gloom that had settled on her heart was gone.
“No matter what you do, I’ll never think, ‘for a slave, he’s overstepping’.”
“Yes, my lady.”
“I know you won’t believe me… but still.”
Better to be honest than to leave things unspoken and risk misunderstandings. Giscarr’s eyes stayed fixed on her as she spoke.
And for the first time that night, Diana’s face regained some color.
***
The season of Taliah came to an end. The high nobles returned to their estates and townhouses in the capital.
“Well done.”
The Duke smiled as he looked at Diana. She couldn’t even reply, only raised her head to look at him.
“It’s thanks to you, Father.”
And so they returned to the capital. Her father trusted her. Under his protection, Diana became the true power of House Brien. She dismissed all remnants of Mirva’s influence and replaced them with her own people.
The household grew orderly and well-managed. No one dared disobey her commands.
Spring blossomed, and as flowers fell, summer approached.
From a certain day onward, Diana threw herself into her duties even more. Seeing her impeccable management, people began to say it was time she married.
“Anne!”
She saw her maternal grandfather after a long time.
“I heard the news. You should’ve brought Barot with you.”
“Then Father might have noticed.”
At her words, her grandfather hugged her tightly, then fussed over her, checking to see if she was hurt.
How strange. She had resolved to doubt his affection, but at the sight of his worried face, her heart softened despite herself.
“Grandfather, I have a question.”
“Ask me, anything!”
“I want to deposit my assets in a bank under another name.”
“…Hm?”
He looked puzzled. Diana met his gaze.
“I want to open an account as someone other than Diana Brien.”
“It’s possible, but why?”
“Just… for my future.”
Diana only smiled, refusing to explain further.
Since Taliah, she had gained a new goal: her future after freeing Giscarr.
What should she do once he was free? She thought she could be happy anywhere, as long as she wasn’t by his side.
But that wasn’t true. She realized she was never satisfied—she wanted another kind of happiness.
And she couldn’t find it as Diana Brien. She resolved to leave her family behind.
She would live somewhere else, as someone else. Away from Giscarr, away from her family. She loved them, yes, but she no longer wanted to remain by their side.
She had realized it when she saw Philip.
That she, too, had the option of “running away.”
After Taliah ended, one spring day in bloom, Philip had left. From that, Diana learned what it meant to “flee.”
