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Chapter 10
Cecilia stood in front of the dining room with a face full of tension. Her heart was thumping wildly of its own accord.
‘Oh no, I didn’t know my family would actually call for me.’
She felt giddy, as if she were walking on clouds. Cecilia pressed her lips together, holding back the smile that kept trying to leak out. A dignified lady had to be careful with her conduct in public.
About ten minutes ago, a message had suddenly arrived from the Duchess of Lucert.
“The Duchess has requested that the Young Lady be brought to the main building.”
She had no idea how frantic she had been, rushing to get dressed at the sudden news. Cecilia looked at the firmly closed dining room doors with a fresh sense of emotion.
‘Come to think of it, this is the first time I’ve visited the main building.’
That meant that during their entire stay at the Trangsie Barony, Cecilia had not seen her family’s faces even once.
‘No, it’s okay.’
She felt like she might get a bit depressed, but Cecilia quickly shook off the feeling. Wasn’t today the day they finally had dinner together? With a smiling face as much as possible, she had to make sure not to upset her family. She had to be a bright, kind, and lovely daughter.
“Young Lady!”
In that moment, Cecilia suddenly thought of Milena. A bright and warm personality without a single shadow. A lovely girl with brilliant blonde hair and radiant green eyes—just like the ‘real daughter’ the Duke’s family missed so much.
What would it have been like if Cecilia were a person like Milena?
‘Would my family have loved me then?’
No, thinking like this would only make her feel gloomy. Cecilia, having forced the thoughts away, glanced down at her attire.
‘I don’t look strange anywhere, do I?’
She had paid as much attention as possible to her appearance, but she still couldn’t feel at ease. She patted her dress to smooth out the wrinkles. She tucked the stray hairs falling over her cheeks neatly behind her ears. After checking if the earrings dangling from her lobes were properly attached…
“Whew.”
Taking a small, deep breath, Cecilia gave a slight nod to the servant standing by the dining room door. The servant nodded back and knocked lightly on the thick door.
Knock, knock.
The door opened. Cecilia straightened her back. Pulling her chin in slightly, she stepped into the dining room with the elegant gait she had practiced hundreds of times. Then, she gave a graceful greeting.
“Did you seek me?”“……”“……”
A chilly silence descended. At the three pairs of eyes piercing through her, Cecilia swallowed hard. After a moment, a blunt response came back.
“Yes.”
The Duke, sitting at the head of the table, pointed to an empty seat with a glance.
“Sit down.”“Yes, Father.”
Cecilia sat down cautiously, stealing glances at them. The Duke of Lucert, who reminded her of a single sharp sword. The Duchess is still beautiful despite being middle-aged. And the Young Duke, Elias, whose outstanding beauty—resembling his mother—was impressive.
They were a picture-perfect family. …To the point where she felt like a stain among them.
‘Let’s not be nervous.’
Cecilia desperately comforted herself. The Duchess watched such a Cecilia with a dissatisfied gaze.
“I heard you took in a personal maid of your own accord this time?”“……”
In an instant, Cecilia’s heart sank. Elias chimed in from the side with an indifferent voice.
“Madam Howard said you are being excessively protective of that personal maid.”
“Brother, that is…”
Cecilia, about to say something, bit her lower lip hard. Then, she quietly bowed her head.
“I’m sorry. I will be careful.”
“You always say you’re sorry and that you’ll be careful.”
Elias sneered, making sure he was heard.
“Just when do you plan on having the dignity befitting a Lady of Lucert?”
“…Brother.”
“Do you even realize that you are dragging our family’s name through the mud?”
Cecilia stiffened her shoulders. Then, the Duke stopped Elias with a strict voice.
“Elias.”“……”
Elias, who had been looking Cecilia up and down with dissatisfaction, eventually clicked his tongue and turned his head away. Cecilia instinctively shrank her shoulders. Sitting on a bed of thorns would have felt more comfortable than this.
Just then, the servants began to bring out the appetizers. It was a refreshing salad with various diced fruits, topped with cheese and balsamic sauce. However, the Duchess’s expression as she looked down at the salad was quite dark.
“…Our Chesya used to love apples so much, too.”
Chesya. The nickname of the real daughter who should have received all the family’s love under the name Cecilia. A name that was never once allowed to her, the fake daughter…
‘I feel like I’m going to have indigestion.’
Cecilia gripped her fork tightly.
“I wonder where that child is and what she is doing right now.”
“Madam, do not worry yourself too much.”
The Duke comforted his wife with a pained voice.
“If you are this sad, our Chesya wouldn’t feel good either.”
“Mother, don’t be too sad. We will definitely find my younger sister one day.”
Elias also comforted his mother with a kind voice. It was true. The House of Lucert had never once given up on the real daughter. Even so, the reason Cecilia had been brought in as an adopted daughter was…
‘Because Mother needed a substitute for her daughter.’
When the real daughter went missing, the Duchess had lost her mind from the shock. She would wander around the house every night with her eyes wide open, or she would frequently faint from exhaustion after crying all day. Thus, the substitute brought in as a temporary measure was the current Cecilia.
Since adopting Cecilia, the Duchess had stabilized quickly. And so, when the Duchess—who had finally fully regained her senses—first faced Cecilia:
“…You are not my daughter.”
That trembling voice still rang clear in her ears. However, even after the Duchess recovered, the House of Lucert did not dissolve Cecilia’s adoption. It was out of guilt for having adopted her out of necessity.
‘Still… I could never become Mother’s daughter in the end.’
Even now, the Duke’s family was sending people everywhere to find the ‘real daughter.’ Every time she recalled that fact, Cecilia felt anxious, as if she were standing on thin ice.
‘Once the real Cecilia returns, my place will disappear forever.’
But then, the Duchess’s mumble, mixed with a sigh, reached her.
“Our Chesya should have been here…”
In an instant, Cecilia felt as if something inside her head had snapped.
Mother, I am sitting right here in front of you. Am I really not needed? Just because I’m a fake daughter? If it was going to be like this, I wish you hadn’t brought me in at all…!
Rattle!
The table shook violently. It was because Cecilia, unable to take it anymore, had kicked back her chair and stood up. The Duke widened his eyes and raised his voice.
“Cecilia, what on earth is this behavior?!”“……”
But Cecilia didn’t have the strength to answer that shout. After a long silence with her teeth clenched, she suddenly snapped her head up. Her blue-green eyes were already filled with tears.
“I am…”
A trembling voice leaked out. While living together, she had never once felt comfortable with her family. It was as if she were serving a distant superior. She lived in constant tension, wondering when she would be scolded. It was the same now. Even though she was so sorrowful, struggling, and lonely, she couldn’t dare to utter a single word.
For fear of being hated. For fear of becoming even lonelier.
‘How truly stupid.’
Cecilia sent a bitter laugh toward herself. Hadn’t she been loved even once anyway? Yet she felt pathetic for still being unable to give up on her family’s affection. However…
‘Now… I really can’t take it anymore.’
After panting for a long time, Cecilia turned her body around.
“Cecilia, where are you going?!”
“Stop right now!!”
The angry shouts of her family echoed behind her, but she did not stop. …She wanted to disappear from this world forever.
